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Gay Monopoly is the best board game you never knew existed

Nick Duffy August 5, 2016
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A gay version of Monopoly was created in the 1980s – and we wish it were still a thing.

West Hollywood’s Fire Island Games was apparently responsible for the very unofficial gay version of the Parker Bros classic.

It comes circa 1983 (when Ronald Reagan was busy suppressing the AIDS epidemic and Margaret Thatcher was hard at work on Section 28) – and it’s possibly one of the best queerifications of all time.

The rigid straight-edges of the hetero Monopoly board were converted into a giant circle filled with gay landmarks. The policeman sending you to jail is replaced by a homophobic preacher sending you to ‘straight city’.

Among the destinations up for sale are Castro Street, Provincetown and our favourite: Oscar Wilde’s Waterworks.

In place of the regular Top Hat, Iron, Car and Boot sit the handcuffs, the high heel and the teddy bear – and instead of buying houses and hotels, you bought bars and bathhouses.

The box and board are peppered with homoerotic Tom of Finland artwork and filled with amazing endorsements.

One bragged: “9 out of 10 drag queens surveyed preferred GAY MONOPOLY to Brand X. The 10th one was into anything anonymous.”

And another: “In recent exit polls, almost 42% correctly identified GAY MONOPOLY as a game: 17% said they had snorted it at least once and less than 20% nodded off during questioning.”

Meanwhile, the guidebook makes clear: “Remember that nothing in the rules is sacred. They are not carved in Quiche.

“Rules are for people ‘living’ in Straight City. When you play GAY MONOPOLY be inventive like gay people always are.”

According to Board Game Geek, only a “very limited number of copies of this game” were ever made – and you will be unsurprised to hear that its creators were apparently sued into oblivion for copyright infringement.

Maybe Big Boardgame were just bitter, though: Gay Monopoly holds a geek rating of 5.4 on Board Game Geeks… which is higher than actual Monopoly on 4.4.

In 2016 we’re in a very different world… and we’d love to see Gay Monopoly make a comeback!

RELATED: Dungeons and Dragons creators defend your right to be an angry pansexual bearded female dwarf

Related topics: Gay, illegal, LGBT, Queer, US

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