13 reasons lesbians and cats are soulmates and the stereotype is completely true
Since the dawning of time, lesbians and cats have been inextricably linked. Lesbians can’t get enough of cats and cats can’t get enough of lesbians (?!).
We’ve drawn up a thoroughly-researched list of scientific reasons to explain the similarities between lesbians and cats, and thus, got to the bottom of why they are so perfectly matched.
1. Cats AND lesbians both love cuddling and company
Lesbians stay home and cuddle, cats stay home and cuddle. THEY ARE EXACTLY THE SAME!
2. And they are both extremely loyal
They stand by their humans, their wives, their girlfriends, their whatever. They stand by stuff.
3. Cats take as much pride in their appearance as lesbians.
Butch, boy, femme and pirate are among cats’ and lesbians’ favourite looks.
4. Cats AND lesbians are known for causing chaos
There’s another video just like the one above that shows a lesbian pushing a glass off a table as her wife pleads with her not to.
5. They unpredictably either show complete disdain for you or want all your love and attention
Lesbians, much like cats, are known for being extremely temperamental. You just cannot tame them. Either of them.
6. Also, the preferred food of lesbians is tinned meat – the same goes for cats.
There’s nothing more appealing than a can of “chicken cake”.
7. When other lesbians drop in for a visit, they hiss and growl at each other.
As you can see, cats are prone to this behaviour too.
8. Lesbians enjoy sleeping all day, as do cats.
They are renowned for their tiredness and laziness.
9. And lesbians roam the house all night with the cats, too
Just try getting up for a drink in the night – you’ll find them all lurking in the dark for no good reason.
10. Lesbians always want to sit on surfaces
We don’t know why they feel the need to do this, but it is possible that it’s to do with being at eye-level.
11. And when new people come round to visit, lesbians hide from them.
They hide under the sofa, behind the sofa, at the top of the stairs… anywhere they can get to, for safety.
12. When you shake treats, you’ll find both lesbians and cats come running
Honestly, head out to the garden and shake some treats. It’s not just cats that will flock to your door.
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13. Lesbians DO NOT shower – instead they clean themselves using their prickly tongues
Prickly tongues are more efficient for grooming, as the lesbian has discovered.
14. And finally, both cats AND lesbians aren’t keen on long cucumber-type objects
NO THANK YOU.