We can’t let any gay penguins go to Mars, anti-LGBT Republican warns
A Republican has warned humanity that gay penguin couples should absolutely not be sent to colonise Mars.
Spectacularly homophobic Texas congressman Louie Gohmert made the comments this week in a speech on the floor of the House.
In his comments, he rallied against LGBT rights by mocking people who don’t have the ability to procreate, suggesting that everyone except fertile heterosexuals should be left to die in the apocalypse while straight people live on Mars.
In his bizarre rant, Gohmert mangles both common sense and the plot of Matt Damon film The Martian.
He posed the question: “If an asteroid were an asteroid coming, something that would end humanity on earth as dinosaurs were ended at one time…. we have a space ship that will go as Matt Damon did in the movie, plant a colony somewhere.
“We can have humans survive this terrible disaster about to befall them.
“If you could decide what 40 people you put on the spacecraft that would save humanity… how many of those would be same sex couples?”
He added: “You’re wanting to save humankind for posterity, basically a modern-day Noah, you have the opportunity to be a modern day Noah, you can preserve life.
“How many same sex couples would you take from the animal kingdom and from humans to put on the spacecraft to perpetuate humanity and the wildlife kingdom?”
The news will naturally be devastating for the many queer penguin couples of the world who hoped to see the Red Planet.
Also, as big fans of Matt Damon’s films, we’re not entirely convinced that Gohmert has actually even watched The Martian.
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The film doesn’t actually feature any apocalypse-style event, and instead revolves around a scientific research trip that goes awry.
The Texas Republican is notoriously one of the most extreme anti-LGBT voices in Congress.
Gohmert, that is, not Matt Damon.
Matt Damon is great.
Though he doesn’t want to send gays to space, he’s a big fan of sending them to a desert island.