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Comment: This guy doesn’t want to be your Gay Best Friend™ (but I do!)

Ross Semple August 6, 2015

A YouTube vlogger has told straight girls that he has no interest in being their gay best friend.

Stephen LC said in a video that he does not want to be treated like a fun accessory: “I feel like most girls who say they want a gay best friend really just want a Chihuahua, or maybe they just want a fun, flashy purse?”

Watch his video below:

Unlike Stephen, I am willing to promote my services as a Gay Best Friend™ to anyone out there – for the right price of course.

Is your life not as fabulous as it could be? Are your friends boring or too busy? Are you looking for style tips and constant positive affirmation? Then you need Ross Semple as your GBF! Here is what you can expect:

From the moment we meet, we shall refer to one another only as ‘BITCH’.

I promise to get you in to the coolest gay clubs. To ensure you have enough attention while we are there, I will put my own sex life on hold – excluding the odd beej in the toilets.

We can coordinate dance routines to Beyoncé songs and perform them to the delight of those around us.

My posing skills have been practiced to perfection so that our pictures together will get the most likes possible. #instagay #faghag

When we go out shopping, I promise to describe everything you try on as “fierce” or “sickening”.

You’ll be allowed to say ‘faggot’ and ‘poof’ because your best friend is gay.

I’ll make you feel better about your own promiscuity by consistently sleeping with more guys than you.

All our digital communications will be made publicly on Facebook and Twitter so everyone will know how close we are.

I will make an effort to snap my fingers and gesticulate as much as possible.

If we don’t feel like going out, we can always stay in – and you can tell me that I remind you of every gay person on television.

If you have an argument with one of your friends, call me and I will use my sassy wit to say terrible things about their appearance/weight.

I will give you free hair cuts. I’m not professionally trained but I’m gay so that’s qualification enough, right?

For information on rates, summon me with your loudest shriek!

More: coming out, fag hag, gay best friend, gbf, US

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