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Mariella Frostrup gives advice to man who slept with his girlfriend’s father

Naith Payton April 13, 2015

Guardian agony aunt Mariella Frostrup has drawn the ire of bisexual groups for her advice to a bisexual man.

In a letter to the agony aunt last weekend, a man asked whether he should tell his fiancée that he is bisexual and that he has slept with her father.

He said: “After 10 years of bisexuality (though I had more female partners than male) I was happy, excited and in love.

“She introduced me to her parents three months ago and her father and I recognised each other from a local cruising site.  We have been intimate on about three or four occasions.

“He has made contact with me and asked me to tell my fiancée about my sexuality.  Shall I just walk away from the woman of my dreams?”

In Ms Frostrup’s reply she described his sexuality as “a decade-long bisexual predilection that no doubt still exists”.

She also said: “Are you so confident that you have been reinvented and that this chapter isn’t just on pause? There’s no reason for you to discount your bisexuality if you choose a partner who’s equally fluid about their sexual predilections or comfortable with yours.”

“Your first task isn’t to enlighten her about her father’s cruising days – that’s a dilemma you can leave him to face up to.

“And let’s face it, you’ve been equally deceptive.”

Stonewall CEO Ruth Hunt said this “suggests his fiancé will only stay with him if she’s up for non monogamy or is bisexual too. Cos[sic] any other dynamic won’t exist.”

She tweeted to Ms Frostrup: “Come on. People with bisexual ‘predilections’ as you put it can and do marry heterosexual people.”

Bisexual campaign group The Bisexual Index said: “Many bisexual people are in happy monogamous marriages to gay or straight people despite [Ms Frostrup’s] assumptions.

“We’d suggest [she] reads up on actual bisexual lives or attends our community’s events rather than guess based on biphobic stereotypes.”

 

More: agony aunt, bisexual, Bisexuality, Guardian, Mariella Frostrup, Ruth Hunt, Stonewall

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