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Fiancé pays tribute to gay doctor who killed himself after mother told him to seek ‘cure’

Nick Duffy December 13, 2014

The partner of a man who took his own life this year after coming out to his mother has set up a foundation in his honour.

Last week, an inquest heard of how Dr Nazim Mahmood, a 34-year-old Harley Street GP, took his own life on 30 July, just days after he came out to his Muslim mother after years of secrecy.

Speaking to PinkNews, Matthew Ogston – Dr Mahmood’s fiancé – spoke about the Naz and Matt Foundation – which will support people struggling with religion and sexuality.

Paying tribute to his partner of 13 years, he said: “Naz was a very successful individual, he had a very good career. He was an example in society of an upstanding member of the community.

“We just strived to be good people, doing good things in life – everything Naz did was about seeing the happiness in other people.

“His clinic was about making people happy. His career as a GP was very much the same thing – helping people to find medical answers to problems they were experiencing themselves.

“With the Naz and Matt Foundation, I’d like to continue that, to provide a support network and place to go for individuals struggling with their sexuality, and trying to come out.

“It’s one of the hardest things for people from religious backgrounds to overcome if they aren’t going to find acceptance in their community.

“The Naz and Matt Foundation is not particularly aimed at any religion. It’s aimed at communities that are very closed in their perception. There’s a lack of understanding.

“They need to realise that we are still the beautiful children they gave birth to – and they need to accept us for who they are.”

Mr Ogston has big plans to engage with gay people, their family and friends in religious communities – and is even planning to release an illustrated children’s book that advocates a tolerant, accepting message.

He said: “It’s using animals as metaphors for real life…. We need to start winning the hearts and minds of people, and the best way to do that is to get the message across early.”

Of stories in the press about Mr Mahmood’s death, he said: “There’s a lot in the media about a reaction to this, but it’s about starting an open dialogue.

“Police involvement, policy from government – I don’t see how that could help. It’s about speaking to people on a grassroots level.”

Mr Ogston also opened up about the inquest last week, where the coroner said: “It seems desperately sad that in 2014 a person should feel that they can’t be accepted because of the way that they live and I can only feel the deepest sympathy for Nazim that he felt so sad and desperate about this that he took his life.”

He told PinkNews: “The answer that the coroner gave was an answer that I have to accept.”

“It was good to see that someone outside of our situation could see the real issues for what they were. It’s not a ‘win’… it’s just a way to understand our situation. We just dealt with the issues we were given in our life.

He said previously: “When [Naz] asked ‘why do I need to find a cure, there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just a good person trying to live a good life’, that must have created such a sadness within Naz.

“I only wish I’d had longer to have spoken to Naz, to try and talk things through and just tell him it would be okay.”

Visit the Naz and Matt Foundation website at www.nazandmattfoundation.org

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article and need to talk to someone, visit samaritans.org or call 08457 90 90 90.

More: cure, doctor, England, Gay, GP, London, London, Muslim, suicide

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