Christian mum writes ‘family friendly’ Harry Potter, where Dumbledore is straight
A Christian mother is writing a ‘family friendly’ version of Harry Potter – in which gay headmaster Albus Dumbledore is actually a straight reverend.
The story ‘Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles’ is currently 8000 words long, and was written by evangelical mother Grace Ann, who took it upon herself to remove all references to witchcraft, homosexuality and liberal values.
In the new version of the story, Lord Voldemort is known for persecuting Christians, while Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon ‘mistreat’ Harry by forcing him to listen to Richard Dawkins.
It also recasts Albus Dumbledore – the gay headmaster of Hogwarts who had a romance with Gellert Grindelwald in the original novels – as ‘Reverend Dumbledore’, who is married to and has a child with Professor Minerva McGonagall.
Read an extract below:
A tall, thin man with a long, pointed beard and big, wire spectacles stood in front of Harry. He was wearing a brown, tweed suit and a nice, matching hat. His shoes were made of leather and polished until they shone. He had a smile much like Hagrid’s smile. So peaceful, Harry just knew he could trust him! A lovely, kindly young woman with flowing blonde hair and a pleasant, heart-shaped face stood beside this holy man.
“Hello, there, little one,” the man greeted amicably. ‘I am the Reverend Albus Dumbledore, and this is my wife, Minerva. Welcome to Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles!’
“Pleased to meet you, Reverend Dumbledore,” Harry replied enthusiastically; and got to his feet. “This sure is a beautiful place you have here!”
The Reverend beamed. “Why thank you, little one!” His voice had a distinctive southern twang to it that made Harry feel so safe and welcome. He knew in that moment that the Reverend was a man of God
Though some believe the story is satire, the author said: “My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I’m happy for them to be reading; but I don’t want them turning into witches!
“So I thought, why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly? So they can have all the adventure and good morals of the Harry Potter books without all that bad stuff bogging it down.
“Of course, there were some hateful messages that made me very sad, but for every review posted by an Evolutionist with a bee in his bonnet, there were three lovely private messages from other mommies out there, thanking me for doing the Lord’s work.”