School outs gay couple: the week in review

Dylan Vox May 2, 2008
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This gay week, teen queen Miley Cyrus sheds her inhibitions and then regrets it; the Greek Isle of Lesbos hates lesbians; Harvey Fierstein refuses to play gay for Adam Sandler; a Memphis school board gets in trouble for outing a gay couple; Janet Jackson is honoured with a GLAAD award; gay escort murderers Joseph Kerekes and Harlow Cuadra get sued and As the World Turns defends gay kiss between Luke and Noah.


There once was a trivial pursuit question that asked what kind of people come from Lesbos?

The answer is lesbians, of course. This week, however, some on the small Greek providence is trying to put an end to that with what is perhaps one of the silliest lawsuits ever conceived.

Lesbos residents are claiming that the gay connotation of the word “lesbian” has been a “psychological and moral rape” to the people of the country.


Publisher Dimitris Lambrou, along with two other claimants from the tiny island, filed a suit that stated that the international dominance of the word in its sexual context “violates the human rights of the islanders, and disgraces them around the world.”


They are seeking an injunction from anyone using the word unless they are referring to those who hail from the Lesbos.


The term “lesbian” originated from the famous gay poet Sappho, who was a native of Lesbos during the 7th Century BC. Lambrou, however, is saying that he has historical proof that Sappho was in fact straight despite her homoerotic poetry.


Next month, Holland will file a similar suit, which will only allow the word “dyke” to be used when referring to an embankment of earth and rock built to prevent floods. Imagine that on the back of a biker jacket at a gay pride parade.

Harvey Fierstein is gay. I know there are probably two people in Boise, Idaho throwing up their hands wondering what the world has come to, but the simple fact that he is gay does not mean that he would lower himself to performing in an Adam Sandler movie.

This week, the four-time Tony Award-winning actor, playwright and singer, was approached by the overrated comedian and asked to play a gay caricature in an upcoming film.

The Hairspray star turned down the role, telling the Associated Press, “I think I have more life in me than being a side gag in an Adam Sandler movie.”

Now if everyone else that was ever asked to star in an Adam Sandler film would follow suit then maybe would never have to see another Little Nicky 

In Memphis, Tennessee, the ACLU has threatened legal action against Hollis F. Price Middle College High School after the staff unnecessarily outed two students.

In an effort to crack down on public displays of affection, the school’s administrative staff circulated a list of dating couples, and boyfriends Nicholas and Andrew were among those listed.

The two boys have said that the public outing was almost like a “witch-hunt”, and that they had been verbally and physically harassed ever since the list was released.

School Principal Daphne Beasley also contacted the students’ parents and stated that she would not tolerate homosexuality in the school and wanted the parents to be aware of their sons’ sexual proclivities.

Beasley informed Nicholas’ mother that her son was gay. The student’s mother, who was supportive of her child, was appalled by the principal’s behavior and called in the American Civil Liberties Union to seek damages for harassment and invasion of privacy.

The ACLU is now mandating new policies from the school system, compensation for the two young men, action against their principal and an apology.

Now, you and I both know that Beasley is just pissed because she’s not getting any.

Last year, former escorts and amateur porn producers Harlow Caudra and Joseph Kerekes were arrested and charged for the brutal murder of Cobra Video Porn producer Bryan Kocis.

The two men allegedly ambushed Kocis by posing as wannabe porn stars and slit his throat, stabbed him over 30 times, nearly severing his head, and burned his house to the ground to cover up the incident.

This week, the father of the victim, Michael Kocis, won a default judgment against the two boys after they refused to respond to a civil suit. Since the two men are reportedly being tried as indigent defendants, the Kocis estate will lay claim to their previously seized assets.

So far the only motive being offered for the brutal slaying is over the rights to use porn star Brent Corrigan in their videos. The men will stand trial in late September.

Janet Jackson has been a gay icon ever since she burst onto the scene, and this week, GLAAD honoured her work in the gay community at the 19th annual award ceremony.

Host Ellen Degeneres presented Jackson with the Vangaurd Award that recognises a member of the entertainment community who has made a significant difference in promoting equal rights for LGBT people.

Upon receiving her award, Jackson stated, “I love it. I never expected it in a million years, so when I heard they wanted to honour me, I was really taken aback.

“It’s just for the work that I’ve done with AIDS and acknowledging the gay and lesbian community through my music and so on. I’m just very appreciative.”

Unfortunately no one could actually hear her acceptance speech since Jackson as of late can barely speak above a whisper.

Following the much-anticipated kiss between gay characters Luke (Van Hansis), and Noah (Jake Silbermann) on the CBS soap opera As the World Turns, The American Family Association launched a formal attack on the Proctor and Gamble Co. who are responsible for the show.

AFA founder Donald Wildmon, called the open-mouth homosexual kiss “repulsive”, and ordered his followers to write complaints to the company and to consider a boycott of P&G products. In his email, he also included a link to the steamy kiss just in case any one happened to miss the scene.

A P&G spokeswoman responded in a statement, saying, “ATWT has been telling the story of Luke as a gay character on the show for two years now, which has included effects on his relationships with family and friends.

“As well, Luke’s romance with Noah is a natural part of telling his story which has evolved in recent months.”

Since the couple was introduced, ATWT has garnered a huge spike in Nielsen ratings and is currently one of the top watched soap operas on television, once again proving that gay people are hot.

Poor Miley Cyrus. The overly-wealthy country bumpkin daughter of music superstar Billy Ray and the alternate ego of the oddly popular hit show Hanna Montana, just can’t seem to get a break.

This week the 15-year-old actress/singer was photographed wearing just a sheet for the June issue of Vanity Fair by acclaimed photographer Annie Leibovitz.

Upon seeing the semi provocative images, Miley told the press, “I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be ‘artistic’ and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed.”

Cyrus was happy with the photo shot until the Disney Channel began receiving complaints that the spread violated her until now squeaky-clean image.

Although her parents were present at the shoot, Miley and company are suggesting that she was “manipulated” into an uncomfortable position and now regrets the decision to do the shoot at all.

Other celebs like Madonna, Hillary Duff and Rosie O’Donnell have rushed to the teen star’s defence, suggesting that the whole situation has been completely blown out of proportion.

Cheer up Miley; I hear Britney Spears has an extra bed in the teenage slut wing of her loony bin. Just Kidding.

© 2008; All Rights Reserved.


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