Comments on: Police offficer cautioned in cruising crackdown

By: stuart

stuart — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 08:00:38 +0000

Im a gay bloke and far far from being a prude. But why do some gay men think they have the right to subject others to thier sexual activities by doing it in public toilets? and why do they think they need to be warned when the police are (quite correctly) trying to put a stop to it? It is not necessary in the modern age of pubs/clubs/internet. i was on my way to work through a park in North London (famous for cruising) with two litle kids and a mother about a minute behind me, when a naked bloke stepped onto the path masturbating at me to try to get me to go with him into the undergrowth. How can that be right??? I find all this type of behaviour shockingly selfish. It about time some gay men grew up and considered all people, not just thier own need for immediate gratification. If you need to do do this kind of thing, fair enough, but do it somewehere away from the general public or at a time when they wont be there.

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By: Robert, ex-pat Brit

Robert, ex-pat Brit — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 13:41:00 +0000

Andy, I concede. I am probably speaking from what I see going on in American society, even though I personally find public toilet cruising distasteful and unnecessary. The problem in the States is the conservative party (republicans) uses this kind of behavior to justify discrimination, among many other things. I also conceded that this kind of behaviour should not be punishable by jail time and that such things do not belong in a court room either. A warning would I agree be sufficient. There is a double standard, definitely. If straights engaged in similar activity, I doubt if that would be of interest to the police.

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By: Andy

Andy — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 11:55:00 +0000

Hi Robert, I think you and i probably agree on quite a few things really! But i think you hit the nail on the head when you said that the idea of meeting in a "smelly" public toilet was "distateful" to YOU. It's distateful to ME too, and a lot of people, but not to all gay/bi men…and i think ultimately it's a matter of taste, rather than "public morality" My bottom line is who are they hurting? And no i don't believe that an "innocent" straight man or young person accidently stumbling on men exposed their privates in a public loo will be scarred for life! more like temporarily embarrassed which is hardly a reason for police prosecution, though a caution /fine for repeated offence wouldn't bother me. I do think you worry a bit too much about what already bigotted conservative straight people think of gay men. I think that's partly to do with the years you've spent in the states( no offence). Straight people who think gay men are all sleazy seedy sex obsessives will, you're right, have their prejudices confirmed by this kind of behaviour, but most straight people who aren't intrinsically prejudiced will see this for what it is….a "distateful" aspect of some gay mens sex lives…like "dogging" for straights…not a slur on the wider gay community….What annoys me, is that this kind of police behaviour is a throw back to anti gay policing from years ago in the UK..or indeed presnt day US police policy …How often i wonder do police officers hang around in remote laybys and car parks to prosecute straight people having alfresco "dogging" parties…NEVER, that i've heard of…that's homophobia!

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By: Robert, ex-pat Brit

Robert, ex-pat Brit — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 18:22:00 +0000

Andy, point taken. In the context of these arrests, this was in a large urban city of Liverpool where there is more than enough access for men to meet others rather than use a public toilet. Having said that, living in a remote area, I would still find it distasteful to solicit in a public toilet. With the proliferation of access to the internet, I'd rather meet someone from online than take a chance on public humiliation in a supposedly smelly toilet. I didn't say things weren't all bad in the UK either, far from it compared to some societies. What I meant was homophobia, bullying, exacerbated by public acts of lewd behavior in toilets. It feeds homophobia and the public's perception of who we are and how we conduct ourselves in public.

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By: Andy

Andy — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 17:47:00 +0000

Robert, i don't condone soliciting either in public toilets or other public places but the reasons why some men do it are many:- If you live in a provincial town/city where the bars are only open from 7-11 and you feel horny in the afternoon. If you don't have 15 pounds to go to a gay sauna or live where they aren't open 24 hours. If you don't identify as "gay" as many bi/married men don't and wouldn't feel comfortable entering let alone cruising in a gay bar. If you live with your parents/wife/girlfriend/straight flat mates and couldn't bring a man home for the night. If you don't want a man for the night but just for the 5/10/15 minutes that it takes. All of these and many others are reasons WHY some men solicit in public toilets. What i don't understand is where the moral outrage about it comes from ( i don't necessarily mean yours…)It's not my thing and i don't feel particularly comfortable when i enter a public toilet and see from the eye contact/lingering that guys are cruising but it's not a big deal…certainly not big enough for the police to worry about. Where i Do disagree with you as always! is where you say "as if things weren't bad enough already" Basically things are pretty damn good in this country, and a minority of gay men soliciting in toilets isn't going to change that! As for deserving "all they get" No they don't…. they deserve a caution, at most an on the spot fine. Cruising in public places is not pretty but i'd hardly call it "criminal" not when 24 teenagers have been murdered by other teenagers so far this year in England as often the police need to sort out their priorities

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By: Robert, ex-pat Brit

Robert, ex-pat Brit — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 16:34:00 +0000

In this day and age, why oh why do gay men have to solicit in public toilets or any other public place? Talk about giving us a bad name if things aren't bad enough already without adding fuel to the fire of hatred and intolerance. I have no sympathy for any arrested. They should not have been there in the first place. They deserve what they get.

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