Ask the Expert: ‘I bought the wedding party clothes; do I need to get gifts, too?’

Stumped on when to send out your STDs (save-the-date announcements)? Don’t know who should be invited to your rehearsal dinner? Get the answers to all your wedding etiquette questions by submitting your dilemma to etiquette@equallywed.com

My fiancé and I are getting married in a few weeks. I’m Indian, and we wanted Indian clothes for the ceremony. I went to India with my mom this past winter, and we purchased clothes for all our attendants for the ceremony. Do we still need to get our wedding party gifts, especially those who haven’t really been involved much?

I think it’s both beautiful and meaningful that you and your mother traveled to India together and purchased your wedding party’s attire there. What a personal touch to the day. I’m certain your attendants will be very touched that they don’t have to pay for the clothing, too.

However, it doesn’t save you from giving them a small token of your appreciation, because you are giving them something they are required to wear, albeit gorgeous handmade clothes from India.

You don’t have to spend a lot on the wedding party gifts—especially for the people who haven’t been very involved. But these friends and family members are sacrificing their time for you, and etiquette dictates that you give them a thank you gift that doesn’t have anything to do with the wedding (which is why the clothing isn’t enough).

That gift doesn’t have to cost much, if anything. It could be a framed photo of you and/or your fiancé with each person or something you’ve made, such as a small painting, a poem about friendship in your own handwriting on nice paper or a potted plant. The message of the gift is more important than the dollar value, and it should say, “I appreciate you in my life and for standing up for me on my wedding day.”

Kirsten Palladino is the editor in chief of Equally Wed, the nation’s premier same-sex wedding magazine, online at www.equallywed.com. Equally Wed offers gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer couples an extensive, trustworthy and fashionable guide of inspiration, ideas and trends for planning their engagements, weddings and honeymoons, as well as their happily ever after. The photo-rich site is home to Equally Wed’s Local Resources, a veritable marketplace of vetted LGBT-friendly wedding vendors across the United States and abroad. It also offers an interactive social community to talk to other readers about all things wedding, as well as the latest news from the frontlines of the fight for marriage equality. Follow Equally Wed on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/equallywed.

Ask the Expert: ‘Do I buy my boyfriend an engagement ring?’

Q I’m planning on proposing to my boyfriend, and I’m wondering how other men propose to one another? An engagement ring is really for females since they can wear an engagement and wedding ring. While I realize there are no rules, a man with two wedding bands just doesn’t make sense to me. Plus, I’d rather purchase rings together (most likely matching) with my partner when we are ready to wed. So what does one propose with? Another ring? A watch? I can’t seem to find anything about this online…

A gay marriage is all about embracing who you are and who you love, which means that you should do what makes sense for you, and if that’s wearing an engagement ring, a wedding band and stackable anniversary bands up to your fingernail, then by all means, feel free.

But to give you a proper answer from a man’s point of view, we deferred to a groom who’s recently been in your situation, Steve Schessler, who makes up half of one our Real Weddings couples in our Spring issue of Equally Wed magazine. Read about his and Jonathan’s wedding here [2].

[3]

Schessler says, “For our part, I bought an engagement ring for Jonathan after some months of sideways questioning, ‘So do you like something like this?’ or ‘Do you remember your ring size?’ Not so indirect, but he somehow still wasn’t thinking the proposal was on the horizon, and coming closer. In the end, the main stipulations were no stones, simple design and a fairly thin band. I found the perfect one at Cartier, from their ‘Love’ series.

“After the proposal, Jonathan decided he wanted to get an engagement ring for me as well, so we went back to Cartier and found a complementary ring from the same collection, but bigger for my larger hands.

“At our wedding in Atlanta, we exchanged these same rings, and had planned to go without a band. We then were invited to participate in a No on Prop 8 fundraiser in San Francisco, where we’d already moved, for our legal California ceremony. As part of that event at the Bently Reserve, Shreve & Co. donated two bands of our choosing—and we now wear both our original engagement bands and the very thin Furrer Jacot rose-gold bands from the legal ceremony.

“We have some friends who used engagement rings (with both guys always getting one eventually) and then exchanged them at their wedding as well, while we know a few other couples, who did both engagement rings and wedding bands. The biggest difference, I think, is that both of the guys have the same number of rings—either one, if they re-exchange, or two, if they add bands.”

Kirsten Palladino is Editor in Chief of Equally Wed, the nation’s premier same-sex wedding magazine, online at www.equallywed.com [4]. Equally Wed offers gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender couples an extensive, trustworthy and fashionable guide of inspiration, ideas and trends for planning their engagements, weddings and honeymoons, as well as their happily ever after. The photo-rich site is home to Equally Wed’s Local Resources, a veritable marketplace of vetted GLBT-friendly wedding vendors across the United States and abroad. It also offers an interactive social community to talk to other readers about all things wedding, as well as the latest news from the frontlines of the fight for marriage equality. Follow Kirsten on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/equallywedeic [5].

[1] http://www.365gay.commailto:etiquette@equallywed.com
[2] http://equallywed.com/real-weddings-main/real-weddings-jonathan-and-steve.html
[3] http://www.365gay.com/wp-content/uploads/news-marriage-men-rings-wedding-top.jpg
[4] http://www.equallywed.com
[5] http://www.twitter.com/equallywedeic

Ask the Expert: Should I invite anti-gay relatives to my wedding?

I have relatives who have made it clear they’re uncomfortable with me being gay. But I’m still unsure if I should invite them to my wedding. Am I being the bigger person if I send an invite? I don’t want to get my feelings hurt.

Unfortunately, being related to someone doesn’t guarantee fair treatment of gays, lesbians, bisexuals or transgender people. And as sad as that is, we’re probably all used to it on some level or another and are constantly working to heal those wounds.

Your wedding is your day to celebrate your love and commitment to each other with your family and friends—the ones who love you and believe in your love. So why would you want to invite anyone who wouldn’t allow themselves to feel the love?

If you want to reach out to them to see how they’d feel or behave at your wedding, give them a call and talk to them about your feelings and hesitation. And if that’s a bit much for your taste, send them a wedding announcement after the big day.

It requires no response, but lets them know you’ve taken the leap with your—gasp—gay lover.

Kirsten Palladino is Editor in Chief of Equally Wed, the nation’s premier same-sex wedding magazine, online at www.equallywed.com [2]. Equally Wed offers gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender couples an extensive, trustworthy and fashionable guide of inspiration, ideas and trends for planning their engagements, weddings and honeymoons, as well as their happily ever after. The photo-rich site is home to Equally Wed’s Local Resources, a veritable marketplace of vetted GLBT-friendly wedding vendors across the United States and abroad. It also offers an interactive social community to talk to other readers about all things wedding, as well as the latest news from the frontlines of the fight for marriage equality

[1] http://www.365gay.commailto:etiquette@equallywed.com
[2] http://www.equallywed.com/

World Television Premiere Event: The Film ‘Pedro’ Airs on MTV, MTV Tr3s, mtvU & LOGO on Wednesday, April 1 at 8:00 PM ET/PT

Introduced by President Bill Clinton, BMP Films and MTV Bring Academy Award-Winner Dustin Lance Black’s (“Milk”) Story of The Real World’s Pedro Zamora To Life

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — MTV, mtvU, LOGO and MTV Tr3s, with subtitles in Spanish, will present the world television premiere of Pedro, a movie based on the remarkable life of The Real World’s Pedro Zamora, on Wednesday, April 1 at 8:00 PM ET/PT. BMP Films, in association with MTV, produced this biopic written by Academy Award-winner Dustin Lance Black (“Milk”). For more information and to view the movie trailer, please visit www.pedro.mtv.com.

In 1994, Zamora captured the hearts of millions as the first-ever openly gay, HIV-positive main character on TV — on MTV’s The Real World: San Francisco. Zamora’s time in the house on Lombard Street brought a face to the AIDS crisis. President Bill Clinton has long credited Zamora with personalizing and humanizing the epidemic, and he will introduce Pedro when it makes its world television premiere April 1st.

“To this day, Pedro Zamora remains an extraordinary example of what a huge impact one young person can make in our world,” President Clinton said. “I’m glad to have known him, and I’m grateful his life has been able to inspire and enrich so many others.”

Told through the eyes of his friends and family, the film Pedro celebrates the extraordinary life a young man who found out he was HIV positive at 17, then made the courageous decision to dedicate his life to speaking out about the disease. Zamora testified before the United States Congress to argue for more explicit HIV/AIDS educational programs aimed at youth of color before auditioning for The Real World in 1993.

Zamora’s appearance on The Real World brought his story and message to a national audience; and when his health began to deteriorate in late 1994 (after he left the show), his condition quickly became front page news nationwide. His death at age 22, following the final episode of “The Real World,” provoked a worldwide outpouring of grief.

“Our historic, simultaneous premiere of the film across multiple networks demonstrates the power of Pedro’s journey to reach a vast array of audiences, just as it did 15 years ago,” said Brian Graden, President of Entertainment, MTV Networks Music Channels and President of Logo. “His story originally ignited a national dialogue, permanently impacted our consciousness around the challenges of HIV, and gave untold millions the courage to open up about their sexual orientation. For those of us who remember him as a treasured television friend, and for a new generation coming to his story for the first time, we remain grateful for the gift of his story.”

“Pedro made us promise to tell his story to his very last breath; this film delivers on that promise by telling his entire life story in a scripted film – including his early life in Cuba, his teen years in Miami and the final months of his life as he fought to stay alive,” said BMP Films President, Jon Murray. “For the first time viewers will see all the forces that made Pedro the man he was and gave him the courage to take his message of AIDS education to a nationwide audience.”

Nearly 15 years since Pedro heightened national awareness of HIV/AIDS, the epidemic in the U.S. remains a serious concern, especially among younger Americans (under 30) who account for a larger share of new infections than any other age group. Other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) – such as chlamydia and gonorrhea – are even more common, with one in two sexually active Americans being infected by age 25 – and most not knowing it. Since 1997, MTV and the Kaiser Family Foundation have partnered to inform millions of young adults about HIV, other STDs and related sexual health issues. Beginning in April (STD Awareness Month), MTV and Kaiser will partner with Planned Parenthood Federation of America and its nearly 880 affiliate health centers to make an aggressive push to inform America’s young people about STDs, as well as help normalize and drive increased testing. Full details on the rest of the campaign will be unveiled soon.

Planned Parenthood is also developing an educational discussion guide for teens, young adults, and parents to use when they watch the Pedro premiere on MTV. It will be available for download on MTV’s www.ItsYourSexLife.com and on Planned Parenthood’s website at www.plannedparenthood.org.

Pedro was Produced by Richard Glatzer and Wash Westmoreland, Chris Panizzon and Anne Clements (“Quinceanera”). Jon Murray, Gil Goldschein and Scott Freeman of Bunim-Murray Productions served as Executive Producers along with Paris Barclay. Pedro was directed by Nick Oceano and written by Dustin Lance Black (“Milk”) with story by Paris Barclay and Dustin Lance Black. Pedro stars Alex Loynaz as Pedro, Justina Machado (“Six Feet Under”) as Pedro’s sister Mily, and Hale Appleman (“Teeth”) as Pedro’s roommate from The Real World, Judd. Maggie Malina is executive producer for MTV.

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Original source : http://gay_blog.blogspot.com/2009/03/world-televis…

Increase in reported STDs

(Atlanta, Georgia) Sexually spread diseases – for years on the decline – are on the rise, with reported chlamydia cases setting a record, government health officials said Tuesday.

The increase in chlamydia, a sometimes symptomless infection that can lead to infertility in women, is likely because of better screening, experts said. …