Cardinal: Catholic schools welcome kids of gays – but priest made OK call
(Boston) Boston Cardinal Sean O’Malley on Wednesday defended a priest who denied admission to a parish school to a gay couple’s child, calling it a pastoral decision and saying the priest had his “full confidence and support.”
O’Malley’s comments on his blog were his first public remarks about the decision earlier this month by St. Paul Elementary School in Hingham to rescind the boy’s acceptance because his parents are lesbians.
A parent of the boy said the Rev. James Rafferty, the parish priest at St. Paul’s, said her relationship was “in discord” with church teachings, which sees marriage as only between a man and a woman. She said the principal told her teachers wouldn’t be prepared to handle the boy’s questions when he realized the church’s view of family conflicted with what he saw at home. The parent spoke to The Associated Press but asked not to be named to protect the welfare of the child.
The decision prompted calls for O’Malley to intervene. The Catholic Schools Foundation, which O’Malley chairs, said the decision was at odds with Gospel teaching, and it wouldn’t fund schools that made similar decisions.
The archdiocese’s head of education later called the parent, apologized and offered to help the 8-year-old enroll in another Catholic school.
O’Malley said Rafferty had come under “undue criticism” for the decision.
“He made a decision about the admission of the child to St. Paul School based on his pastoral concern for the child,” O’Malley wrote. “I can attest personally that Father Rafferty would never exclude a child to sanction the child’s parents.”
The archdiocese said it is creating a policy to clarify its schools don’t bar children with same-sex parents.
“It is true that we welcome people from all walks of life,” O’Malley wrote. “But we recognize that, regardless of the circumstances involved, we maintain our responsibility to teach the truths of our faith, including those concerning sexual morality and marriage.”
O’Malley began his post with a recollection about meeting the young daughter of a murdered woman who had run a brothel while he was bishop in the West Indies. He said the woman’s daughter had left public school because she was being badly taunted, and he immediately directed that the girl be admitted to the local Catholic school.
“Catholic schools exist for the good of the children and our admission standards must reflect that,” he wrote. “We have never had categories of people who were excluded.”
The Hingham case was similar to a situation in Boulder, Colo., in which a Catholic school said two children of lesbian parents could not re-enroll because of their parents’ sexual orientation, and the Denver Archdiocese backed the decision.
“It is clear that all of their school policies (in Denver) are intended to foster the welfare of the children and fidelity to the mission of the Church,” O’Malley wrote. “Their positions and rationale must be seriously considered.”
State rep.: Shame on school for withdrawing kid of lesbian parents
Massachusetts state representative Garrett J. Bradley, a Democrat who grew up in the same parish as the Catholic school who forced an 8-year-old to withdraw because he has lesbian parents [1] had this to say to the Boston Globe:
“These parents thought enough of St. Paul’s to want to send their child there; St. Paul’s thought enough of their child to admit him. For the school to then discriminate against him and withdraw his acceptance because of his parents’ sexual orientation is not only inappropriate, but mind-blowing. Shame on St. Paul’s, and shame on us as a community if we allow it.’”
Beautiful.
Read the Boston Globe [2] article for more local reaction.
[1] http://www.365gay.com/news/mass-archdiocese-to-help-find-school-for-son-of-lesbians/
[2] http://www.boston.com/news/education/k_12/articles/2010/05/13/students_exclusion_draws_denial/
Catholic lesbian parents speak out about preschool
We’ve written about the two small kids who were kicked out of a Catholic school [1]by the Archbishop of Denver [2]because their parents are lesbians.
Now the parents are speaking out in their own words.
Here’s a statement from the parents released anonymously through Boulder Pride; it’s long, but worth reading.
The following is a message from the parents of two children being denied re-enrollment at Sacred Heart of Jesus School
We are normal people. We have two children, a nice house, and a dog. We both hold professional jobs in the community.
You would likely pass us on the street and not take much notice.
We work hard, and enjoy spending time with our family, traveling, and being outdoors. What makes us different is that we are a lesbian couple. We are not activists by nature. You have never seen us at protests or marching in parades. Up until this point, we have taken the typical passive approach of voting for candidates that represent our viewpoints and directing our charitable donations to
organizations whose missions we support. We live in a liberal community, where we have always felt safe, comfortable, and accepted.
Certainly over the years there have been times when our sexuality has been an issue, but they have been relatively minor. We had to hire a lawyer to ensure both of our names were on our children’s birth certificates, to protect our rights to inherit each others assets, and establish medical durable power of attorney.
Luckily, we had the financial means to pay the thousands of dollars to do all of this. In the years that we have been in Colorado, laws have since been changed to protect some of these basic rights. We file our taxes as single. We filled out our census as ‘unmarried partners living together’ since we are not able to legally marry. Upon returning from vacation, US Customs would not process us together because we ‘did not qualify as a family’.
These are things that gay and lesbian people deal with every day.
Recently, we found ourselves in the middle of a political firestorm. We went to enroll our oldest child in kindergarten at Sacred Heart of Jesus School, and were told that our children would not be welcome to continue their education there long term because of our sexual orientation.
This came as a shock to us because our children had been attending preschool at Sacred Heart for three years. We had been open about our family situation from the start, and had always felt welcomed by parents and teachers. The past weeks have been very difficult for our family. We were initially very hurt and angry.
We met with school and church administrators to discuss the situation. We were told that families and students need to uphold church doctrine in order for children to be admitted. We were also told that our children would feel uncomfortable when taught about the “family unit”, and teachers might feel too intimidated by their presence to teach church beliefs.
Our answer to this is that there are many families that do not live their lives according to church doctrine. There are divorced parents, children of parents born out of wedlock, non-Catholics, and non-practicing Catholics. Their eligibility has not been questioned. There seems to be a subjective rating system of which sins are more unacceptable.
Regarding the school’s teaching about the ‘family unit’, we are unconcerned. Our children know that their family is different than most. They are well aware that many families have a mom and a dad, and we discuss different family models openly. We have a good understanding of the church’s position on gay and lesbian people. We have never sought approval from the church of our relationship and we would never ask that the school modify its teachings to accommodate our family. We are not threatened by our children hearing different points of view on any issues.
Next page: It is wrong to punish a child for who it’s parents are
[1] http://www.365gay.com/news/catholic-preschool-wont-let-student-return-because-of-lesbian-parents/
[2] http://www.365gay.com/news/archbishop-defends-decision-on-lesbians-children/
Catholic preschool won’t let student return because of lesbian parents
A Catholic preschool in Boulder, Colo., will not be getting an “A” for Acceptance after telling a lesbian couple their child is not allowed to return to the school next year.
Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School decided a student would not be allowed to enroll as a result of the …
‘Come Out’ Album’s Message: God Loves You Just as Gay as You Are
LOS ANGELES, CA — Gospel singer and an out lesbian member of clergy in the Gospel Truth Music Ministry (http://www.rizigospel.com/), the Rev. Rizi Nasele Timane’ is unveiling her new album “Come Out,” a collection of original songs that call for full human rights for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. As part of the album’s promotion, Timane’ is touring the United States during the summer of 2009.
The album’s title song challenges the fundamentalist notion that God and the Bible condemn homosexuality and strives to educate the public about what the Bible really says and does not say about homosexuality. “I have extensively studied the Greek and Hebrew translations of the Bible, and I found that, when interpreted properly, the Bible does not condemn homosexuality at all,” stated Timane’.
“I’m the first out lesbian reverend and gospel singer from Nigeria, West Africa,” Timane’ continued. “I was one of the first people to identify as openly gay in homophobic Africa, and I know firsthand how that rejection translates to drug addiction and suicide.” According to the Massachusetts 2006 Youth Risk Survey, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth are up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. Additionally, San Francisco State University’s Chavez Center Institute has found that LGBTQ youth who come from a rejecting family are up to nine times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers because of the negative treatment endured.
“For LGBT persons, this painful struggle with religion or spirituality and sexuality is responsible for depression, low self-esteem, drug addiction, self-abuse, isolation and the entering into of false heterosexual marriages,” said Timane’. “Worst of all, it’s responsible for thousands of suicides each year in the LGBT community, especially amongst our teens and young adults. It is my hope to put a stop to these negative traits and suicides by re-educating our community.”
“Anti-LGBT arguments like the one contending that California’s Proposition 8 ensures children’s wellbeing by providing them with a mother and father are totally absurd. In the case of Proposition 8, the state’s laws permit adoption by gay and lesbian parents as well as single parents and even allows courts to assign a single grandparent, aunt, uncle or even a non-blood relative to be a child’s guardian or caregiver,” continued Timane’.
“The goal of my new album is to enable any LGBT person seeking God to know that God loves them just as gay as they are,” states Timane’. She also wants to help those who are struggling with their spirituality and sexuality, just as she did for many years, to finally find complete reconciliation and affirmation.
Gospel music lovers and Timane’ fans will be able to attend live performances at the following times and events:
– June 20 at 2:50 p.m., Rhode Island PrideFest in Station Park
– June 27 at 3 p.m. and June 28 at 12:30 p.m., San Francisco Pride Celebration in Civic Center Plaza
– July 9 at 7:30 p.m., Annual Fellowship Convention in Westin Atlanta Airport hotel
– July 18 at 2 p.m., San Diego Gay Pride 2009 in Balboa Park
To learn more about Timane’ and her experiences as a gay Christian that inspired her music, visit http://www.rizigospel.com/.
“Come Out” video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rfre1lV61Es
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NYC to recognize lesbian parents
(New York City) Legally married lesbian couples will now have both names on the birth certificates of their children.
The city Board of Health voted Tuesday to make the change.
Last May Gov. Paterson issued an executive order recognizing the marriages of New York gay and lesbian couples who had gone outside …
Professional groups back gay marriage BurlingtonFreePress.com
Same-sex marriage rights got an endorsement Monday from four Vermont professional organizations who cited research findings that “children of lesbian and gay parents are as likely as those of heterosexual parents to flourish.”
They also said gay and lesbian parents are as likely as their heterosexual counterparts to provide healthy environments for children and that “there is no credible scientific evidence” relating parenting effectiveness to sexual orientation.
Their statement, which comes as the Vermont legislature prepares to consider same-sex marriage legislation, was released at a news conference called by the Vermont Psychological Association, the Vermont Psychiatric Association, the Vermont Association of Mental Health Counselors and the Vermont chapter of the National Association of Social Workers.
Speaking on the organizations’ behalf, Jackie Weinstock, an associate professor in the department of integrated professional studies at the University of Vermont, said the groups wanted to “set the record straight” by rebutting contentions by gay-marriage opponents that children raised by single-sex parents fare less well than their counterparts in heterosexual families.
“No study has shown that outcomes for children of single-sex families are any less positive than outcomes for children in heterosexual families,” Weinstock said. She said contrary findings sometimes cited by opponents apply in part to children of divorced parents, not exclusively to children of single-sex parents. She acknowledged that national studies of children in same-sex parents have been limited by small research samples. See Professional groups back gay marriage BurlingtonFreePress.com
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Tennessee Court order Bars divorced mom’s Partner of 9 years from Staying Overnight When mom Has Custody And Visitation of children
ACLU Urges Tennessee Appeals Court To protect rights of lesbian mom
NASHVILLE – In a brief filed today, the American Civil Liberties Union is urging a Tennessee appeals court to remove a ban preventing a divorced mom from having her partner of nine years and her own children stay at her home at the same time. The trial court unconstitutionally imposed the so-called “paramour restriction” on the lesbian couple even though the psychologist who performed the custodial evaluation in the case found the partner to be a positive influence in the children’s lives.
“Of course I’m willing to do anything to be able to be with my children, but this is really tearing us apart,” said Angel Chandler. “It’s been a huge emotional and financial drain on our family. It forces us to live apart almost every night, and it is denying my children quality time with a positive role model and person they love.”
Chandler and her former spouse, Joseph Barker, have two children, a daughter, 13, and a son, 15. Since they divorced more than 10 years ago, they have shared custody of the two children over the years. They have both entered into new relationships. Chandler has been with her partner since 1999. Barker remarried approximately 5 years ago.
It was not until May 15, 2008, that the court issued the restriction barring Chandler’s partner from her home any nights her children are with her. It was imposed after Chandler and Barker appeared before the Gibson County Chancery Court to modify their parenting plan. Even though a court-ordered psychological evaluation of all the parties noted that Chandler’s partner was a positive influence on the children, the trial judge imposed the restriction under the erroneous belief that he was required to do so under state law.
The restriction has caused a huge strain on Chandler’s relationship. Right after the order was issued, Chandler’s partner was forced to move back to North Carolina, making it virtually impossible for the couple to spend time together. Eventually they both relocated to North Carolina where they now live in a duplex that allows them to abide by the order. But Chandler had to leave her job and has just recently found suitable employment. The restriction has also been harmful to Chandler’s children, especially her daughter, who enjoyed spending time with her mother’s partner and who looked to her for advice and guidance. Living in the duplex, the couple is also losing rental income they relied on before the court imposed the ban.
“By all accounts, this family was succeeding, having gotten through a divorce and introduced a new parent into the home. But nine years on, a Judge has done his best to destroy all that by imposing this impossible restriction,” said Christine Sun, the Southeast regional senior staff attorney with the ACLU’s Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Project. “We are hopeful that the appeals court will recognize that it is unfair to tear this family apart.”
The brief filed by the ACLU charges that the court was wrong to interpret state law as requiring it to impose the partner ban. The brief points out that while there is no evidence in the record to support the imposition of the restriction, there is ample evidence showing that the children were doing fine the first nine years when there were no restrictions on the children’s contact with the partner. The psychological report concluded that the children had a positive parent-like relationship with the partner and that children who grow up in homes headed by same-sex couples tend to develop normal social relationships. The brief also charges that the restriction is unconstitutional. It unconstitutionally interferes with Chandler’s ability to raise her children as she sees fit, and it places an impossible burden on gay and lesbian parents. The brief notes that unlike straight couples, who have the option of marrying, lesbians and gay men are barred from marrying in the state and would never be able to live with their partners under these restrictions.
“Unfortunately, this case is an all too familiar example of how unfairly lesbian and gay parents are treated in custody and visitation proceedings,” said Hedy Weinberg, Executive Director of the ACLU of Tennessee. “All the children’s health and welfare organization have long recognized that lesbian and gay parents are just as capable of being good parents as straight couples and their children are just as well adjusted. We’re hopeful the Tennessee courts will come to that realization too.”
In addition to Sun, Chandler is being represented by Lucian Pera and Brian Faughnan of Adams and Reese, LLP, Tricia Herzfeld of the ACLU of Tennessee, and Gregory Minton. A copy of the brief filed today in the Court of Appeals of Tennessee, Western Division is available at http://www.aclu.org/lgbt/parenting/38168res20081223.html.
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Judge Removes Child From Lesbian Parents
(Charleston, West Virginia) The West Virginia Supreme Court has agreed to hear a case involving a lesbian couple’s appeal of a lower court ruling that removed a child they had reared from birth because the judge wanted the child placed with a married opposite-sex couple.
Fayette Circuit Judge Paul Blake …
