After the break-up, what about the lake house?

IT was a perfect party — vodka lemonade on a dock overlooking a lake, dozens of close friends, a cool misty night in the country a couple of hours north of New York.

Inside, the house spoke of a passionate interest in style, and of a committed relationship. Silhouettes of the couple who owned the house hung on a wall in the master bedroom; the couple’s nickname — Benford — was spelled out in large letters leaning against a wall in the kitchen.

But the couple, Benjamin Dixon, 31, and Bradford Shellhammer, 33, who had planned the evening as a commitment ceremony, had broken up three months earlier. Still, with airplane tickets purchased by some of the guests, a catering deposit paid and a house they haven’t been able to sell, they figured it made sense to go ahead and have a party anyway.

Their tale of lost love has a familiar arc — love sparks, then blooms; lives intertwine; moments are lost and misunderstandings creep in; eventually the two begin to live as strangers — and an epilogue that has become increasingly familiar as well, as unwanted houses become prisons rather than cocoons.

Rather than being a glossy testament to their taste and their partnership, their house in Stanfordville, in Dutchess County, is now a dead weight that entangles them and makes it impossible to move on. Having bought it and an apartment in Manhattan at the height of the real estate boom (and having made an agreement with a third partner in their lake house property not to sell it until December 2009), they are left with joint custody of two large mortgages. They are also left with two carefully decorated homes filled with one-of-a-kind accessories found on eBay and quirky furnishings by high-end designers like the Dutch collective Droog that are reminders of what came before and, Mr. Dixon said, “big reminders of what was supposed to be.”

See After the break-up, what about the lake house?
New York Times

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A group has filed a complaint against the first openly transgender U.S. mayor, Mayor Stu Rasmussen, for violating the Silverton, Ore. City council’s dress code.

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After allegedly making rude comments about a fellow anchor, gay news anchor Charles Perez was demoted from his position as an evening anchor.

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(San Diego) A judge granted a sentencing delay last Tuesday to a man who assaulted a lesbian musician while she hugged her girlfriend. The lawyer for Vinzen Matthew Williams, 21, sought the delay.

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As of Wednesday, gay couples in St. Paul, Minnesota, can get domestic partnerships. The state capital joined two other cities in that state in approving a resolution that allowed for domestic partnerships

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bout 17 percent of gay men in Chicago are…

bout 17 percent of gay men in Chicago are HIV-positive — and half of them don’t know it.

That’s according to authorititative new estimates from the Chicago Public Health Department.

In particular, black men who have sex with men have double the HIV infection rates of white and Hispanic men, even though they don’t appear to engage in riskier behavior, Chicago health officials said today.

Their report was based on data collected last year from 570 Chicago men in the National HIV Behavioral Surveillance system.

It’s the first time Chicago health officials have used blood-testing to determine HIV infection rates in this high-risk population, said Christopher Brown, assistant commissioner of the health department’s STD, HIV and AIDS division.

Past estimates have relied solely on interviews with gay and bisexual men about their HIV status.

“What we found out pretty much confirms what we’ve known for a while,” Brown said.

See Study: Half of HIV-positive men in Chicago don’t know it

Chicago Sun-Times

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A political fight over the rights of same-sex…

A political fight over the rights of same-sex couples is drawing nearer in Washington State.

Backers of Referendum 71, who want to overturn a new state same-sex partnership law, have made an appointment to file signatures with state elections officials Saturday afternoon.

Saturday is the deadline to collect 120,577 valid voter signatures and qualify for the Nov. 3 state ballot.

Protect Marriage Washington is the primary backer of R-71. Gary Randall of the allied Faith and Freedom Network said by e-mail: “We are gathering and counting signatures. I think we are making good progress.”

Protect Marriage has raised just more than $20,000 for a campaign that so far has been waged mostly through churches. Randall said the group is not anti-gay but pro-marriage. The group wants voters to reject Senate Bill 5688, the “everything but marriage” legislation that passed this year and adds about 250 rights of marriage for registered same-sex partners in Washington.

Defenders of the new state law, who call themselves Washington Families Standing Together, say they are ready to defend the third round of rights lawmakers added since creating the partners registry in 2007.

See Washington State braces for battle over same-sex rights

MiamiHerald.com -

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Ballad of Gay Tony
Rockstar announced tonight that
The Ballad of Gay Tony will (ahem) come out on October 29 for 1600 Microsoft Points ($20). The 360-exclusive downloadable content for Grand Theft Auto 4 will put players in the role of Luis Lopez, underling to nightclub impresario Tony Prince (i.e. “Gay Tony”). This pack contrasts against the grittier The Lost and the Damned by showing night-life glamour rather than rough biker gangs. Rockstar will also release the previously announced “Episodes from Liberty City” retail disc on the same day. It will include both DLC packs on a disc for $39.99, and won’t require the original GTA4 disc to play. Finally, the company released a piece of promo artwork (above) available as a desktop background. Of course, it could always be Gay Tony himself, and Rockstar is further tweaking the absurd levels of homophobia among gamers.

See Rockstar Announces Ballad of Gay Tony to Hit October 29

1UP.com

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IML’s (International Mr. Leather) executive…

IML’s (International Mr. Leather) executive committee has banned vendors at the group’s annual convention from displaying or selling any pornographic photos and videos which portray or promote unprotected sex, also known as barebacking.

A statement released on International Mr. Leather, Inc. letterhead and signed by Chuck Renslow, President of IML, reads as follows: @ IML bans material promoting unsafe sex

ChicagoPride.com

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On Gay Issues, Obama Asks to Be Judged on Vows Kept

WASHINGTON — President Obama defended his policies on gay rights on Monday, telling an audience of gay men and lesbians that he remained committed to overturning the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule and that he expected to be judged “not by promises I’ve made but by the promises that my administration keeps.”

Mr. Obama made his remarks at a reception in the East Room of the White House to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Rebellion, the 1969 uprising that gave rise to the modern gay rights movement. Joined by his wife, Michelle, the president directly addressed criticism from gay and lesbian leaders that he had not been a forceful advocate for them.

“I know that many in this room don’t believe progress has come fast enough, and I understand that,” Mr. Obama said. “It’s not for me to tell you to be patient any more than it was for others to counsel patience to African-Americans who were petitioning for equal rights a half-century ago.

“We’ve been in office six months now. I suspect that by the time this administration is over, I think you guys will have pretty good feelings about the Obama administration.”

Many lesbians and gay men supported Mr. Obama’s election, but their leaders have grown increasingly impatient and critical of him as president.

 See On Gay Issues, Obama Asks to Be Judged on Vows Kept

New York Times -

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