Silent partner’ examines what happens when people ‘don’t tell’

Ben Cartwright has been a passionate advocate for gay rights for 12 years. He is a regular at gay pride marches, has a pod-cast and writes for a gay newspaper in San Diego.

The last thing he expected was to have to put a part of himself back into the closet. But if the military were to find out about his love for a sailor, a man with years of honorable service would face a dishonorable discharge.

One of the rarely discussed effects of the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule is the burden it places on the civilian partners of gay and lesbian service members. When their loved ones go to war, they do not have access to any of the counseling, financial assistance or support networks offered to heterosexual spouses. And if their loved ones die, no one will come knocking at their doors to notify them.

On Thursday, gay veterans and their partners shared their experiences at the local premiere of “Silent Partners,” a 30-minute documentary offering a glimpse into the lives of three gay “military spouses” waiting for their partners to come home.

“This film, I believe, is telling a story we haven’t heard before,” said Lt. Daniel Choi, who introduced the film.

See Silent partner’ examines what happens when people ‘don’t tell’

Los Angeles Times

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A gay marriage poll released by the L.A. Times reveals that a yawning racial chasm exists over the issue. Pollsters found that a substantial majority in a sampling of 1,500 registered voters in Los Angeles — 56 percent — favored legalizing same-sex marriage, while only 37 percent opposed it. However, after parsing the demographics, vivid ethnic demarcations emerge. (See L.A. Weekly reporter Patrick Range McDonald’s extensive coverage of the growing outreach by pro-gay-marriage advocates into both the ethnic and agrarian communities of California.)

Caucasian voters favor legalization by a huge 68 percent margin, with 27 percent opposing it. The breakdown among African Americans is substantially, if not quite completely, reversed: 54 percent oppose gay marriage, with 37 percent supporting it. (Conflicting points of views in the local African American community have been glimpsed on the L.A. Sentinel‘s opinion page, with lesbian commentator Jasmyne A. Cannick for gay marriage and conservative columnist Firpo Carr condemning it.)

Meanwhile, the Times reports that Latinos are evenly split, with 45 percent supporting and 46 opposing same-sex weddings. It is the swing Latino electorate that advocates on both sides will seek to win over in an anticipated 2010 ballot rematch of Proposition 8. See

Poll Finds Racial, Ethnic Divides Over Gay Marriage

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States grant more rights to gay couples

When Maine‘s highest court ruled two years ago that lesbians Marilyn Kirby and Ann Courtney could adopt the two children they had cared for since 2001, the man who has led the state battle against gay marriage for 25 years got a glimpse of the defeat now looming.

“There’s a sense people have — a sense of inevitability — and a tremendous sense of frustration because of the history of the gay-rights fight in Maine,” said Michael Heath, executive director of the Maine Family Policy Council.

He was referring to rights incrementally accorded gay couples that have led to virtual equality between same-sex and heterosexual unions in states where gay marriage remains banned, a growing trend in Maine and elsewhere, experts on both sides of the issue agree.

These rights are expanding as legally married gay couples relocate to states that don’t allow gay marriage, forcing courts, legislatures and employers to deal with a new wrinkle on issues of custody, divorce, inheritance and end-of-life decisions.
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Chicago Tribune – United States

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