Silent partner’ examines what happens when people ‘don’t tell’

has been a passionate for rights for 12 years. He is a regular at , has a pod-cast and writes for a newspaper in .

The last thing he expected was to have to put a part of himself back into the closet. But if the military were to find out about his for a sailor, a man with years of would a .

One of the rarely discussed effects of the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” rule is the burden it places on the civilian partners of and service . When their loved ones go to war, they do not have access to any of the counseling, or offered to spouses. And if their loved ones die, no one will come knocking at their to notify them.

On Thursday, veterans and their partners shared their at the local of “,” a 30-minute offering a into the lives of three ” waiting for their partners to come home.

“This film, I believe, is telling a story we haven’t heard before,” said . , who introduced the film.

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Time To Repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

During his campaign for the , pledged that he would push to repeal “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” () — the military’s policy that bars from serving openly. Since taking office, however, and other officials serving in his administration have pushed the issue to the back burner. When asked about addressing in March, Defense Gates said, “I feel like we’ve got a on our plates right now and let’s push that one down the road a little bit.” Ret. Gen. , ’s , told the recently “not to add another to his already-full plate.” On ’s This Week, host asked Jones if the policy would be overturned. “I don’t know,” he replied. In fact, the website recently watered down language on repealing the policy, replacing the administration’s commitment to “repealing” with a commitment to simply “changing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in a sensible way.” (The more definitive “repeal” language has since been reinserted.) At the same time, has indicated that he remains committed to repealing the policy. , an officer who told her superiors last January that she is , wrote to urging him to on repealing . Last week, personally responded to Tsao, writing, “I committed to changing our policy. Although it to complete. … I intend to fulfill my commitment!”

STILL CLAIMING : continues to weaken our nation’s military. Last week, the sent . — a graduate who served in and is fluent in Arabic — a letter informing him that he is no longer welcome in the U.S. military because he is . The said it was dismissing Choi for “moral or professional ,” specifically for admitting “publicly that you are a , which constitutes conduct. Your actions negatively affected the good order and discipline of the New York .” Choi is one of more than 13,000 U.S. to be discharged because of . This number includes those with special skills deemed “mission critical,” such as pilots, combat engineers, and linguists like Choi. The Government Accountability Office found in 2005 that the cost of discharging and replacing servicemembers fired because of their during the policy’s first totaled at least $190.5 million — roughly $20,000 per discharged . While cannot be repealed without , associate professor Aaron notes that as , has the authority to suspend enforcement of the policy. Though it is unclear whether will take this route (especially based on Jones’s advice), Choi said on last week that he plans to “fully fight” his dismissal “tooth and nail.” “I believe that ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ is wrong, and what we really need to be encouraging soldiers to do is to don’t lie, don’t hide, don’t discriminate, and don’t weaken the military. That’s what we need to be promoting,” he said.

REPEAL : Supporters of the discriminatory often argue that repealing it would weaken the military (despite the fact that Arabic-linguists who are in short supply have been discharged because of it) and fragment unit . However, a bipartisan study commissioned by the Palm Center at the last year found that “the presence of in the military is unlikely to undermine the ability to fight and win.” Choi said that “the biggest thing” he is “angry about” is that the claims that his unit suffered “good order and discipline” because he is . “That’s a big insult to my unit,” he said. After he came out as and before he was discharged, Choi said that “so many came up to me, my , my , that outranked me, folks that have been in the — and this is an infantry unit, infantry men that — coming up to me and saying, ‘Hey, sir, hey, Choi, we know, and we don’t care. What we care about is that you can contribute to the team.’” Indeed, a December 2006 of servicemembers who had served in or Afghanistan found that 73 percent of those polled were “comfortable with and .” Moreover, the American public doesn’t care either. According to a recent Quinnipiac poll, nearly two-thirds disagreed with the argument that “allowing openly to serve in the military would be divisive for the troops and hurt their ability to fight effectively.” Ret. Marine Corps Brig. Gen. , who participated in the Palm Center’s study, has criticized ’s plans to allow the to review the policy before deciding to on any repeal. “There’s been enough studying throughout the years,” he said. “Creating a new study will not change the facts.”

STILL OPPOSES A REPEAL: The ultra- Center for Military Readiness (CMR), a group that opposes women and serving in combat, is leading an effort against repealing and even trying to block from serving in the military altogether. The group’s , Elaine Donnelly, told last year that having serve in the military “sexualizes the ” because they “engage in passive aggressive behavior.” CMR also tries to muddy the waters with “ horror stories” from the military, despite having acknowledged that such stories are “very difficult to find.” Prominent of continue to obstruct as well. When asked about last Sunday, Sen. (R-AZ) offered his support for it. “Right now the military is functioning extremely well in very difficult conditions,” he said, adding that “the policy has been working and I think it’s been working well.” Other of , such as Rep. Ellen Tauscher (D-CA) and Rep. (D-PA), disagree. Sestak, himself a retired U.S. rear admiral, said of recently on , “We have to correct this. It’s just not right.” “I can remember being out there in command, and someone would come up to you and start to tell you — and you just want to say, no, I don’t want to lose you, you’re too good,” Sestak said.

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Governor defends gay officer in New York Army National Guard

Governor lambasted the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy on Thursday and defended a New York who’s facing dismissal for violating it.

First . , 28, of , graduated from the U.S. in 2003 and served as an Arabic interpreter in in 2006 and 2007. In March, he joined a called Out and identified himself as a officer.

forbids service from disclosing their . Choi received a discharge notice from the last week.

Paterson, who recently introduced a bill to legalize same- in New York, spoke out Thursday on Choi’s behalf:

“What public interest does it serve for this who risked his life in to be discharged from the military for exercising the that he defended overseas?” he said. “This case is more that this policy needs to be changed.”

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