Gay New Yorkers Head to Greenwich for Weddings

GREENWICH, Conn. — They wanted a New York wedding. “Our lives are here; our friends are here,” said Janis Castaldi, 56, who lives in Westchester County with Lizz Endrich, the woman she married on May 21.

But New York has not approved same-sex marriage. “It got to the point where it doesn’t look 100 percent good right now. When you have Greenwich, Conn., 20 minutes away, I said, ‘Why are we waiting?’ ”

And so another couple from outside Connecticut made what is becoming a familiar pilgrimage to this border town of wealth and privilege, the first municipality over the state line by Interstate 95 or Metro-North.

From Nov. 12, 2008, the day same-sex marriages became legal in Connecticut, through the end of May, 139 same-sex couples applied for a marriage license and wed in Greenwich. All but three of them were been from out of state, most from New York City, according to Barbara Lowden, the town’s assistant registrar of vital statistics.

The town has the most same-sex marriages in Connecticut; statewide figures through February, the most recent available, showed Greenwich as the wedding spot for one in every five gay couples, though it has only 2 percent of the population.

Best known for its old- and new-money families stretching from the Long Island Sound to its fabled back country, Greenwich has been vexed in the past by its proximity to the border. In 2001, the crowds of people buying tickets for the Powerball lottery game, not available in New York, grew so big that town officials suspended sales for a day.

These days, by contrast, local businesses would like Greenwich’s new wave of toe-dippers to stick around a little longer than they have been. Most couples have a brief ceremony in a Town Hall meeting room or outside on the grounds, then leave immediately for receptions back in New York or honeymoons elsewhere.

Thomas C. Delaney, the general manager of the Hyatt Regency Greenwich, said the hotel had advertised on some gay and lesbian Web sites in hopes of attracting more business. The Hyatt averages 70 weddings a year, he said, but this summer only two same-sex weddings are scheduled so far. “We’d like to have a lot more,” he said.

June, the traditional month for wedding bliss, is coinciden

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Gay Rights Activist Calls for March on Washington

SALT LAKE CITY — An activist who worked alongside slain gay rights leader Harvey Milk announced plans Sunday for a march on Washington this fall to demand that Congress establish equality and marriage rights for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community.
Cleve Jones said the march planned for Oct. 11 will coincide with National Coming Out Day and launch a new chapter in the gay rights movement. He made the announcement during a rally at the annual Utah Pride Festival.
“We seek nothing more and nothing less than equal protection in all matters governed by civil law in all 50 states,” Jones said.
He stirred up a crowd of thousands just blocks from the Salt Lake City headquarters of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, part of a conservative coalition that worked last fall to pass California’s Proposition 8, which overturned a court ruling legalizing gay marriage.
“I’ve got a message for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,” Jones shouted. “I’ve got two words from California … I’ve got two words for the prophet … Thank you. Thank you for uniting us. Thank you for galvanizing us.” See Gay Rights Activist Calls for March on Washington

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When asked, this gay soldier told

TUSTIN In a calm corner of his garage, a soldier rummages through reminders of the last ten years of his life. Silver coins. A Middle Eastern sash. An Army pistol. Only a few of the souvenirs in Dan Choi’s war chest will fit into his travel duffel.

As he packs, his mom walks in. She reaches around her son’s boulder-sized biceps for a hug.

“Are you staying for dinner?”

“I’m not sure.”

By nightfall, though, Choi will surely be gone. He’s getting out of Tustin, maybe for good.

Monumental change has unsettled the 28-year-old combat veteran and his family. In March, on national television, he said, “I am gay.”

That was news to a lot of people, including his bosses. And, the three short words thrust Choi into the limelight, booked his calendar with equal-rights rallies – and earned him a pink slip from the military.

But all the cameras and microphones that have trailed Choi since then have captured only part of the story. They haven’t been privy to his parents’ distress, his past anxieties or his newfound sense of liberation.

Thousands of other troops have gotten booted for outing themselves (or being outed) as gay or lesbian. But, like clockwork, most have disappeared from public view. Choi figures he will too at some point.

But he’s not going away now, and he’s not going away quietly.

HIGH SCHOOL LOWS

Over loudspeakers, he ranted.

It was 1998, and President Clinton was getting grilled by national media for his then-alleged affair with a 22-year-old intern. At Tustin High School, Choi, 17, took on the role of Clinton scold. He locked himself in a room and commandeered the public address system to decry the commander-in-chief’s weakness and offer what he saw as a cure-all: faith in Jesus Christ.

Choi’s sister, Grace, then a freshman, recalls her brother’s outburst as “surprising, but not embarrassing.”

Their dad, a Baptist minister who fought in the South Korean Army, helped raise his three kids to battle against injustice and sin. Years later, that duty to speak out would inspire Choi to talk about his sexuality – and throw a crimp in their father-son relationship.

“I always think of the story of a throng of people telling Christ to silence his disciples,” Choi says, adding: “And Christ said, ‘… if they keep quiet, the rocks will cry out.’”

But, in high school at least, Choi’s bold talk came with a cost. The acne-faced student body president lost his job as morning news announcer, and was forced into a sabbatical from student government.

Graduation cleaned his slate. Reinstated as president, the straight-A student gave a parting address to his peers. And, bound for the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, Choi left a rousing, two-page letter in the back of his own yearbook.

“Leave your kingdom,” he wrote to himself, “to be a lonely plebe down in the dump.”

STANDING UP

In a forest near the academy, Choi smeared earth-tone paint on his face and hunkered down with his rifle. Energy-sapping practice missions, he says, were key to his college experience.

On campus, Choi studied environmental engineering. Critically, he also began mastering Arabic.

And he held onto his faith. He led Bible studies in the dorms and recited the “Cadet Prayer” every Sunday with the West Point choir. “Make us to choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong,” he prayed, “and to never to be content with a half truth when the whole can be won.”

Still, Choi concealed a truth. Since fourth grade, he had begged God to take away his attraction to other males. In college, he says, he remained unwilling to “explore” his sexuality.

In 2003, the Iraq War kicked into gear. Choi, now clear-faced and brawny, was soon sent to serve in the Persian Gulf.

There, he says he “greased hands” with elder Muslim Sheikhs, patrolled the Triangle of Death and designed a reverse-osmosis water plant for Baghdad citizens. He also passed on his knowledge of Arabic, as a teacher to thousands of American troops.

Throughout it all, compelled by the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, Choi kept mum about his sexual preference.

His final wartime task, delivering backpacks full of cash to contractors, kept him awake at night. It was around the time of that mission, sleepless in the desert, that he started asking a tough question:

Do I really want to keep lying?

When his tour ended, he wanted to boomerang back to Iraq. But that dream was brought to a halt in March when, on behalf of scores of West Point alumni and active-duty servicemembers, he went public with his sexual orientation.

WAR IN PEACE

On his last afternoon in town, rice steams in the kitchen as, upstairs, Choi sorts through a box of Army accolades.

“Who knows? Maybe one day I’ll be one of those stodgy old veterans wearing all his stuff,” he says, laughing, clutching a handful of medals.

Proud but tired of the half-truth, the highly decorated soldier returned from Iraq in 2008 and ditched reenlistment. Instead, he became a platoon leader in the National Guard. Stationed in New York, he met someone, parked down the street and lived in his car to be close to his first boyfriend.

Then Choi came home to Tustin to come out to his mom and dad – 19 times in fact, to show he wasn’t bluffing. He handed his dad a copy of the book “Loving Someone Gay.” A few days later he discovered it unopened on the floor of his closet.

“They don’t accept it,” Choi says. “And I don’t think they will anytime soon.”

Neither will the military. After his first of several prime time TV appearances, Choi, the rare Arabic-speaking serviceman, received an ultimatum from his employer – accept discharge or stand trial.

His chances before a judge seem slim, based on the dismissal of 12,500 past soldiers.

But he believes the fortunes of an estimated 65,000 gay and lesbian members of the armed forced could be changed if Congress were to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” a move President Obama favors. So, Choi keeps talking to news anchors and shouting to crowds, which strains his home life – and, recently, compelled him to pack up and move.

“Silence is not a right,” Choi says.

“Silence is an unacceptable, inexcusable wrong.”

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Lt. Dan Choi, Gay Arabic Translator Discharged From Army, Gives Speech

Nearly a hundred protesters assembled Wednesday outside the Beverly Hilton hotel in Beverly Hills, CA where President Obama hosted a Democratic Party fundraiser.
Protest organizers called for Obama to repeal the government’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy that exempts openly gay men and women from serving in the military.
Lt. Dan Choi, a West Point graduate and an Arabic translator, was discharged from the Army when he declared he was gay on national television. His conviction that the military’s policy is “a deadly poison” inspired him to lead the protest on Wednesday.
“There is a message that I want to give to Obama,” said Choi. “Stop forcing our soldiers to hide. Let them be free to serve.”
Undeterred by Tuesday’s decision by the California Supreme Court to uphold the ban on gay marriage passed by voters in November, Choi said to the crowd, “We can’t wait for somebody else to give us rights…. if we want rights, we have to fight for it. We have to earn it.” Choi ended his speech the same way it began, chanting, “Love is worth it.”
Pro-peace and anti-torture protesters took part in the demonstration as well. See Lt. Dan Choi, Gay Arabic Translator Discharged From Army, Gives Speech

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Report from California: Rallying Against H8

I knew this rally would be different when I heard the disco music from a couple of blocks away. It wasn’t that people weren’t angry or saddened or generally disillusioned about the State Supreme Court’s decision – we were – but it felt like the whole crowd knew that even …

Anger, frustration over Prop 8 ruling

(San Francisco, California) As word of Tuesday’s California Supreme Court ruling on Proposition 8 spread to the crowd outside a thunderous moan went up.

Hundreds of people on both sides of the gay marriage issue were gathered outside the court as the justices released their ruling upholding Prop 8, but allowing those gay …

Man charged with hate crime in Mass. beating

PROVINCETOWN, Mass. –A Massachusetts man has been charged with a hate crime after police say he beat up a woman while screaming anti-homosexual language on a crowded street in Provincetown.

Twenty-year-old Eric Patten of Winthrop was arrested shortly after 1 a.m. Saturday.

Police say Patten approached two women in front of a cafe on Commercial Street, called one of them an offensive name referring to gay men and pushed one of them into a cafe window, which broke.

Authorities say Patten was drunk and thought the two women were gay men.

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Cynthia Nixon announces engagement at gay marriage rally

Film, TV, and theater star Cynthia Nixon announced to the crowd of thousands gathered at Broadway Impact’s Equality rally in New York City on Sunday, May 17, that she is engaged to be married to her partner since 2003, Christine Marinoni.

“I have a secret to tell you,” she told …

Ward 8 Democrats Act Ahead of D.C. Council Legislation

The District’s same-sex marriage debate continued yesterday in the basement of a library in Ward 8, the predominantly African American community that council member Marion Barry invoked in justifying his recent vote against a bill to recognize gay marriages performed outside of the city.

But yesterday, gay rights advocates declared victory in a key battle to set the tone for the issue when the Ward 8 Democrats voted 21 to 11 to support the legalization of same-sex marriage, in preparation for legislation expected to be introduced in the D.C. Council this year.

The Ward 8 vote came after almost two hours of discussion about religion, referendums and civil rights among the crowd of about 100 people at the Washington Highlands Library on Atlantic Avenue SW.

Barry, who was scheduled to speak for the opposition, did not attend. Sandy Allen, a former council member and president of the Ward 8 Democrats, said Barry told her he had a doctor’s appointment.

More than a week ago, Barry drew ire and praise when he was the lone dissenter in a 12 to 1 vote to recognize same-sex marriages from other jurisdictions. Barry, a civil rights icon and a longtime supporter of gay rights, said his vote represented the feelings of the predominantly black Ward 8 and, in a broader sense, most black people in the District.

Local gay rights advocates say there is some credence to Barry’s argument. A 2006 poll by a local group advocating same-sex marriage shows strongest opposition among black residents. Some of those sentiments were on display at yesterday’s Ward 8 discussion.

“We are not homophobic. We are not hatemongers. We love everybody,” said the Rev. Patrick J. Walker, chairman of a new task force of ministers opposed to gay marriage. The task force is part of the Missionary Baptist Ministers’ Conference in the region, which pressed Barry to vote against the same-sex marriage recognition legislation.

“It’s our position that this is an issue that should go before the people. Thirteen people . . . should not set the moral compass of this city,” Walker said, referring to the members of the council. He is the pastor of New Macedonia Baptist Church in Southeast.

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‘Milk’ Oscar Winner: My Emotional Voyage Home to High School

Editor’s Note: On May 9th, Academy Award-winning “Milk” screenwriter Dustin Lance Black returned to his high school in North Salinas, CA, as part of Live Out Loud’s Homecoming Project. Aiming to inspire a new generation of role models, the program brings lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) leaders back to their high schools to share their personal stories with today’s students. In this exclusive submission to the MTV Movies Blog, Black tells us about his first time returning to the school since that powerful Oscar night speech, when he had spoken of his struggles as a gay teenager.
by Dustin Lance Black
My palms got a little sweaty as I turned off East Alvin Drive in Salinas, and onto Kip Drive.
For the first time in 17 years, I saw the entrance to my old high school, the same one where I was once called “gay” by my peers. And it wasn’t said as a compliment — it was said with hate, anger, and on one occasion I was honestly afraid of getting my butt whipped.
So, I did what so many kids still do — I tried to vanish. I didn’t get great grades, I didn’t excel, I shrunk and hid, and I did my best to disappear at lunch. High school is tough for almost everyone, but for LGBT kids, it can be truly frightening. And as much as I know that I’m all grown up now, and that I can stand up for myself, I still got a little knot in my stomach as we pulled up to the front doors of North Salinas High and the camera crews closed in.
Before my speech, I hung out in a back room waiting to be announced, but I could hear the crowd inside the gym. It sounded big. Then I heard them play my Oscar speech, and if you haven’t heard it yet, it’s pretty clear that I’m a gay guy fighting for the LGBT kids out there. The room got very quiet; I got a little nervous. But when the Principal called my name and I came through those doors, I was greeted by a standing ovation from the over 1000 students who chose to show up. That was my first clue that something had changed at North High. See ‘Milk’ Oscar Winner: My Emotional Voyage Home to High School
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