After the break-up, what about the lake house?
IT was a perfect party — vodka lemonade on a dock overlooking a lake, dozens of close friends, a cool misty night in the country a couple of hours north of New York.
Inside, the house spoke of a passionate interest in style, and of a committed relationship. Silhouettes of the couple who owned the house hung on a wall in the master bedroom; the couple’s nickname — Benford — was spelled out in large letters leaning against a wall in the kitchen.
But the couple, Benjamin Dixon, 31, and Bradford Shellhammer, 33, who had planned the evening as a commitment ceremony, had broken up three months earlier. Still, with airplane tickets purchased by some of the guests, a catering deposit paid and a house they haven’t been able to sell, they figured it made sense to go ahead and have a party anyway.
Their tale of lost love has a familiar arc — love sparks, then blooms; lives intertwine; moments are lost and misunderstandings creep in; eventually the two begin to live as strangers — and an epilogue that has become increasingly familiar as well, as unwanted houses become prisons rather than cocoons.
Rather than being a glossy testament to their taste and their partnership, their house in Stanfordville, in Dutchess County, is now a dead weight that entangles them and makes it impossible to move on. Having bought it and an apartment in Manhattan at the height of the real estate boom (and having made an agreement with a third partner in their lake house property not to sell it until December 2009), they are left with joint custody of two large mortgages. They are also left with two carefully decorated homes filled with one-of-a-kind accessories found on eBay and quirky furnishings by high-end designers like the Dutch collective Droog that are reminders of what came before and, Mr. Dixon said, “big reminders of what was supposed to be.”
See After the break-up, what about the lake house?
New York Times
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SD Evangelical Lutheran Church Synod Votes To Keep Current Policy On Gay Clergy
The South Dakota Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America voted today to uphold its current policy, preventing gay and lesbian clergy from being in a committed relationship while serving as pastors. The vote is only a recommendation from the South Dakota Synod. The recommendations will be taken to the ELCA national assembly in August.
Pastors and church members on both sides of the issue voiced their concerns before voting at the annual Assembly.
Nearly 800 members of the South Dakota ELCA gathered in Sioux Falls for the annual assembly. But, this years agenda included a heated debate: whether to support allowing gay and lesbian clergy to serve as pastors *and be in a committed same-sex relationship.
“I think we really need to wrestle with a new vision here,” Pastor Mindy Ehrke of Salem Lutheran Church in Mount Vernon said.
“As a Christian person, as a teacher, I need to turn to the word of God,” Pastor Daniel Ostercamp of St. John’s Lutheran Church in Webster said.
ELCA members were here to debate and vote on two resolutions: one would reject a change to the social statement and current teaching documents on sexuality, the other would reject a change in ministry policy to allow gay clergy in relationships.
One by one, church members and delegates stepped up to floor microphones to defend what they believe South Dakota should encourage.
“I think that we all need to take a step back and look at the other words that god’s taught us, love your neighbor as yourself, I think we all need to take a look at that right now,” Kristin Ackermann, member of Shalom Lutheran Church in Harrisburg, said. See SD Synod Votes To Keep Current Policy On Gay Clergy
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Tears, resolve for gay marriage fight in Maine
Southern York County was well represented Wednesday, April 22, among the proponents of a gay marriage bill who attended a public hearing at the Augusta Civic Center.
“It’s been incredibly moving,” said Kittery Point resident Lane Williamson, whose lesbian daughter was married in Massachusetts to her longtime partner. “There’s a huge pro-civil rights group here, from tiny babies to grandparents.”
Williamson, who also has a heterosexual married daughter, said she has long fought for women’s and civil rights.
“Marriage is a civil right and therefore each of my daughters has a right to be married,” she said. “If Vermont can do it (pass a gay marriage law) and Iowa can do it, for goodness sake, then Maine had better. I’m quite certain that the bill will pass.”
She and others in attendance at the hearing talked of seeing a “sea of red” among those in the audience — as the pro-bill organization Equality Maine asked proponents to wear red clothing. Of the estimated 4,000 to 5,000 in attendance, they said, it appeared from the clothing that about two-thirds of those attending favored the bill.
That was particularly gratifying for Mary Breen, who lives with her partner in South Berwick and owns a business in Ogunquit, as well as Marsha Clegg of Wells, who has been in a committed relationship with her partner for 14 years.
Breen said she was in Augusta because, “I feel if I don’t stand up for my civil rights, why should anyone else? There’s strength in numbers and I would feel badly if I wasn’t there to be counted.” She said she and her partner of almost four years “want to be married, but we want to be married in Maine, because that’s our home. We’re not asking anyone to change their religion. We just want a level playing field.”
Like others who attended, she said both sides had been very respectful and there had not been any violence or rowdiness. She said she has had to suck it up when hearing opponents call homosexuals “wrong and perverse” and using the Bible to make the point. But on the other hand, “it’s been very encouraging and empowering to hear people who are supportive. It makes all of us feel stronger.”
See Tears, resolve for gay marriage fight York Weekly
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Tears, resolve for gay marriage fight
AUGUSTA, Maine — Southern York County was well represented Wednesday among the proponents of a gay marriage bill who attended a public hearing at the Augusta Civic Center.
“It’s been incredibly moving,” said Kittery Point resident Lane Williamson, whose lesbian daughter was married in Massachusetts to her longtime partner. “There’s a huge pro-civil rights group here, from tiny babies to grandparents.”
Williamson, who also has a heterosexual married daughter, said she has long fought for women’s rights and civil rights.
“Marriage is a civil right and therefore each of my daughters has a right to be married,” she said. “If Vermont can do it (pass a gay marriage law) and Iowa can do it, for goodness sake, then Maine had better. I’m quite certain that the bill will pass.”
She and others in attendance Wednesday talked of seeing a “sea of red” among those in the audience — as the pro-bill organization Equality Maine asked proponents to wear red clothing. Of the estimated 4,000 to 5,000 in attendance, they said, it appeared from the clothing that about two-thirds of those attending favored the bill.
That was particularly gratifying for Mary Breen, who lives with her partner in South Berwick and owns a business in Ogunquit, as well as Marsha Clegg of Wells, who has been in a committed relationship with her partner for 14 years.
Breen said she was in Augusta because, “I feel if I don’t stand up for my civil rights, why should anyone else? There’s strength in numbers and I would feel badly if I wasn’t there to be counted.” She said she and her partner of almost four years “want to be married, but we want to be married in Maine, because that’s our home. We’re not asking anyone to change their religion. We just want a level playing field.”
Like others who attended, she said both sides had been very respectful and there had not been any violence or rowdiness. She said she has had to suck it up when hearing opponents call homosexuals “wrong and perverse” and using the Bible to make the point. But on the other hand, “it’s been very encouraging and empowering to hear people who are supportive. It makes all of us feel stronger.”
For Clegg, Wednesday’s hearing was the result of hard work on the part of Equality Maine, for which she has volunteered during the past year.
“This is real important to us. It’s such a civil right. Right now, I feel like I’m separate and not equal,” she said. Civil unions, like New Hampshire currently allows, “are a failed experiment. It was like they threw us a bone and said, ‘That should be good enough for them.’”
See Tears, resolve for gay marriage fight York Weekly
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Dr. Laura on Gay Marriage: ‘Beautiful’ and ‘Healthy’??? Dr. LAura?????
Famed conservative Dr. Laura Schlessinger praised same-sex committed relationships on Larry King Live as, “a beautiful thing and a healthy thing.”
When host Larry King directly asked the conservative radio host about her reactions to burgeoning gay marriage acceptance in new states. She tried to say she didn’t “have much of an oponion on it.” But King pressed, citing Dr. Laura had “always favored that marriage must be between a man and woman.”
Shlessinger replied thoughtfully:
”I’m very big on human beings finding love, attachment and commitment and being faithful to it, because there’s more to benefit when there is real, true commitment and faithfulness to it. I still believe, as just every president has, and all the people who ran for office, that marriage is a sacrament between a man and a woman. So not calling it marriage works for me. But that two people would have that sort of commitment to me is a very healthy and very positive thing in their lives and society as a whole.”
Dr. Laura on Gay Marriage: ‘Beautiful’ and ‘Healthy’
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Gay Activists Plan Their Own Tea Party At Boston Harbor
BOSTON, MA – On April 15th, thousands of same-sex couples across the United States will be reminded of their second-class status when they file their federal tax return form. Despite living in committed relationships, same-sex couples–even those married in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and California–must file as individuals, forgoing over 1,100 federal rights granted to heterosexual married couples.
This tax day, the LGBT community is demanding equal rights for equal taxation. Massachusetts citizens will be at the Long Wharf dock, near the site of the original Boston Tea Party, from 5:30pm to 7:00pm putting on a Boston Tea Party Re-enactment, rallying and passing out literature to protest the federal government’s tax policy toward same-sex couples. The intent is to inform the public of the discrimination that same-sex couples continue to face.
Rallies are being planned at local post offices across the country and these events have been sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the largest LGBT rights organization in the United States, Join The Impact, Join The Impact MA, and Marriage Equality USA.
“Married same-sex couples are blatantly discriminated against under federal tax law, among other areas, and we’re doing our part to shine a light on that injustice. A Boston Tea Party Re-enactment is a spirited way to do just that and it also adds some variety to your standard protest,” said Paul Sousa, co-chair of Join The Impact MA.
Among the most egregious policies is the federal government’s denial of social security benefits and inheritance rights to same-sex couples. LGBT individuals are blocked access to their partner’s social security benefits, often making retirement financially difficult, if not impossible. They are also denied access to the lump sum given to survivors which can make it hard to cover hospital and funeral expenses for their loved one.
The Boston Tea Party Re-enactment is being organized by Join the Impact MA, a grassroots organization that is working towards full LGBT equality on the state and national level. More information about the rallies and their locations can be found at the website http://www.jointheimpactMA.com/taxday/.
Gay Activists Plan Their Own Tea Party At Boston Harbor
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At one Lutheran church, gay, partnered and preaching
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America congregations aren’t supposed to allow gay people in committed relationships to be pastors. But it’s already happening at one Minneapolis Lutheran church.
ELCA leadership will meet at a national convention this summer in Minneapolis to consider changing the rule. The proposal would allow individual congregations to hire gay, partnered pastors – as long as they can show they’re in a lifelong, committed relationship.
But Calvary Lutheran Church already took that step. Pastor Brad Froslee took over the pulpit there in February, even though he was open about his partner of 5 and a half years.
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Dr. Laura on Gay Marriage: ‘Beautiful’ and ‘Healthy’??? Dr. LAura?????
Famed conservative Dr. Laura Schlessinger praised same-sex committed relationships on Larry King Live as, “a beautiful thing and a healthy thing.”
When host Larry King directly asked the conservative radio host about her reactions to burgeoning gay marriage acceptance in new states. She tried to say she didn’t “have much of an oponion on it.” But King pressed, citing Dr. Laura had “always favored that marriage must be between a man and woman.”
Shlessinger replied thoughtfully:
”I’m very big on human beings finding love, attachment and commitment and being faithful to it, because there’s more to benefit when there is real, true commitment and faithfulness to it. I still believe, as just every president has, and all the people who ran for office, that marriage is a sacrament between a man and a woman. So not calling it marriage works for me. But that two people would have that sort of commitment to me is a very healthy and very positive thing in their lives and society as a whole.”
Dr. Laura on Gay Marriage: ‘Beautiful’ and ‘Healthy’
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Original source : http://gay_blog.blogspot.com/2009/04/dr-laura-on-g…
Gay Activists Plan Their Own Tea Party At Boston Harbor
BOSTON, MA – On April 15th, thousands of same-sex couples across the United States will be reminded of their second-class status when they file their federal tax return form. Despite living in committed relationships, same-sex couples–even those married in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and California–must file as individuals, forgoing over 1,100 federal rights granted to heterosexual married couples.
This tax day, the LGBT community is demanding equal rights for equal taxation. Massachusetts citizens will be at the Long Wharf dock, near the site of the original Boston Tea Party, from 5:30pm to 7:00pm putting on a Boston Tea Party Re-enactment, rallying and passing out literature to protest the federal government’s tax policy toward same-sex couples. The intent is to inform the public of the discrimination that same-sex couples continue to face.
Rallies are being planned at local post offices across the country and these events have been sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the largest LGBT rights organization in the United States, Join The Impact, Join The Impact MA, and Marriage Equality USA.
“Married same-sex couples are blatantly discriminated against under federal tax law, among other areas, and we’re doing our part to shine a light on that injustice. A Boston Tea Party Re-enactment is a spirited way to do just that and it also adds some variety to your standard protest,” said Paul Sousa, co-chair of Join The Impact MA.
Among the most egregious policies is the federal government’s denial of social security benefits and inheritance rights to same-sex couples. LGBT individuals are blocked access to their partner’s social security benefits, often making retirement financially difficult, if not impossible. They are also denied access to the lump sum given to survivors which can make it hard to cover hospital and funeral expenses for their loved one.
The Boston Tea Party Re-enactment is being organized by Join the Impact MA, a grassroots organization that is working towards full LGBT equality on the state and national level. More information about the rallies and their locations can be found at the website http://www.jointheimpactMA.com/taxday/.
Gay Activists Plan Their Own Tea Party At Boston Harbor
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Original source : http://gay_blog.blogspot.com/2009/04/gay-activists…
Lutherans consider gay clergy
The nation’s largest Lutheran denomination will consider allowing individual congregations to choose whether to allow gays and lesbians in committed relationships to serve as clergy, an attempt to avoid the sort of infighting that has threatened to tear other churches apart.
A task force of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America recommended that course at the end of February in a long-awaited report on ministry standards. The panel, however, said the church needs to clarify a number of questions before overhauling its gay clergy policy. The report, issued at the same time as a broader church social statement on human sexuality, seeks balance on an issue dividing many Protestant churches. Both documents will be considered in August in Minneapolis at the biannual church convention. “At this point, there is no consensus in the church,” said the Rev. Peter Strommen of Prior Lake, Minn., chairman of the 15-member task force on sexuality. “The question ends up being, ‘How are we going to live together in that absence of consensus?’ ”
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