After the break-up, what about the lake house?
IT was a perfect party — vodka lemonade on a dock overlooking a lake, dozens of close friends, a cool misty night in the country a couple of hours north of New York.
Inside, the house spoke of a passionate interest in style, and of a committed relationship. Silhouettes of the couple who owned the house hung on a wall in the master bedroom; the couple’s nickname — Benford — was spelled out in large letters leaning against a wall in the kitchen.
But the couple, Benjamin Dixon, 31, and Bradford Shellhammer, 33, who had planned the evening as a commitment ceremony, had broken up three months earlier. Still, with airplane tickets purchased by some of the guests, a catering deposit paid and a house they haven’t been able to sell, they figured it made sense to go ahead and have a party anyway.
Their tale of lost love has a familiar arc — love sparks, then blooms; lives intertwine; moments are lost and misunderstandings creep in; eventually the two begin to live as strangers — and an epilogue that has become increasingly familiar as well, as unwanted houses become prisons rather than cocoons.
Rather than being a glossy testament to their taste and their partnership, their house in Stanfordville, in Dutchess County, is now a dead weight that entangles them and makes it impossible to move on. Having bought it and an apartment in Manhattan at the height of the real estate boom (and having made an agreement with a third partner in their lake house property not to sell it until December 2009), they are left with joint custody of two large mortgages. They are also left with two carefully decorated homes filled with one-of-a-kind accessories found on eBay and quirky furnishings by high-end designers like the Dutch collective Droog that are reminders of what came before and, Mr. Dixon said, “big reminders of what was supposed to be.”
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New York Times
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Another front for fairness
AT A HEARING at the State House last week, supporters of a bill to ban discrimination on the basis of gender identity and expression outlined the myriad barriers that confront transgender people - those who are born male but live as females, or vice versa. Unlike those whose religions or sexual orientations expose them to discrimination, transgendered people might not be able to avoid the issue when applying for jobs, apartments, or loans. The truth may become evident from a check on a Social Security number or a search of credit reports.
Transgender advocates aren’t looking for sympathy. The goal of the legislation, introduced by Representative Carl Sciortino, is to give transgender residents of Massachusetts space to live without discrimination or violence. The bill responds sensibly to a real problem, and deserves to pass.
Transgender people don’t make the transition lightly; many, though not all, undergo gender-reassignment surgery. The case of Dana Zircher, profiled recently by the Globe’s Bella English, underscores the difficulty of the process, even when individuals have supportive families and employers. Zircher, a software designer and a parent, has undergone a divorce, surgery, and 350 hours of electrolysis.
Instead of addressing the complexities of actual people’s lives, though, opponents are trying to undermine Sciortino’s legislation by calling it a “Bathroom Bill.’’ The difference between a transgender woman and a man who wants to infiltrate a ladies’ room is perfectly obvious, at least to anyone who is not deliberately obfuscating the issue. The difference would surely be obvious to police officers and judges. Thirteen other states, including Vermont, Maine, and Rhode Island, and dozens of cities, including Boston and Cambridge, already forbid discrimination against transgendered people - and public washrooms are as safe as ever.
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Another “DOMA GOP” politican has zipper trouble: Sen. Paul Stanley Caught in Sex Scandal
Well, it was only a matter of time, wasn’t it? According to authorities, one of our own social conservative Republicans has been caught cheating on his wife, and he was doing it with a young legislative intern. At this juncture, we’re going to resist the temptation to make a joke about family values. That’s getting so old it’s not funny anymore.
Suffice it to say that like John Ensign, Mark Sanford and all the rest on the national stage lately, this one is really rich–with a little homemade porn and a bumbling blackmailer tossed into the story to make it even spicier. Ensnared in Tennessee’s own sex scandal tonight is Sen. Paul Stanley, the wingnut from Germantown who has crusaded to ban gay adoption of children and who once made the really stupid mistake of saying: “When you’re married, there’s a commitment there.”
According to court documents, here’s what happened: Stanley, who is married with two children, was having an affair with his 22-year-old legislative intern, McKensie Morrison. Morrison’s boyfriend, Joel Palmer Watts. 28, discovered a computer memory disc with sexually explicit photographs of Morrison that appeared to have been taken in Stanley’s apartment. Watts then blackmailed Stanley, demanding $10,000 in return for keeping quiet about the senator’s relationship with his intern.
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Baltimore lesbian couple found dead
(Baltimore) A lesbian couple was found dead in their apartment on Wednesday reports the Baltimore Sun. A daughter and niece of an upstairs neighbor were able to open the front door of the apartment and find the couple face-down on their bed.
Several clues indicate foul play, including an open front …
Tags: Apartment, Baltimore Sun, Couple Face, Foul Play, Lesbian Couple, Niece, Upstairs NeighborEx-fighter pilot listens to feminine voice he’d tried to ignore
Darlene Fike shifts in a chocolate brown recliner seated on a heating pad in a small two-story apartment near the University of Memphis and recounts her life.
It hasn’t been long since the last remnants of Darlene’s manhood were surgically removed, and she’s sore.
Bronzed baby shoes that would fit a boy or girl sit near the television along with a picture of a mother and little boy in a sailor suit.
Darlene, 58, gingerly climbed the stairs to use the bathroom, past a framed box of ribbons and medals, military honors presented to David, the man she used to be.
Two years ago, David, a retired Air National Guard Lieutenant Colonel who served as a navigator and fighter pilot, told his wife, Mary, something he’d kept inside all his life. He was a woman in a man’s body.
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Memphis Commercial Appeal
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AIDS/LifeCycle charity bike ride gets personal when recession hits
For the last two years, Brodt has participated in the annual bike ride to raise money for HIV and AIDS-related services at the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center and the San Francisco AIDS Foundation.
But Brodt, once a television producer with a six-figure salary, never thought “others” could include him.
After losing his job and health insurance, Brodt, 37, now relies on the same services that he raised money for in the past for his own HIV treatment.
He was laid off last April. Although he was offered another job in the industry, he decided to take time off to reassess his career. When he was ready to return to work, previous job offers had dried up. By then, he said, people who had provided job leads were losing their own positions.
Savings stretched only so far. Brodt moved into an older, cheaper apartment on the edge of Hollywood and gave up his car. Some weeks, he said, he had less than $20 in his bank account.
After six months, Brodt could no longer afford the $500 monthly payment for COBRA health insurance benefits. His HIV medications could run several thousand dollars a year. He stopped taking them.
It wasn’t long before he started to feel fatigued and depressed.
“I thought, maybe I need to talk to someone . . . Maybe I’m just depressed. I can’t find a job,” Brodt said. “I didn’t really think it had to do with HIV.”
Brodt’s symptoms were a textbook example of what can happen when someone who is HIV positive stops taking medication, said Brad Hare, medical director of UC San Francisco’s Positive Health Program at San Francisco General Hospital. A lapse in treatment can increase the risk of disease progression and medication resistance, he said.
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Teen Claims Self Defense In Gay Newsman’s Killing
(New York City) A New York teenager charged with the brutal slaying of veteran radio reporter George Weber claims he was acting in self defense.
John Katehis, 16, was ordered held without bail at an arraignment hearing in Brooklyn.
Weber’s body was found in his apartment in March. His ankles were bound, …
Tags: Acting, Ankles, Apartment, Arraignment Hearing, Brooklyn, Brutal Slaying, George Weber, New York City, Radio Reporter, Self Defense, Teen Gay, Teenager, Veteran Radio
