Humpday Isn’t Really About Gay Sex

Lynn Shelton’s , a sexual , opens with a pair of breeders in bed. A youngish , Ben (mumblecordeon ) and Anna (Alycia ), confess they’re too tired to procreate that night and then confess their mutual relief. As if in response, the at 2 a.m. and Ben’s long- college buddy, Andrew ( survivor ), stumbles in from deepest . Anna, who has never had the pleasure, watches the unexpected bromantic action with grim incredulity. Aggressively loud, demonstrative, and hairy, Andrew is a credible representation of Ben’s id.

Reuniting an uptight with a footloose old pal, Shelton’s third feature offers a (much) more of Kelly ’s Old Joy, also a sort of buddy movie, also shot in the . In this case, the weekend is steeped in sexual . , Ben has to retrieve from a house called “” — home to a bi cutie (the director herself) and an omnisexual assortment of roisterers. No orgies, but plenty of stoned dancing. Anna, who has prepared her dinner, sits home alone. She stews; Ben gets stewed. Prompted by news of an amateur — sponsored by a local alt-weekly — Ben finds himself proposing to costar with showoff Andrew in a mad , dude-on-dude action, totally straight, yet somewhere “beyond .” Maybe they’ll be famous. The only problem: Just who is going to bone whom?

Having thus invested its protagonists in a of “chicken,” played to justify their respective life , delivers some excellent situation . The scene where Andrew and Anna have a get-acquainted drink and Andrew inadvertently exposes Ben’s boastful lie that his wife has signed off on their “project” is pure Honeymooners. (Bang, zoom, straight to the moon!) Ben can’t tell Anna why he wants to have with Andrew, only that it’s very, very important to him. And, terrified that Ben might think he really did have a yen, Andrew can only sigh, “I wish I was more .” Of course. Just as Brüno is more of a comment on culture than the (or hate) that dare not speak its name, is actually less a than a satiric view of macho. Appreciative as Shelton may be of her dudes, she has another . Each in his own way, the guys have been freaked by a of assertive female — although the term “pussy-whipped” is never used.

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Study examines effect of marriage on gay couples

(San Francisco, California) The of same- relationships, including , influences how and prepare for late life and end of life issues, a new study has found.

Unmarried same- couples may suffer greater and around end of life issues than those in state-sanctioned , …

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Stigma drives HIV-positive gay men’s sexual risk-taking

Roger , Friday, March 06, 2009

-positive men’s of stigma and by strongly influence their involvement in casual and discourage them from practicing many -reduction strategies, report in their II report published this week.

The men they interviewed wished to balance their desire for with a need to maintain their sense of , but were often unable to avoid which could result in transmission.

To follow up a similar study published a ago, Adam Bourne and interviewed 42 men with diagnosed about their and management of . The in-depth, qualitative focused on recent of (), and to take part in the study, men had to have had unprotected in the past year. Therefore it’s important to note that the study does not reflect the of the one-third of men with who do not practice in any given year.

The researchers attempted to include in the sample a mix of respondents from and Manchester as well as lower prevalence areas, and also ensure in terms of age and time since diagnosis.

All respondents were aware that they could transmit through , and almost all said that they would never want to be responsible for doing so. Men more recently diagnosed tended to be particularly preoccupied by this concern, often avoiding altogether for a period after diagnosis.

In terms of the other harms which unprotected could give rise to, men tended to feel that infections were rarely serious, although a few were more concerned about C. Whilst some recently diagnosed men felt that superinfection was an issue, men who had been diagnosed for longer usually believed that clinicians had deliberately exaggerated its importance.

Of more concern, however, were the emotional, psychological and social harms that unprotected could to. If men failed to live up to their own ethical guidelines, this could to inner turmoil. Moreover, some respondents described the perceived irresponsible behaviour of other -positive men in order to highlight their own . Having posed a threat both to a man’s positive sense of self and to the way in which other men saw him.

The researchers argue that men’s concerns about and stigma shape they way they manage . men vulnerable to significant harm, including violent reactions and about ex-partners using police investigations as retribution, as well as leading to emotional upset and problems finding . In a community that often remains hostile to with , men’s instinct for self-preservation often them to choose behaviours where is felt to be unnecessary.

For example, many men used saunas, not just because was readily available, but also because the men assumed that almost all other sauna users were -positive. Like online chat rooms or support group meetings, saunas were thought to be ‘ positive spaces’ where men had implicitly announced their status simply by being there. This allowed men to have unprotected there without an explicit discussion of status, but leaving them with their sense of personal integrity intact.

In some settings, some men tried to avoid but maintain their sense of by suggesting to that it would be a good idea to use a . Nonetheless one man described how these suggestions prompted one sexual to ask directly whether he had . When he said yes, the man became angry and left.

Another form of implicit that men tried was ticking ‘safer needs discussion’ on a internet . Few men explicitly advertised their status on their , but might mention it during private instant messaging. The respondents described ambiguities and misunderstandings in on the internet, but generally found that the internet enabled them to screen potential partners with less of or reprisal.

Nonetheless, the researchers found that men used reduction strategies to quite a limited extent. No respondents mentioned reducing the of anal intercourse or the impact that or a infection could have on the of transmission. Just a few men discussed the greater of infection for the receptive or the possible of withdrawing before ejaculation.

Some men did practice some form of sero-sorting (seeking partners of the same status) and respondents said that it allowed them to have uninhibited where status did not remain the most salient concern throughout.

Nonetheless the researchers stress that no man exclusively practiced sero-sorting in a way that could that both partners had the same status. was often implicit (by being in a sauna, for example) or was not reciprocal. The respondent may have made an upfront of status, and assumed that if his was ready to carry on without , then he must be positive too.

However the majority of men actually rejected the idea of sero-sorting. It was associated in their minds with high-, esoteric practices, and in the words of one respondent, men who are “going spreading it round because they are shagging willy-nilly”. Many men were at pains to distance themselves from this behaviour. They were appalled by the idea that unprotected could ever be a regular or planned activity, and so rejected sero-sorting, strategic positioning, withdrawal before ejaculation and other reduction strategies.

Nonetheless these same men had all had some unprotected . It tended to be described as an exceptional event, explained by circumstances such as substance use or a ’s insistence. The researchers make it clear that a number of men lacked the self- or negotiation skills to manage such situations. Many men aspired to use a every time, but were not able to fall back on reduction strategies when, for whatever reason, weren’t used.

In their the researchers note several consequences of related stigma: a to disclose and an encouragement to have anonymous ; some interviewees’ of other -positive men and their behaviour; a desire not to engage with the idea that is an integral part of ; and the to use -reduction strategies.

However they also note that, for many men, there are direct contradictions between their intentions and their behaviour. Many men construct systems of about that enable them to have the they desire, whilst feeling that they are ‘moral enough’. They believe they are behaving responsibly, but transmission may well be taking place.

The researchers recommend tailored prevention interventions for diagnosed men which take account of the centrality of stigma, and discuss unprotected in credible and informative ways. Moreover professionals need to improve their skills in engaging men with these issues.

Reference
Bourne A et al. Relative Safety II : risk and unprotected anal intercourse among gay men with diagnosed HIV. London: Sigma Research 2009.

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Gay parade case’s jury facing key question

— The sexual case brought by four against the city should be in the jury’s hands Wednesday, when a and women likely will to answer a :

Did the four , who were ordered to drive a engine in the 2007 parade, encounter pervasive or severe from parade spectators and ?

Each firefighter has taken the stand, and after nearly two weeks of , have emerged.

City suggested that the men are and painted them as -hungry who were uncomfortable but not victims of sexual . The defense also said most of the ’problems stemmed from taking their case to the news media and filing the lawsuit.

The said that not only were they victimized during the parade, they also suffered headaches, , and other stress-related issues because of what they heard and saw: catcalls, insults, simulated acts, , and men touching themselves and each other.

All four are married, and three have children. They have more than 45 years of combined experience with the Fire-Rescue Department.

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‘Shadowboxing’ with HIV anxiety

’ with

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