A big gay Mormon wedding
“Love each other, be selfless, negotiate,” George E. Redd III said to his son Jay on his wedding day recently. Gazing at his 36-year-old son standing next to his beloved, in the Swedenborgian Church in San Francisco, Redd III quoted Paul, Ringo, John and George: “All you need is love, love is all you need.”
It was hanky time inside the chapel, a cozy wooden Arts and Crafts building that could have been airlifted in from a village in Scandinavia, or perhaps the Shire. There’s nothing like the father blessing the son at a wedding, with Irish folk musicians strumming in the background, to get the tear ducts flowing. Especially when the son’s gorgeous spouse is another man.
A few weeks after the wedding, Jay, a movie director based in Los Angeles and San Francisco, told me that his father’s Beatles reference had taken him totally by surprise. “When Dad said, ‘And to quote the great Western philosophers,’ I thought for sure he was going to read from Scripture,” Jay said. But to his great relief, the advice his father doled out came from John Lennon and not John the Baptist. After all the pain Jay had endured, wondering whether his devout Mormon father would even attend his wedding, those Liverpool lyrics were music to his ears.
A big gay Mormon wedding
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Tags: aids barack obama britney spears celebrity gossip chris, gay, LeadsGOP Sen. Bond: Obama Wants Judges Who Empathize With "The Gay"
“Just this past week, we saw what Barack Obama said about judges,” Bond said. “He said, ‘I’m tired of these judges who want to follow what the Founding Fathers said and the Constitution. I want judges who have a heart, have an empathy for the teenage mom, the minority, the gay, the disabled. We want them to show empathy. We want them to show compassion.’”
Bond then seized on Obama’s comments to Joe The Plumber, saying the Democrat wants to redistribute wealth.
“He thinks this country should be a government—not a government of laws, but a government of compassion and empathy, not of laws,” Bond said.
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Tags: aids barack obama britney spears celebrity gossip chris, gay, Leads, politicsJoin Obama and say NO to Prop 8
About Prop 8
Why Vote No on Prop 8?
Prop.8 is unfair, unnecessary and wrong. Find out why Californians are voting no on Prop 8 here.
Facts v. Fiction
Neutral observers say the Prop. 8 campaign has been untruthful and grossly misleading. Find out more here.
Who Opposes Prop 8?
Nearly every major newspaper in California, and groups representing teachers, nurses, seniors, business and labor, oppose Proposition 8. Read the current list of opponents here.
What is Prop 8?
Prop 8 would eliminate equal protections and put discrimination into our state constitution. Get the facts here.
No a la Prop 8 en EspañolNo on Prop 8 in Chinese No on Prop 8 in Korean No on Prop 8 in Vietnamese* Tags = gay men gay news lesbian news transgender bisexual
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Tags: aids barack obama britney spears celebrity gossip chris, gay, Leads, lesbian, sexHate crime charge in Prop. 8 sign attack
A Torrance man has been charged with a felony hate crime assault for allegedly using an anti-gay marriage “Yes on Prop. 8″ lawn sign to attack a gay man wearing a “No on 8″ button.
Prosecutor Janet Wilson says 23-year-old Joseph Storm and the 22-year-old victim got into a squabble early Sunday on a Torrance street.
The prosecutor says it’s unclear if the dispute centered on same-sex marriage ban Proposition 8. Storm told investigators he was angry because the man had tossed the pro-proposition sign into the street and was littering.
Wilson says Storm allegedly used the “Yes on Prop. 8″ lawn sign to knock down the victim, who was then punched and choked while Storm allegedly uttered a homosexual slur.
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Tags: aids barack obama britney spears celebrity gossip chris, gay, Leads, sexBlack gay men are the new, um, black
“Noah’s Arc: Jumping the Broom”
Before I move on to nibbly bits of news from the film world in a week when almost everyone’s attention is on weightier matters, here’s the casualty report, both metaphorical and, I am sorry to say, literal. New York film and TV critic Andrew Johnston, an intelligent and versatile writer whose weekly deep-think analyses of each new episode of “Mad Men” had attracted a loyal following over at the House Next Door, has died at age 40 after a long battle with cancer. I only knew Johnston by sight and didn’t realize he was ill, so this news is especially upsetting and shocking.
From a far less dire division of the bell-tolling department comes the news that Los Angeles Times film critic (and former Salon TV critic) Carina Chocano has been laid off, part of a 10 percent editorial staff reduction as that once-proud temple of West Coast journalism goes into a deepening death spiral. I was Carina’s editor at Salon during the period when she pioneered, for better or worse, the Internet tradition of snarky overnight coverage of “Survivor” and other first-generation reality shows. She’s a terrific talent with a rapier wit and of course she’ll be fine, but losing your job is never any fun. (Anne Thompson of Variety offers a pithy appreciation.) I could insert the usual moaning here about how real criticism, ethical arts reporting and the rest of journalism is in deep trouble, but something tells me your sympathy for that stuff is kind of limited right now. (In quasi-related news, the Christian Science Monitor, a bastion of newspaperly integrity I grew up reading, is abandoning daily print journalism in favor of weekly publication and the Web.)
While we await the verdict between “the hot lady and the Tiger Woods guy,” in the phrase of Will Ferrell-as-George W. Bush — what’s that you say? That woman’s not the Republican candidate? Coulda fooled me — we’re evidently all going to see lots of odd little niche-market movies. This weekend, per IndieWIRE, was a strikingly strong and instructive one, with the top-ranked independent release a film virtually unreviewed and unnoticed by mainstream media (including, ahem, this representative thereof). “Noah’s Arc: Jumping the Broom,” a big-screen adaptation of the cable-TV series about a group of young gay African-American men in Los Angeles, virtually sold out its New York, Atlanta and Washington venues and grossed a flat-out amazing $30,000 per screen.
OK, that’s a notch lower than the limited release of Clint Eastwood’s “Changeling,” but “Noah’s Arc” doesn’t have Angelina Jolie, or 1/100th of Universal’s marketing budget. Or any name recognition among heteros or whites. Expect a marketing scrum to erupt over the black gay entertainment audience, and no, I’m not kidding. And for the love of God, why not? If that isn’t a demographic that has earned the right to be temporarily pandered to in our glorious consumer democracy, then nobody has. Simply in search of a timely news hook, I was going to try to work Barack Obama into this item. But I thought better of it. Good-looking guy, though, isn’t he?
Charlie Kaufman’s “Synecdoche, New York,” despite (or because of) its divided reviews, also opened strongly, with $172,000 from just nine big-city screens. On one hand, that’s nowhere near as good as Kaufman’s “Adaptation” did on its 2002 release, but given the overtly challenging nature of “Synecdoche,” it’s more than enough to warrant wider release. French novelist-turned-director Philippe Claudel’s melodrama “I’ve Loved You So Long,” with its Oscar-buzzed star turn from English actress Kristin Scott Thomas, also opened decently, but the week’s other big surprise was the black-comic Swedish vampire flick “Let the Right One In,” which pulled in almost $50,000 on just four screens.
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Tags: aids barack obama britney spears celebrity gossip chris, entertainment, gay, LeadsCT Episcopalians ask OK for gay marriage
The clergy and lay delegates of the Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut voted Saturday to ask the bishop to allow same-sex weddings, as the state Supreme Court’s decision to legalize gay marriage in the state becomes official today.
The resolution at the annual diocesan convention passed 174-132, but is not binding on Bishop Andrew D. Smith, who said he is studying the issue.
According to the resolution, the convention “implores the bishop to allow priests in this diocese to exercise pastoral wisdom and care and follow the lead of their consciences in whether or not to participate in marriage ceremonies of same-sex couples.”
The state Supreme Court decision released earlier this month officially takes effect today. In a 4-3 ruling, the court stated that “our conventional understanding of marriage must yield to a more contemporary appreciation of the rights entitled to constitutional protection.
“Interpreting our state constitutional provisions in accordance with firmly established equal protection principles leads inevitably to the conclusion that gay persons are entitled to marry the otherwise qualified same-sex partner of their choice.”
The General Assembly approved civil unions for same-sex partners in 2005 and is now the third state, after Massachusetts and California, to legalize same-sex marriages.
Smith said Monday he will take the delegates’ vote under consideration.
“The vote at convention is an indication by the delegates at convention of their thoughts and preferences for the diocese,” Smith said. “It was a clear majority, but not a landslide in favor of allowing clergy to exercise their consciences.”
Smith has allowed Episcopal priests in Connecticut to perform a blessing for couples in civil unions, and told convention delegates he will allow the same for married same-sex couples.
He has not permitted clergy to perform marriages for gay couples because the Book of Common Prayer, which is considered part of the Episcopal Church’s constitution, defines marriage as between a man and a woman.
However, Smith and the diocese’s two suffragan bishops are researching the issue. “I want to talk to bishops in other states where marriage has been defined in a new way,” Smith said. Ultimately, the Episcopal Church as a whole will have to decide whether to approve same-sex marriage, he said.
The Rev. K. Dexter Cheney, former rector of the Church of the Holy Spirit in West Haven, was one of the delegates who sponsored the resolution and said he’s ready to perform same-sex marriages.
“Over my time in the church, it has felt like there have been times when there needed to be some action to sort of nudge change, and particularly where matters of justice are concerned,” he said.
He said Smith is in a bind because civil and church laws now disagree on what defines marriage. “He’s obliged to uphold the canon law of the church on one hand. On the other, it’s my impression that he is sympathetic to the issue,” Cheney said.
For Connecticut as a whole, same-sex marriages are still at least a couple of weeks away. According to state Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, the Supreme Court’s decision becomes official with today’s publication in the Connecticut Law Journal.
“Then there is a 10-day waiting period because any party can request reconsideration,” he said.
Once that period ends Nov. 10, the Superior Court where the case originated will issue orders to implement the ruling and town clerks will be required to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.
“The order will say you must treat same-sex couples who wish to be married in exactly the same way as heterosexual couples, because the equal protection clause requires equal treatment,” Blumenthal said.
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Source: The Bristol Press - CT Episcopalians ask OK for gay marriage
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Tags: aids barack obama britney spears celebrity gossip chris, gay, Leads, sexOutside the Box: Disconnected Identities of Gay and Lesbian Hispanics and African Americans
LOS ANGELES, CA – Male, black, a banker… and gay. Latina, lawyer… and lesbian, a triple “minority,” belonging to no group. A new survey reveals some surprising attitudes about gays and lesbians of color - classifications with significant implications for how marketers and advertisers reach out to them.
A qualitative survey just released by the Los Angeles based multicultural market research company New American Dimensions (NAD) shows that African-American and Hispanic gays and lesbians overwhelmingly consider themselves to be members of at least two minority groups: one defined by sexual orientation and the other defined by race or ethnicity. Lesbians face discrimination on an additional front, as women. To which group do they really belong? Many respondents suggested that they feel comfortable in no traditional group at all.
The NAD survey, titled Outside of the Box, explores the attitudes revealed in focus groups and in-depth interviews conducted among 110 African American and Hispanic gays and lesbians ranging from ages 18 to 42 years in Los Angeles and San Francisco.
African Americans acknowledged a clear and often articulated taboo against homosexuality in the Black community, particularly from African American churches, and males expressed a strong pressure to appear masculine by living dual, closeted lives.
Hispanics said they maintained close ties to family, despite discrimination based on sexual orientation, and said they felt pressure to follow traditional gender roles. Although many reported initial ostracism from family members, a majority expressed the importance of family, and a significant number explained the desire to walk the thin line between family and sexual orientation by seeking out Hispanic partners.
Both Black and Hispanic gays and lesbians confessed they felt at odds with the “gay community,” which many said is very Caucasian in its focus.
As a result, these gays and lesbians of color often prefer to develop their own small, personal, multicultural communities.
Stereotypes about gay and lesbians persist, participants say, and many blame the media. Participants explained that media representation of Hispanic and African American gays and lesbians is more limited than that of Caucasian gays and lesbians, meaning that Hispanics and African Americans are more apt to be reduced to stereotypes. Hispanic and African American gays and lesbians indicated they want to be included in the consumer landscape and portrayed accurately - as professional, loving, responsible, multicultural people with varied interests, family situations, and morals.
According to David Morse, President and CEO of New American Dimensions, “Being a person of color in America can be challenging, and being gay can be hard. Combine the two elements, and you find a significant group of consumers who feel ostracized by family and ignored by marketers.”
More than a quarter of same-gender couples in the U.S. include at least one minority, and same sex couples live in every county in every part of the nation.
To view in-depth study results and a video of participants, please visit http://www.newamericandimensions.com/
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Tags: aids barack obama britney spears celebrity gossip chris, gay, Leads, lesbian, sexACLU Executive Director Makes Personal Plea Opposing California Proposition 8
NEW YORK – Anthony D. Romero, Executive Director of the American Civil Liberties Union, sent a personal plea Tuesday urging people to encourage their friends and family in California to fight the passage of Proposition 8. The ballot initiative on the California general election ballot on November 4 would amend the state constitution to strip same-sex couples of the right to marry. In the note, Romero describes his personal journey coming out as a gay man and his, and the ACLU’s, mission to fight discrimination. The note says: “We recognize that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere … Given what’s at stake in the outcome of this election, I am personally appealing to you for help to fight the forces of intolerance from carrying the day in California next Tuesday.”
The full letter is as follows:
Dear ACLU Supporter,
I’m angry and heartsick about what may happen in California on November 4th.
In the most personal way possible, I’m writing to ask you for a favor: help us ensure that gay couples all across California keep their fundamental right to marriage — the basic right to be treated just like anybody else.
I hope you will forgive the indulgence when I speak from the heart and tell you my personal story.
You see, I grew up in a loving and supportive household, where my family believed I could be anything I chose — anything except being an openly gay man. Neither of my parents finished high school, and yet, they believed I could accomplish all I set out to do as I went off to Princeton University and Stanford Law School.
They got me through the toughest of times, scrimped and saved, and always believed that failure wasn’t in the cards for me. They had more faith in me than I often had in myself. Whenever my parents visited me at Princeton, my Dad would slip a $20 bill in my pocket when my Mom wasn’t looking. I never had the courage to tell him that the $20 wouldn’t go very far towards my bills, books and tuition. But, it was his support and belief in me that sustained me more than the tens of thousands of dollars I received in scholarships.
When I finished college, they were hugely proud of my — and their — accomplishments. That was until I told them I was gay and wanted to live life as an openly gay man.
Though I always knew I was gay, I didn’t come out to them for many years, as I was afraid of losing the love and support that had allowed me to succeed against all odds. When I did tell them, they cried and even shouted. I ended up leaving their home that night to spend a sleepless night on a friend’s sofa. We were all heartbroken.
When my Mom and I spoke later, my Mom said, “But, Antonio (that’s the name she uses with me), hasn’t your life been hard enough? People will hurt you and hate you because of this.” She, of course, was right — as gay and lesbian people didn’t only suffer discrimination from working class, Puerto Rican Catholics, but from the broader society. She felt that I had escaped the public housing projects in the Bronx, only to suffer another prejudice — one that might be harder to beat — as the law wasn’t on my side. At the time, it felt like her own homophobia. Now I see there was also a mother’s love and a real desire to protect her son. She was not wrong at a very fundamental level. She knew that treating gay and lesbian people like second class citizens — people who may be worthy of “tolerance, ” as Sarah Palin asserts, but not of equality — was and still is the last socially-acceptable prejudice.
Even before I came out to them, I struggled to accept myself as a gay man. I didn’t want to lose the love of my family, and I wanted a family of my own — however I defined it. I ultimately chose to find my own way in life as a gay man. This wasn’t as easy as it sounds even though it was the mid-1980s. I watched loved ones and friends die of AIDS. I was convinced I would never see my 40th birthday, much less find a partner whom I could marry.
As years passed, my Mom, Dad and I came to a peace, and they came to love and respect me for who I am. They even came to defend my right to live with equality and dignity — often fighting against the homophobia they heard among their family and friends and in church.
The right to be equal citizens and to marry whomever we wish — unimaginable to me when I first came out — is now ours to lose in California unless we stand up for what’s right. All of us must fight against what’s wrong. In my 43 short years of life, I have seen gay and lesbian people go from pariahs and objects of legally-sanctioned discrimination to being on the cusp of full equality. The unimaginable comes true in our America if we make it happen. But, it requires effort and struggle.
One of the things I love about the ACLU is that it’s an organization that understands we are all in this together. We recognize that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Given what’s at stake in the outcome of this election, I am personally appealing to you for help to fight the forces of intolerance from carrying the day in California next Tuesday.
If you have friends and family in California, please contact them right now, and ask them to vote NO on Proposition 8. You can send them a message here.
We need to make sure people keep in mind that gay people are part of every family and every community — that like everyone else, gay people want the same rights to commit to their partners, to take care of each other and to take responsibility for each other. We shouldn’t deny that, and we shouldn’t write discrimination into any constitution in any state. Certainly, we can’t let that happen in California after the highest court in the state granted gay and lesbian people their full equality.
Unfortunately, due to a vicious, deceitful $30 million advertising blitz, the supporters of Prop 8 may be within days of taking that fundamental right away.
To stop the forces of discrimination from succeeding, we have to win over conflicted voters who aren’t sure they’re ready for gay marriage but who are also uncomfortable going into a voting booth and stripping away people’s rights. With the ACLU contributing time, energy and millions of dollars to the effort, we’re working hard to reach those key voters before next Tuesday.
If you have friends and family in California, please contact them right now, and ask them to vote NO on Proposition 8. Share this email with them. Call them. Direct them to our website for more information.
Don’t let other young people grow up to be afraid to be who they are because of the discrimination and prejudice they might face. Let them see a future that the generation before them couldn’t even dream of — a future as full and equal citizens of the greatest democracy on earth.
As Martin Luther King, Jr. reminded us, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” As we strive to defeat Prop 8 and the injustice it represents, the ACLU is trying to make that arc a little shorter.
On behalf of my Mom and family, and on behalf of all the people who will never face legally-sanctioned discrimination, I thank you for being part of this struggle and for doing everything you can to help.
It is a privilege and honor to have you as allies in this fight for dignity and equality.
With enormous appreciation,
Anthony D. Romero
Executive Director
ACLU
P.S. All the polls show that the vote on Prop 8 could go either way. By making just a few calls or sending just a few emails, you could help make the difference. Please, don’t let this fundamental right be taken away. Send an eCard to everyone you know in California.
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Tags: aids barack obama britney spears celebrity gossip chris, gay, Leads, lesbian, sex, usaNewsom ignores risks, campaigns against Prop. 8
In the last week of what could be one of the most important political fights of his career, Mayor Gavin Newsom is campaigning heavily against Proposition 8, turning to his supporters with pleas to vote and convince their friends and relatives to oppose the same-sex marriage ban.
The mayor is hosting a private fundraiser at his Russian Hill home tonight and has already picked up $125,000 in contributions from those attending the event. This afternoon, he’s holding a forum with employees at Google, and over the next several days he’ll be hitting nearly every major Bay Area radio station and staging rallies around the city.
Newsom says he owes it to his constituents in San Francisco to do everything in his power to fight the initiative. But political analysts note that the outcome of Tuesday’s election could weigh heavily on Newsom’s future in politics, and specifically his potential bid for governor.
At a No on 8 rally at UC Santa Cruz on Tuesday, Newsom told students that he recognized that the outcome of the election could hurt his career - but he wasn’t losing sleep over it.
“The biggest problem in politics today is that we’re risk-adverse. We’re afraid of tomorrow’s headlines,” Newsom said. “I couldn’t care less if the rest of my life I’m only known as the ex-mayor of San Francisco. I will regret nothing about standing up on this issue. I get to go to sleep at night having done the right thing.”
Tuesday’s Santa Cruz event was among more than a dozen Newsom has scheduled over the next several days, all of them focused on viral campaigning, which involves spreading a political message from person to person, these days often via e-mails and text messages.
Newsom is talking almost exclusively to voters who are already on his side, a move that some political observers say could be very effective, but is also convenient because it’s both high-profile and fairly risk-free.
That’s an important distinction for the man who has in recent weeks been the primary target in the campaign in favor of Proposition 8, playing a starring role in the biggest Yes on 8 commercial. Just two weeks ago, political strategists were recommending that Newsom lie low for the rest of the election season to avoid casting a shadow on the campaign against Prop. 8.
“The fact that they’re letting Newsom out of the barn signals that the No on 8 forces are feeling more comfortable. It signals a strategic shift in how the No folks think their campaign is going,” said David McCuan, an associate political studies professor at Sonoma State University. “His role in the No on 8 campaign is cheerleader now.”
Newsom’s main political consultants say it’s been the mayor’s own strategy to reach out to voters. His scheduled events this week are targeted at young voters and people who are heavy Internet users - Google employees, for example.
Eric Jaye, Newsom’s chief political strategist, said it’s extremely rare for the mayor to host fundraisers in his own home and unusual for the mayor to make personal phone calls pleading for help from friends and advisers.
“This isn’t just any campaign,” Jaye said. “This is a direct attack on the fundamental rights of so many of his constituents and friends. He’s doing everything in his power to help defeat this measure. It will mean hundreds of appearances and events and activities in the last 10 days of the campaign.”
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Tags: aids barack obama britney spears celebrity gossip chris, gay, Leads, politics, sexSince you asked …I’m a gay married Mormon in the closet
I am a 40-year-old gay man who is heterosexually married. We have a couple of teenagers and live in a good neighborhood, go to church and from outward appearances have a great life.
But I’m miserable. You see, I have made some really dumb decisions in my life because I haven’t always been happy with life in general.
For example, my life on earth was sprung from two checked-out, laissez-faire parents who gave me no structure. So what did I do about that when I was a teen? I became Mormon. I needed structure, a sense of identity and got it. What did I give up in the deal to become Mormon? Transparency. I already knew I was gay. So I told them I wasn’t, got baptized, served a two-year mission, went to Brigham Young University and got married — all according to script.
When I was single, I felt conflicted. My attractions ran toward men, but I have always enjoyed women as friends. And then I met my wife. We were friends first, so she knew I was gay when we married. We doubted we should get married, but we were getting old by Mormon standards. We were counseled by our church leaders to forget our concerns about my sexual orientation and move ahead with the relationship. They said if we had enough faith and enough trust in God, our marriage would be successful. No one mentioned the immense level of distress we would both suffer almost as quickly as we married. No one told us how to deal with the fact that regardless of our faith, we were a mixed marriage of sorts. Gay man and straight woman. Great as shopping buddies, but not as husband and wife, I think.
So you know how issues like these — those pesky issues that just won’t go away because you don’t talk about them, and how they resurface in odd ways? Yeah, ours have popped up incrementally and collectively throughout our 18-year marriage. We both gained a ton of weight. We are in huge amounts of debt. And we have this enormous secret between us that our kids are trying to figure out — that their dad is gay and this is the reason for the dull ache that is so pervasive in our home, despite the perky Mormonspeak at the breakfast table.
What do we do? She won’t talk about the gay thing and after years of bullying by her on several levels, I want a divorce. But our debt is huge and she hasn’t worked in years (albeit she is well-educated) and we have five more years until our kids are both out of school and on their own in college. I don’t want to stay. I’m getting older and want for us both to be happy.
Gay Mormon From the Not-So-Happy Valley
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Tags: aids barack obama britney spears celebrity gossip chris, gay, Leads, sex
