Catholic lesbian parents speak out about preschool
Posted on March 18, 2010
Filed Under 365Gay, News
We’ve written about the two small kids who were kicked out of a Catholic school [1]by the Archbishop of Denver [2]because their parents are lesbians.
Now the parents are speaking out in their own words.
Here’s a statement from the parents released anonymously through Boulder Pride; it’s long, but worth reading.
The following is a message from the parents of two children being denied re-enrollment at Sacred Heart of Jesus School
We are normal people. We have two children, a nice house, and a dog. We both hold professional jobs in the community.
You would likely pass us on the street and not take much notice.
We work hard, and enjoy spending time with our family, traveling, and being outdoors. What makes us different is that we are a lesbian couple. We are not activists by nature. You have never seen us at protests or marching in parades. Up until this point, we have taken the typical passive approach of voting for candidates that represent our viewpoints and directing our charitable donations to
organizations whose missions we support. We live in a liberal community, where we have always felt safe, comfortable, and accepted.
Certainly over the years there have been times when our sexuality has been an issue, but they have been relatively minor. We had to hire a lawyer to ensure both of our names were on our children’s birth certificates, to protect our rights to inherit each others assets, and establish medical durable power of attorney.
Luckily, we had the financial means to pay the thousands of dollars to do all of this. In the years that we have been in Colorado, laws have since been changed to protect some of these basic rights. We file our taxes as single. We filled out our census as ‘unmarried partners living together’ since we are not able to legally marry. Upon returning from vacation, US Customs would not process us together because we ‘did not qualify as a family’.
These are things that gay and lesbian people deal with every day.
Recently, we found ourselves in the middle of a political firestorm. We went to enroll our oldest child in kindergarten at Sacred Heart of Jesus School, and were told that our children would not be welcome to continue their education there long term because of our sexual orientation.
This came as a shock to us because our children had been attending preschool at Sacred Heart for three years. We had been open about our family situation from the start, and had always felt welcomed by parents and teachers. The past weeks have been very difficult for our family. We were initially very hurt and angry.
We met with school and church administrators to discuss the situation. We were told that families and students need to uphold church doctrine in order for children to be admitted. We were also told that our children would feel uncomfortable when taught about the “family unit”, and teachers might feel too intimidated by their presence to teach church beliefs.
Our answer to this is that there are many families that do not live their lives according to church doctrine. There are divorced parents, children of parents born out of wedlock, non-Catholics, and non-practicing Catholics. Their eligibility has not been questioned. There seems to be a subjective rating system of which sins are more unacceptable.
Regarding the school’s teaching about the ‘family unit’, we are unconcerned. Our children know that their family is different than most. They are well aware that many families have a mom and a dad, and we discuss different family models openly. We have a good understanding of the church’s position on gay and lesbian people. We have never sought approval from the church of our relationship and we would never ask that the school modify its teachings to accommodate our family. We are not threatened by our children hearing different points of view on any issues.
Next page: It is wrong to punish a child for who it’s parents are
[1] http://www.365gay.com/news/catholic-preschool-wont-let-student-return-because-of-lesbian-parents/
[2] http://www.365gay.com/news/archbishop-defends-decision-on-lesbians-children/
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