Father’s Day in a house with lesbian moms.

Posted on June 22, 2009
Filed Under Uncategorized

Perhaps you are wondering what Father’s Day is like in a family with lesbian moms. Me too. Over the 19 years we have been parents, there has been no pattern.

I don’t sense any sadness from our kids about the holiday. It’s not like Valentine’s Day when you don’t have a valentine. But I am not naive. I am sure our kids find themselves wishing for a father from time to time but it remains unspoken. And while I hold my head up very high about the kind of parenting my partner and I provide for our three kids, yes, sometimes on Father’s Day I feel a tiny twinge. I can’t really describe it. It’s just a twinge.

I think it was partially due to that twinge that I lobbied many years ago to get Father’s Day.

Let’s be clear. It was not a gender confusion thing. I just thought it was quite practical. Think about the more thoughtful school or camp forms that don’t ask for “Mother” and “Father” but now ask for “Parent 1″ and “Parent 2.” I’m not suggesting that Hallmark become quite this thoughtful with their holidays but you get the idea. Mother’s Day in a house with lesbian moms, as I wrote about last month, can be a challenge. It’s quite an awesome day on the one hand and yet at the same time, it is not a singularly special day for either of us.

Thus my idea to turn Father’s Day into Jojo Day.

You see, ,my kids call me Jojo. My kids’ friends. My kids’ teachers. My kids’ friends’ parents. Its origin is quite simple. Scout the Elder was Agent Zero.

When my partner Eileen was pregnant with Scout, we talked about the name thing. Eileen had a preference to be called Mom and as she was handling the hard labor (literally), that seemed just right. But what will this baby call you, she asked? I don’t know. Let’s see what she comes up with.

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