He accepted his being gay after 29 years

DEAR EMILY,

I grew up a strong kid, being the third and the youngest child.

Throughout those years, I knew something was awkward in me that I seldom saw among my age group and I tried fighting it.

By now you may have an idea of what I’m talking about.

When we were much younger, I was the defender of the group. I am physically fit and could outrun any boy in my town or give them a tough defensive basketball game or even play a one-o’clock tennis game. I could also intimidate anyone my age, but no one knew I was trembling inside.

One day, I had a fight with a bully and came out the winner. We ended up both hurt and aching. Maybe that’s how I earned the respect of my close friends. I was their hero because I usually sacrificed myself during our childhood games. They all carried those memories with them and some even became my admirers and beaus.

I only had three girlfriends and looking back made me wonder why it ended so soon. Some said I was their ideal guy—good, intelligent and athletic. Still I wasn’t at ease with myself. It took me 29 years to realize, accept and understand that I was gay. I was in denial. This shouldn’t be happening to me. There is no hard and fast rule in being gay. It isn’t like waking up one morning and saying to the world that you’re gay. In my case, it was a gradual process.

A book even mentioned that aromatase deficiency leads to feminist traits among males, a hot subject that most scientists recently linked with homosexuality. When I finally told my friends that I was gay, they said it was a joke. Today, pretty girls flirt with me, and I just let them. It’s up to them to find out. I wrote you not to encourage young people to be like me but to teach them the importance of knowing themselves—to ask for help if they think something is bothering them. A number of kids go into drug addiction. Others commit suicide because they feel “abnormal.”

What’s important is they continue being themselves: that people around them rid themselves of discrimination and homophobia. Gays are equal to everybody—educate not eradicate.

TRIS

See Answer @  He accepted his being gay after 29 years
Inquirer.net, Philippines