What is the purpose of existence? If an omnipotent God is real, why is there injustice in the world? Is humanity intrinsically doomed?
These are just some of the many, many questions that spring to mind when hearing that there’s a ‘Twinks 4 Trump’ movement to support Donald Trump’s run for President.
The movement and associated Twitter account – which is a parody, though the line is getting thinner and thinner with each passing day- is aimed at members of the ‘twink’ gay subculture who are big fans of Trump’s sensationalist, sometimes-homophobic policies.
The account speaks to men who want to see a “daddy” in power, and has amassed 2,500 Twitter follows thus far.
One message reads: “Twinks support #Trump and we don’t care what you think. He will make American gr8 again. He is daddy.”
Others have pledged their ‘support’, with famed YouTube twink Calum McSwiggan joining in the fun.
— Calum McSwiggan (@CalumMcSwiggan) March 3, 2016
Though Trump doesn’t list any specific policies for twinks, we imagine plans to build a wall to keep out bears and jocks will be divisive.
Back in real life, a large number of gay Republicans have rallied behind the billionaire reality TV star-turned-politician despite his policies.
Mr Trump has rallied against equality in recent weeks, telling old Fox News he would likely back a plot to overturn same-sex marriage, and telling evangelical leaders they can “trust” him to protect “traditional marriage”.
In a bid to court right-wingers, he has also assured lobbyists he would not block a Kim Davis-style ‘religious freedom’ law to permit discrimination against gay couples.
One gay Trump supporter wrote recently: “Why in the world would an educated gay atheist even consider voting for Trump in the upcoming presidential election?
“I consider it because I want to steer the GOP away from the status quo. I want to send a clear message to Republicans that they’ve failed and they are a huge part (and really, the cause) of the problem.”
Gay AIDS activist James Driscoll has also thrown his weight behind Donald Trump for President, claiming: “He says he’s religious but he seems basically to be a secularist and he’s not an ideologue.
“He knows how to court the religious vote effectively but he’s not one of them.”
Gay YouTuber Kyle Kittleson also ‘came out’ for Trump, explaining: “Long before Hillary Clinton supported equal marriage and gay rights, Donald Trump supported equal rights for everybody.
“Granted he didn’t want it to be called marriage, but he did advocate for unions with legal equal rights.
“I have a lot of gay friends who totally support Trump but won’t support him publicly.”
Gay porn actor Jesse Jackman has thrown his twink-pounding package behind Trump too – but only on the basis that his nomination would mean an easier victory for Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders.