It had to happen eventually: someone has written a gay erotic novel about a liaison with Donald Trump.
The billionaire reality TV star-turned-politician has attracted a dedicated cult of personality amid his run for US President.
However, author Elijah Daniel has taken it all a bit far with his latest work, ‘Trump Temptation: The Billionaire & The Bellboy’.
The mercifully brief ten-page story, which is available on Amazon, includes some conkers that must surely rival Morrissey for the Bad Sex award.
Here’s some of our favourite bits:
“The door creaked open and there he was, handsome as ever, like a giant melting fat carrot with fake hair.”
“My loins trembled as the scent of toupee adhesive and spray tan swept through my nasal cavity”
“He sat beside me and put his hand on my thigh, caressing me up and down. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to ride the elevator to the top of his Trump Tower.”
Daniel, a 22-year-old comedian from LA, revealed he wrote the masterpiece in just four hours.
He told the New York Daily News: “I was drinking, and I thought it would be funny if I write this stupid and weird story.
“It took me four hours and four bottles of wine.”
It’s already rocketing up the Amazon charts… and reviews have been decidedly positive.
Daniel is already hard at work on a sequel – and is planning a ‘trilogy’ of stories.
And he’s not limiting himself to Donald Trump, either.
The comic added: “I’d love to work on something with Bernie Sanders. Really, anything is possible.”
If he doesn’t call it ‘Feeling the Bern’, we want our money back.