Morrissey wins ‘bad sex award’ for debut novel

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Singer Morrissey has won a ‘bad sex’ award for his debut novel.

The ‘How Soon is Now?’ singer’s debut novel ‘List of the Lost’, won the honour at the Bad Sex in Fiction awards on Tuesday.

The awards, established in 1993 by the then editor of the Literary Review Auberon Waugh, are intended to flag “poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction”.

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The sex scenes in the book, in which he, among other things, refers to “bulbous salutation”, were what won him the honour.

The book was published in September to generally negative reviews, and was the subject of the award, presented by Nancy Dell’Olio on Tuesday.

It tells the story of four Boston relay runners, all cursed by an old man in some woods.

One scene specifically weighed into the decision to award Morrissey with the honour, between characters Ezra and his girlfriend Eliza.

It reads: “At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.”

Others shortlisted for the award were The Martini Shot by George Pelecanos, Book of Numbers, by Joshua Cohen and Before, During, After by Richard Bausch.

Morrissey did not attend the ceremony.