Reader comments · US: Man held at gunpoint, robbed and raped during Grindr hookup · PinkNews

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US: Man held at gunpoint, robbed and raped during Grindr hookup

  • kane

    grindr, safe way to meet a shag

  • Suddenly Last Bummer

    Well if the victim invited the guy into his hotel room for sex at what stage did the meeting become rape? When the victim decided the guy was a minger? Also the headline should state he was raped then robbed. Is there a grindr version of ‘buyer’s remorse’?

    • Johnny

      “Well if the victim invited the guy into his hotel room for sex at what stage did the meeting become rape?”

      I’m kind of guessing the moment the guy pulled out a gun (just no other way to say that one). That may be totally run of the mill for you during your sexual forays but I don’t think it is for most people.

    • funkinwolf

      It doesn’t matter if someone strips naked and begins foreplay. Anyone has the right to withdraw consent.

      • Ali Cat

        I couldn’t agree with you more, no means no, at any point in proceedings.

      • Suddenly Last Bummer

        Strip naked and begin foreplay and then withdraw consent? You sir are what we call in prison a pr1ck tease!

    • Blue

      The moment the victim says “no”.

  • Rehan

    I don’t really want to be unsympathetic, but surely you arrange to meet a complete stranger for sex with some sense that the fantasy might not accord with one choreographed by Disney, don’t you?

    • Cal

      So he was asking for it, Rehan?

      • Rehan

        Certainly not, but if you willingly put yourself in a potentially dangerous situation it would be best to be prepared for the possibility of things not going quite to plan. If you walk blithely down a dark deserted street in a rough area wearing a Rolex and talking into an expensive phone you’re not asking to be mugged, yet it’s not a terribly intelligent thing to do, is it?

        • Cal

          I have never used those hook-up apps and I imagine there is an element of risk involved. I believe millions of encounters happen on Grindr daily and it is extremely rare that things go awry. This chap therefore could be considered more unlucky than foolish.

  • Silly Old Bastard

    Man travels to city. Leaves long term partner behind, with cheating on his mind.

    • Aaron Rosenberg

      Where does it say anything about cheating or a long-term partner?

      • Silly Old Bastard

        Trusting soul aren’t you?

        • Aaron Rosenberg

          Trusting? That would be an issue only if I knew that the man were in a monogamous relationship, and I know no such thing, nor do you. To decide he is cheating on someone without knowing might satisfy something in you, but you’d do well to remember that you’re ignorant on the matter.

  • Cakeboy69

    Basic rule for these sites is to meet in a mutually decided, public place. Clearly this person missed the memo.

  • nzchicago

    If you are going to rape someone, what’s the point of getting a victim off Grindr who was going to have sex with you in the first place? Seems to defeat the whole purpose.

    That, and the fact that the rapist has a distinctive tattoo on his hand that he didn’t bother to hide and which will probably make him very easy to capture, makes me think this guy was not too bright.

    • Rehan

      In many if not most cases rape is an issue of power rather than sex.

      • nzchicago

        I was being somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but what you say is exactly my point. If the victim was out looking for sex, that takes away the power aspect for the rapist to a great extent. The power comes from the use of force on an unwilling victim – the more unwilling, the more it creates the feeling of power. Finding someone off of Grindr undercuts that.

        Couldn’t the rapist have just hired a prostitute, had sex, and then refused to pay? That would be an even weaker form of rape.

        That was not a serious comment, by the way.

  • Daniel

    An awful set of events, but also a very stark reminder that if you are going on what is effectively a blind date (meeting someone from a dating app), you do it in a public place, and without giving out details such as location or home address.
    It seems this poor chap forgot the basic rules of “meets” and paid an awful price for it.
    As an aside, it seems a little odd to infer that the dating app was the cause “I will no longer be doing any type of app like that again. I’m just not.” Surely it would be more appropriate to take better precautions in future? One can never completely avoid horrors like this, but also one can never be too safe.

  • Keith Patrick Murphy

    This is why I always ONLY meet guys from Grindr in public places like a bar or restaurant

  • Junior

    I agree with Rehan’s second comment, you can never say someone was “asking for it” but I do think that you have to be very cautious when using any kind of online hook-up, as fun as the thrill of mystery may seem, you have to protect yourself. I feel for this guy and the trauma he’ll now be left to deal with and I hope I never hear a story like this closer to home.

  • Ryan Williams

    It reveals a lot about peoples’ mentalities regarding rape when you flip the gender from girl to guy. Some of the comments on this thread… wow.

  • S

    thoughts are with the man at this difficult time. having gone through rape myself and seen all the horrible thoughtless comments people made when it was going through the courts. Its important to know that you are not alone. if you do happen to read this ignore all the nasty comments and head over to for some self help and advice off other survivors or find other agencies that can help you. stick in there with them and within time you will begin to feel better. its a long and slow process but things do eventually get better. dont blame yourself, you were not to know what was going to happen. even if you did come to put yourself in that situation it is not your fault. take care of yourself.

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