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UK: Gay man murdered wife with vacuum cleaner pipe in order to hide sexuality

  • I don’t even know where to begin, there is SO much wrong with this. Firstly, there’s the immense pressure his family must have put on him to ‘conform’. By them making him marry against his will, and him possibly believing he can ‘get over it’ drove him to murder!

    Then you have to question his support network (in terms of friends etc). It’s very likely he knew some gay people, what did they think about his marriage proposals?

    I personally feel pity for him but also for his family, not only have they lost their son, but they also have to explain to their daughter-in-laws family why they let something like this continue. Surely if they didn’t pressurise him to get married or showed him that homosexuality is not a problem, none of this would happen. He would be in a better place and she would be alive.

    It’s important to note, this is NOT primarily the fault of Jasvir, it’s of his family and extended community. Please take note, homosexuality within Sikhism is NOT an issue, these cases need to be avoided!

    • isambard2000

      “this is NOT primarily the fault of Jasvir”

      Err, yes it very much is primarily the fault of Jasvir.

    • Rehan

      Though I sympathise with most of your post I agree with isambard2000: ultimately the fault is unquestionably with Jasvir – this is the UK, not South Asia, if he wanted to live an independent life it might have been hard, but not impossible. It certainly didn’t have to involve destroying someone else’s life.

    • JohnM

      Sorry mate, crime is an individual act and this is why our laws punish individuals and not groups of people. ‘Society made him do it’ doesn’t wash. *He* did it.

      • Of course it is entirely Jasvir’s fault. He was the one killed his wife.
        Any pressure put on him is up to him to deal with
        Us older men had to put up with many years of social pressure to conform but we didn’t kill people

  • Yet another case of religion causing heartache and death
    Are we going to see the same in Cape Town with Shrien Dewani?

    • JohnM

      To be frank, I never thought the motive behind the Dewani allegations might be true until I read this bit of news here. I thought killing your wife because she might find out you are gay was so preposterous, I brushed it off. How wrong I was.

      • Many faith communities put enormous pressure of members to conform.
        We in the west are largely blessed with fairly liberal societies who no longer pressure us into conforming

    • gutaitas

      So desperate was he that no one finds out he’s gay that he ended up being outed on national newspapers just before being shipped to prison. What a moron!

  • ian123

    Some of the people who consider this tragic case will also in the next breath oppose marriage equality??????

  • joe

    Yet again we come across a culture that holds fast to out dated beliefs, boarding on the stone age. If someone feels that their family will disown then because they happen to be Gay is sad beyond words. No-one regardless of race, creed, beliefs, or gender should be afraid of standing up and saying their Gay. This is such a pitiful story of a pitiful guy.

  • Suddenly Last Bummer

    Just as well he got life. Would put a tenner on him converting to Islam whilst he’s inside and blaming gays for his plight.

  • Calum Bennachie

    While Jasvir is the one who committed the crime, and rightly held to account, his family, and others within his community, who seek to enforce compulsory heterosexuality must also accept some of the blame. Their traditional view of family and marriage placed a young woman at risk and made a young man feel he had no other option. I feel there is little doubt, and contrary to law, they sought dowry as well. If they did, this should be repaid several times over. They should also apologise to her family and to the public, and should also seek to ensure this doesn’t happen again by campaigning against cultural enforcement of compulsory heterosexuality.

  • Philip Breen

    All in all, this is probably the saddest case of its kind I have ever known of and feel desperately sorry for everybody involved.

    • Rumbelow

      An absolute tragedy for all involved and though Jasvir must directly take the blame for his terrible and desperate act others were indirectly complicit, just such a tragic situation and very sad.

  • Alex

    I’m sorry but as far as I’m concerned the fault lies completely with Jasvir and I find it awful that some are blaming “family pressure” or religion for the brutal death of a woman and feeling sorry for him simply because he’s gay.

    Some cultures and religions try to force heterosexuality, but this is not a man living in the middle of conservative India with no other option, it is a man living and working in the UK with all the freedoms from threat that entails, going to gay bars, being at least partially open about his sexuality, who still thought it was better to trick a girl into marrying him, before murdering her and attempting to incinerate the body rather than upset his mother. That is a ridiculous excuse for a complete lack of morality.

    Yes the UK needs to work with ethnic groups to prevent things like arranged marriages or pressurised marriages of convenience etc, but murder is still murder, and this is a particularly heinous one at that. I cannot imagine that murder via vacuum cleaner will have been pleasant or particularly quick.

  • p

    All this focus on a guy’s sexuality yet a woman has been murdered…Someone’s sexuality does not give them the right to kill.

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