Enter your email address to receive our daily LGBT news roundup

You're free to unsubscribe at any time.

Tom Daley: I’m definitely gay not bisexual

  • Jason Quinn

    LOL!

    Mawmmy, I’m a Gay Mawn Nowwww

  • Brett Gibson

    Told you so, told you so, told ya told ya, told you so.

  • Lettice Protheroe

    Bless his heart, but this really cannot be news to anyone……………….

  • Locus Solus

    :( It’s a shame he had to further the stereotype of “Bi now gay later” but I’m happy he’s happy now, and knows who he is. Just saying though, some of us actually are bisexual. Try not to let confirmation bias make you think we don’t exist. :/

    • Keith Patrick Murphy

      It doesn’t belittle bisexuality and he is not saying that bisexuality is not real. I initially came out as bi, and then gay. But that doesn’t mean I think that bisexuality is not real. There are plenty of bisexuals.

      • http://www.pariss.info Pariss

        I think a lot of people go down the “bi now, gay later” route as a means of gently easing themselves into being gay

        • Keith Patrick Murphy

          Very through, its an understandable stepping stone

      • Locus Solus

        “It doesn’t belittle bisexuality”
        I’ve got to disagree with you there, from my own experience “bi now gay later” has become the most visible expression of “bisexuality”. And the reason why people end up treating bi guys like they are in denial. You can’t see how a bunch of gay guys publicly proclaiming they are bi undermines legitimate bisexuals? It surely doesn’t take much to put yourself in that position. :(

        • Keith Patrick Murphy

          It is not due to homosexuals thinking they are bi before accepting they are homosexual. That is due to some non LGBT being ignorant on what a persons has to go though when they are accepting their sexuality.

          If a bunch of gay guys claim they are bisexual then decide they are not after a while. That is no reflection on you, in fact its actually none of your business

          • Not Telling

            Actually it’s more of an LGBT-community issue than anything else. I think since many (if not most) gay people go through a phase of thinking they may not be 100% gay (while figuring out their sexuality), they can start believing that this is the case for all bisexuals – that it’s just a phase. And stories like these just confirm people’s biases.

            Of course I don’t blame anyone for coming out as bisexual first. They’re just trying to find the easiest way to clamber out of the closet, but it isn’t without it’s wider social implications. Just look at all the “we already knew” comments.

      • gutaitas

        I absolutely agree with Locus Solus. I understand that many gay people choose to come out as bi before fully admitting they are gay. Perhaps some don’t even know how to define themselves yet. And that’s perfectly okay for them to do so. But the fact remains that many of us bisexuals do experience a constant flow of criticism by others who claim we are just too afraid to admit we’re gay. And that is immensely annoying! It’s exactly the same thing as what those annoying twats do to gays when they tell them it’s just a phase. it’s not! I have been attracted to men and women all my life. My family and friends know about it and are perfectly comfortable with it. So why would I pretend to be attracted to women if all those around me accept that I am attracted to men? It’s total bollocks. And the ironic thing is, I get this much more from the gay people I know than from the straight people I know… Just stop it already.

        • temirzhan

          Ok. But do you actually sleep with women on a regular basis? Anyone can be attracted to anyone but if you don’t actually penetrate women, your being bisexual is not that certain.

          • gutaitas

            Wow! There’s actually nothing in that comment that deserves any attention, to be quite honest. You seem to have it all figured out for me. Thanks dude!

          • temirzhan

            If there was nothing in my comment that deserved attention, why did you comment back? You did pay attention.

            So you sleep with men only and call yourself a bisexual? That’s an interesting concept :)

          • gutaitas

            When I said your comment did not deserve attention I meant it was clear to me that addressing your points would prove fruitless in light of the logic behind them, but since you insist, I will spare a few moments to explain to you why that is:

            First of all, where in my two posts have I even mentioned whom I sleep with, and how can you extrapolate the assumption that I sleep only with men? And how is it relevant or any of your damn business anyway?

            Secondly, you clearly fail to understand what bisexuality means, and homo and heterosexuality too for that matter. It is not about whom you sleep with, it’s about what gender(s) you’re attracted to. If it were about whom you sleep with, then married closeted gay men would be straight, and straight men doing gay-for-pay porn would be gay. See how that logic fails you?

            Thirdly (and lastly, as I don’t intend to waste my time on this any more than I already have), you fail to add to the equation all the people who choose not to sleep around. In your own words:

            “But do you actually sleep with women on a regular basis? Anyone can be attracted to anyone but if you don’t actually penetrate women, your being bisexual is not that certain.”

            So, if I’m bisexual and in a relationship with a man, I would have to cheat on him with women to satisfy your ridiculous definition of bisexuality? That makes plenty of sense, right? Your flawed logic dictates that someone is gay when sleeping with someone of their gender, and straight when sleeping with someone of the opposite gender. What about when you’re not sleeping with anyone? Do you then become asexual? Anyway, I think this pretty much explains my case. If you still fail to get it, then nothing I could possibly say will because you’re either too arrogant to look past your own nose, or you’re a troll. Either way it’s not worth the bother. Have a nice day.

      • Kelly

        Well you shouldn’t have lied then, should you

        • Keith Patrick Murphy

          Lied? What the hell are you talking about? Don’t make assumptions about people you don’t know.

          I lied about NOTHING! I really thought I was bisexual and I was being honest about my thoughts at the time. The truth is I was still very confused about my sexuality deep down. I was wrong about what my sexuality really is. I confused attraction for plutonic admiration.

          When I realised I am actually gay I admitted it. I didn’t lie about anything you ignoramus!

  • Mike

    Tom darling that’s the biggest non surprise in the world! But we love you !

  • Eduard

    There was a controversy about “bisexual erasure” in the way some media reported his coming out, which now proved to be false. But that wasn’t the only thing. There was an outcry against “labeling” people as either gay or bisexual, which, we were told, was not how the young generation wants to be perceived (implying that being gay or bisexual was a bad thing). There was also a lot of talk about “sexual fluidity”, which implied that the likes of us who think we are gay are actually deluded.
    Good for Daley for sorting it out.

    • Hue-Man

      Having grown up before gays existed, I interpret the conversation as “young people don’t like labels”. This doesn’t suggest a value judgment on gay, bi, or straight but an attempt to avoid the silos that our culture tries to apply to human sexuality. They are welcome to call or not call themselves whatever they want (my guess is that they’ll get tired of playing Schrodinger’s Cat at some point in their lives).

  • GulliverUK

    I liked him when the world thought he was straight. I like him even more when he said he was bisexual – how brave was that! And I like him no more or less when he said he’s gay. I mostly feel really happy that we live in a place and time when he can be who he wants to be, and with whom he wants to be, and enjoy all the same rights and freedoms as anybody else – that is awesome. And he’s a perfect role model for other gay youth, to know they will be allowed to be themselves, to be free.

    • Locus Solus

      I really like your positivity, it makes a nice change to read positive comments here! :) But for me, well I just feel frustrated; when Tom came out by stating confidently “I’m attracted to girls and guys” I felt like we finally had a great young bisexual role model. But for him to U-turn and say I’m 100% gay, thus perpetuating the bi-now-gay-later stereotype, well it just really let the air out of my tiers :(

      I’m glad he’s happy and honest about himself now, I just wish it wasn’t at the expense of the bisexual community.

    • Nathan

      When the world thought he was straight? Hahahahaha! Don’t make us laugh :P

    • Elisabeth

      What sentimental tosh

  • JohnMC

    Shame on the lot of you. Smug, knowing, hindsight. Individual experience a nice source of patronising entertainment – even the more well-meaning ones. Possibility, likelihood, probability NOT THE SAME as knowing, Pretending to be sure about someone’s sexuality as a kind of self-aggrandisement, showing off your worldliness, boasting of your perceptiveness. Have any of you considers what others might think of some of YOUR personality traits, smirking behind your back at your quirks which ‘sadly’ you are not aware of?

    • Beelzeebub

      Your point being?

      • JohnMC

        Pretty clear, I think

    • Brett Gibson

      So you’re likening people knowing that he was gay (because believe it or not, we know from our OWN life experiences) to people smirking behind people’s back about ‘quirks’ that we are ‘sadly’ unaware of.

      At least we don’t suffer from a severe case of internalised homophobia. Sort yourself out mate.

      • JohnMC

        Hi! I think you misunderstand me. My concern was the oh-so-knowing response of many people, even well-meaning ones. “I wonder if he’s gay” or “I reckon he is gay” turning into “I knew he was gay all along.” often said with a distinct tone of relish, though not in all instances. My final point was an attempt (perhaps not best expressed) to puncture people’s smugness a bit.
        And what about straight people who might appear gay, provoke ‘knowing’ speculation and not be gay?

  • Lee W Dalgleish

    I’m not surprised to be honest. I don’t blame him or think less of him for coming out with this. I was guilty of the same at 20. I thought it was an easier way of coming to grips with what I had known for years. i just didn’t want to upset or disappoint people. Obviously now I know that no one was either of those things. it was just the way I felt after growing up and seeing some rather questionable views on gay people. Good on him for feeling like he can be completely open and honest now. It’s a shame that some will attack him for being Bi first or not being completely open. The thing is. it’s his life and it’s his choice how he chooses to come out. Everyone is different and it can’t be easy for a young lad in the limelight to do such a thing. It was hard enough for me and I am a nobody! lol
    I hope he can be truly happy now with himself and not worry about what people think.

    • Carl

      To me, I’m angry that he lied and has helped to propagate the lie that us bisexuals don’t exist. Had he come out as gay from the start I’d back him 100%. But he didn’t. He took the cowardly way out and in the process has hurt a community that – along with our Transgender brothers and sisters – is definitely the ugly stepchild in the LGBT community. He deserves nothing but scorn for his lies and deception.

      This isn’t twenty years ago, this is today. There was no need for this cowardly lie in today’s society, just to make it easier on him. Had it no larger impact, I likely wouldn’t care. But he’s a national figure and it HAS had an impact on the Bisexual community. First it was a HUGE positive, but now it has emerged that it was all a lie and is helping to spread the lie that us bisexuals don’t exist, that coming out as bi is a ‘stepping stone’ to coming out as gay. My support for this coward is now at zero.

      • Lee W Dalgleish

        I think you are being very OTT. He hasn’t propagated anything. He wasn’t cowardly. Cut the guy some slack for goodness sake. I came out as Bi, it doesn’t mean I propagated anything. The only people that are going to use this against Bi people are the ignorant and those with an agenda. Those are the people to be mad at, not a young lad who has struggled with his sexuality. We’ve all (pretty much) been there. It saddens me when people within our own community attack each other and get vicious when there is no reason to be so

        • Carl

          No reason?! No reason?! Are you kidding or just delusional?

          Every day bisexuals face comments along the lines of ‘you’ll come out properly one day’ and stunts like this from a major public figure only support those prejudices. Already we are seeing people pointing and saying stuff like ‘see, it is just a phase’.

          He is in the public eye, many Bi teens saw him and it gave them the strength to come out as Bi and now that’s gone. Worse, he ‘was’ Bi and now he’s gay, how many will face pressure to change ‘like that Tom did’? By his actions he has provided support to and propagated the myth that bisexuality isn’t real. That’s real harm, right there.

          • Bobbleobble

            Again you’re making enormous assumptions and blaming Tom for the ignorance of others, none of which is fair or reasonable.

          • Carl

            I’m not blaming him *for* their ignorance, but for providing the means for them to *support* their ignorance, a very different thing and I’m sorry you’re too blind to see the huge difference in the two.

          • bobbleobble

            I don’t see any difference. They are ignorant, they don’t need any help from us. Sure some people might use Tom to attack bisexuals but they’re already using him to attack gay people anyway. It’s the ignorant you should be angry at, not Tom.

          • Lee W Dalgleish

            Delusional? I think you need to pick up the toys you’ve thrown out of the pram mate. He never said he was Bisexual. That was a label the media pretty much gave him. He never officially said it. He said he still found girls attractive.

            Maybe go have a drink and a bit of cake and calm the F down

          • AdrianT

            Excellent comment Lee!

          • Anon

            maybe somewhat OT? But I have to point out that gay people get invalidating comments as well, especially lesbians. “You haven’t found the right man”, “You were abused and turned into a man-hater”, “You just need a good dicking”. Many people doubt the existence of homosexuality, especially the existence of lesbianism. Sadly, it is often homophobic bisexuals who are making the invalidating comments. “Everybody is sexually fluid”, “Every one is bisexual”, “No one is exclusively gay or straight”, “Hearts not parts”, etc. Just as gay people can mistreat bisexual people, so can bisexual people mistreat gay people. It’s not a one-way street.

        • Anon

          The reason that so many bisexuals attack gay people is because, unfortunately, many bisexual people are homophobic. It doesn’t get discussed much though. There is a lot of talk about how gay people are awful oppressors, bigoted, biphobic, transphobic, etc. But bisexual people can be just as bigoted, homophobic, transphobic, etc. I’m sick and tired of the trope of “evil privileged gay oppressors” vs “poor widdle bisexual victims”. There’s more to it than that.

      • http://www.pariss.info Pariss

        Maybe he didn’t lie. Maybe he THOUGHT he was bisexual until he settled into his relationship and realised that gay sex is better than the other ;)

      • GulliverUK

        You’re not the ‘ugly stepchild’. A friend asked if two days ago if I would date someone who was bisexual, without needing to think I said yes, because I would (although, obviously, it would be the male bisexual :-p).

      • Rehan

        For goodness’ sake, the boy is only 19 and in the throes of what may be his first time in love – he may not have known his own mind (or cock, to be blunt), indeed he may still not! Don’t you think you’re expecting rather a lot of someone who, as far as I know, never intended to be a spokesperson on matters of sex and sexuality?

      • Paul J

        Tom didn’t say he was bisexual; he didn’t pin any label on himself. Yes, it would have been better if he hadn’t said rubbish about still fancying girls, but he was taking a huge risk, as he could have been dropped like a stone by sponsors, TV and magazines. Remember, that he many of those closest to him were advising him to stay quiet and even today, you don’t need many more than 10 fingers to count the number of out sportsmen. Tom is no coward.
        He has undoubtedly made it easier for other sports people to come out as well as ordinary people. It’s shown a lot of young people that you can even come out in the public eye and survive unscathed. Perhaps the next young star to come out won’t need to hint that maybe there is a still a chance for his legion of female fans.
        You referred to our “Transgender brothers and sisters”. You have forgotten that Tom is our brother. Why are we so insecure that we rush to condemn our brothers and sisters for “hurting our community”, rather than supporting them? Tom does not deserve our “scorn”; he deserves our support. If coming out has placed him in the position of having to be the perfect representation of a gay man and never putting a foot wrong, then it was hardly “cowardly”. It was a very brave act indeed.

        • Carl

          Unless he uses a very different version of the English language to the rest of those who speak it, a sentence saying that he is attracted to men and women IS saying that he is bisexual, just with different words.

          If I said I travel to work on a manually operated vehicle with two wheels, a seat, handlebars, brakes and peddles that when operated turn a chain that turns the rear wheel providing motion we all know exactly what I am talking about without me ever having to say the word ‘bicycle’.

          And I’m sorry, but I will NEVER support a coward who uses another community as a shield because it’s risky to come out. If it was still a huge risk like you say, then why lie at all? Why not just take the plunge? It makes no sense other than cowardice.

          His actions have given credence to the grievous lie that bisexuality is a stepping stone to ‘coming out properly’, a pile of crud that I have encountered many, many time over the years – usually from gay men (heterosexual men are slightly different: when they find out I like men and women, they fixate on the men part and I become ‘gay’ to their perception, then they act surprised when I comment on a hot woman). The bisexual community has worked very, very hard to combat that blatant lie and as public a figure as Daley pulling this cowardly stunt is extremely harmful to the message that bisexuality is real and not a phase.

          • Paul J

            You are showing the same intolerance and hatred that bigots have shown to all people with “non-traditional” sexuality throughout the ages. Whatever cross you feel you have to bear, it is not Tom Daley’s fault and all of us have repeatedly encountered myths and misunderstanding, whether gay, lesbian, bi or transgender. Adding to the torrent of abuse that we ALL face is not helpful. Save your scorn for the real enemies.

          • Garry

            confused.com – Using the bisexual community as a shield implies that society is more accepting of this sexuality. Yet if wider society believes bisexuality is just a step to coming out properly, wouldn’t this make it a useless shield to hide behind as the heterosexual power base would instantly assume he meant he was gay, as your argument suggests a lack of belief in a bisexual community? Outside a Harry Potter film, can a shield regarded as invisible if not non-existent have any worth as a protective force from the backlash he may have feared by saying he was gay? Isn’t is possible at his age that he was still innocently trying to work things out, rather than cynically “using another community”?

      • Right-Minded

        What bisexual community?

  • http://hunteratrandom.blogspot.com/ rmthunter

    He’s still adorable.

  • Mike

    Ouch smug with hindsight eh? Well some of us have what is called A Gaydar, Honey!

  • Rob

    Er, who cares? Can you tell your PR agent to tone it down a little, dear. You are starting to get a little, how shall we say, irritating…

  • Pet

    I’m really happy for him. I like him. I wish him all the best in life, and I wish him and Lance all the best too. They’ve been together for a year now.

  • Keith Patrick Murphy

    His boyfriend is so lucky. He’s such a cute guy

  • colonelkira

    And still no one cares!

    • Bobbleobble

      And yet you took the time to comment on a story that apparently you care so little about. That doesn’t add up to me.

  • Carl

    Had he had the courage to come out as gay from the start I would continue to back him completely, sports in general need more openly LGBT participants. But he lied. He used another community to hide his true sexuality and in the process helped to propagate the lie that bisexuals don’t exist, that saying you are bisexual is merely a stepping stone to ‘coming out properly’.

    Because of that, my support of this gutless coward has dropped to a big fat zero. He lied because he was scared coming out? Guess what, kid – for most people, coming out is a big, scary event and most of us DON’T LIE when we do it, we tell the truth – that’s kind of the point of coming out, in case you missed it. You might have made coming out easier on yourself, but you’ve harmed an entire community in doing so! I’ve already seen posts espousing the sentiments of ‘see, it IS just a phase on the way to coming out as gay’. You owe everyone and especially the Bisexual community a humble, grovelling apology for your lies and deception, you spineless coward.

    And yes, I AM angry, in case you missed it. I am tired of my community being used in this way, it propagates baseless, unhealthy stereotypes.

    • Lee W Dalgleish

      I think that’s a bit harsh to be honest. Everyone has their own struggles when coming out. Not everyone tells the truth straight away through fear of how it will be received. He’s a well known celebrity so the spotlight is on him more than the rest of us. More people are paying attention. Instead of berating him, we should be more supportive. The only people to blame are the idiots who are so ignorant that they don’t understand bisexuality.

      • Carl

        Exactly because the spotlight is on him is why he should have been honest and not LIED. He used an entire community as a sacrificial lamb to make his coming out easier! It’s pathetic and has caused harm to that community, continuing the myth that bisexuality isn’t real.

        I will not support a coward who lied (and lets not forget that coming out is about being honest, about no longer hiding who we are and about stopping lying) and harmed my community in doing so. If I had a pound everytime I tell gay men that I am bisexual and hear the ‘you’ll come out properly one day’ crap, I’d be a lot richer than I am now. And his move helps support that notion. He deserves nothing but scorn for this, end of story. This isn’t a tale of courage, it’s one of cowardice.

        Coming out IS hard. Lying only makes it harder. And lying when you’re a major public figure only compounds the issue. He needs to make a full public apology for the damage he has done to the bisexual community.

        • Bobbleobble

          Blimey, who knew Tom Daley had the power to so utterly decimate the bisexual community. You’re overreacting hugely and doing your cause a genuine disservice in doing so. You have no evidence that Tom lied. And even if he did, you acknowledge how difficult it is to come out, that’s true for Tom too. It’s a lot to come to terms with even more so when you’re in the public eye.

          If people are making posts about ‘bi now gay later’ then that’s down to their ignorance, not what Tom has done.

          • Carl

            Over-reacting because a celebrity, much beloved by millions, used us as a human shield? Yeah, right…

          • Bobbleobble

            Overreacting because you’re blaming someone for other’s actions. Because even if Tom did come out as bi because it was the easier option it’s not his fault that society has made that the easier option. You’re attacking the wrong people and you’re borderline hysterical.

        • Lee W Dalgleish

          He doesn’t need to make any such apology. I think you are doing yourself no favours. i have no qualms with bi people. I know they exist and wouldn’t say otherwise. Tom hasn’t insulted anyone or denied their existence.

        • tank90

          He never came out as Bi gay straight curiuos or anything. Why are you saying he did, he said he was in a same sex relationship and was happy, but he wasn’t going to rule out having a relationship with a girl. All hes done now is say actually I don’t think I’d ever be happy in a relationship with a woman. So whats your beef with him “coming out as Bi” when he didn’t?

          I get you don’t like him but why twist what he has said so you can get on your soap box to say ‘I’m bi and I’ve had enough of gay people coming out as bi first because people are asking me when I’m gonna come out gay’. It just makes you look bitter and twisted that you have to be so hard on him, he has had to come to terms with alot in his short life so far. His dad being dianogised with cancer, him being caterpolted into fame then his dad dieing before he was ready to loose his dad all that whilst battling with his own sexuallity then thinking do I don’t I, how many sponsers will drop me, as that is one of his main sources of income to do the sport he loves.

    • bobbleobble

      How do you know it was a lie? You’re assuming an awful lot there and putting far too much on the shoulders of one individual. If he was genuinely acting in the way you seem to think then why would he make this statement barely 5 months later? Why not continue the deception?

      • Carl

        Because everyone knows their sexuality, that’s a core defence the LGBT community use when people ask ‘how do you know?’. I do not believe the people who ‘come out gradually’. In every case, when you dig around you find that they always knew and were just pretending. You don’t confuse being attracted to men with being attracted to men and women.

        My opinion? He was testing the waters. He got a huge positive reaction and this is the result. The truth. As opposed to the lie he spread before.

        • Bobbleobble

          Your opinion, not fact. And it isn’t as straight forward as you claim it to be. I was hugely confused when I was coming to terms with my sexuality, I was eighteen before I’d genuinely accepted in myself that I was gay and not bisexual partly because at the time I desperately didn’t want to be gay. I think you’re being hugely unfair and unkind.

          • Carl

            Oddly enough, after twenty years of being told that I don’t exist or that I’ll “come out properly” one day, I’ve had enough of this utter bullshit and I refuse to coddle people who use and abuse my community to make their coming out a little easier because it’s a hard time. Coming out is rarely easy, but lying and hiding only makes it worse. It’s certainly not praise-worthy. Coming out is about being honest and there is nothing honest in claiming to be what you are not.

          • bobbleobble

            And assuming that someone is lying when you have no evidence of that fact is narrow minded and unfair. You’re blaming Tom for the ignorance of others and that is unreasonable.

            Even so, coming out is hard and like it or not some gay men do come out as bi first because it’s easier. It’s not perhaps their finest hour but it’s also terrifying to admit to yourself never mind other people that you are gay. And when you’re in the public eye coming out is even harder. Tom’s already had the likes of evil Andrea telling everyone that he’s only gay because his dad died. I think you’re being unduly harsh and attacking the wrong people.

          • Serkan M

            How do you think that makes bi people feel hmmm?

          • Anon

            How do you think that it makes gay men and lesbians feel to see bi people regularly engage in homophobia, unfairly single out gay people for attack, and diminish the severity of anti-gay oppression? Not good, not good.

          • Carl

            Odd, I personally haven’t seen ANY of that. I have seen plenty of the reverse though. Heck, gay men can be some of the most virulently biphobic people around.

          • Anon

            Good grief. Homos are not oppressing you. Gay people are not an oppressive class and you are not put upon by ~dastardly homosexuals. Get a grip.

          • Carl

            I think you need to go back to school and learn how to READ. I said nothing – N O T H I N G (hope that made it easier for you to understand) – about ‘dastardly homosexuals’ (says a lot about you that perceive gays and lesbians in that manner, I think you may have issues). My point has been about one person using another community (one that is routinely the target of abuse from both the hetero and homosexual communities) as a shield to make his coming out easier on himself and in the process helping to propagate the lie that bisexuality is just a ‘phase’ before coming out as gay. How you got from that simple criticism to ‘dastardly homosexuals’ I have NO idea, you seem very paranoid.

          • Seth

            Regardless, this just adds to the idea that those with same-gender attractions are homosexuals. People call you gay by default when you say you’re attracted to guys/girls. Bisexuality is never on most people’s minds when it comes to sexuality.

            I’m sad Tom Daley had to use bisexuality selfishly, saying he FANCIED GIRLS, which is a blatant lie now.

            (Anyone who doesn’t get it, I only wish you had no visibility)

          • Barry Scarfe

            I agree wholeheartedly. Most people in society now accept that gays exist and that their sexuality is not something that was freely and consciously ‘chosen’ but when you talk to to these same apparently enlightened and tolerant individuals about the fact that some men and women have sexual and emotional attractions to some members of BOTH the opposite AND their own gender they look at you as if you are a freak. Bisexuality is really not understood widely and biphobia is still very much present and this sort of thing doesn’t help and reinforces the existing strong levels of misunderstanding and prejudice.

          • Anon

            Please don’t diminish the struggles of gay men and lesbians in an attempt to address bisexual problems. Bisexuals face oppression, and sometimes in ways that are unique to bisexuals, but it is simply false to portray it as being easier to be gay or lesbian. It is not easy or a privilege to be homosexual. Everybody in the LGBT community faces oppression. It’s not a competition.

          • Barry Scarfe

            I agree there is still too much prejudice and misunderstanding in society about gays and lesbians but I would say that the vast majority of people simply don’t understand bisexuality and even the most tolerant individuals are normally still pretty prejudiced about bisexuals. Very few people think genuine bisexuals even exist!

          • Anon

            Seth, you are taking a young gay man’s confusion and struggle over coming out and making it all about yourself and your community. It is you that is being selfish. And homophobic, by the way, by so callously disregarding what gay men have to deal with growing up and coming out. As for visibility? LOL. Apparently, gay people don’t have problems with visibility? Nope, only poor bisexuals have these problems! Come on now.

    • CHBrighton

      Come on, lighten up. He’s only 19 and living in the full glare of public interest. Who knows what his inner feelings were telling him last December, but he has made a very strong statement now. He clearly feels much more comfortable in his skin and is being as open and honest as he possibly can be. He’s still a great role model for young people and, if anything, the ‘slight diversion’ in his original coming out statement probably shows how difficult it still is for people to come out either as bisexual or as gay.

    • val

      Carl, he’s a 19 year old boy who’s finding himself while carrying a huge spotlight on his head. He doesn’t owe you or your community anything. It’s not his responsibility. Give him some space and get a life.

      • Carl

        Oh, so because he’s young he gets a free pass? No, sorry, that’s not how life works. He’s an adult and he used another group of people to make his coming out easier. That’s LOW. It’s f’ed up. And it deserves nothing but criticism, certainly not praise.

    • http://twrl.github.com/ Tom Robbins

      Except that he didn’t come out as being bi. He didn’t come out as anything, except being in a same-sex relationship. What you’re angry with seems to be your own assumptions.

      • Carl

        Well, unless he uses a very different version of English to every one else, a sentence that states he is attracted to men AND women is saying that he is bisexual without using the word. I travel to work on a manually operated vehicle with two wheels, handlebars, brakes, a seat and pedals that when moved by my feet rotate a chain that in turn rotates the rear wheel, providing motive force.

        Now, notice that I never used the word bicycle in that seemingly irrelevant piece of information. However, I’m sure everyone knew straight away what I was talking about. So, we see that a sentence can clearly make a point whilst avoiding a specific word. He said he was attracted to men and women, that IS saying he is bisexual, no matter what way you look at it. Pointing out that he never said the words gay or bi is grasping at straws.

    • Serkan M

      THANK YOU!!!!! Finally!!! Someone who has the balls to tell the truth. Just because he dives, somehow his coming out is more important. Let me tell you this….my coming out was hell, but you don’t see me branding it across television.

      • anakinmcfly

        His coming out isn’t more important because he dives; it’s more important because he’s famous, and thus influences a lot more people. A non-celeb coming out will barely make a splash, no pun intended. But someone whom lots of people know – that’s huge, and has the opportunity to affect so many, whether in assuring LGBT kids that they’re not alone, spreading awareness, giving others the courage to come out, challenging stereotypes, and so on.

    • Johnny

      As an out bi man, I empathise with your anger, but I feel it’s misdirected. I hate biphobia and it is a real problem in the gay community as well as mainstream straight society. But Tom Daley isn’t the reason for biphobia.

      1) Look at the video, it’s a lot less clear cut than this and similar articles on it gleefully proclaim. He didn’t say the words in the headline at all. I’ve known of bi people to go along with being called gay or even straight because it’s easier than explaining every time, especially when they’re in a monogamous relationship.So I think it’s unclear what his orientation is, but he doesn’t owe strangers the intimate details. I’d love to see more out bi guys in the public eye but I’m not owed the details of anyone’s sexuality.

      2) It can take some people a lot longer than other to figure out their orientation. Yes, the description of fancying girls as well as guys does describe a bisexual, but maybe part of the reason he didn’t directly say the label was because he was still unsure. He may even still be trying to figure out his orientation, or just going with the flow of enjoying a first love.

      3) I really hate the bi now, gay later stereotype. It’s not the people who temporarily call themselves bi because they feel at the time, it’s less daunting through a tough personal time that I mind. Coming out can be very hard for people. Having to do it in the glare of the public eye is scarier again and if it’s a crutch that helps them, I’m not going condemn someone in a vulnerable place. I hate that it gets used by others to peddle their biphobic attitudes and to sneer at and dismiss an invalidate people who are bi. But if someone who used the bisexual label to help them in a distressing time, and then uses that to justify biphobic prejudice later, that’s a really horrible thing to do.

      4) Look at how gleefully eager, both mainstream and LGBT publications were to jump on this. What Tom Daley actually said in the video was open to interpretation. But so many media outlets couldn’t wait to publish headlines like “He’s gaynow” Or “he’s definitely gay not bisexual” Media outlets that were a lot slower to use the word bisexual to his original description of fancying boys and girls. The eagerness of others to proclaim bi now, gay later is much more worrying than a teenager in the public eye looking to make his coming out easier on himself.

      5) It’s the people who smugly say that they were right to be
      dismissive of when Tom Daley said he was attracted to girls that I have a
      problem with. No, they were not right. They did not know his sexual orientation better than he did. The problem is that when someone describes bisexual attractions, others feel they have to right to judge whether the person is actually bi. Whatever Tom Daley’s sexual orientation is, it doesn’t vindicate the biphobic prejudice in response to his original coming out. It doesn’t make it okay not to take someone on their word when they describe being bi. If someone’s understanding of their own sexuality changes afterwards, fair enough but that’s up to them not for random strangers to decide.

  • Jamie

    Not much of a surprise to be honest – thought he was gay ages before he even came out as bi. Just glad he’s comfortable enough in his own skin to be honest with himself. Hopefully people won’t use this to condemn bisexuals as not existing though!

    • Seth

      “Thought he was gay” explains the whole problem. You thought he did not like girls because he liked guys.

      • Guest

        He thought Daley was gay because he had gay vibes. No need to over-interpret that fact just because you like feeling offended to have an opportunity to lecture people over their being less-enlightened than you. And in the end of the day, being less enligheted worked better, didn’t it?

  • Robert J Brown

    reminds me of this:

  • That There Other David

    Did he really, as implied in the article, choose Celebrity Juice as the place to clarify this??

    Gay or bi, well done to him for just getting it over with so he can enjoy his life.

  • Paul

    Bona eek bona lallies bona ogles and so glad you have decided to be who you are..

  • Damian Shepherd

    wow total shock i never saw that coming!!!

  • pureG

    If he had full and satisfying relationships with women he is not gay. It is true that in practice he is rather gay because he is in a monogamous relationship with another man but his sexual orientation is not gay but bisexual. Do not create confusion, please.

    • https://www.facebook.com/etseq97 etseq

      Piss off

    • Jones

      Who are you to tell him what his sexuality is? The only person who knows Tom Daley is Tom Daley.

      • pureG

        We must use the concepts in an appropriate way. I do not agree with the epistemophobia at all.

        • Jones

          Have you considered that perhaps Tom was just dating girls because that was what the media expected him to do and responded in the typical way to the media so as to not provoke any suspicion. It is not uncommon for gay men to have dated girls in their early years or even older life.

  • lee

    you’re becoming a bore love couldn’t care if your gay straight thin fat

    • li Lefil

      Nobody cares that you don’t care about Tom Daley. Tom is a star and if he (and the overwhelmingly positive response) encourages other young competitive ga athletes to come out, surely that’s a good thing.

    • Serkan M

      Thank you. Someone who thinks he’s just another little queen. Don’t like him.

  • Jesus_Mohammed

    Well Tom Daley may have been ‘terrified’ before, but looking at the expression on his face in that photo, in which he’s clearly looking down at something that is quite an eyeful, he’s clearly not ‘terrified’ any more!

  • Pádráig O’Gáirmléadháigh

    He didn’t ever say he was Bi. He said in the interview he still “liked” girls, but that is not the same as “fancying them” There are lots of girls I like but I wouldn’t want to “sleep” with any of them!! As for Tom being Gay, my gaydar said he was gay the first time he appeared on telly when he was about 14 or so….

    • Serkan M

      Your just playing with semantics.

  • MJ

    And……..is his last name still too “micky” ?

  • Steven Gregory

    Do you ever look at someone and want to say: “Let me take off your pants.”
    Sometimes I just want him to sit on my face, other times I still want it.

  • Nala

    Uhm, like we didn’t already know this?

  • Daniel

    In his coming out video a lot of people noticed that he kind of pulled a face when he said he “still fancied girls”. So I think even then it was taken with a grain of salt. He did not, at the time, specifically use the words “gay” or “bisexual”. So he was not actually being misleading. More likely he was just still uncertain about things. He’s not that old remember.

  • Philipp

    Having watched the show, it seems as if the author of this article has watched an entirely different show.

    Tom Daley neither said ‘I’m gay’ nor did he mention bisexuality..

    Please watch the show yourself, it’s the host asking Tom (or rather making the statement) “You’re a gay man now?!” in order to change the subject and Daley simply answers “I am.”

    You could take Tom’s “I am” as the proof that he’s actually gay and not bisexual but that’s far from evident. They didn’t speak about bisexuality at all. After talking about Tom’s new televion show, with his question, the host didn’t want to find out if Tom is gay or bi, it seems that he simply wanted to change the subject.

    Tom Daley neither said “I’m bisexual” in his Youtube coming out video, nor did he say “I am gay” in yesterday’s show. Media shouldn’t quote phrases that haven’t been said at all ;). All we know is that he’s together with a man and that he’s a happy. And that should be all that counts :).

    • http://hacktheneverland.blogspot.co.uk/ enchantedsleeper

      I haven’t seen the show itself but I did find it odd how this article, in spite of trumpeting in the headline that Tom Daley is “definitely gay not bisexual” included no quote that said so and in fact repeated a lot of old quotes which had nothing to do with the headline. Yes we know he chose to come out on YouTube; what does that have to do with the article topic? Tom always said he didn’t want to put a label on himself either so the media should stop slapping them on him.

  • JPeron

    I too watched the show. This article is BS. Daley didn’t say this. words were put into his mouth by the show’s obnoxious host, but Daley didn’t speak about the issue. First the Mirror, a truly sleazy publication made the claim, then the slime-paper The Daily Mail repeated it. Then lazy writers copied what they read and didn’t bother to check the source.

    I’ve watched the episode in question and he DID NOT say what this article attributes to him. The article should be deleted.

  • chgough

    The word ‘homosexuality’ was coined in the Victorian era. Why does anyone have to wear a badge with a sexual preference indelibly ‘inked in’? Tom’s young, he appears to be having a lovely time with another guy – great. If he falls in love with a woman in years to come – also great.

    I have only ever been attracted to other men, but I don’t feel let down in some way if someone who has had same sex relationships then has an opposite sex relationship. Human sexuality is too complex for people always to have to wear a ‘badge’ that they are not allowed to take off. We are all different.

  • TheSeer

    Of course he isn’t bisexual. Queers are exclusively homosexual.

  • writingme

    Honestly! Who cares if he first said he fancied girls still up until recently? He is 19 YEARS OLD! No one should be saddled with the weight and responsibility of being a role model at such a tender age.

    I was very much ”bisexual” until about 20 years old, myself. Some people feel more comfortable coming out of the closet gradually. No harm intended, no foul.

These comments are un-moderated and do not necessarily represent the views of PinkNews. If you believe that a comment is inappropriate or libellous, please contact us.

Top commenters this week

Latest stories

See all