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EastEnders star Danny Dyer’s response to homophobic viewers is just brilliant

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  1. I caught the East Enders scene in question by chance, on BBC3 last night, and I suppose that overall it was sympathetic, but I do have reservations about portrayals of coming-out to parents involving scenes of such angst and tears.

    Last night’s scene signalled that discovering you’re gay and being gay is akin to having a dreadful illness, an awful secret, that it’s something that involves gut-wrenching heartache and much weeping. I acknowledge that in many situations this is exactly what it does involve. However, I’d like to see TV dramas having the gumption to model to parents and other adults what the coming-out of a young person SHOULD be like, and CAN be like, i.e., that it can be a happy and a positive experience.

    1. @Catziiis 4 Jan 2014, 3:15pm

      As much as I would like to agree with you…my daughter has a friend who came out to her parents last year. Although the mother tells me she loves her daughter and would do anything for her…there’s a much different story behind the scenes. The stepfather tells this girl she is dead to him. The mother has repeatedly said how unhappy she is with her daughter’s “decision”, and puts down potential dating partners for her kid.

      Many kids-even adult kids-have a hard time coming out to their families, and tears are signs of stress, fear and uncertainty as to how the family will react-especially if they are hyper-religious. I feel that portraying a ‘happy and positive’ experience is only setting up the majority of gays to be disappointed, or worse when they come out. Sadly, they still have to ‘prepare for the worst, hope for the best’.

      1. Wow. “A friend of your daughter’s” has poor parents who can’t accept her “decision” and so we have to protect young gays by not showing coming out as a positive experience. Has it occurred to you that its negativity like yours that causes “stress, fear and anxiety”? How do you know that the majority of gays “will be disappointed” in the reaction they get? Did you notice the reaction to Tom Daley stating he was in love with a man?. Thank God for real life heros like Tom Daley, so we don’t have to rely on fictional portrayals and stories about friends of friends.

        1. Come on, Paul it’s EASTENDERS! (described in the US TV Guide as “a drama serial for and about the urban poor”). Trauma and angst is what it’s all about. If the ‘coming out’ had been entirely positive, many Gay people would have complained that it was unrealistic. I agree we need positive stories on TV and the soaps do their part in helping to put Gay characters and relationships in prime slots. Eastenders introduced their first regular Gay character in 1986. That year they also featured a sympathetic drag queen character.

          1. You must have missed the Stonewall report that noted the BBC’s prime time coverage of gays was overwhelmingly negative. Why on earth should we fund an organisation that continually insults us, continually portrays homosexuality as negative and perpetuates gay stereotypes? Are we supposed to be grateful that EastEnders has featured as many gay characters in its entire history, as Coronation Street currently has in its cast? Wake up and see what the BBC is actually doing compared with the commercial channels.

        2. the post isnt negative its factual. still in todays world a gay outcoming is still majoritively filled with hurtful, scary and negative responses from loved ones Cat praised this by expressing and experience with someone she is aquainted with, to be honest your response to her comment is discraceful implying that simply because her ‘daughters friend’ isnt famously known it means her experience isnt as important is appauling. and to add qall because Tom Daley came out which im sorry is obvious. doesnt make him no hero. heros are those in wars saving lives its not some boy who decided to inform the world hes gay.

          1. The post is not factual and is relentlessly negative. Again, how do you know that a “gay outcoming” is “majoritively filled with hurtful, scary and negative responses”? Do you know everyone who has come out? And if any post is disgraceful it is yours. Why is it obvious that Tom Daley would come out? Is it because you can tell he’s gay because of the way he acts? He hasn’t even come out. And I think you will find that the overwhelmingly positive reaction to Tom Daley’s declaration is far more important, heroic and inspirational to young gay men than EastEnders and its ridiculous apologists, who seem to think everyone needs to be constantly warned about homophobia, as if we are not aware that it exists, rather than tackling it.

    2. Well, don’t look to a soap opera set in a rough corner of the East End for that. I watched the scene and thought it was effective. The vast majority of young people coming out to their parents will go through similar angst. There is nothing wrong with realistic portrayals.
      A ‘Cosby Show’ version of coming out would touch and convince no one.

    3. I fealt it was a very realistic portrayal. My younger son is gay and he cried when I told him I knew. He fealt he had let me down, because I had always talked about having grandchildren. He later explained to me, that he had to come to terms with it himself and that had been hard enough, without the family knowing. I told him that he was aloving and caring person and his sexuality didn’t change that. Lol but he still cried. Like the lad on Eastenders, it seemed more like tears of relief. They found it hard to come to terms with themselves, so to have it just accepted by others, especially family, is a release of those tensions and worries. Hence the tears! Nothing to do with it not being a posotive experience. What exactly was not posotive about the way the father reacted? He told his son that he was who he was and he loved him for who he was. I personally fealt he handled it well and, as I mentioned, that the tears were from relief and a release of tension from worrying about it.

    4. I thought it was refreshing to see a scene where the parent was the one being all positive and lovely. Most kids are scared to tell their parents and it can be an emotional conversation for a lot of people, especially if the parents don’t see it coming. I know it was when I came out ten years ago and I have very liberal laid back parents (and am very femme, so to my parents it was a shock!)

      His dad’s response was what most parents do; they try their best, probably say the odd stupid thing but generally hug their kid and say it is ok. Usually coming out stories in soaps involve screaming, shouting, rejection etc, which just reinforces the ‘your parents will reject you’ idea. I think Eastenders have chosen an intertesting option by showing the two parents reacting in such opposite ways. I don’t normally watch Eastenders but have been watching it over the last week just for this storyline!

  2. I Thought this was a brilliant response to the homophobic tweets, Danny is a star.

  3. Mr Dyer you are a star x

  4. Don’t see how this is ‘brilliant’ tbh. I just see it as stooping down to the homophobes level, fighting vulgar with vulgar just sounds so immature to me. I know its good that he is fighting our corner I just think there are better ways of fighting ant-gay sentiment.

    1. Mark in Halifax 4 Jan 2014, 7:16pm

      Vulgarity is all these homophobic idiots understand. I think his response is perfect and very welcome

    2. if there were better ways to fight it then it would be solved. stopping to their level would be doing alot worse then he has done.

  5. marcwebbo3 4 Jan 2014, 4:31pm

    Am I missing something here?….I cant see what he wrote?….if its tweets then it should be on the article

    1. The tweet is showing up with the article for me. It’s a slightly graphic, illustrated “how to” instruction for inserting a suppository with the headline, “What to do with Your Opinion”

  6. class illustration from danny! even though i don’t think he’s an excellent actor, he really is a top bloke for sticking up for us. such a sweetie! keep up the good work, mr dyer. i notice there isn’t any images of the homophobic tweets he was referring to… i’d love to read them too! anyone got a link they can feed me?!

  7. I just watched the episode on catch up after seeing this, it was great, really well done and seeing the mothers reaction, I don’t think it is over yet!!!! Da da daaahhhhh. I never watched EastEnders, I might just watch a few now.

    Well handled in the episode and Danny Dyer, what a star, always thought he was funny on celebrity juice. A true diamond in the rough and a gent with it. I might be a little bit smitten now.

    1. I think we all are now :)

  8. Brian Evans 4 Jan 2014, 11:15pm

    Great! Well done Danny! You have gone up in my estimation!

  9. I fell in lust with Danny years ago after seeing him in ‘Borstal Boy’. He improves with age and is a great actor, and VERY easy on the eye. Saw him interviewed also and he comes across as a down to earth guy, very likeable indeed. Glad he is gay friendly.
    Any tv program that portrays realistic coming out scenes is to be applauded. It helps the closeted gay person and maybe even opens up the mind of closed mind parents.
    Well done BBC and Mr Dyer. I imagine Danny would be even more direct in person,

  10. John Dyer 5 Jan 2014, 9:08am

    Danny Dyer is still a knob and puff!

  11. BlokeToys 5 Jan 2014, 1:24pm

    Although I’m not a fan of any of the soaps, I have seen Danny on a few shows in the past and he’s always come across as a nice guy, funny, willing to laugh at himself, accepting of others etc.

    He has this image that I think people misunderstood for a long time. Because he’s a “cockney geezer” some seem to think that he’s an idiot and a stereotype, when he really isn’t.

    Good on him for this, he made me chuckle and said what most of us are thinking about the bigots ;)

  12. How many of you here can say they have met and worked with Danny Dyer on a few occassions? hmmm?.. Oh just me then. Can assure you he’s anything but ‘on our side’. He’s one of the most homophobic idiots i’ve ever met and regularly behind the scenes uses derogatory words to descibe gay people and their lives, to the point I had to bite my tongue around him a couple years ago. Any respect for him went out the window back then.

  13. Very well said…!! Lol

  14. I’m not surprised Mr Dyer has a retort ready for the inbred no-hopers who diss him for his latest support for our community. This bloke is a damned talented actor and isn’t afraid to speak his mind. Goodonyermate!

  15. Suffrajester 17 Jan 2014, 8:20am

    Wow, can this be the same guy who advocated mutilating women’s faces in his column in Zoo? If he really has changed his views on equality, good on him, he’s come a long way. I’d be interested to know what he would’ve said if the character had been a lesbian daughter instead of a gay son.

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