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Tom Daley: ‘I’m dating a guy and I couldn’t be happier’

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  1. Jock S. Trap 2 Dec 2013, 10:51am

    Saw this earlier and Good luck to him!!

  2. good luck to him and well done for being so brave. I noticed the press were a bit cold towards him so I suspected

  3. Officer Dribble 2 Dec 2013, 11:00am

    Good for you Tom. You’ve come out on your own terms and at a time of your choosing. Every young celebrity who comes out and provides a positive role model, as you have/are, makes it’s that little bit easier for gay teens who are coming to terms with their sexuality.

    I genuinely wish you all the best mate.

  4. Who would have guessed?!………

  5. Elston Gunn 2 Dec 2013, 11:03am

    Good grief PN, even the BBC didn’t have the arrogance to label his sexuality – where does he say in the video that he is “gay”.

    1. I don’t see anywhere on BBC News stating anything other than what Tom has said himself. The only place I’ve seen his sexuality labelled thus far is PN!

    2. Sorry, I misread your post Elston. Mea culpa. You are indeed correct!

  6. Who next?


    1. As obvious as I was to others after years of living in a heterosexist environment it was still a massive struggle to come out.

      Don’t be so glib and dismissive

  7. He never said we was Gay – he said he was in a relationship with a guy but still fancies girls, and the whole reason he did the video was because things in the press get mis-quoted.

    Well done PN for mis-quoting him.

    1. I see they have changed it here now, bit still say “gay” on Facebook. Sloppy journalism as always from PN!

  8. Could I just ask Pinknews to correct the heading of this item: as I understand it, he’s not saying he’s gay (“Of course I still fancy girls”). So your headline “comes out as gay” doesn’t seem quite accurate.

  9. In absolute shock ! Tom won’t have to hide the fact anymore, which is a big relief. So so pleased we have a “young” person coming out who is still very much high profile. I’ll have to download that “i’m sexy and I know it” youtube video again !!

  10. Curmudgeon 2 Dec 2013, 11:07am

    He came out as bi not gay as far as I could say. He is in a relationship with a man but still fancies girls

    1. Robert in S. Kensington 2 Dec 2013, 12:27pm

      Dating girls and fancying them doesn’t necessarily mean that he had sex with them, but it shouldn’t matter what his orientation is as long as he’s happy and accepts who he is. I dated girls and kissed a few in my youth, even slept with just one of them but couldn’t bring myself to have sex with her. It’s quite possible he’s had similar experiences. Either or, it’s fine.

  11. What a shame – expect better quality journalism than this, he did not say he was gay – so quick to jump on others labelling us and then picks a label to get a good headline! Very poor

    1. Headline now changed – more thought and less haste next time.

  12. respect to you young man, and no amount of gold meddles will compensate for happiness , trilled for you

  13. So PN is erasing of bisexuals? One less reader for you, assholes.

    1. davevauxhall 2 Dec 2013, 3:11pm

      Do you have to be so obnoxious? Most gay identified men would have experiences of labelling themselves as bisexual initally and as gay when they feel more comfortable. That is not to say that there aren’t bisexual oriented and identified people on the contium of sexuality. The vast majority of behaviourally bisexual people probably have little identity around their sexuality and the majority of gay men certainly would have been behaviourally bisexual at some time. I guess my point is you are being a miserable hypocrite. Good luck to him and I don’t think he labelled himself as bisexual anyway or that Pink News set out to Erase bisexuals.

  14. Why is anybody surprised that PinkNews have once again ignored everything but the G in LGBTQ?

  15. Bi not gay – though he didn’t label himself. All the other pink press and even the BBC have got that right – but yet again we have sloppy journalism from misquoting him and twisting to suit their own agenda. This is why he sensibly chose to do his own self-made video on his YouTube channel where he could say exactly what he wanted to say, instead of releasing a press release or doing an exclusive interview where he’d be likely to be misquoted. Pink News have just demonstrated, yet again, that they mis-quote and mis-report more than the mainstream press.

    1. I see they have changed it here now, bit still say “gay” on Facebook. Sloppy journalism as always from PN!

  16. Good luck to you Tom, we’ve all been there to a greater or lesser degree. At least you had the self respect to not do it in the homophobic daily red tops.

  17. Change the headline. You’ve done this on purpose and it’s shameful.

  18. Tom Thanks for your honesty . we will stand by you , ignore the haters live your life .. many of us have had similar traumas in coming out . all we can offer is our support and love to you .
    You must have a great feeling of true happiness
    good luck with your training
    Love to see your Gold medal in the 2016

  19. Marcwebbo3 2 Dec 2013, 11:25am

    This isnt surprising as I always thought he was gay…..well done to him…..I cant help thinking hes keeping his hordes of female followers contented by saying he still fancies girls….its a cop out and not being completely honest but thats his choice so good luck to him

    1. What you think and what he knows are completely different things, your comment isn’t fair and accuses him of being a liar because it suits your fantasy that he is a gold star gay.

      1. Right, because no celebrity in the history of the world has ever misled anybody about their sexuality for commercial reasons. I’m not saying he’s not bisexual but you don’t know what he knows either, you just know what he is chosing to say, same as anybody else. Sorry to disappoint you but sometimes what someone says and what they know can be very different paticularly considering he recently said he was “cool with his gay following” and “I think it’s funny when people say I’m gay”, implying it was a totally ridiculous that he was even a little bit gay. Not saying he is gay but even if he was total denials made a few months ago would give him very good reason to say bisexual now. So it’s not so far beyond the realms of possibility. It wouldn’t be such a terrible thing for him to lie about this now anyway as what he has done at such a young age with so much pressure and attention is incredibly brave. Whether or not it’s the whole truth or just for calendar sales doesn’t really matter.

        1. He never said bisexual, either. Consider that it may have been a conscious decision, and that he doesn’t define himself as gay, straight or bisexual.

          1. Don’t get me wrong in what I’m about to say I’m not ignorant about the nuances of identity but when we say things about our sexuality like ‘I was just born like that’ or state that same sex attraction is innate and has something biological at its root, then we also have to accept that it is on some level objective and scientific rather than just about a social identity. So at the risk of sounding disingenuous: being in a relationship with a man suggests same sex attraction and fancying women means opposite sex attraction. Someone with same sex and opposite sex attractions would be bisexual. If there is some kind of biological root to attraction, something that is hardwired in the brain, then people fall in to one of four categories with their attractions at any given time really (homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual and asexual). If sexuality isn’t a choice then the genders you are attracted to would be the same regardless of social identity and the words you use to describe yourself.

      2. Marcwebbo3 2 Dec 2013, 4:33pm

        My comment is my opinion of which Im entitled too so get over it….I do not have any fantasy about Tom get over that too!!!

    2. Or he could just be a bisexual or pansexual man, like myself and thousands of others. I have had relationships with men and women – and I still fancy both. Congratulations to him, we desperately need more high profile bisexual/pansexual men in the media spotlight.

  20. colonelkira 2 Dec 2013, 11:26am

    If its not a big deal why did you insist on releasing a video about it? Publicity whore at his worst!

    1. barriejohn 2 Dec 2013, 11:39am

      You think he wants a visit from Sun journalists as others before him had?

  21. barriejohn 2 Dec 2013, 11:30am

    Good for him. As he says, his private life is really no one else’s business, and some of the comments made in the past – even by gay people – have been unforgiveable, so it’s wise of him to make his own statement on his own terms before the media and gossipmongers get to work. One can only imagine how difficult it has been for someone so young living in the goldfish bowl of publicity – especially going through the trauma that his family did. I don’t know how I would have dealt with that! He is very lucky in that his close family have been supportive, and I hope that his fans and the great British press (sic) will prove the same. Once again, I can only say that to an older guy like me the change in attitudes in Britain and even America over the past few decades have been beyond our wildest dreams, and I see that the Methodist Church look like being the first now to jump on the “equal weddings” bandwagon (quelle surprise!). Good luck to all you younger guys, and may the future just get better and better for you.

  22. That There Other David 2 Dec 2013, 11:32am

    That he’s bi isn’t particularly surprising to be honest. He’s always set my gaydar off. Best of luck to him with the new man, and well done for just coming out then getting on with life. It’s really great that people can now do that without it becoming a big public drama as it used to. Shows that we have made progress as a society :-)

  23. Thank god he’s had the courage to come out.
    Good for you Tom.
    It makes ZERO difference and good luck to you xx

    1. I would love to see him working for the Trevor Project. He’s a big inspiration to so many young people. And only a gay/bisexual teenager knows what sort of a burden is that. Living two personalities. Coming out is the hardest thing to do.

  24. Bisexual – that notorious stop on the way to GAY – come on – we all did it – ‘I still fancy girls!’ – yeah of course we do just not in a sexual way – give it Five years and He’ll be full on Gay.


    1. barriejohn 2 Dec 2013, 12:28pm

      Maybe he does – who’s to say? You have no right to assume that all bisexuals are just gays too timid to declare their true sexuality, whatever you may suspect in individual cases!

    2. That There Other David 2 Dec 2013, 12:53pm

      There’s a massive spread of human sexual orientation. I’ve known people who have been straight, but had genuine one-off same-sex relationships, gay people who have done the reverse, and others who find characteristics other than gender attractive in those they encounter. We shouldn’t even label Tom Daley a bisexual unless he himself describes his orientation that way, because reality is more complicated than the classic three labels allows for.

      None of us know what his body responds to. Only he knows that. So you saying “we all did it” is just you projecting your situation onto his. Just as some of us come out with a definite “I’m gay” there are others that can say “I’m with someone of the same sex, but still fancy the opposite” and really mean it. The important thing is that he’s happy and that he doesn’t feel the need to hide any aspect of who he is.

    3. When people ask, I now tend to say I’m gay. I’m actually bisexual, just in a long term monogamous relationship with a man. I say I’m gay because I’ve found there to be less prejudice. People readily accept that, but when I tell them I’m bisexual I’m always greeted with either “you’re just being greedy” or “that means you’re gay and don’t want to say it”. Annoys the hell out of me.

    4. BlokeToys 2 Dec 2013, 2:43pm

      That’s funny, I know three bisexual men in their 30’s and 40’s who have never had the need to abandon women completely and become what you so desperately seem to want everyone to be.

      It’s very disappointing to see members of the LGBT community being so closed-minded and uneducated when it comes to sexuality.

      Of all the people who should know better, someone who identities as anything other than heterosexual should. You should be embarrassed, and I would suggest perhaps reading a little to develop a better understanding of Human sexuality.

  25. Who would have ever thought? …(lol)
    He’s very sweet and I wish him and them both as a couple all the best.

    Tom is young enough to still be discovering who he is.
    Although I’d had relationships with a number of girls throughout my teens I didn’t have a sexual relationship with a boyfriend until I was 21yrs old and through lack of opportunity and experience up until then I really couldn’t know if I was straight, bi or gay.
    As it did for me, I’m sure it will all become perfectly clear for Tom Daley too.

  26. He has always been supportive of the LGBT community in his statements, which in my book meant he was fully entitled to his privacy (hypocrisy being the only legitimate reason to out someone). Being famous at a young age has meant he has had to do this in public if he wanted to be in control of coming out. I hope people don’t expect or ask to much of him, he’s a young guy who we should support. I wish him all the best.

  27. Robert in S. Kensington 2 Dec 2013, 12:23pm

    Well done, Tom. Let’s hope it inspires others to come out, an excellent role model. It shouldn’t matter if he’s bi or gay. Whatever works for him, I wish him well and every happiness in being himself.

    1. robert—i love your last sentence “wishing him well and every happiness in being himself!” that really gives everyone a lot to reflect on. i appreciate your comment immensely. not only does tom have a champ’s body but a good head on his shoulders.

  28. Dan Filson 2 Dec 2013, 12:34pm

    He wanted a bit of a private life. Aw, bless.

    And quite by chance this is the month before Christmas and calendar sales are meant to peak. Will it harm sales, I wonder. No because he still fancies girls so he’s not shut off that end of the market.

    1. A surprisingly unempathetic comment from you Dan. He’s only 19, for God’s sake!

    2. I think you’re probably wrong. How these things USUALLY work is that someone has told a tabloid who his boyfriend is. The tabloid hacks then attempt to ‘blackmail’ him with the story … “We know Tom, so you’d better talk to us or we’ll do the dirty on you and make it sound sordid”. In the days before You Tube and Twitter, cornered celebs threatened with this sort of ‘outing’ would contact a rival paper and co-operate in what’s knows as a ‘spoiler’ – HE tells his OWN story in HIS words. Former Boyzone and member, sadly deceased, Steven Gately’s outing was done in exactly that manner. So, I’d say Tom’s decision to be ‘out’ is probably not his own ……

  29. I don’t understand why some comments on here are saying he did not say he was gay, correct. But he is in a gay relationship at this time, regardless of whether he identifies as gay or not. It only seems that is sexuality is an issue to some as classed as gay, reminds be a bit like morrissey, some would rather call him pansexual/autosexual etc and label him thus, anything is better than being gay to them Either way , good luck to him, He seems like a great guy.

    1. No, he’s in a same-sex relationship. I’m bi, and I don’t call my relationships “gay” or “straight”. I call them same-sex or mixed-sex relationships. I’ve gone out with people who have been gay, bi or straight. If I were to call my current relationship straight, that would suggest that I am suddenly straight, that I was therefore gay when I was going out with a woman, and that I’ve changed in the meantime. I haven’t changed, I’m still me, and I’m still bisexual.

      While it can seem straightforward to call a relationship gay if both partners are gay, it just doesn’t work for the many people who are bi. Similarly, calling same-sex marriage “gay marriage” completely erases bisexuals.

      As for the young man, he sounds bi to me, but it’s his orientation and he gets to choose how to define it.

  30. Derek Williams 2 Dec 2013, 12:53pm

    The IOC has already shown it doesn’t care about its LGBT athletes or ciivil rights generally, by throwing us under the bus and caving to Russia for the Sochi Olympics, where Russia has recently recriminalised being openly gay

    Considering this, and how dangerous it still is in countries visited by athletes, this coming out by Tom Daley is courageous so early in his career.

  31. Absolutely fantastic news ! It will help countless people to have such an inspiring role model.

    Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Tom had one of the first same sex marriages in 2014, if that’s what they want.

    The video must surely melt the hardest of hearts.

    Now let’s have a few footballers doing the same !

  32. Robert in S. Kensington 2 Dec 2013, 1:29pm

    With such a high profile, I only hope he puts it to good use by enabling other sports people in or out of the closet to come out and to become proactive in warning the younger generation of the perils of having unprotected sex. He’d be the perfect spokesperson for that.

  33. Benjamin Cohen 2 Dec 2013, 1:29pm

    Sure the writer made a brief mistake about the headline and then changed it. Sometimes in a fast moving environment, people can make mistakes. It was changed a couple of minutes later. Unfortunately, if you already shared the story on Facebook, then the original version might still appear. However, on our own Facebook, the headline is correct. I do want to say though that it is actually quite hard how to label someone in these situations. You will note that the Huffington Post for example is still labeling Tom as gay. We’ve actually ditched any label, gay, bi etc and instead just say that he is in a relationship with another guy.

    As I said to the Oxford Union earlier this year in a debate, I’m looking forward to when the labels gay, straight, whatever don’t apply. I don’t want me and my boyfriend to be in a gay marriage one day, just a marriage. Equally I don’t want to be a gay Dad, just a Dad etc etc

    1. Yes and I don’t want my bf to be called a dinge queen. What you gonna do about that Ben?

    2. Robert in S. Kensington 2 Dec 2013, 2:25pm

      Well said, Ben! Thank you.

    3. It is not hard to determine that a dude who is explicitly into ladies is not gay. No difficulty there.

  34. All the controversy in the press over Tom’s presumed sexuality, I always thought – so what! Has nobody noticed he has represented and won medals for Britain in the Olympics?

    I’m so pleased that he’s done this his way in his own time, many of us have gone through very difficult stages in life before we’ve find ‘us’ – whatever ‘us’ may be – no one should push, judge or cajole anyone else in coming out before they are ready.

    Tom, if you read this, good luck with your career, your life and never forget who you are – I hope you’ll forgive me for saying but I know your Dad would have been very proud, not least for your achievements in your career and not so much for announcing your relationship, but by the way you have taken charge of this situation and done what is right for you and for being so brave. Good luck and enjoy life.

  35. Tom might be interested to know that fetish bar The Hoist is planning a new night for under-25s only interested in extreme and unsafe sexual practises with other young men. That is the state of the commercial gay scene today to which young gay men are entering, some straight from school with little awareness or knowledge of the hazards facing such youngsters in an increasing hyper-sexualised, risk-taking gay scene which contributes most of newly-acquired sero-conversions.

    1. BlokeToys 2 Dec 2013, 2:47pm

      I hate to be the one to tell you this, but nothing has changed in the last twenty years. Most of us navigated our entry into the “scene” with the same kinds of obstacles and we all lived through it.

      And why is this any different, really, to the straight twenty-somethings who go out every weekend and open their legs for whoever happens to be passing by? People seem to think that the gay section of society is more “loose”, but in reality we’re not at all different to the many millions of straight people who do exactly the same things, it’s just not talked about because it’s “expected” in wider society.

      I would still rather be a gay man attending an event like this, than be a straight person out in the club scene fighting off drunken chicks with their knickers around their ankles.

    2. Every town and city in the UK has similar nights every night of the week in the majority of pubs and clubs for heterosexuals – the terrible state of the heterosexual scene in this day and age is shocking. Some of them are straight from school with little awareness, except they are more aware as they are given sex education at school that relates to their sexuality, unlike their Gay friends. What’s shocking is that even though the heterosexual kids are told about unsafe sex at school, the UK has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in Europe and STD’s amongst heterosexual teenagers is at a record high.

      1. I heard the other day that some club in Vauxhall is selling tickets to an all-naked foam-party for “hundreds of gay men” for New Year. Can you point to a similar happening for heterosexuals anywhere in the UK? If so, I’d be interested to investigate.

        1. Really? Are you that blinkered? Just type ‘straight sex parties’ into google and your eyes will be opened.

    3. davevauxhall 2 Dec 2013, 3:22pm

      Seriously! It’s really condescending to suppose that under 25s are completely ignorant with little awarenss or knowledge. While most under 25s are probably not into heavier S@M sex or a fetish scene, some are. I would suggest that if they were having sex with their contemporaries instead of 30-60 year olds they are a hell of a lot less likely to be exposed to HIV infection whether they have safer sex or not.

  36. Good luck to Tom and his boyfriend. It can’t be easy coming out like this as anything other than straight when he’s in the public eye and has been from such a young age.
    It’s understandable that people are discussing whether he’s bi or gay, especially when he didn’t use either word himself.
    I did think he wasn’t entirely at ease in the video, and he was very quick to point out that “of course” he still fancies girls. I thought that was strange, like he was trying to reassure or convince everyone, maybe even himself. He could simply have said he fancies girls without the “of course.” But it’s probably the hardest thing he’s ever had to do, so I don’t think we should be too hard on him and whether he’s bi or gay, the most important thing is that he doesn’t need to hide it and can be happy.

  37. I’m a bit puzzled by this article:

    Who’s got their wires crossed as Tom says he has not lied but has been vague, but saying things like “I wish I had time to meet a girl. I thought after the Olympics I would have loads more time but that hasn’t been the case.” and ” “I have to meet someone I can trust. I have never had a serious relationship. “..

    Not attacking Tom, I think fantastic! But curious if this was a direct quote or not given the content of Tom’s video?

    1. .....Paddyswurds 2 Dec 2013, 6:03pm

      Really, does it matter that much. The kid was probably just coming to terms with what his emerging puberty had revealed to him and wasn’t thinking “oh, ill have to answer for these words some day when I come out, because the inquisitor is comfortable being a complete ass hat!!

  38. It really saddens me to have to state this – but it IS a VERY brave thing to do. As Tom himself says, ‘It shouldn’t be an issue”. And, of course, 99.9% of gay people don’t give a monkey’s. However, the insane homophobic press and some members of the public (Xians most probably) will find his revelation outrageous (probably because they feel ‘stirrings’ where god says there shouldn’t be any!) I’ve come round to believing that the more visible we are and the more we get the message across that, ‘you’re mistaking me for someone who gives a sh*t what you think’, the more that people will simply have to face the fact that we’re here … and we ain’t going away (unless, of course, Putin gets his way and follows Hitler’s every step towards a final solution.

  39. Who knew? slightly camp to begin with; wears slinky dinky swim trunks; and likes to make a ‘splash’…..
    Anyway, well done to him for coming out …. Wish them both all the best…

  40. Why the need to say “OF COURSE” ” I still like girls”. Stinks to me. It’s almost saying ” I am with a man, but don’t worry, I’m not gay”. I sounds very very scripted…or under the guises of a frank coming out, I fear the heavy hand of a PR machine behind that.
    This OF COURSE is actually rather insulting…or am I the only one to feel it could have been handled more carefully?

    1. Very good point. I thought exactly the same thing ….. but then again, each of us has to ‘come out’ in our own way – such is the insidious nature of the religious / societal brainwashing and consequent fear of rejection which so many of us have felt.

    2. It doesn’t matter, think about when you came out – was it on the BBC six O’Clock news, I doubt it very much. I think Blue you need to think about were he is and how much pressure he is under from the tabloids. Enough said, It’s about respect at the end of the day,

    3. The of course may have been more in reference to past relationhips, reassuring those he was with before that their relationship was real, or it might have been in recognition of the fact that exactly what happened with this article is the default result of a bi (a placeholder since “non-monosexual” raises hackles) person dating someone of the same sex. It might have been a preemptive strike against bi erasure and accusations of lying.

  41. Why on earth is it necessary to label Tom as sexuality during lifetime is fluid and not necessarily static. Many men these days have same sex relationships but do not see themselves as gay so Tom should be applauded for his honesty and I personally wish him every happiness.

  42. Dear little chap. Bless!!! The video was a great idea. It was obviously off the cuff but very articulate. Well done, Tom. Brave thing to do. I’m so glad you are happy.

  43. Christopher Coleman 2 Dec 2013, 4:36pm

    Hi might be Bi or he might be Straight. But he IS currently in a “gay” relationship. So, the world will perceive him as gay. As do I (for the present).

    1. You are basically stating here that you are choosing to be as ignorant and assholeish as the general population. Even though you know better. I can’t even.

    2. Jock S. Trap 3 Dec 2013, 8:29am

      Wouldn’t it just be nice to say he is in a relationship and not have to explain it?!

      Sadly we have too many that still feel the need.

      Then we have the blinkered ‘why tell’ brigade if it’s about same sex relationships but happily accept the straight couple who openly reveal who they are going out with…. yet what’s the difference?

  44. good luck to Tom…it’s a rough world out there…but you’ll shine :)

  45. This is just to say we wish you all the best Tom, and we hope you will be happy.
    Peter and Chris

  46. .....Paddyswurds 2 Dec 2013, 5:53pm

    I could never decide whether it was pervy wishful thinking or my gaydar working well when, the first time I seen this handsome kid. Glad it turned out my gaydar still in good shape. …. .I admire his courage!

  47. Buffalo Gough 2 Dec 2013, 6:15pm

    Good for you Tom, and good luck in the future.

  48. Scary to think that if Tom had been attending the Winter Olympics in Sochi, he might well have been thrown in jail just for making this splendid video…

    Sadly, that shows why his statement is so important.

  49. Bravo and best wishes, Tom!

  50. Mr Daley triggers thousands of wet dreams as it sinks in that the fantasy of being with Tom is not an impossible one. He even said the right things on his video by saying it’s not right that he made the video, because it shouldn’t matter who he dates. What a guy!

  51. Really made up. I wish we had role models like you when I was young. I had larry grayson, etc, and being as I am not camp, could not identify with these. Also, at 27 moving to london, I thought all gays were ugly (from the TV), then I found hot guys. Amazing how TV indoctrinates you! Anyway good luck, make sure he spoils you and treats u well. Most gays are self centred and abusive, hope he aint like that. xx

  52. Can help but notice all those faceless idiots on Twitter who have thrown their horrid homophobic/bisexual rants about. Clearly have not read the story correctly and are hiding behind weird and dumb tweet names. There are some shallow and pathetic people about…alot on twitter! Tom and others have the courage to use their real names.

  53. He never said he was gay though

  54. damned filth 5 Dec 2013, 9:46am

    Wonderful though it may be for a 40 year old man to be breaking in such a young, supple guy as the lovely Tom, I can’t help thinking the PR gay rights activist boyfriend and the television company about to launch a reality show with Tom in a couple of weeks, might have had a hand in this “selfie”.

    The best thing Tom can do now is stop all talk on this matter, hide away in a training camp for the next two years and concentrate on turning his bronze medal into gold, so as to catch up with the likes of Carl and Blyth.

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