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Comment: I made a mistake with my Tom Daley headline, but a mistake was all it was

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  1. Dean Richardson 2 Dec 2013, 2:26pm

    Nicely put, Joseph, and courageously too.

  2. Andy O'Malley 2 Dec 2013, 2:28pm

    Well done for apologising. We all make mistakes; its part of being human. We should all try to be inclusive especially within our own community regardless of gender, sexuality, race, etc. and we should all be prepared to say sorry when we need to. All forgiven from my point of view.

  3. Anyone can take a mistake but it takes a brave person to admit they made a mistake. It also takes a courageous person to apologise for their mistakes. Well done!

  4. Anne Noise 2 Dec 2013, 2:32pm

    Apologizing and correcting one’s mistakes is a big part of journalism. There isn’t an issue with misreporting if the report is corrected, especially with a correction as clear-minded and obviously supportive as this one.

  5. Kayleigh Swift 2 Dec 2013, 2:32pm

    Daily Mail:
    Makes mistake, won’t retract it until forced to by PCC, publishes smallest retraction possible

    Pink News:
    Makes mistake, writes full apology within hours correcting the mistake without making pathetic excuses. Correction has similar visibility to original.

  6. David Stevenson 2 Dec 2013, 2:32pm

    Well written – you have more courage than a lot of people out there. I think we are all very excited by what we have read about Tom!!! I’m just glad we have people like you and your team that are keeping us up to date with what is going on in our big Rainbow world :-)

  7. No real harm done. To err is human. Forget the uncharitable people. You do a great service, and I for one am grateful.

  8. Closest thing to ‘integrity’ I have ever seen in UK journalism.

    The point, to me, is that he is happy. Who REALLY cares about his sexuality? Nobody has ever made headlines declaring ‘Im straight’ . . . . . Isnt it just good to know that one of the youngest, brightest, most talented people in this country is happy and not just ‘peacocking’ around, off his head, shamefully trying to get attention?

  9. Kat O'Neill 2 Dec 2013, 2:37pm

    Well done for owning up to your mistake, and also for correcting it in the manner you have. Also… when my son first “came out” at the age of 16,he told me he was bisexual ( he had had 3 girlfriends before). Eventually, he admitted that he was gay but told me that sometimes gay men come out as bisexual, as it lessens “the blow” to the family.

    Personally, I love my son regardless of his sexuality, and wish Tom Daley a happy life with whoever he spends his with!

    1. Wish i could have double clicked on the thumbs up – that is the best comment on here today. You’re obviously a very special mum.

      1. Kat O'Neill 2 Dec 2013, 6:03pm

        Thank you David!

    2. You have to realize that sometimes what is actually happening is bi people going back into the closet once they end up in a long term relationship, because it is easier to pretend to be gay than to be an openly bi man in the gay community.

      1. …or it could be that homophobia stigmatizes homosexuality while privileging heterosexuality, which results in SOME gay men using bisexuality as a transition to gay identity AND SOME bisexual men adopting a strategic heterosexuality to closet themselves from homophobia. I think my scenario is more accurate and reflects the distortions to both gay and bisexual identities from structural heterosexism and homophobia. Also, I avoid polemical accusations and place the blame on structural forces rather than engaging in cheap point scoring at the expense of stigmatized minorities. I find it rather sad that gay men, who are subject to constant homophobia and cannot avail themselves of hetersosexual privilege by forming normative partnerships with heterosexual women, are scapegoated by these reckless accusations of “biphobia”

        1. Midnighter 3 Dec 2013, 11:23am

          Since your assertion simply appears to agree with and refine Shaed’s comment by the word “some” your subsequent accusatory tone regarding “polemical accusations” and “reckless accusations of ‘biphobia’” seem unwarranted to me.

          You haven’t offered anything which conflicts with Shaeds statement, so I suggest that Shaed is not your enemy here.

  10. It takes a big person to apologise, especially in the press. Well done!!

  11. Well done, a proper apology, just how it should be done. None of this “I’m sorry if I offended..” or “I apologise for any hurt I have caused…”, which is the sort of ‘apology’ we’re used to nowadays. It was well written, from the heart and a real apology and I respect you for it.

  12. BlokeToys 2 Dec 2013, 2:39pm

    I agree with what others have said, it’s a good thing that you have openly and honestly confronted this mistake rather than do what all the tabloid trash in this country does and ignore that a mistake was made. I still think that there needs to be a lot more care and attention before hitting that publish button. I have said this before, it’s better to be accurate and take your time than try to be the first to publish and get it all wrong.

    PN is improving, seeking out comment from involved parties like a proper news organization, taking the time to check facts before publishing, and retracting false information or apologizing like this example.

    For that, PN should be commended. You’re growing as a news source and becoming more responsible and respected as a result.

  13. Robert in S. Kensington 2 Dec 2013, 2:43pm

    Well done, Joseph and PN too! Now if only the Mail would follow this fine example of taking responsibility for a change. You put the gutter press to shame!

  14. Helen St. Denis 2 Dec 2013, 2:49pm

    “Oh, you people and your quaint categories!” – Captain Jack Harkness

  15. Christopher Wzxs 2 Dec 2013, 3:02pm

    What we do not know as Tom Daley has not said is the level of intimacy this dating of both sexes involves.I think Tom has been persuaded by his publicity advisers in a use of semantics probably by the current hullaballoo over Paul Flowers..You can date a girl by taking her to dinner a couple of times and kissing her sweetly on the lips when saying goodnight but the declaration of this apparently mind-blowing involvement with a man by Tom Daley implies quite clearly more than that.I don’t therefore believe that too grovelling an apology is called for.

    1. Midnighter 2 Dec 2013, 4:11pm

      Chris – I have a suspicion you may not be native to the UK but in any case you appear to have missed something here so I hope this helps:

      1) the statement that they are “dating” is that they are having a romantic relationship. which may or may not include sex.

      2) as a matter of respect (and practicality) we should allow individuals to claim their own sexuality

      3) All Tom has confirmed is that he is not “straight”

      4) those sources stating he is Gay are making a false claim, since he stated he still fancies girls. Gay implies you only like the same gender.

      5) a form of bigotry exists which denies the possibility that some individuals are attracted to both sexes (contrary to established fact). The public conversation about sexuality tends forget it.

      SO …. PN is keen to make the distinction so that it allows Tom to define his own sexuality (since it is not our business anyway) and to ensure it does not perpetuate the mistake of ignoring the presence of bi-sexuality in society.

      1. …and you are engaging in the exact same question begging with these ridiculous assertions of presumed asexuality, minimizing any hint of gay while playing up bi, pan, queer, etc. and imposing some dubious interpretative rubric of “biphobia” to guarantee the result you want. All this reeks of some bizarre conspiracy theories where evil gay men are oppressing the poor bisexuals by manipulating media coverage.
        If I wanted to engage in similar polemics, I would counter with accusations of homophobia based on what appears to me to be a concerted effort to erase away the gay. As usual, every effort is made to avoid the gay label because god forbid anyone be gay! This is the very definition of homophobia!

        1. Really? Most Bi/Pan-sexual folk I know (including myself) are vehement supporters of Gay rights and demonising people is not part of any agenda. However we do suffer from invisibility because our sexuality is defined by the person we are with to the world. It’s often only a select few that are aware of our duality in attraction. And it would be so much simpler if we were one or the other because then we’d not have this sort of reaction even though I can understand where it comes from.

          Tom has said he’s in a same-sex relationship but he also likes the opposite sex – that is NOT Kinsey 6 – that is somewhere between 1 and 5 possibly a 4 – can we please acknowledge that rather than trying to make it Gay vs Bi please?

        2. Midnighter 3 Dec 2013, 12:08pm

          @etseq
          You seem intent on painting this as a false choice. It is entirely possible to support the rights of both gay and bi individuals; it isn’t an “either … or” proposition.

          If you are genuinely of the view that support for one is to the detriment of the other, please explain how this is occurring and give us some data. You won’t brow-beat people into agreeing with you (quite the opposite).

    2. Isa Kocher 2 Dec 2013, 5:53pm

      i don’t want to know what he does when their clothes are off. it’s nobody’s business

      1. I agree it’s nobody’s business, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know…just sayin’

  16. John Hein 2 Dec 2013, 3:05pm

    All journalists make mistakes. It’s good to put our hands up quickly when we do.

  17. Mandi Grant 2 Dec 2013, 3:08pm

    Well done on admitting your error, so many journalists seem unable to do so. Thank you for setting a good example to the many.

  18. Bess Hepworth 2 Dec 2013, 3:14pm

    Props to you Joseph! Mistakes lead to opportunities and I commend you for reaching out to your readers. More respect and power to you and PN for it! +1 x

  19. Correct me if I’m wrong but how is this an “apology” like you all seem to be suggesting? . . Yes he acknowledged that he made a mistake but this was followed by something along the lines of “so can we all get over it and move on” . . . I know I’m nitpicking but the words “I’m sorry” or “I apologise” are not mentioned ONCE in the the entire post.Good on him for acknowledging that he messed up but let’s not call this something it is not!

    1. Midnighter 2 Dec 2013, 4:18pm

      “I made a mistake”
      “… an assumption I deeply regret.”
      “To be clear – I messed up, and I take responsibility for the damage I may have caused through that”
      “I would beg those of you accusing me of bi-erasure, to reconsider, and to accept that it was simply a stupid mistake, which I have done everything I can to put right.”

      Should he disembowel himself ritually before us?

      Your unmerciful attitude to this is the sort of thing that leads to mobs stringing people up from trees, and I find it offensive. Perhaps it is you who should apologise now.

      I’m being silly to make a point, but lets keep some perspective here ;-)

      1. Thank you! I would go further and say that homophobia is motivating these lynch mobs that are hell bent on terrorizing gay men with cries of biphobia and erasure. The ultimate goal is to intimidate future coverage.

    2. Shut up Niqua and take that pole out of your arse.

    3. Isa Kocher 2 Dec 2013, 5:57pm

      i made a mistake and i am correcting it but it was not on purpose, is an apology.

  20. Michael Twitchen 2 Dec 2013, 3:27pm

    I think this was great thing to do. I thought the same then re-watched it.

  21. Glad you apologised and corrected it. But did it really need 10 plus paras ?
    It was a simple mistake.

  22. Staircase2 2 Dec 2013, 3:30pm

    Well said, joseph

    Before reading the piece and tweeting the other article I was concerned that Pink News has kept the original web address as was though – which still includes the idea that Tom came out as gay…

    Pink News preset Tweet still says:

    Tom Daley: ‘I’m dating a guy and I couldn’t be happier’ http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/12/02/tom-daley-comes-out-as-gay-in-youtube-video/ via @pinknews

    Be good for Pink News to address this please

    1. Joseph Patrick McCormick 2 Dec 2013, 3:46pm

      Thanks for your comment. I actually tweeted you back too – We have changed the URL from the original story. Unfortunately if people have already shared the original URL, there is no way to change that.

      It was updated shortly after it was published, so the majority of shares will be the new headline and URL, as is our tweet, and any shares in future will include the new URL.

      J

  23. Joseph, thank you for your honesty and openness. I admire you for admitting your mistake and posting so prominently.

  24. All this just reinforces my belief that labels are more trouble than they’re worth, especially ones that define you by something, sex, that’s surely only one element of a successful relationship, if you even have any interest in it at all.

    I don’t like men, and I don’t like women; I like people. Why is it so difficult to keep things so simple?

    1. …where is this post-structuralist nirvana you live in where homophobia and heterosexism have been defeated and everyone indulges in universal bisexuality. Sorry, most of us don’t have the privilege of abandoning our identities nor even if we did, would we want to! Labels serve a purpose and without them, we would still be in the closet. Now, if you are heterosexual or form heterosexual relationships, including the inevitable self-erasure of bisexuals who couple with heterosexuals, then you aren’t as invested in the performance of a permanent homosexuality and abandoning labels might seem appealing.

      1. Midnighter 3 Dec 2013, 12:56pm

        @etseq
        I agree with your point that labels are a useful way to celebrate individuality and as such can be a tool to avoid dystopic homogenisation. It is not our differences that are the issue as a society, but rather the way we understand and react to those differences. Speaking of which …

        “self-erasure of bisexuals who couple with heterosexuals”
        Blimey. By this logic penguins are fish, since they do not fly but swim. Or could it be that there is actually a tad more to it than that?

        You claim to support the idea of labels and then – by implying that they are “abandoning” their identity – immediately seek to deny someone who is bi-sexual from claiming that label as their identity if they express part of their nature entirely consistent with that identity.

        Apparently in your nirvana, we need to seek your approval for our chosen expressions of identity. Sounds like your classic dystopia to me.

      2. ‘Coupling’ with someone you love and fancy is not self-erasure. If you think being yourself automatically erases your own identity, I think you misunderstand what identity is. Its also interesting that you think that a bisexual person in an opposite/other sex relationship is self-erasure, but not, it seems, a bisexual person in a same/similar sex relationship?

        Invisibility is a problem for bisexual people regardless of the gender of our partners, particularly for those in a long term relationship. Those in short term relationships sometimes with men, sometimes with women, (and perhaps with those otherly gendered as well) are less invisible, but then they are taken by the biphobic as evidence for the belief that bisexuals are promiscuious, can’t commit, can’t be trusted, can’t be monogamous. So you damn us both ways.

  25. Usually when someone says I still fancy girls but I’m very happy dating a guy it’s sounds a bit of a coup out to keep his female fans happy ! If his dating a guy and is at his happiest then he’s gay otherwise he would be dating girls it’s simple

    1. Midnighter 2 Dec 2013, 4:34pm

      If you insist on projecting your own understanding of sexuality on another person, how are you any better than a homophobe yourself?

      Sexuality really isn’t that simple – you are wrong. You should realise it is as offensive of you to deny Tom the right to identify that he is bi-sexual as it would be for someone to tell you as a (presumably) gay man that you are deluded and possibly mentally ill.

      While it is true that many guys use ‘bi’ as a stepping stone, “many” is not “all”. Think about it.

      1. Oh come off it! This self-righteous indignation is a bit much…He made a good point about media figures playing this tired game of brand management where they ease into gay to avoid a fangirl backlash. ex. Micah.

        1. Midnighter 3 Dec 2013, 11:45am

          @esteq
          Actually no, he didn’t good point at all since he has made a hasty generalisation. A premise based on a logical fallacy results in a statement which can never be true. This is about as ‘bad’ a point as can be made in logic, in fact.

          In simple terms, the problem is the lazy thinking indicated by the word “usually” which then ignores (as I pointed out very clearly I thought) those instances that are “less usual”, never mind the fact that there is no substantiation for what is actually “usual” and “less usual” to justify this premise in the first place.

          “Self righteous” suggests to me that you believe that I am personally invested in supporting”bi” with an axe to grind – wrong on both counts. I simply don’t like people who base their views on sloppy and uneducated thinking.

  26. Officer Dribble 2 Dec 2013, 3:53pm

    Blimey Joe – another man who has stood up and grabbed my admiration. Good stuff. It’s only coming up to 4pm….anyone else?

  27. I honestly can’t see what all the fuss is about. Anyway, well done for acknoledging the mistake and correcting it publicly and promptly. Well done to Tom and to this journalist.

  28. Well said :-)

  29. Thanks, Joseph. I enjoy your writing. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Being in a long term relationship with a man is Gay enough for me. Bi-sexuality is a form of gayness.

  30. This was a short video. You used Tom Daley and his story to further your career. You could at least have watched it to the end. It suggests you care more about your name in print than accuracy or, worse than that the effect your poorly researched story may have.

  31. @endymion 2 Dec 2013, 4:46pm

    (Not to be heavy-handed or begrudge you kudos for making the right move.) I think it’s great that you admit your mistake in labeling and failure to watch the video to its end. As a deputy editor, however, your letter still seems to: 1) have a very defensive, 2) compare your reporting to others (a well-known fallacy in argument and smacks of justification, thereby taking away sincerity–”well, there are other media sources still saying “gay,” so there….”) and 3) sound a bit pedantic by telling the bi individuals who were “sensitive” and sympathetic I to Mr Daley’s situation that they are also wrong–a no-no in an apology.

    Couldn’t you have just said it in a simpler way without the qualifications and reverse-teachings to the bi community who were pointing out to you that they felt hurt by this (presumedly often) type of reporting in “gay” media?

    1. No – your reaction is exactly what he was trying to head off but these bisexual lynch mobs will not be satisfied until gay men are hanged from the gallows. Only in the upside down world of bisexual never-ever land are gay men the villains while heterosexuality is never critiqued. Of course, why should the benefactors of heterosexual privilege expend any effort to contest heterosexuality when the homos do all the hard work and suffer from the consequences. It’s much easier to scream “biphobia” and “bisexual erasure” which absolves you of any responsibility. Stomp your feet all you want and stake your claim to Tom’s ass – we will have the last laugh in a few years when he quietly announces he was really gay all along and it turns out he never got past 1st base with a women. The kid is as gay as the night is long…

  32. Tim Webster 2 Dec 2013, 4:51pm

    self regulation in practice – shame other journalists do not have the same professional ethics – well done Joseph

  33. Christopher Wzxs 2 Dec 2013, 4:57pm

    Don’t speak with common sense in the land of the Metrosexuals.

  34. Christopher Wzxs 2 Dec 2013, 5:00pm

    Tom Daley is gay – get over it

    1. YAWN. Thank you for your input, 2045.

    2. Amen – cue the hordes in 3, 2, 1…

  35. @marcbatez 2 Dec 2013, 5:13pm

    but don’t forget to correct the URL…

    1. Joseph Patrick McCormick 2 Dec 2013, 5:34pm

      The URL was corrected at the same time as the headline was changed.

      Best

      Joseph

  36. Alan Gloak 2 Dec 2013, 5:26pm

    What does he mean Bi ? Why not say I am GAY and be done with it. I like women but not in bed.I am Gay not Bi.

    1. Because he has made no indication that he does not like women in bed or in dating. So he probably isn’t saying he is gay because he isn’t gay.

  37. Isa Kocher 2 Dec 2013, 5:41pm

    i agree with mr mccormick. it’s unfortunate that any of us have to be labelled by others. it’s a rainbow. a multi-dimensional rainbow. how do you cut up a rainbow. we’ve lost a great deal by perpetuating a M v F paradigm, where the facts are we are all a complex mix of male and female and not male and not female. none of us fits any of our boxes.

  38. The media stand that there are shades of sexuality, few are purely gay or straight if they truly admit it. There are all combinations in between, but that is too complicated for many it is made more complex as some are in one part of the spectrum one time and another part another time. So many I have advised have taken awhile to realise this.

    1. Um…no. Plenty of us are purely gay thank you very much. Your heterosexual privilege is showing…

      1. Thank god, a thinking person. I was beginning to think the only thing standing between me and my family (which disowned me) was my inability to acknowledge that my sexuality was actually fluid.

      2. Good but not all are in your position!

  39. Isa Kocher 2 Dec 2013, 5:59pm

    if i say i made a mistake, it was my fault, and i am doing what i can to correct it but the mistake was not deliberate, then that is an apology as apologetic as it gets. no nead for hari kari here.

  40. How do you call it? A charade. And everyone has to pretend not to notice it.

  41. Mark Bradley 2 Dec 2013, 6:41pm

    I hate it when people get away with saying nasty things eg James Arthur, because they only apologise because of the flack they’d get if they didn’t. These people often meant what they said in the heart, so the apology is empty.
    It’s blatantly obvious you had no bad intentions, and it was a mistake I might make myself.
    Well done for being honest, I’m proud you corrected your mistake so well and so quickly. x

  42. This mentions their need to get it (the story) out first. I would much prefer the media would get it out RIGHT! Much like the Paul Walker story. In everybody’s rush to be first nobody bothered to get the story out right. I ended up waiting until the media had it’s ‘firstgasm’, then I came back to find out the actual facts. This asst. editor even admits he didn’t bother to watch the entire statement. That is just bad reporting. There’s a lot to be said for old school journalism (where I learned the craft). A big metro daily might have several deadlines, depending on how many editions that they printed, but we normally had the time and the incentive (the editor’s wrath) to do the best we could. Yes, this was a mistake and everyone needs to get over it. But it was a rookie mistake that would have had me in the editor’s office trying to gather up the pieces of my ass that were left after the butt-chewing I would have so richly deserved.

  43. oh for god’s sake what a drama – who cares! if anyone’s got their knickers in a twist over this, let ‘em chew skids x

  44. Doesn’t take much for bisexuals to get their knickers in a knot it seems. Such angry people ;-)

    1. God tell me about it…Heterosexuality has its privileges…

    2. Right? It’s ridicukous, just like those gay people thinking their orientation is a real thing. They should just get over the fact that homosexuality doesn’t exist, it’s not that hard. I mean seriously, whenever I dare to innocently voice the fact that gay people just haven’t found the right person of the opposite sex, or publish it in a national LGBT paper, they get their knickers in a twist as if I’ve done some kind of damage. Such angry people.

  45. Marcus Winter 2 Dec 2013, 8:21pm

    A good apology.

    I long for the day that people don’t feel the need to ‘come out’ and be given a ‘label’! It should not matter and we should stop reporting on such stories. It’s it news? Do we care?

    I wish Tom all the best

  46. “I get the idea that labels are important for visibility and togetherness, but it is for Tom to decide if and when he will choose one.”

    This is the crux of the entire coming out debate. The gay lobby demands that sports stars should embrace the gay “label” and fly the flag for gay rights if they happen to sleep with someone of the same sex, be it exclusively, occasionally or even just once. This well written article exposes the charade and limitations of sexual labeling. “Gay” and “bisexual” are only recent constructs. There was a time when people were free to express their sexuality any which way they chose to; indeed it was not uncommon for men in some cultures to seek out young boyfriends as a rite of sexual passage before getting married and settling down. Same sex environments such as prisons and the forces show that human sexuality, when expressing itself through need, is in fact fluid, and that “gay” and “straight” in the exclusive 100% sense is the rarity.

    1. “Any which way” is not true at all, in the majority of the cultures you’re talking about how acceptable same sex relationships were depended on many things including social status but particularly age and who the receptive partner was. For example I’m pretty certain that it would not have been socially acceptable in Greece for an adult male of decent status to be the receptive partner in a same sex relationship, they were viewed as being like women if they did. I’m even more certain that pedarasty, which is largely what you’re referring to, is not an ideal to which modern society should aspire. Not everyone considers their sexuality to be changeable, I’ve never been attracted to any woman and doubt I ever will be and the majority of men probably don’t engage in same sex relationships in prison. Further to that some of what happens in prison is some variation of non-consensual so I’m not sure that’s the greatest example either.

      1. There’s also a difference between behaviour and attraction: prison can result in same-sex behaviour but not necessarily same-sex attraction and society without women is artificial and not natural. So for your two examples you have an abscence of choice and behaviours that were socially normative at their time. What you don’t really have in these situations is the total freedom of sexual expression you imply. I think the problem with labelling is that those words mean more than you’re actually saying. I think “in a relationship with a man” etc would be the ideal but I don’t think we’re at the stage yet where that’s enough for some people to understand hence the assumption he’s gay just because he has a boyfriend (which a lot of people on twitter etc have made).
        Good job on this article, I think identity is a complex subject that can be a minefield even for LGBT people. Anyway it made me think, particularly about the assumptions I (shouldn’t) make in this respect

      2. Amen – I agree…Be wary of these bisexual triumphalists and their eager embrace of post-structuralism, queer theory, and other academic arcana. The goal is the deconstruction of homosexuality and gay identity while leaving heterosexuality virtually untouched – the very definition of homophobia!!

    2. This just proves my point that these screams of biphobia really mask a more sinister homophobia. Notice the use of right wing propaganda phrases of “gay lobby” and blatant attempts to delegitimize gay identity by lobbing ahistorical claims about social construction and instability. The nihilism of queer theory is invoked to deconstruct all stable identities so that we are left with a post-structuralist nirvana of uncontested heterosexuality. Perfect for bisexuals who want sleazy sex on the down low while maintaining the trappings of the heterosexual nuclear family.

      1. Oh boy, so you can call bisexuals sleazy, sex obsessed, and claim that we really just want to be heterosexual, but we’re the ones who are homophobic for calling you out on your prejudice. Nonsense. It isn’t the GGGG Community, it’s the LGBT community. If you want to exclude us, that’s up to you, but don’t imagine for a moment that you’re in any way progressive by spewing this rhetoric. You’re just as selfish as the heterosexual society that thinks theirs is the only way anyone should be allowed to identify.

  47. Neon Genesis 2 Dec 2013, 11:22pm

    The problem isn’t that you made a mistake. The problem is with the eagerness to assume that someone who comes out must be coming out as gay and not as any other label in the LGBTQ spectrum.

    1. Um no…the problem is your homophobic eagerness to disclaim away the gay at all costs. It’s too icky and dangerous – not like that tamed bisexuality which does not threaten the supremacy of heterosexuality. Your heterosexual privilege is showing…

  48. Very, very impressed that you’ve apologised so visibly – as said before, you wouldn’t catch any of the national media outlets doing such a respectable thing. Still, I maybe recommend watching until the end of the video before reporting on it, and acknowledging more than just the L and G of LGBTQA in future? Lots of love. X

  49. Worse things happyen at sea…. give your sen a break

  50. Erica Cook 3 Dec 2013, 2:06am

    Hats off for recognizing your mistake. It’s bound to happen sometimes. As a lesbian in the US not only in the group you said you don’t relate to as well, and in another country, I can say I’ve never felt boxed in or labeled. Though After one of our Right wing rants makes the news I might say how it looks like we’ve put on our tinfoil hats. That’s more a sadly honest reflection of the US.

  51. N Barrett 3 Dec 2013, 6:47am

    Please don’t beat yourself up about this.

    Truth is, I was disappointed by Tom Daley’s use of the words “of course” when he said “OF COURSE, I still fancy girls”.

    With those two words, Tom himself was actually ‘pulling back’ from what he had said — implying that being in a relationship with a man was somehow incomplete.

    But Tom was brave to do what he did and otherwise did it well.

    The best of it was that it took the wind out of the sails of the tabloids who were unable to “reveal” the news in their usual tacky way.

    Good luck, Tom.

    1. Saying ‘of course’ he still fancied girls doesn’t imply that a relationship with a man would be incomplete, any more than (still) fancying other men would imply that. He is more likely to have meant that ‘of course’ he hasn’t suddenly become gay because he is with a man; he did genuinely fancy girls – he wasn’t lying to hide his sexual orientation – and so of course he still does.

  52. People will rarely compliment you for a job well done, but make an error, however unintended, and they will jump down your throat with hobnailed boots on. People, regardless of sexuality, gender, race or nationality (or religion or whatever) enjoy being nasty, malicious and cruel and judgemental. All you have to do is look at how the message Jesus gave, has been so vilely corrupted by so called Christianity today.

    Never mind about your error/ typo/ impatience to get the story out before realising the full facts. Just carry on and be cool.

  53. A rep for stonewall yesterday omitted the T from LGBT on LBC yesterday. T & B are invisible like non white or disabled gay people on sites like this

    1. Stonewall don’t include T in their agenda – they are an LGB charity

      1. assholes

  54. Phil Taprogge 3 Dec 2013, 10:25am

    Now if only all the other news outlets who made the same mistake could stand up like that.
    I think one of the biggest problems the LGBT+ community faces is exactly this sort of labelling and shoeboxing of people.
    I face the problem almost every day talking to people who will simply not understand that I “don’t belong in that box, but not the other one either…?”

    Let’s make a stand and declare that we’re all people, all different and don’t have to fit in boxes.

  55. AndrewGMooney 3 Dec 2013, 2:45pm

    Everyone chill. Language is both important and fun. On my last shift in the Jargon Factory I assembeld a new formulation on these topics, as follows. Until the biased acronym LGBT changes to alphabetic BGLT, then the issue of hierarchical 80s group-think identity Privilege and Erasure remains. I identify primarily as polyromantic, not polysexual. As a sometimes celibate, sometimes polyamorous group-monogamous trisexual: men, trans, women. In alphabetical order, not preference. I do not identify as as part of the LGBT community as I do not defer to the hegemonic sexualist-essentialist assumptions that underpin it. I do support and admire the very real, legal changes that the activist sexual identities cadres have won, whilst deploring the historical intransigance and intolerance over Otherness and Asexual identities outside that framework. Freedom is a journey, not a destination. The attempt to lassoo Tom Daley is understandable, but misguided.

  56. Gayspeak EZine 3 Dec 2013, 2:58pm

    We should not be overly sensitive …

  57. The first thing they teach you about journalism is getting your facts right and having gone through the whole story. Your eagerness to communicate his message with the world has made you fall short. Tom Daley only told his story through his own experiences, and we are not to judge, discriminate or provoke anything more than only support for a person that is going through what most LGBTI youths have gone through in their life. When I was 19 and came out to my parents I could only use the words “I am dating a…” and they had to fill in the pieces. We forget the pressure that we go through to be the perfect child, husband, sportstar or even just to find a way to this place where judgement and inaccurate assumption could be thrown away.

  58. hopefully other journalists will follow your lead when they make mistakes…yes it’s a business…i get it…but at the same time…the business also has a responsibility! http://getoffmydress.blogspot.com/2013/12/as-eyelash-curls.html

  59. God help us if we dare assume that if you having a same sex relationship you should be considered gay. I’m sure Tom will be back on track and dating women in due course as he still fancies them apparently, Ill look forward to witnessing that. Strangely heterosexuals don’t seem to have a problem with labelling themselves and as a GAY man neither do I.

  60. One day he will have the courage to say “I am gay” … I was also “bi” until I was 24 … it somehow, in my mind, ‘softened the blow’ …

    1. Or, one day he will be harassed and hounded by the likes of you until he loses the courage to be honest about himself and decides pretending to be gay is easier than asserting himself as a non-monosexual man in a monogamous relationship.

  61. WHERE IS MY COMMENT!? was it deleted??

  62. His “Of course, I still fancy girls” is nothing else than an absurd and shocking expression of the omnipresent heterosexism in this society.

    I feel sorry for his boyfriend whom he tells in front of the whole world he feels so “happy” and “safe” with, only to tell him and the world a second later that, of course, he still fancies girls.

    That’s not self-consciousness and -esteem, that’s the internalized heteronormativity speaking!

    1. Midnighter 5 Dec 2013, 11:00pm

      It might be this impressive sounding “internalized heteronormativity” you speak of. Then again it might turn out he’s actually bisexual. But really, who gives a toss?

      Why should his boyfriend feel bad that his teenaged partner is still working out who he is? Or when he said that he “still fancies girls” did you actually hear

      “my bf is the only BOY for me (but watch out ladies, )”

      I did not hear him say that second one myself, is there are Director’s Cut I missed or something?

      Most bi people I know are after a single person to love, not one from column A and a random selection from column B. Tom’s told us he couldn’t be more happy with the one fella he has, so who are we to argue?

    2. its kinda sad! but thats what we can expect from figure skaters and divers

  63. Fair enough. But the way Tom’s been covered in the gay media has been pretty creepy
    http://athousandflowers.net/2013/12/04/tom-daley-and-5-things-that-came-out-since-monday/

  64. What’ pisspoor journalism. You watched till 30 seconds before the end? You lazy, work shy bastards.

  65. a “fancy nancy”? who cares……………….

  66. All admiration to you for firstly putting your readers first and keeping them informed asap, and then apologising that what you said wasn’t 100 per cent accurate and that you’d made an, easily made, error. I think you did a really good job.

  67. Will Thompson 19 Dec 2013, 8:28am

    No one cares.

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