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US: Restaurant says family which said they did not agree with lesbian waitress’s ‘lifestyle’ can return

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  1. This article is riddled with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.

    is illiteracy a requirement to write for Pink News?

    As for this story – well the real story is the fact that customers are expected to tip waitstaff in the US.

    Why don’t restaurants pay their staff properly?

    1. Robert in S. Kensington 20 Nov 2013, 1:42pm

      Unlike the rest of the civilised western world, American restaurants don’t include service. Sales tax (VAT equivalent) is computed separately and applied to the bill which is usually doubled to include a tip.

      I hope this young woman doesn’t have to provide any more service to the bigots. If her employer is worth his salt, he’ll have someone else accommodate them. My suspicion is that the so called ‘christian’ bigots won’t return because of the negative publicity it has generated. Bigots are always cowards.

      1. This restaurant pays $2.13 an hour and the minimum wage is $7.25 an hour.

        This restaurant’s staff are earning slave wages.

        Tips are a reward for good service. They are not meant to allow restaurants continuing to support slavery.

        1. The minimum wage for tipped workers in New Jersey is $2.13 – the minimum wages vary from state to state. As recently as the 1990s there was no minimum wage for waiting staff in the UK.

          1. de Villiers 20 Nov 2013, 9:35pm

            What surprised me at first in the UK was that service was added to the bill in addition to the cost of the dishes. In France, the prices on the menu are calculated to include the service charge.

  2. I count 4 spelling and grammar errors in this article.

    The restaurant is worse than the homophoboc family.

    Why is this dump allowed to pay slave wages?

    Why is it expected that customers pay this slavery supporting restaurant’s staff wages?

    1. DCBrighton 20 Nov 2013, 2:23pm

      Agree, can’t be doing with spelling errors.

      PS. What is ‘Homophoboc’?

      1. Unlike the illiterate moron who wrote this article I don’t pretend to be a journalist.

        What makes it worse is that he stole the article from a US site.

        1. DCBrighton 20 Nov 2013, 4:23pm

          You don’t pretend to be a journalist, but you pretend to be an arbitrator of spelling and grammar. You have proven to be wrong at both. Perhaps, you are the illiterate moron?

        2. DCBrighton 20 Nov 2013, 4:34pm

          SteveC, I have proven, without doubt, and using your own words, that you have a problem with spelling and the use of grammar. Maybe, just maybe, you should not criticise others?

        3. DCBrighton 20 Nov 2013, 5:07pm

          Lesson: SteveC: If you are a highly critical pedant criticising others, as you seem to be, with regard to spelling and grammar, you better be sure that your spelling and grammar is spot on.

        4. de Villiers 20 Nov 2013, 9:35pm


          1. de Villiers, today was a bad day for me.. my best friend, my dog, passed away this morning. but thank-you for making me laugh. I owe you one.

          2. Frank Boulton 22 Nov 2013, 1:30pm

            Do you mean “hypercrit”?

    2. Heh – Muphry’s [sic] Law strikes again!

    3. DCBrighton 20 Nov 2013, 5:19pm

      I think we heard you the first time.
      You said above, The article is ‘riddled’ with spelling mistakes and now, 4 spelling mistakes. So, is it ‘riddled’ with spelling mistakes or ‘4’ spelling mistakes? Or does “4” spelling mistakes mean “riddled” with spelling mistakes?

  3. Helen Kalmár 20 Nov 2013, 1:42pm

    Let me see, this family or the head of the family has judged a waitress gay because of the length of her hair. I am judging that this woman is a christian and devout catholic due to her ignorance and threatened behaviour of someone who is gay. If God exists then I am sure God loves everyone regardless of his/her sexuality. This woman should be named and shamed and also the restaurant should say we cannot ban you from coming in here with or without your family but you are certainly not welcome by us. I certainly do not want people like that in my bar

    1. God does not exist.

      Many Americans believe in it though.

      religious belief is a disgusting lifestyle choice.

      1. DCBrighton 20 Nov 2013, 2:27pm

        New sentences should begin with a capital letter. Got to watch out for grammar mistakes. ;)

      2. Intolerance, in all shapes and sizes, is a disgusting lifestyle choice. Whether that be religious bigotry, or intolerance of other people’s religious choices.

        Religious people should stay out of other people’s lives.
        And atheists should stay out of religious people’s lives.
        That way, everyone would be a LOT happier.

      3. You see, this is the problem with being a grammar Nazi and making comments about spelling – you then have to ensure every character and word you use is absolutely correct, otherwise you look like a fool.

        I agree that some of the errors made on PN are needless, reading through before publishing would do away with this. But to write two comments attacking PN for these, then making a basic error yourself, makes you look like a complete idiot.

  4. john dickens 20 Nov 2013, 1:44pm

    If the bigots return, I’m sure the kitchen crew will be able to put some `extras’ in their food….. heh heh.

    1. Quite, sod the high road.

      Personally if someone gave me no tip based on their snap assessment of my lifestyle and went to the trouble of goading me with their bigotry on the till receipt they’d be chowing down on ratburger and floorscrapings in a sesame bun with relish.

      And they could return as often as they liked.

    2. That There Other David 20 Nov 2013, 8:37pm

      Indeed. I hope they get food spilled on them, their meals taste like crap (because….well you know the rest), and they end up hating every single moment of it. Don’t expect good service if you do what they did.

  5. Name and shame! The moment they chose to put it in writing on the receipt, they lost all rights to privacy…why protect them? People with views like this ought to be forced to own them. It’s good that the restaurant made good on the tip, but really, are these people the kind of customers they WANT?
    I would have no problem telling these morons to go eat elsewhere, their cheap asses aren’t going to make any difference to the bottom line. Diss MY waitresses? Screw you, and your pseudo-Christian family!

  6. Dangermouse 20 Nov 2013, 2:40pm

    So having short hair is cause for bigots to guess your gay these days in the US

    1. Bigots like them don’t need an excuse to be hateful bigots, this is their job as “devout” religious nutters. They are taught to believe that they are superior to others, mainly because they have absolutely no identity or inner strength themselves and need to attack others to feel good about themselves.

      The religious are generally incredibly weak, insecure, terrified of life and so immature that they rely on making others “less than” them to give them an ego boost.

      It’s really rather sad and pathetic. We should probably feel sorry for them.

  7. No legal recourse but to serve them if they return?? Abuse of their staff on a previous visit is surely legal grounds in any sane enviroment.

    1. DCBrighton 20 Nov 2013, 4:07pm

      Taking the moral high ground is the best revenge. The bigots won’t go back, because cowards don’t. But, should they return, after serving them, why not bring out the ‘chef’. The ‘chef’ being an interracial bisexual transexual.

      1. And a card-carrying atheist.

  8. Christopher Coleman 20 Nov 2013, 6:04pm

    There are many legitimate reasons for a restaurant or other business to refuse service to a customer. Insulting a member of staff without provocation should be enough.

    1. Frank Boulton 22 Nov 2013, 1:59pm

      Yes, Christopher, I agree with you. You’ve made the most sensible comment in this whole debate. I work as a “volunteer” bartender some weekends in a little LGBTI club and we have recently implemented a policy of “zero tolerance” regarding abuse of our staff. It’s certainly sorted out the “wheat from the chaff”. Customers, who abuse staff, should be barred from retail outlets. The waitress in this case is paid to serve food and drink. She should not be treated any worse than her co-workers, whether by customers or other staff members, on the basis of her hairstyle. Why is the waitress’s short hair an issue to these customers? Do they like long-haired “chicks”? It certainly makes you wonder…..

  9. Call me an old cynic – but if the restaurant refuses to name the ‘perpetrators’ …. is it just possible that there weren’t actually any and this is simply a publicity stunt by the owners?

  10. friday jones 20 Nov 2013, 6:47pm

    Has anyone told general manager Byron Lapolla that $2.13/hour is only the MINIMUM legal wage for restaurant servers in New Jersey, and that it is perfectly legal for him to pay HIGHER wages to his wait staff? Also, his grasp of the legalities of this particular situation is completely off base, in that he can refuse service to anyone as long as the reason isn’t due to their being members of a Constitutionally “suspect” class? What they did was abuse a member of his staff, and he would be perfectly within his rights to have his restaurant refuse service to a group that had previously abused one of his staff.

    1. I think the point is that it’s morally superior to not use this argument as an excuse, in the same way that other businesses refuse to serve LGBT people.

      The pay issue is neither here nor there. No one here knows what the costs are, what the profits are, or what the financial stability of the business is. It’s very easy to point and criticize low paying businesses, for all you know he might be barely making an income himself while trying to grow his business.

      1. Frank Boulton 22 Nov 2013, 2:09pm

        And so his staff don’t deserve enough money to live….. If the proprietor can’t pay a living wage, it’s time he closed his business.

    2. Your point, friday, on the legality of banning these customers from returning is correct.

      It is funny, however, to see the anti-discrimination laws that progressives love so much being used to defend what they hate.

  11. Gina Conners 20 Nov 2013, 9:04pm

    Personally, if I was that waitress, I would just pray that the family returned to the restaurant. I’d make sure that their meals were carefully prepared, each dish lovingly seasoned with lesbian pubic hairs, alternative lifestyle saliva and GLBT crotch sweat. And when they were done, I would get the manager to comp their meal, so they would be encouraged to come back often!

    1. de Villiers 20 Nov 2013, 9:37pm

      Are you sane?

  12. Namw and shame and take the children into care away from these obnoxious bigoted imbeciles

  13. I think it’s good that the restaurant is not playing double standards here. We would rightly be up in arms if a restaurant there defied the law and refused to serve a gay couple. It’s only right that this restaurant take the higher ground and refuse to use that pathetic option to refuse service in this way. I applaud them for being morally right in this example.

    But, I would still take these people aside if they walked in and tell them, directly, that they are not welcome there, that they are only being served to comply with state law and that this is their choice. If they want to be served, they can be, but they don’t have to welcome them with open arms or give them a great experience.

    I also think the people should be named and shamed. Society is built on mutual respect of others, and when people breach that agreement the community should be made aware of it. I have no doubt that their identities are probably known locally anyway.

    1. Frank Boulton 22 Nov 2013, 2:21pm

      I think that the manager should take an ever higher ethical position. Should the offenders reurn to the restaurant he should take them aside and say, “You’re welcome to come back here any time you like, but if you ever abuse my staff again…..”

  14. Christopher in Canada 21 Nov 2013, 2:10pm

    Ummm – in Canada, many restaurants have signs in the window saying “No shirt, no shoes, no service” or “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone”.

    I wonder if that is legal or illegal… I’ll have to find out.

    1. de Villiers 21 Nov 2013, 11:40pm

      I doubt that it is legal if the refusal is on a protected ground such as sex, age, race, sexual orientation, disability.

    2. MerlynHerne 28 Nov 2013, 4:52am

      That is very specific and has to do with health regulations.

  15. Robert White 21 Nov 2013, 7:12pm

    As an aside, most bars and restraunts in the U.S. can refuse service to anybody at any time. This is to allow disruptive persons to be removed.

    I wold never threaten, condone, or anything less than revile anybody who would tamper with someone else’s food.

    But were I this family I wouldn’t expect to receive prompt service because they are crappy tippers — regardless of cause.

    I’d greet these people wiht an “Oh, I remember you. I’m surprised to see you again so soon. We’ve framed your last visit.” and leave them to dine in paranoid shame.

    New Jersey is something of a “red state” so the entitled religious stupidity is unliekly be survivably punished by the restraunt itself. If they actually barred the douchersons then they might have general backlash from the dinks who secretly wish they had the gall to do something similar.

    Other servers at other restraunts should knowingly greet the same individuals, even shuffling the most “apparently gay” servers onto their tables for a while.

    1. Frank Boulton 22 Nov 2013, 2:33pm

      If I were the waitress and the bigots came back into the restaurant, where I worked, I’d just ask them, “OMG, and with hairdos like that, what’s your lifestyle predilection?” Those who diss, can’t take.

  16. I’m amazed by the whole idea of refusing a tip because of someone’s supposed ‘lifestyle’. What the hell has that got to do with the value of the service received? Are these people basically tight-wads as well as bigots? it makes their self-righteousness even more ludicrous and offensive.

  17. The waitress made up the whole thing. The real receipt shows a 20% tip and no mean note. She’s just trying to incite hatred over an incident that only happened in her own head.

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