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Ricky Martin: ‘I used to bully people I knew were gay’

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  1. If this is his way of trying to get the public onto his side, it won’t wash with me. Shameful.

    1. Oh do shutup – he’s had the balls to admit it – that’s the main thing

      1. yeah but only when the press were going to finally out him – The man’s a spinless closet who only came out cause he had no choice! you Shut up FOOL!

    2. Zidders Roofurry 27 Aug 2013, 11:29am

      ..’get them onto his side’? He’s gay, came out in 2010 and has been doing a LOT to help the LGBT community. He’s had us on his side for a long time now.

      What he’s TRYING to do is get people who bully others because they’re scared of who they really are and take it out on them to stop doing it and realize that it’s ok to be who and what they are.

      The fact that you can’t see that is shameful.

  2. Who knows some kid somewhere may realise they are doing the same thing. The bullier has as many issues as the bullied. The problem needs to be seen holistically.

  3. How much longer is the world going to ignore the TRUE cause of homophobia? It is ‘self-hatred’ projected outwardly. “Show me a homophobe – I’ll show you a closet case”. People who are ‘comfortable’ with their sexuality are NEVER homophobic. And don’t give me any guff about ‘religious belief’. Religious homophobes use the bible to justify their self-loathing.

    1. Very well put… of course not all those who have same sex attraction are predominantly attracted to their own sex, MSM are often in a long lasting opposite sex relationship and may have eposodic same sex relationships and are predominantly hetro.

      1. I have to disagree with you about MSM. Yes they may be in long lasting opposite sex relationships but not because they are predominantly hetero but because they have chosen to publicly conform to the norm of society. They use any and every opportunity to have sex with other men and if these incidents are infrequent it is not from a lack of desire but a lack of opportunity.

        1. Surely not all bisexuals are predominately drawn towards the same sex?

          1. Hmmm….thank you for your question Rehan. I can always rely on you to comment on my comment :).

            To answer your question I will preface my answer by stating that what I am about to say is with regards to men only.

            I once in awhile do sleep with women but consider myself gay not bisexual. I do not believe in bisexuality as such (for men….women are from Venus and that is another world).

            All the men that I have known who identify as bisexual have been in relationships with women. When I say to them that I do not believe in bisexuality as such (for men) I always ask them the same question. That being:

            “If you were given an ultimatum that as of tomorrow you could only ever sleep with women or men but not both which would you choose?”

            And every time the answer is the same.

            “I guess I am gay”

            And the penny finally drops.

            Hope that answers your question. No doubt there will be another. :)

            Oh well…guess I haven’t had any thumbs down for a few days.

          2. Yes, well, fair enough, but then what about those men who identify as heterosexual but have sex with men occasionally, just as you do with women? (I don’t need to tell you that ‘MSM’ and identifying oneself as bisexual is not at all the same thing.)

          3. Hmmm. The difference.

            I identify as a gay man because that is exactly what I am – an openly gay man. My preference is men. I once in awhile sleep with women but I do not actively seek out women for sex nor do I make the first approach. It is certainly not hard in today’s society to find a woman to have sex with and any man who claims otherwise must have something seriously wrong with him. If I never slept with a woman again it simply wouldn’t bother me.

            Now when you refer to men who identify as heterosexual but occasionally have sex with other men, I take it you are referring to men like Cardinal O’Brien, George Rekers, Troy King and the like. All these men identified as heterosexual but I don’t think anyone straight or gay would consider them to be. The only difference between these men and other men who identify as heterosexual but have sex with other men is that the former were caught with their pants down.

          4. The similarity between all of them is that they actively seek out other men with whom they can have sex.

            I don’t know of any man who identifies as heterosexual who has or is willing to admit to his wife, girlfriend, mates, work colleagues and the public at large that he has sex with other men. Why?

            Because he is not heterosexual and no-one would consider him to be. That is why he keeps his ‘dirty little secret’ under wraps and goes to great lengths to ensure no-one finds out.

            The idea that a man can have sex with other men and still be considered heterosexual is no more plausible than a gay man undergoing conversion therapy and turning straight.

            Both groups are deluding themselves as to their sexuality.

            As to the term MSM it is farcical and to gay men it is insulting. The term simply originated so as to include men who deny their sexuality and are basically liars. I didn’t come out of the closet to simply be lumped in with this lot.

            Cheers

          5. Actually though, I wasn’t thinking of sleazebags like O’Brien and the others, but the many men you could meet in gyms/the armed forces/mixed clubs etc for whom your first paragraph above could just as easily apply with the pronouns reversed thus: My preference is women. I once in awhile sleep with men but I do not actively seek out men for sex nor do I make the first approach. It is certainly not hard in today’s society to find a man to have sex with and any man who claims otherwise must have something seriously wrong with him. If I never slept with a man again it simply wouldn’t bother me.

            It’s not actually a level playing-field, granted: gay men who occasionally have sex with women are far more likely to speak of it than mainly-heterosexual men who have sex with men, partly because in some circles it’s regrettably seen as some sort of badge of honour, while that certainly isn’t the case the other way round.

          6. I am sure you weren’t thinking about the likes of O’Brien, Rekers, King and the rest because it undermines your argument. But the fact remains they are all the same. The only difference between them and any other man who identifies as heterosexual but sleeps with other men is they got caught.

            And aren’t they all sleaze bags one way or the other? Let them tell their wives or girlfriends that they have sex with men. I am sure they would be called a lot worse. And do not think these men don’t make fun of gay men when they are with their mates. It helps to camouflage their own sexuality.

            Do you think they go to the gym or pool and just happen to get ‘lucky’? They go to particular venues at particular times because they know that they will find exactly what they looking for. They have profiles on every gay web site or app going.

            So to say that these men do not actively seek out other men is a stretching reality there Rehan.

          7. These supposedly heterosexual men literally hang out for a bit of man on man action whenever they can get it.

            And as I said previously I don’t go looking for sex with women or hang out for it. If I never had sex with a woman again it simply wouldn’t bother me. I don’t think the men you refer to could say the same in all honesty. But then honesty probably is a concept very foreign to them.

            I live my life as an openly gay man. Why would anyone do so unless they were gay considering all the crap, abuse and discrimination at goes with it? There is nothing to gain from doing so except living your life honestly.

            Now why would someone who sleeps with men identify or claim to be heterosexual? What possible reason could they have to be so dishonest? Hmmmm….let me think on that.

            Rehan I am aware that I rub you up the wrong way that is why you always comment on my comments. But sometimes in life you really do need to let go of the bone before it chokes you :)

            .

          8. Sorry almost forgot. The playing field you speak of is one created by heterosexuals, the rules of the game have been made up by heterosexuals all for the benefit of heterosexuals. And it is they who will be most scathing about someone who claims to be heterosexual when they are not.

            With regards the badge of honour. I can assure you that is a very heterosexual mindset and I am not hetero. Although my mates know I sleep with women once in awhile it is something I generally do not broadcast in the gay community…as it is not seen as a badge of honour but more likely a badge of weirdness . However, If eople have problems with it it is just that….their problem.

            I am confident in my sexuality and how I view my masculinity has nothing to do with who I do or do not sleep with. Once again that is a very hetero mindset.

            Have a good one

          9. Bit of a persecution complex there, young Jake. And a little too given to making sweeping generalisations, but perhaps that’s due to youth. It’s very telling that you claim repeatedly that you merely succumb to women just throwing themselves at you, but apparently find it impossible to believe there may be men who are like that with other men. Still, I think this argument has played itself out now, don’t you?

  4. I used to be a self-loather too but instead of taking it out on innocent people who were braver than I was I’d just get stoned

    1. Firstly, well done for finally accepting who you really are. Yup. Many wife-beaters are ‘closet cases’ too. It’s all about frustration – the frustration of being labelled by society – and religion particularly – as ‘unnatural’ when ALL your instincts are telling you that those instincts are totally ‘natural’ to you. So, you suppress those feelings. And suppression takes a very serious toll, psychologically and emotionally. If it were not for the taboos and stigma which religion imposes on society, there would be far fewer suicides, particularly among younder people.

  5. Yeah Ricky most Closet cases do -

  6. Robert in S. Kensington 27 Aug 2013, 11:58am

    Religious bullies take note. The most vocal ones in opposition to our sex lives and their obsession therewith are the most suspect, especially the ones with the biggest mouths, the protagonists in homophobia, the CoE and RCC.

  7. A brave and honest admission.

    Whenever I see the phrase ‘straight-acting’ I smell the scent of internalised homophobia.

  8. This argument is always overplayed. Some active and outspoken homophobes certainly are closets projecting their self-hatred onto others – but many are simply people who are hostile and disparaging to anything that does not conform to their social expectations. Many like to feel validated by having social permission to devalue others. Saying that all homophobes are closet gays is like saying that all racists really belong to the ethnic groups they dislike. It’s nonsense. Individual human bigotry is as variegated in its causes as in its expression, even if the type of bigotry in question is broadly characteristic of a collective culture.

    1. Many like to feel validated by having social permission to devalue others.

      I couldn’t agree with you more, Riondo.

  9. Sorry but I can’t stand him.

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