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Stephen Fry thanks public for ‘warm and caring’ support following suicide revelation

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  1. Peter Robertson 25 Jun 2013, 1:44pm

    I think Stephen sums it up perfectly when he says “I am lonely in a crowd of people who are mostly very nice to me and appear to be pleased to meet me”.

    This type of loneliness has nothing to do with being alone, but is about feeling alone when surrounded by friends and doubting that they really are genuinely pleased to be in your company.

    1. I have and still feel similarly to Mr. Fry, but unlike the above Mr. Robertson’s comments, I have no doubt my friends are genuine, all are very caring. For me, after being the dutiful son, friend and citizen after a misstep that landed me 30 days in jail 30 years ago (too easily Googled), I have lost jobs and friends on a continuous 5 year cycle; constantly having to move and find a new job, regardless of my honorable military service, a B.S. in Electronics Eng Tech, and 3 decades of computer/tech and retail experience.
      As a result, I have been unemployed for 2 years and battling high school teens for jobs. Unlike most of the world, in the US, whenever someone is charged with a crime, they are socially persecuted for life. People will grab every opportunity to feel superior and sit in judgement. That is a major reason why I like the UK (caring people & no guns).
      Mr. Fry, I feel your pain. If you need a hug, I could use one, too, and I’d jump on a plane to do it.

      1. Helge Vladimir Tiller 25 Jun 2013, 7:27pm

        Dear Aryugaetu, I like Your comment–and Peter Robertson’s as well. I’ve felt lonely all my life; due to violence in my childhood ( my father almost beat me to death— I have complex PTSD) and extremely much discrimination later in life–without going into details. Refused education in 1975. I broke down totally. No contact with relatives or family and so on , and so on. All this ’cause I was effeminate and gay. Still I feel life is wonderful. BECAUSE I can help other people- other LGBT persons all around the world ; Gay refugees from Iran and Irak for instance-young gays and lesbians in my own Norway. Taking part in Pride celebrations is very important to me. That’s when I can meet MY Real Family ! Tomorrow Pride Park will open here in Oslo. I’m longing to go there. Hard for me to sleep the coming night- I’m so excited. I never got an education because of all this violence. But life gave me the chance to love people I do not know. There is always somone out there, waiting for me !

  2. We love you, Stephen Fry!

  3. it seems totally banal to suggest we’ve all been there, but to my amazement and delight, i don’t know a single person who hasn’t thought (incorrectly!) that the world would be a better place without them in it (myself included, deeply). but it takes more courage than society gives credit for to continue on regardless. life really IS the cruelest punishment! so stephen, we may not all be bipolar but most of us have felt lonely and insignificant but continue on all the same! it’s just being human after all. love you

  4. it seems so banal to suggest we’ve all been there, but to my amazement and delight, i don’t know a single person who hasn’t thought (incorrectly!) that the world would be a better place without them in it (myself included, deeply!). but it takes more courage than society gives credit for to continue on regardless. life really IS the cruelest punishment! so stephen, we may not all be bipolar but most of us have felt lonely and insignificant but continue on all the same! it’s just being human!

  5. I can understand the problems he faced at that time, I nearly committed suicide in 1986, living in Chester, I felt that the world was against me at that time, I needed an operation , although living with my partner at that time, and was branded a homosexual on my blood test form, and the foreign consultant, shouted at me ‘as being an Aids carrier’, I ended up in the same hospital after a prescribed drug overdose. I had my operation in London hospital. Such was the hysteria at that time.

  6. Unfortunately, thanks to current policy, most people who are struggling with mental health conditions will not be warmly shaken by the hand – they will be cursed at, sneered at, damned and called scroungers while they deal with a woefully under-funded and often hopelessly inadequate mental health system.

    I’m glad Stephen Fry got the help he needed, relieved he is still with us, know it would have been a terrible tragedy to have lost such a fine and wise man.

    But to paint a fluffy picture of a world without stigma, where those who struggle are cared about by strangers as he describes, really bothers me as it is just not the truth for far too many and sends out the illusion of a time and place where work and advocacy is not needed.

  7. Fry has show so much courage and altruism (is that a word?) putting this very personal info about himself out there to help fight the stigma of mental illness and loneliness. It was a huge risk for him as many people are very judgmental especially about issues about suicide. He should be very proud of himself as he has made a positive difference to many people’s lives. including mine.

  8. Julie Lancaster 25 Jun 2013, 11:24pm

    I so sad and lonely most of the time…I know people love me but It doesn’t help when your in that state of mind.
    I can’t even write any more, wish that I could…I know many things about what some of us feel like.
    Please give people tips and warning sing so that they may be there to help you through very dark days…I wish I had.

    1. Helge Vladimir Tiller 26 Jun 2013, 8:37am

      Dear Julie-You have just been writing ! It is almost impossible to give an advice to persons you don’t know personally. BUT, If you have a deep depression, YOU MUST SEE a doctor. That is for sure. Are you open to persons you know. I mean totally open about what you feel and your symptoms ? Often medication is very helpful against depression. Have you got friends you really trust ? Good friends are out there, somewhere- I KNOW ! Let some kind of organization find them. Be it a religious one or not. I DO SEND YOU WARM WISHES AND LOVE FROM OSLO, NORWAY ! Today I will be thinking of lovely Julie Lancaster in The UK !!!

    2. Terri Hemker 26 Jun 2013, 1:52pm

      God bless you, Julie! I have been in that darkest of despair for much of my life. I do understand, believe me! I would have given up long ago but for the persistence and love of my son, Toby, who is also bipolar like me and who showed me the way with his courage. We will be keeping you in our prayers but, more importantly, you do need to get help. Please don’t go alone. Take an advocate of some kind with you, a friend, a pastor, someone you feel you can trust when you go to find treatment. When we are in this deeply depressed state it is far too easy to let just anyone do anything to us without really checking into just what they are prescribing, etc. as we are so desperate. That has caused me no end of trouble. There is hope. I am finally on the right meds and am blossoming after 50 years! Love to you!

  9. Terri Hemker 26 Jun 2013, 1:46pm

    We love you, Stephen, I and my son, both of us bipolar and rejected by our families. We have had to create new families for ourselves among those ‘nice’ people. You are one of those. You’ve been very kind to my son and we both think you’re brave and wonderful!

  10. Thanks Stephen for sharing this very real experience and you are right, there many people, including those like me who see lots of things differently to you, who can and do empathise and wish you all the best in life. After all, a man who loves and understands Test Match Special and the Archers does have a lot going for him :-)

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