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South Africa: Dead teen was beaten, starved and forced to eat faeces at camp linked to ‘gay conversion’

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  1. “I sent my son on this course to make him a better man, to give him a better future,” Wilma Buys said,
    How utterly sad and pathetic is this woman, she is just as bad as these evil indivisuals clearly she was not happy with the son she bore but she believe them and not her son. I hope the pain of his death is with her unril her dieing day

    1. I hope they send this woman and the father , do not forget the father to the same camp to become better parents !

    2. de Villiers 29 Apr 2013, 7:57pm

      Joe, that is a disgusting thing to say. We do not know the level of education of this woman or what are the normative values where she lives. She might be a bad woman but she might just be pathetic as you said.

      I should hope that she would never have thought that her son would be abused in the way that he was. If she did, then she should be severely condamned by the state. If she did not, then it makes this story all the worse.

      For her to lose a son is dreadful. This tragic story should be given wide publicity to inform all other mothers that this is not an appropriate course.

      1. Jesus Christ you idiot. Do feel emboldened to show your racist behavious after defending ukip? Nasty person

        1. de Villiers 1 May 2013, 11:11pm

          A truly sick person you are James – using the story of a dead and tortured gay boy to score a petty point.

          How dreadfully sad.

      2. i’d say this mother, educated or not, got what she wanted: a dead son. progress in this world operates at snail’s pace, i’m afraid.

    3. I agree with Joe. The mother would have been aware of his condition and/or his unhappiness. She is a cruel bitch who does not deserve to be a parent. It matters not what her level of education or financial status is – unless you think all poor people are unfit parents.
      What a thoroughly tragic story. Keep us posted on the trial, PN.

      1. Hardly poor, if she could afford £1500 for such a course.

        1. If they think it will “help make a man” out of a gay son, some of these people will do everything they can to raise the money to get their child “fixed”.
          My oersonal opinion is that parents who do this should be “fixed” from being able to give birth! Some people should never be allowed to have children in the first place!

        2. If they think it will “help make a man” out of a gay son, some of these people will do everything they can to raise the money to get their child “fixed”.
          My personal opinion is that parents who do this should be “fixed” from being able to give birth! Some people should never be allowed to have children in the first place!

          1. Apologies for the double posting. there was some weird “jump” in my computer that made me think this didn’t post the first time.

      2. de Villiers 2 May 2013, 3:50pm

        I said nothing about this woman being poor.

        1. My comment was in response to Cal’s reference to her possible financial status.

  2. I’m fairly sure that love, acceptance and guidance was all this young man needed to give him a better and bright future. For her to not investigate the injuries and allegations is unconscionable. May she never know another day of peace.

  3. These people are worse than animals – when we decent people stand up to this vile hatred –

    I am ashamed to be a human being!

    1. Really? Is that just a momentary expression, or are you really cringing right now, with tears streaming from eyes? ;-) Don’t say things you don’t really mean, eh.

  4. why would u send a kid to a place where other campers have died at the hand of the owners? This story is almost unbelievable.

    1. Sad sick perverted people running this “camp”l- and the parents arent any better!!!

    2. and yet, I don’t wish to curse the mother with grief and sorrow til her dying day…as some have…..she will anyway, but there’s no need for others to sit their in self righteous judgement and wish it upon her….how does that make you any better than them?

      1. The simple answer is that the only way to deter other parents from packing their gay kids off to conversion therapy is to shame them beforehand. This woman did no homework in advance. She sent her kid to a camp where two other children had died and the owner had been criminally charged in one of the deaths. She was an unfit mother and her grief is not enough punishment. She’s clearly sociopathic and it will take heaps of shaming to reach her.

  5. no need to wish all the suffering and pain on the parents for their mistake. They will no doubt suffer for it, but why curse them with your words and condemn them to the suffering? How does that make you any better than them?

  6. Some frikin mother .

  7. The attitude of the people (probably brutal Afrikaners?) running this group takes me back to university days, after the long summer holiday. There was a guy on my course, 19 years old, same as me, whom I was certain was gay though he would never let on.

    Anyway, I asked him how his vacation had gone and he actually said, “I’ve been in the army. Toughening up!.” And as he said it he had a slight sneer on his face, seeming to suggest that I could have done with doing the same.

    I wonder how long his toughening-up lasted.

    1. L. Marshall 29 Apr 2013, 8:28pm

      Hard to believe this is happening in what is considered to be the civilized world. Please tell me that they have been shut down and the operators are in jail.

      1. They’re currently on trial for murder, assault and a bunch of other charges.

    2. Spanner1960 30 Apr 2013, 8:53am

      Are you implying that all Afrikaans people are brutal?

      1. Defending them spanner you are so predictable

        1. Spanner1960 30 Apr 2013, 12:46pm

          You really are scum. You bleat on about stereotyping, yet you spout this racist shit.

          My first true boyfriend was South African/Zimbabwean, and I am in a CP of five years with an Afrikaans guy.
          I have spent many months in their country, and I can assure you that most are very open, friendly and decent people.

          1. James hasn’t said anything racist – or am I missing something?

            You seem to be quite passionate about South Africa and its people.

            It’s not right when certain people generalise a certain section of society, don’t you think, Spanner?

          2. Spanner1960 30 Apr 2013, 9:49pm

            @Bob: I assume you think I make sweeping generalisations about people, or groups and races?
            I agree I am not immune to it, and I do think there are certain noticeable traits – Africans, both black and white tend to be homophobic, but that is down to culture and upbringing, and it is up to us more civilised countries to bring them round to a more reasonable way of thinking.
            Bith my South African partners went through a lot of turmoil with their friends and families about being gay, but over time, people mellow. We need to help, not point fingers and cast dispersions. All people like James! do is make matters worse.

  8. All I need is ten minutes in a locked room with those disgusting men.

    And as for the sick and twisted “parents”, they should be on trial too. If someone knowingly hands their child to another for abuse, they are complicit. His mother should be locked up along with those sick men.

  9. Well, I’m speachless. How come that parents can do that to their children? As Marjo said we should sent those parents to the same camp with the same treatment to make them better parents. Wonder if the result would be the same.

  10. Michael Stevens 29 Apr 2013, 9:28pm

    What can you say? The sorrow and rage I feel about this is overwhelming. The terror and fear that would have filled this poor boy’s last weeks on Earth – unforgiveable.

  11. Horrifying beyond horrifying.

    This sounds like a camp run by bona fide fascists. Let’s trust that the courts of South Africa will provide the closest thing to justice possible under the circumstances.

    1. “This sounds like a camp run by bona fide fascists.”

      You are very close to the truth. According to other media reports, the people responsible are members of (or at least involved with) the Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging (AWB), which is an honest-to-goodness neo-Nazi group.

  12. usually I am one of those who almost always has something to say.

    I think of that poor innocent teenager, and it hurts deep inside…

    I have no empathy for these “parents”, and can’t even be furious with those guys. They are scum, and they must be locked up.

    Poor kids, not only in SA but all over the world.

  13. douglas in canada 29 Apr 2013, 10:33pm

    In all probability, the parents only heard about the “positive” side of the camp.

    The camp itself obviously would hide or underplay any negative reports.

    There are many times in life when we hear one side of the story – we buy into it – and only later do we hear that it was a sham.

    It’s a shame that youths are harmed in process. The people in charge need to be jailed for a long time.

  14. soapbubblequeen 29 Apr 2013, 11:04pm

    DeKoker, piece of FILTH!! I hope you die the agonizing slow death you deserve.

  15. dont 4get this is the country notorious for ‘conversion rape’ for lesbians or percieved lesbians and violent murder often with dismembered body parts for gay men. WELCOME TO AFRICA! and behind it all…Yup, u guessed it .WESTERN EVANGELICAL CHURCHES from the US and the long arm of world Anglicanism that does not lift a finger to reign in the more rabid of its exponents

    http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/05/28/120528fa_fact_huntergault

    1. Spanner1960 30 Apr 2013, 12:11am

      Actually, that is an entirely different outfit driven by black spiritualism and superstition.
      This is white Afrikaaner right wing pseudo-paramilitaries.
      Both just as despicable, but not to be confused with one another.

      1. JackAlison 30 Apr 2013, 1:19am

        they are to be very much ‘confused.’ there is an overwhelming tendency in africaans white supremiscist and black african culture to violently persecute and surpress gay and lesbian human rights. They both blindly adhere to a sect like cults and cult leaders that gives them a moral ‘get out of jail card’ for their human rights abuses.

        1. Spanner1960 30 Apr 2013, 8:56am

          Their homophobic attitude might be the same, but they are two entirely different groups of people with different motives.
          (and they also hate each other)

          1. JackAlison 30 Apr 2013, 2:17pm

            irrelavant disclaimer
            the BOTH spawn the homophobia…the particular reasons are in their mindset….the actions are identical…
            that is the universal nature of prejudice

          2. Spanner1960 30 Apr 2013, 9:44pm

            @Jack:
            By that statement then, I assume you consider the concept of hate crimes also irrelevant, as the motives are not deemed important, only the resultant actions?

  16. Let’s not beat around the bush: these camps are a form of slavery. Plain and simple. The people who run these camps should be tried for crimes against humanity.

    This won’t happen of course. What will happen is this: nothing. Well, they may give a slap on the wrist, but that’s all.

    If the parents knew they were sending their child to an anti-gay camp (which they may or may not have – it’s not clear by the context; they may have been misled and decieved – then they should be tried for manslaughter and get nothing from me but utter contempt.

  17. The Afrikaans can’t abuse black people. In public anyway so they attack the next best thing. Dirty animals

    1. Stupid comment James. Given that Buys is generally an Afrikaans surname. You are as bad as this boys idiot parents. You foster generalisations and bigotory.

    2. Spanner1960 30 Apr 2013, 8:49am

      You are a total cretin that knows nothing about the country.

      1. You are a filthy racist pig who know nothing about anything

        1. Spanner1960 30 Apr 2013, 12:48pm

          Pot. Kettle. Black.
          I’m not the one calling Afrikaaners brutal.

    3. James!, it’s disappointing to see that someone who – rightly – protests every time racist generalisations are made is capable of doing the same thing himself. Even if the majority of Afrikaners are in fact anti-gay, it doesn’t mean they all are or that they’re so because of their ethnicity.

      1. You’re right. I was still reeling after dealing with that tool

  18. MerlynHerne 30 Apr 2013, 3:20am

    This is absolutely disgusting. This is what homohatred results in–dead and abused children. I do hold the mother responsible since she should have checked the place out before sending her child there (I know that begs the question of why anyone should be sent to these camps at all and I am against that). Glad to see the owners up on murder and assault charges and agreed–the mother should be brought up on charges as well. .

  19. Colin (London) 30 Apr 2013, 4:18am

    The men involved. I hope they lock you up and throw away the keys. Also you meet someone who teaches you a lesson on the inside. Barbaric and wrong on every level.

    The families must be gutted in extreme but surely must accept some of the responsibility as at any level I can think of they are responsibile for the young mens safety no matter what.

    If it was an attempt to change their sexuality then it is a reflection on all of our societies attitudes that we must change asap both in SA and every other country.

    Please anyone who has influence in communities, business or education highlight this barbaric act and ask your community to be inclusive.

  20. And I have just returned from South Africa on a wildlife holiday.

  21. Homophobes are monsters – I hope our church leaders and MPs who have been vocal in their anti-gay opposition to civil rights such as equal marriage are reading this shocking news story and it makes them think – “Do I really want to be on the same side of the fence as appalling gay-hating thugs like Alex de Koker?”.

  22. What an absolutely appalling story. The amount of hatred, suppressed or otherwise, that must underpin such brutality is almost unimaginable. The social conventions that equate this sort of thing with manliness are so misguided it’s tragic.

  23. “Raymond was only allowed to speak to me on speakerphone,” she said. “When I asked him why he was hurting himself, he told me ‘Mum, I’m not doing it to myself’.”
    And yet she left him there ?????

  24. For once…. words utterly fail me…

    1. i am a 54 yr old disabled man with brain damage ‘possibly’ caused by my father’s desire to make a ‘man’ of me, thinking violence would do this. Ironically, I am more a man than he ever was. I find it hard to feel compassion for the mother in this case though I don’t feel hatred for her either. Hatred is such a waste of energy and does so much harm. I know what it is to be hated and the damage hatred does.I refuse to justify hate because of the pain it causes me. Hatred will not cure me nor stop pain. It will only add to it. Look what hatred did to this poor boy.I know not to hate.This doesn’t mean I forgive or want those who harmed me in my life.It just means I do not sully myself by allowing their hatred to infect me.Meeting hatred with hatred doesn’t decrease pain, in increases pain. I understand pain intimately, both physical (24/7 for years now) and emotional pain. The worst is the emotional and the ridding myself of that makes living with the physical pain easy by comparison.

  25. Whilst it is VERY easy to ‘blame’ the mother, she thought she was doing the right thing based on her understanding and her culture.

    Whatever her reasons, her son did not deserve to die and the ‘blame’ must really rest with the ‘camp’ and those who tortured this young man.

    1. She already knew that people died when were sent there so…sending a 15 year old there is a major mistake in the first place!

  26. This is the most harrowing item I’ve read in a long time. Will the third death be the charm for de Koker’s incarceration?

    These camps once flourished in the US, but seem now to be dying out–due largely to behavior like this. Common to most of them were a faint grasp of real pedagogy and a young, untrained staff for whom “might makes right” was the student interface.

    This whole approach to education, wherever it is found in the world, is run by strutting jackasses, and is sickening.

  27. DJ Wynyard 2 May 2013, 12:09am

    “De Koker faced a suspended prison sentence in 2009, following the death of Mr Calitz, but did not face criminal charges for the death of Mr van der Walt.”
    Those who put this criminal back into society should also be facing murder charges as accessories before the fact.

  28. James Campbell 2 May 2013, 8:27pm

    Two million Syrian children are victims of war;
    North Korea can back up their paranoid threats with nuclear weapons;
    24,000 elderly’ people (with the majority of victims over 75) in the UK died because of cold homes’ in 2011;
    More than half of South Africa’s children live in poverty …….

    And parents in South Africa are sending their sons to a camp on suspicion that they are gay to “make a man” out of them? ……

    I wish South Africans and the rest of the world who get their knickers in a twist over the mere suggestion that two people find each other attractive would get their priorities in the right order. If anyone doesn’t ‘like’ gay life then they don’t have to join in. If they need something to disapprove of then they could start getting involved with the short list of REAL issues above.

  29. What sort of insanity is this??
    Poor, poor boys.

  30. Hagen Ulrich 6 May 2013, 9:51am

    I wrote about this terrible case of torture in my german blog. And one day, I hope to see that de Koker was condamned to stay in prison for the rest of his life.

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