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US: Man arrested and given restraining order for refusing to leave partner’s hospital bedside

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  1. What a horrible thing to happen!

    I am guessing that Allen Mansell’s family might not like the fact that he is in a gay relationship. Why else would they take out a restraining order on Roger?

    1. Christine Beckett 11 Apr 2013, 4:57pm

      It is not clear who took out the restraining Order. Might it have been the hospital?

  2. All the more reason to have a change in federal law. Equal rights will sort out these vile bigoted people, their bellowing will have no teeth then.

    1. Good idea but it’s not just the hospital – the state law in Missouri that same-sex relationships aren’t recognised at all for hospital visitation (amongst other things).

    2. It seems hard to believe, but that hospital actually has an “ethics compliance officer”.

      Not sure WHOSE ethics!

      Ethics Compliance Officer: Liz Tremain (816) 276-3306

      Dial 00 1 816 276 3306 to reach her from the UK … assuming she works 0900-1700 local time then that’s 1500-2300 UK time.

  3. Godric Godricson 11 Apr 2013, 5:20pm

    This is terrible and a worry to LGBT people. I hope that UK hospitals would handle this situation more appropriately. The support we receive in hospital is so fragile and sometime depends on a single person making a difference for the better?

    1. Robert in S. Kensington 11 Apr 2013, 5:58pm

      I was under the impression that CPs grant a couple the right to visitation and taking medical decisions for each other in a UK hospital setting since the Tories and others in opposition keep insisting they confer the same rights of marriage.

      1. They do when you are given your cp certificates you are told to give one or a copy to your GP to make them aware that your partner is your legal next of kin. Or at least this is what our registra told us.

  4. This is why civil same-sex marriage has got to be made legal everywhere. Without such legal status, immediate family will always have greater rights than partners, and if they’re hostile – as is clearly the case here – this is the sort of result you can expect.

  5. Scant details here. Something is missing.

    Is Allen Mansell in a coma?

    If not, how is a restraining order on his partner a comfort to him?

  6. “We believe involving the family is an important part of the patient care process,” the hospital said in a statement. “And, the patient`s needs are always our first priority. When anyone becomes disruptive to providing the necessary patient care, we involve our security team to help calm the situation and to protect our patients ”

    So, if they don’t discriminate why wasn’t the “family member” requested to leave instead of the partner? Rings a little hollow and self serving.

    1. Family will, and as it should, always take priority over a sex partner.
      It’s not discrimination just cause the guy didn’t get his way and threw a hissy fit big enough to require legal action.

      1. You are sorely mistaken. A romantic partner and, as was pointed out, husband of the patient, should ALWAYS take precedence over intermediate family. That’s what the power of attorney is FOR. Obviously the patient made his choice and his family and nursing personell couldn’t respect that. Shame on them.

      2. They are civil union partners,together for 5 yrs. More than just a sex partner eh? This is why marriage equality is so important. Family is defined by more than just bloodlines.

      3. You automatically assume that sex is basically the only thing a gay partnership is about. Which reveals that you are an ignorant homophobe.

        1. And probably a self loathing, hypocritical, closet case.

        2. Spanner1960 12 Apr 2013, 2:04pm

          These people assume that people marry to have children, so if you can’t have children, you must only be doing it for the sex.

          I pity these poor souls trapped in unloving marriages because they feel they must do it out of some social or religious commitment, and not because they actually want to be with that person.

      4. Keith Francis Farrell 12 Apr 2013, 12:20pm

        I would assume that if anything happens and this spouse has the document he could get an order against the family and if nessarry take the whole fmily to court for damages. That is what I would do if my spouses family tried anything like that. If he died. I would take them for everything they own

  7. I am so thankful that my partner and I have had no issues in the UK. She has just given birth to our twins and all the staff recognise me as the other parent despite the fact we are not in a CP.

  8. WOW.. thats truly SAD! Fight for your partner…. that’s very inhumane to do…. We will have full EQUALITY one day!

  9. colonelkira 11 Apr 2013, 7:37pm

    Read the latest hospital statement…….I am inclined to believe them….

    1. Bill Cameron 11 Apr 2013, 7:48pm

      This so-called statement sounds like a belated effort to cover themselves legally and sounds barely credible. I’m not buying the hospital’s story for one second.

  10. Peter & Michael 11 Apr 2013, 7:44pm

    This matter should be taken to the highest level to President Obama who must intervene is this matter, no person should be separated from their loved one in a hospital and those that have enacted civil injustice should be prosecuted.

    1. Peter & Michael 11 Apr 2013, 7:46pm

      ‘in this matter’ sorry page goes up and down whilst typing.

  11. Probably tried to pull that Gay bully crap and the cops wouldn’t have any of it.

    1. ed we are so thrill that you chose to post your ‘intelectual’ gems on gay website, i imagine it must be such daunting experience for homophobe and troll in one

  12. I too haven’t experienced any problems in the UK in this regard. I was in a relationship (not a legally recognized partnership) when my then partner suffered heart failure, and both our local hospital and Birmingham specialist care treated me like his husband, to his wishes.

    There seems to be little bureaucracy and religious insanity in our medical system compared to America, which kind of shows just how backward the USA is in these things.

  13. I would encourage you all to post on both there website and on their FB page.

    This is disgusting in this day and age.

    It sounds like some of the crap that friends went through 20 + years ago over partners with AIDS.
    This is what I have just posted on their FB page.

    It sounds like you have created a PR and legal nightmare. My advise to you would be to have a meeting with the ‘husband’ immediately and sort this out. The law suit will end up costing you millions for the trauma you are causing. The ‘Family’ have no legal rights over and above that of the spouse.

    Do you guys not know what the hippocratic oath states? ‘To do no harm!’

    You are now being ridiculed worldwide. I would resign before you get sued personally for a great deal of money

  14. litigation route would now be the most sensible option

    1. I agree. The President instituted a new olicy on this 2 years ago and this hospital is obviously violating that. That hospital will pay for that mistake.

  15. It is really amazing how matters differ between the two countries- when my partner was hospitalised, he informed the staff (in London) that I was his partner, and that was that. No blocking, no questions, no hesitation in giving me relevant information- and certainly no proof asked for! Like many on here, I have posted on their Faceache page to express my disgust- but i rather expect they’ll delete it.

  16. Phone these people and tell them how disgusting their conduct has been –
    Media Relations: Denise Charpentier (816) 276-9293
    Ethics Officer: Liz Tremain (816) 276-3306

    1. Unimaginable pain. So awful. No one should be so evil as to request this action. Or to enforce it. Shame on the relative and shame on the hospital.

  17. Absolutely unconscionable. Contact the Governor of Missouri, Jay Nixon, and let him know how shameful you it is that this occurred: Phone: 1 (573) 751-3222

  18. This is a horrible situation, and I truly feel for the mans partner.

    As I have aged… naturally the people I know in life have been together longer, I never questioned the implications that could affect them. It was situations like this man given a restraining order which made my own thoughts and support for equal marriage evolve.

    I realized and supported other people in their wish to marry, even though it’s unlikely to ever be my situation. Then I saw the attached video and was 100% behind it, It’s important to ensure no one experiences this kind of heart ache…Please watch and share!

    1. A documentary was actually made about the above people in the video, so here is the link to that…

    2. 1 year later… Shane’s plea for support for Equality across the US.

    1. It’s an interesting and informative article on the story!

      Given the daughters statement about the altercation, I suspect (possibly) a nurse or any one going to investigate an altercation in a patients room, might be mistaken in attributing blame to the person who may have been the most vocal in the disturbance as she entered, in this case not the brother who was the instigator, but the partner responding! Subsequently and unfortunately he became the party ejected. Time will tell, but it’s a very sad and inexcusable situation.

  19. Robert in S. Kensington 12 Apr 2013, 12:18pm

    The hospital has since re-considered and allowed him access to this partner. Amazing what bad publicity can do.

  20. Jock S. Trap 12 Apr 2013, 12:22pm

    This is his husband and that Should immediately take preference just as any married partner would.

    It’s clearly this is about the fact it is a marriage of two men, nothing more and the hospital Should have been more supportive of the couple.

    They cannot get away with treating married couples differently because of orientation and the hospital Should see any discrimination by family members as not in the patients interests.

    Time for these people to wise up and stop right now thinking they have the right to determine what kind of marriage people have. They are equal for a reason.

  21. “we believe involving the family is an important part of the patient care process” … in other words blood means more to them then love.

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