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Comment: Coming out – Is it always something to celebrate?

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  1. Dave North 21 Feb 2013, 4:47pm

    Personally I think it is the best thing I ever did.

    At last I was free to be myself and not skulk around in the shadows petrified of being “found out”.

    Luckily, to date, I have had no incidences of rejection.

    I suppose I would be classed as being “straight acting”, whatever the hell that is meant to mean.

    It would be interesting if we compiled a list of what it is forum readers do for a living, maybe eradicating the old clichéd stereotypes.

    Personally, I’m employed as a Systems Architect.

    1. Spanner1960 23 Feb 2013, 5:58pm

      I think you might find stereotypes are based on truth.
      Just be prepared to be deluged with hair stylists, interior designers, cabin crew, dancers and theatre luvvies. ;)

  2. Devils Advocate 21 Feb 2013, 5:12pm

    I can see the point, but it almost sounds like you’re suggesting it would be better for them to continue living the lie… I can’t agree on that :P

  3. I’m a Medical Case Manager. I came “Out” in 1981. I was 21 years old. I did experience some issues with the occasional Homophobe but mostly I found that it was not a problem.

  4. Paul J Burgess 21 Feb 2013, 5:31pm

    This isn’t about the average guy coming out, it’s about those we choose to put on pedestals, and whether they are always the right choice. :)

    1. I came-out during the Thatcher regime at 16 when the LGBT community were marching over Clause 28. That some come out later in life is understandable. They have their reasons.

      Celebrities have found it easier in recent years to announce their sexuality and it is this recent trend of openness in celebrity culture that the LGBT community welcomes. For sportsmen and women, particularly, it has always been difficult to be open. Homophobia thrives in sport so the sportspeople who have been brave enough to come out, deserve to have ‘role model’ status. However, I feel that they only deserve the role-model status if they are still active in their sport. Sports celebrities coming out once retiring or after retirement aren’t setting the example that young people or their sports need, even if they deserve to be congratulated.

      I agree with what you’ve said in your article Paul. There are many less well-known LGBT people in our society that particularly deserve role-model status.

  5. I think we’re witnessing more celebs coming out earlier in their careers and the media response is becoming more positive towards them too. The media attention focused on Gareth Thomas is because he’s one of woefully few sportsmen to come out. He has his own coming out story as valid as anyone else’s. People come out at various stages of life dependent on their personalities and strength of support networks. It’s important we all share our stories as they might resonate with others and help them break free of the closet too. Gareth Thomas is doing just that by talking about his experience in schools and challenging homophobia.

  6. Paul Essex/London 22 Feb 2013, 12:35pm

    I think there’s a dichotomy raised by this issue.

    On the one hand I agree that there are many who are braver and show more integrity in being truthful about themselves, and having to deal with the abuse and segregation that that can involve. Their lives shouldn’t be overshadowed by those who wait for decades before taking that leap.

    However, albeit this is not what this article is advocating, I don’t think that anyone who comes out, no matter how long it’s taken them, should be criticised for not doing so sooner. Everybody’s life is different and when confronted with realising that you are gay in a heteronormative society a world of issues raised that a straight person never has to deal with, testing moral fibre and courage usually at an age when we’re ill equipped to do so. Stories like Gareth Thomas’s highlight the pressure people come under to stay in the closet, in order to have the lives they want, the damage it causes and highlight the courage of those who came out sooner

    1. Spanner1960 23 Feb 2013, 5:54pm

      As soon as I see anybody using the term “heteronormative” I know they are talking bollocks.

      Society is inclusive, it is everybody.We are not gay people living in a straight persons world; it is OUR world as well.

  7. Spanner1960 23 Feb 2013, 5:50pm

    Another daft leftie with barmy opinions and a stupid haircut.

    Nobody can tell you your sexuality; it is entirely up to you to come to terms with it and decide how you want to approach it.
    Some people might want to mince about half naked on pride marches whilst others will just keep it to themselves.

    Just because somebody isn’t ‘out’ does not mean they are anti-gay, and it certainly doesn’t matter a jot to the so-called “community” that actually doesn’t even exist.

    I don’t think anybody consciously ‘celebrates’ coming out, it is more just recognising a significant event. It is no more important than celebrating a marriage or a exam pass, or even someone’s funeral for that matter. It is just something of a marker in one’s life, for better or worse.

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