It’s a sad state of affairs when the queer community turns on its own, but it happens all too often. Mostly it’s because people have internalised all these negative messages we see every day about sexuality and gender stereotypes. Homophobia and particularly femmephobia is linked to misogyny because of the widely held conceptions that anything feminine = female = weak and inferior to men and masculinity. And gay men are still men. We are just as capable of misogyny as straight men. I know that there are negative stereotypes about overemotional limp-wristed fashionistas or whatever, but find a way to condemn them without making guys who are less macho and not “straight-acting” feel like shit for just being who they are.
Or why not, and here’s a thought, just try to get beyond condemning ANYBODY, and just let everyone be who they want to be in peace? What, precisely, is wrong with being an “overemotional, limp-wristed fashionista” as you put it, if that’s genuinely how you are happiest being?
The trick is to get above ALL that stuff, period.
Why would anyone need to “find a way to condemn” “overemotional limp-wristed fashionistas or whatever”???????
Many gay men are not ‘straight-acting’ macho, muscle-men but are instead what is described as ‘effeminate’ (though I don’t think labels are necessary). It’s time we all ‘get over it’ and accept that fact and more importantly, accept them as being part of us, i.e. the gay community – we’re all gay but at the same time we’re all different. The last thing we should want to do is be as discriminatory as homophobic bigots against our own. Let’s stick together whilst accepting our differences.
I agree, though! What I meant was that other people see gay people as a stereotype, and use that stereotype to laugh at and bully us. What I was saying was that we need to educate people to get rid of the stereotypes, not that I was condemning gay people who act like that. Sorry if my wording was confusing, of course there’s nothing wrong with being whatever you are.
No need for an apology, Kale. It was me who obviously misinterpreted what you meant.
Welcome to the real world mate, just cause you’re a celeb it doesn’t make you immune to what the rest of the LGBT civilians face on a daily basis- unfortunately.
If you read the whole interview, he comes across as a sensitive lad who’s not entirely at ease with his sexuality. So these attacks probably hurt him a lot.
Still, he’s a decent actor, good looking man and has a magnificent bum and sensational eyes, so I hope he grows a thicker skin to deal with the idiots and find the peace to accept he is who he is.
He does seem like a nice guy, he also said his family back ground made it a little harder to come out (in a recent interview) and still dealing with different experiences and emotions.
From a celebrity stand point, although it’ the nature of the beast, people totally disregard their right to privacy! Just being a familiar face doesn’t give people the license to confront or attack him with remarks anymore than they would a stranger.
Extremely unfortunate for PJ’s personal journey, is the fact that Stedan fans of Hollyoaks have a major hate on for his character at this time. Having seen some of the remarks made against him on line, and as he stated some are even attacking him in person by his “character name”
As civilians, we can be thankful for our anonymity unlike celebrities. Never the less, they are still feeling people! Which doesn’t make them any less deserving of respect, or give people liberty to confront or abusive them. In person or because of a character they portray.
Doug, I’d do you, that’s homo but not phobic :-)
I belief this. My late partner and I got discriminated against often whilst out on the gay scene because we were Black/White and in a relationship for 20 years.
Mostly it was racism but sometimes homophobic.
I come to realise very quickly that it tends to come from people so insecure with themselves they’d rather focus on other people than sort out their own problems.
Sorry did mean I believe this!
“I come to realise very quickly that it tends to come from people so insecure with themselves they’d rather focus on other people than sort out their own problems.”
So true, Jock. That’s true of all bullies whatever their age, race, sexuality, etc. Bullies aren’t strong, they’re weak and insecure.
I hope PJ Brennan doesn’t let the bullying get to him.
Here, here to that Iris!
No one ever asks WHY certain people are homophopbic. If they did, I think they would be astonished at the answer. People are homophobic because they ‘self hate’. Recent research in the US and Netherlands has found conclusive evidence that those who confess to having made homophobic remarks have experienced strong same-sex attractions and have fought against them. “Show me a homophobe; I’ll show you a closet case”. We need to keep asking, “WHY are you homophobic?”
Lol, ‘gay haircut’ — what exactly is that??
As a huge Hollyoaks fan, I always prefered Stug to Stendan! Love Doug!
And he shouldn’t feel bad about bekng a late bloomer, people come out at all sorts of ages, in their 40s and 50s for instance.
Good god, sorry about all those typos -__-
The only reason I’d rag on another gay guy is becasue he’s a typical stereotype; he wants sex, he has sex all the time, everything is about sex, he only wants to have sex with you… There are many issues within the gay community that we refuse to adknowledge (Pride Parades are nothing more than glorified orgies for example). All this is very damaging for those with morals, or in this case, finding their way in a new and strange place.
I wish to God I’d gone to all the Gay Pride Parades you did. Inevitably, I ended up with sore feet and – if I was lucky – a cup of tea and a biscuit at the end of the ones I went to.
I’d love to have been invited to an orgy after a gay pride event. At least I’d have ben able to have a bit of a lie-down.
That said, I agree with you. Hollyoaks is a very strange place in which to find yourself. For such a small village, its murder rate is something like 14 times the national average.
Also, there are lots of good-looking young men who keep on getting naked. I grew up in a village in Cheshire and none of that stuff ever happened there.
What can one say, except from it’s sad.
But some people feel awful themselves, and making other people feel awful make them feel a little better for some sick reason.