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Comment: The biggest challenge LGBT face is other people’s language

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  1. Well said.

    Indeed, only this week I and my partner were leaving my home and walking over to the car on my way to work, and some “yoof” passed by on a bicycle and shouted, “dirty poofs”.

    I pondered this throughout the day, and got angrier and angrier to the point I called the police and reported the incident.

    The police were brilliant and visited said “yoof” and threatened him with arrest should any further incidents occur.

    However I am now wary of repercussions.

    1. If you know where he lives you should go round and tell him if he does it again you will kick his head in.

      If you aren’t the fighting type get a relative to do it.

      Always works for me.

      1. Unfortunately, for my work, I have very high security clearance.

        Doing something like this would lose me the clearance and my job.

        Rock and hard place come to mind.

      2. This sadly seems to be one of the few solutions – the softly softly approach doesn’t work.
        I remember my partner trying to reason with a ‘yoof’ neighbour over his abuse to be only ridiculed, I then intervened with a mouthful of expletives that can only be described ‘worse than a sailor’, the ‘yoof’ backed down like a dog and gave me respect the next 10 years I lived there & inturn he became an ally against other homophobic neighbours strangely

    2. I would have picked up the closest stone and thrown it at those who said any thing like that to me, I do know that not many homos are into fighting and this needs to change when bullies and bigots start ending up black en blue they will soon have second thoughts

  2. I’d hardly say ‘Four Poofs and a Piano’ are a good example. They appeared years ago on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross simply as a means for Jonathan to make a joke based on their sexual orientation:-

    http://newsarchive.awardspace.com/friday_night_with_jonathan_ross.html

    Thankfully the BBC agreed with me, by ditching the lot of them.

    1. However Thomas is right about the need to eliminate homophobic language such as “That’s so gay” etc There are courses for teachers to help them challenge homophobia in the classroom

      1. Unfortunately i used to know “thomas” and he regulary called me a gayboy…even though i am straight.

        1. I do t get why your giving me thumbs down. If you want to tackle this issue then gay poeple also need to be mindful of what they say, even if it is a joke.

          Dont get me wrong,not all gay peole make these comments,i know that but its been brought into the limelight by a bad example

  3. The question should be: WHY do people use homophobic langauge? Could it simply be that ‘projecting’ inner fears about same-sex attraction outwardly makes the homophobe feel better about their ‘issues’? Someone who is secure in their sexuality is never homophobic. I’ve always believed. “Show me a homophobe; I’ll show you a closet case”. Get that message out there loud and clear and homophobic abuse would soon end.

    1. But some of these usages – “that’s so gay [= crap]” being the most obvious – are used dismissively but thoughtlessly, in that being gay is just seen as something generally undesirable or contemptible: it’s not always said with a homophobic intention (though it is clearly homophobic).

      I don’t know if I’m making myself clear – I just mean it’s often no more thought-out than calling someone a ‘moron’ (not all that long ago a medical category) or a ‘peasant’: the people who used such terms to signal contempt weren’t necessarily eugenicists or elitist. And those people who’d call out “nigger” aren’t usually hiding a hankering to be darker-skinned themselves, I can assure you.

      1. I don’t know why you would seek to defend the indefensible. The MAIN reason ANYONE will ‘project’ a negative emotion in this way is to convince others – but more importantly themselves … that “there’s nothing gay about ME!!!!” These people FULLY understand the negative connotation. “If I call him (or it) ‘gay’ no-one will ever suspect I have experienced same-sex attraction”. Recent extensive research in the USA and Holland has found conclusively that homophobic abuse – however innocent it may be – is perpetrated by those who have experienced same-sex attraction and who have rejected it in a forthright manner. This manifests itself by trying to ‘push’ the emotion onto others. It is fatuous in the extreme to try to link this with the use of the word ‘moron’ or ‘n*gger’

        1. I’m not ‘seeking to defend’ anything. I’m just saying that some mouthy 14yo using ‘gay’ as a derogatory word isn’t necessarily trying to hide his or her homosexuality. If you can’t see that, well, too bad.

          1. I was only reflecting your own words :”I don’t know if I’m making myself clear …”. You were not. Anyone using homophobically abusive language is trying to ‘project’ an image of themselves in an attempt to align with ‘the majority’. To call someone or something ‘gay’ is to attempt to place themselves in the ‘not gay’ camp (pun intended). Do you not see that? If you can’t … you should have gone to Specsavers.

          2. As I’ve also said, if you think some mouthy 14yo using the word ‘gay’ is necessarily repressing his homosexuality, I’m afraid SpecSavers would be of no use to you, though a white stick might be useful.

            Do you think the 5 young women who beat up a gay couple on a NYC subway train were repressing their own same-sex urges too? For pity’s sake!

  4. Paul Essex/London 20 Feb 2013, 1:02pm

    Pink News, the hyperlink to the petition in the article is faulty. Please rectify this.

    The link’s here:
    http://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/oxford-dictionary-remove-the-adjective-definition-of-gay-meaning-foolish-stupid-or-unimpressive

  5. We should outlaw the word/term – homosexual.

    All the rest are small-fry compared to this horrible word/term. Always used by bigots, homophobes, religious leaders anti-equality and so on.

    I hate it, I really do.

    As for the calling our own clubs/bars ‘queer’ ‘g-a-y-’ and so on, I don’t see this as a problem.

    Much as I respect Thomas and wish him well in his endverours, be careful with the dangers of throwing out our own proud queer history.

    I’m out, proud and queer.

    Thank you.

  6. would help if the link to the petion worked :(

    1. It wouldn’t. The OED don’t remove definitions. They may mark them as archaic or offensive, but they see the purpose of a dictionary is to allow you to find out what a word means in the context it is used, not to bowdlerise language.

      1. Or, as the OED would have it, bowdlerize.

    2. I agree with Pedge. This petition is misguided. The OED doesn’t remove words which are in common use. It’s a dictionary, not a style manual.

      But Mr Wales is right about the principle. Language matters – a lot – and the OED has a serious problem with homophobic language. It treats racist language very differently, and much more carefully. The OED is badly out of date on this and it needs attention asap.

      Consider the following discussion of the n-word from the full OED. “This term is strongly racially offensive when used by a white person in reference to a black person… Recently the term has been reclaimed by some black speakers… However, even among black speakers, use of the word is problematic because of its potential to give offence.”

      But the playground usage of gay is just marked “sometimes considered offensive”. This is absurd. It’s offensive, and should be marked as such. Even worse, f****t used as a term for “homosexual” currently has no warning at except “slang”.

      1. Thomas Wales 20 Feb 2013, 7:13pm

        I understand we wouldn’t remove it but we can compromise ;)

        1. Haha your so funny 20 Feb 2013, 8:17pm

          I do not agree with you comment thomas

  7. I think social media sites like Twitter and Facebook should do more. Perhaps any homophobic words like “faggot” should be replaced by something positive or unrelated like “beautiful person” or “banana”, you know, something to dilute the hate. So phrases would be like “you’re such a *beautiful person*” and “you’re a banana”. ;-)

  8. I personally have never liked or used the term gay for my self , what is wrong with being what we are = homos why do we need a new word , a word that while it means happy also means clown = I do not see myself as a clown . All homosexuals should be happy to use the term homo .

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