When I saw the headline, I can’t deny immediately assuming a bunch of things about this fellow as soon as I saw the term “porn star”, and not many of them positive. It’s time we threw off this Victorian prudery about sex and porn and bodies and what can be done with them and who can observe it. In a world of shootings, explosions, genocides and starvation, surely we can accept that joy can also be experienced and need not be hidden from public view for the sake of some “moralistic code” (which, if reduced to a visual, would look like Swiss cheese!). For the religious, killing is addressed in the Big 10, but physical pleasure is not. Time to re-examine this whole notion, especially since we live in a subculture that tends to show sexual imagery quite readily in any venue. Privacy is one thing, but forced privacy because of shame is another.
Isn’t that a problem for many gay men who suffer the problems they do because of the absence of love, acceptance and the shame many of us are forced to endure in our formative years?
The consequences of which can be seen in many gay establishments on a Saturday night full of guys looking for love in all the wrong places and not knowing how to connect without the aid of a synthetic compound, as Matthew Todd lamented in last Saturday’s Guardian:-
Note how Todd, who has written in depth on issues surrounding gay shame, points a tacit finger at THT for enabling a culture that provides fertile breeding grounds and environments in which gay men can self-destruct and party to oblivion.
At least try to show a modicum of compassion, Spanner, and less of the “there but for the grace of god” attitude wouldn’t go amiss, either.
How much is Todd paying you Samuel to hawk his story in the Guardian? Judging by the readers comments Todd should stick to his rag mag Attitude, which only serves to re-inforce the stereotypical unattainable “perfect gay lifestyle” & perpetuates poor self-esteem
Who asked you W6, aka “…westie…” and no doubt several other aliases you adopt in a vain effort to engineer consensus on PN forums?
Are you just here to stick the boot in as usual?
Kindly stick to your narrow area of expertise and allow renowned gay scholars such as Attitude’s Matthew Todd – who boasts a loyal following and a circulation in the tens of thousands – write with honesty about issues of import to our fellow gay brethren.
I don’t have to be asked to make comments here, this is an open forum – “renowned gay scholars”?????? I think you have been at the pink gin this afternoon. You are such an easy target to “stick the boot into” Samuel!
As always we see you indulging yourself in the usual conspiracy theories………….who is to say you do not have multiple aliases, at least I can be identified by my avi!
Have you not got any ladies slacks & jumpers to go & fold?
W6, you are a loan wolf in the wilderness on these boards, here to shill and troll for the corrupted HIV sector and affiliated pharmas.
You have a supreme righteousness and arrogance in maintaining a stand that every other commentator to PN HIV debates pulls apart with ease.
No one is listening to your shrill diversory tactics that seek to sell us the idea of testing and treatment-led “prevention” methods when the rest of us see through this mass deception and are demanding the return of proper HIV prevention campaigns.
While I fold up my frocks, shouldn’t your backers be thinking about putting you out to pasture as your presence here only highlights the neglect and indifference that runs rampant in your sector today.
With your double standard hypocrisy with regard to the utilisation of shock and awe as a deterrent factor in testing – but not preventive – campaigns, you are a fine ambassador for all that is wrong with the HIV sector today.
I think you’ll find that, far from being ‘humongous’, the amounts of money earned by most porn stars doesn’t stand comparison with that of many more conventional means and, in addition, provides a living for only a very limited period.
What a terrible shock. Arpad was a gorgeous man and I must confess to having had quite a few Barclay’s to this talented performer :)
We’re probably not going to know the ins and outs (no pun intended) of his untimely passing. Whatever the reason, he obviously felt he was better off out of the world than remain in it. Very sad indeed.
Why must some commenters be so horrible about this poor guys death? He was a human being who was obviously so terribly depressed he took his own life. I know how that feels believe me. So if you can’t say anything decent..do us a favour and shut up.
Some people seem to think being witty is obligatory if you’re gay (a tiresome misconception), but seem curiously incapable of recognising where or when it’s appropriate or, indeed, what a witticism is in the first place.
I live in NYC and had seen him several times in a shopping district in midtown merely by chance. He was very fit and handsome. A few weeks ago, I saw him shopping for groceries in a 99 cent store. He didn’t look unhappy but perhaps that’s all he could afford. It’s very sad that he’s gone.
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What a terrible shame. Such a gorgeous guy. RIP Arpad.
When I saw the headline, I can’t deny immediately assuming a bunch of things about this fellow as soon as I saw the term “porn star”, and not many of them positive. It’s time we threw off this Victorian prudery about sex and porn and bodies and what can be done with them and who can observe it. In a world of shootings, explosions, genocides and starvation, surely we can accept that joy can also be experienced and need not be hidden from public view for the sake of some “moralistic code” (which, if reduced to a visual, would look like Swiss cheese!). For the religious, killing is addressed in the Big 10, but physical pleasure is not. Time to re-examine this whole notion, especially since we live in a subculture that tends to show sexual imagery quite readily in any venue. Privacy is one thing, but forced privacy because of shame is another.
“he was a very active person in the gay community”… We know, we’ve seen the movies.
“He was a great guy on top..”
Apparently so.
I love the taste of pillow in the morning, etc etc.
Apparently he died doing what he did best.
The undertakers are still trying to figure out how to get the lid on the coffin…
Arpad’s performances provided so many spontaneous spurts of pleasure for many.
Rest in piece Arpad.
Sadly, yet another stunning and prolific porn actor is taken from us within a few months of one another, lest we forget Erik Rhodes, Josh Weston.
Is this just coincidence or symptomatic of a deep-rooted problem affecting such performers that is not being addressed by their industry?
Isn’t that a problem for many gay men who suffer the problems they do because of the absence of love, acceptance and the shame many of us are forced to endure in our formative years?
The consequences of which can be seen in many gay establishments on a Saturday night full of guys looking for love in all the wrong places and not knowing how to connect without the aid of a synthetic compound, as Matthew Todd lamented in last Saturday’s Guardian:-
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/feb/02/gay-shame-terrence-higgins-trust
Note how Todd, who has written in depth on issues surrounding gay shame, points a tacit finger at THT for enabling a culture that provides fertile breeding grounds and environments in which gay men can self-destruct and party to oblivion.
At least try to show a modicum of compassion, Spanner, and less of the “there but for the grace of god” attitude wouldn’t go amiss, either.
How much is Todd paying you Samuel to hawk his story in the Guardian? Judging by the readers comments Todd should stick to his rag mag Attitude, which only serves to re-inforce the stereotypical unattainable “perfect gay lifestyle” & perpetuates poor self-esteem
Who asked you W6, aka “…westie…” and no doubt several other aliases you adopt in a vain effort to engineer consensus on PN forums?
Are you just here to stick the boot in as usual?
Kindly stick to your narrow area of expertise and allow renowned gay scholars such as Attitude’s Matthew Todd – who boasts a loyal following and a circulation in the tens of thousands – write with honesty about issues of import to our fellow gay brethren.
I don’t have to be asked to make comments here, this is an open forum – “renowned gay scholars”?????? I think you have been at the pink gin this afternoon. You are such an easy target to “stick the boot into” Samuel!
As always we see you indulging yourself in the usual conspiracy theories………….who is to say you do not have multiple aliases, at least I can be identified by my avi!
Have you not got any ladies slacks & jumpers to go & fold?
W6, you are a loan wolf in the wilderness on these boards, here to shill and troll for the corrupted HIV sector and affiliated pharmas.
You have a supreme righteousness and arrogance in maintaining a stand that every other commentator to PN HIV debates pulls apart with ease.
No one is listening to your shrill diversory tactics that seek to sell us the idea of testing and treatment-led “prevention” methods when the rest of us see through this mass deception and are demanding the return of proper HIV prevention campaigns.
While I fold up my frocks, shouldn’t your backers be thinking about putting you out to pasture as your presence here only highlights the neglect and indifference that runs rampant in your sector today.
With your double standard hypocrisy with regard to the utilisation of shock and awe as a deterrent factor in testing – but not preventive – campaigns, you are a fine ambassador for all that is wrong with the HIV sector today.
Very much off topic as usual………………but interesting to see yo backing magazines that are part of the problem, total hypocrisy!
I think you’ll find that, far from being ‘humongous’, the amounts of money earned by most porn stars doesn’t stand comparison with that of many more conventional means and, in addition, provides a living for only a very limited period.
What a terrible shock. Arpad was a gorgeous man and I must confess to having had quite a few Barclay’s to this talented performer :)
We’re probably not going to know the ins and outs (no pun intended) of his untimely passing. Whatever the reason, he obviously felt he was better off out of the world than remain in it. Very sad indeed.
R.I.P. x
Why must some commenters be so horrible about this poor guys death? He was a human being who was obviously so terribly depressed he took his own life. I know how that feels believe me. So if you can’t say anything decent..do us a favour and shut up.
Some people seem to think being witty is obligatory if you’re gay (a tiresome misconception), but seem curiously incapable of recognising where or when it’s appropriate or, indeed, what a witticism is in the first place.
One of the sexiest men in gay porn, IMO. Damn shame he couldn’t work out his issues and thought it was better to opt out.
RIP.
I live in NYC and had seen him several times in a shopping district in midtown merely by chance. He was very fit and handsome. A few weeks ago, I saw him shopping for groceries in a 99 cent store. He didn’t look unhappy but perhaps that’s all he could afford. It’s very sad that he’s gone.