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US: Handcuffed Catholic priest was suffering from ‘stress-related self-bondage’ says bishop

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    1. lol indeed :)

    2. I wonder what else will they come up with. Ludicrous!

    3. Capital LOL.

      I’d write more but am a bit tied up at the moment.

    4. Yes it would be quite a laugh it was not so damaging to their victims. all these lies and deceptions. here is a view of just how harmful and disgusting it gets.http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/story/2009/10/01/ns-lahey-charged-sydney.html

  1. PantoHorse 23 Jan 2013, 4:26pm

    Yeah, I always hand cuff myself to something when I’m stressed. I had no idea it was so common!

  2. I’ve heard that stress can manifest in some interesting ways but …

  3. Without a doubt the best laugh I’ve had this year. :)

  4. I should think that being handcuffed to a bed with no means of escape is quite stressful.

  5. Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great.
    If a sperm is wasted, god gets quite irate!

  6. Funny of course, but dismaying to think that people like this are still able to exert influence and control over some of our politicians. What will generations to come make of this nonsense?

  7. I suppose that’s one way of keeping his hands off kids….

    1. Brilliant!!!!

  8. Robert in S. Kensington 23 Jan 2013, 5:10pm

    Oh, and I bet the clinical therapist is church appointed and ordered to come up with this claptrap of an excuse. So transparent but oh so laughable.

  9. Robert in S. Kensington 23 Jan 2013, 5:12pm

    What’s the betting some young thing will come out of the woodwork blowing this ridiculous story out of the water. Or could it be he was paid off to shut him up?

    1. “blowing” something… !

      Sorry, this story is so absurd that it brings out my inner 12 year old.

    2. I wonder if he was wearing one of those ‘celice’ Opus Dei thigh girdles at the same time!! I am sorry my luvvies but trotting out this sort of excuse may have worked in the 1950s to a gullable crowd of frightened parishioners – it does not work now.

  10. This excuse is comedy gold! Remember the other priest who accidentally showed some Gay porn to the PTA then ran from the room? Excuse: “How did that get on there?”
    DRINK! F€CK! GIRLS!

    1. DRINK! FECK! BOYS! … surely?

  11. Bill Cameron 23 Jan 2013, 5:56pm

    A very inventive .. er .. explanation.

  12. Karl smith 23 Jan 2013, 6:15pm

    Have they retrieved the truncheon yet ?

  13. Well, obvoiously we all believe this explanation without question!

    NOT!

  14. Well that’s a verbal conjugation I never thought I’d hear!
    I handcuff you ’cause I like to restrain you
    You get handcuffed when you’re bad
    The priest handcuffs himself when he gets stressed!
    Amazing how the catholic cult hierarchy can twist more times than a corkscrew in order to try and delude people.
    I could just about buy the handcuff “self -humiliation”dreck ; lord knows the catholic cult is a past master at getting people to feel bad about themselves……. but with a gag as well ?? Oh puleeeese!

    P.s. bet there was a butt plug involved

  15. The correct answer would have been: “One of our priests has normal, healthy, sexual urges, which in this case include BDSM”.

    But it’s not like the Catholic church to tell the truth, or be honest about even the most obvious fundamentals of humanity.

  16. Keith Francis Farrell 23 Jan 2013, 9:09pm

    souds too much like they have put him in hiding, comeon what are you guys trying to hide, was he molesting children

  17. Edmund Rodgers 23 Jan 2013, 9:19pm

    HaHa so like Little Britain’s character Sir Norman Fry, a Conservative MP, who on the surface appears respectable but who is repeatedly making statements to the press about encounters with other men! Non-sexual my arse! why did he have a ball gag in his mouth?

  18. The hypocrisy of these fücktards really knows no bounds and is absolutely typical of the catholic church. Whenever one of their own employees gets caught doing something naughty they protect their own with (in this case totally hilarious) excuses yet absolutely condemn gay people as ‘sexual deviants’.

    Can’t wait for the next episode about the pope loving to be whipped in a gimp mask whilst saying his hail-marys!

    1. The funniest thing is, the deluded fools still think the masses believe their crappy excuses, half-apologies, and the what-not. They genuinely believe the church has any significance to the general population.

  19. Ah yes, when my partner gets stressed she loves to be tied up. However, I don’t think the “it’s not sexual” excuse will rally wash…

  20. The gloating and sick comments on here show Rome-o-phobia at work once again from the homosexual lobby. “Catholic baiting is the anti-Semitism of the liberals.” Boy George beats up a male prostitute, handcuffs him to a radiator , does time and the so-called ‘PRIDE’ rally has him on a float as a hero and role model for the so-called LGBT ‘community’ .

    Wonder how many LOL’s and :) were present when this poor mixed-up chap died ? :
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Gareth_Williams

    hypocrites

    1. oh, ray, seriously, just go do some self-flagellation – it feels so gooooood

      mea culpa, culpa mea, mea culpa

      then put your dress back on and go hold mass or something

    2. Karl smith 24 Jan 2013, 8:39am

      Ray surely even you can see the funny side of this story ? No one got hurt , just a story about a man of the cloth locking himself in hand cuffs apparently to relieve his stress – it’s priceless !

    3. You call it ‘Rome-o-phobia’ (a great expression, btw), but as usual your understanding is warped by your martyr-complex. Our amusement is not at the acts this priest indulged in as such, but the fact that the explanation of them is so implausible (reminiscent of explanations offered in casualty of how a penis got stuck in a vacuum cleaner), and, as a Catholic priest we would assume he’d have firm views opposing such practices.

      We’re entertained at yet another example of Rome’s hypocrisy – practising itself what it preaches against and forbids in others. Admittedly, I don’t know the exact passage of the Bible that forbids ‘self handcuffing while wearing a gag’, but I’m sure you’ll soon tell us whenever a gay man is discovered committing such a sin.

    4. Whereas antisemitism is a powerful legacy of the Roman Catholic Church.
      The point is that we don’t give a stuff about these antics – except when practised by members of still-powerful institutions claiming the moral authority to condemn and prescribe other people’s consenting sexual activities.

    5. ‘Gloating and sick‘? Get a grip, you absurd creature. The most ridiculous excuses are trotted out over this harmless incident and you really think it’s not funny?

      What is sick is comparing it to the as-yet-unexplained death of a secret service man. I fear you’re allowing your Romeophilia to render you somewhat less than balanced.

  21. Jeremy Hoad 24 Jan 2013, 12:48am

    ‎”Stress-related self-bondage”? That will fit nicely with the “Religion-related self-delusion.”

  22. Adele Magee 24 Jan 2013, 1:45am

    Why didn’t he just pretend he’d been burgled and they tied and gagged him while they nicked his DVD player and porn collection?

  23. Oh yes, Bishop….. I do ‘believe’ you! Of course there was ‘no one’ involved! *wink*. Self-bondage is so much fun, especially when you have to call the police tight (no pun intended) situation!

  24. Christopher in Canada 24 Jan 2013, 5:16am

    Cue Tom Hanks and Dan Brown.

  25. Ed Stevens 24 Jan 2013, 9:16am

    No doubt they will send this guy off to St Luke’s in Washington a centre where they lump together child abusers, drunks, gays in suspected sexual relationships, gamblers etc. There is one in Manchester too. They believe in breaking the man down before building him up. He will be under constant supervision for the rest of his life. Better if he walks away from this bunch of crack pots.

  26. Another one to add to the comedy excuses list which includes such gems as “those choirboys can be such sexual predators”, “I was documenting how much weight I’d dropped by publishing photos of my naked ass on Grindr”, “He was just lifting my luggage”, “I was adopting that wide stance to pick the toilet paper up off the floor when the police busted in me in the airport restroom cubicle”

  27. I wonder if Lewis Caroll modeled the White Queen in Through The Looking Glass on a prelate like this one? After all, she was capable of believing as many as six impossible things before breakfast – or at least seeming to!

    1. I thought it was Alice who did that…?

  28. You’ve got to wonder at the Vatican’s PR dept. Why do they open themselves to such inevitable ridicule?

    Is it blind arrogance?

  29. Yeah right!
    See any green. *pulls lower eyelid down*

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