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UK: Mother tells employment tribunal of her depression after her husband came out as gay

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  1. These Eastern Europeans will try anything to make money, she should have been sacked.

    1. Ginger Beer 5 Jan 2013, 12:31pm

      Wow, that’s a vile thing to say. And geography isn’t your strong point is it dear? She’s from Latvia, which last time I looked was in NORTHERN Europe.

    2. A woman is used as abeard by a gay man and this has a negative effect on her mental health. Rather than show any compassion, you make a racist comment. Nice.

    3. Apart from your racist accusation, that is an incredibly cruel and malicious thing to say. In life we will all have difficult and painful experiences, during these times we should try to help one another not kick others while they are down. You should be ashamed of yourself.

  2. Keith Francis Farrell 5 Jan 2013, 2:13pm

    This is a big problem in countries where gay people have no rights (or could be murdered for being out. Equal rights stop this sort of thing happening. Gay people will not become straight just because they marry a woman and have children. I also find that this woman must have been very nieve or stupid not to have been able to see that the man she has the hots for, spent a lot of time looking at guys. I have a friend who is in one of these marriages so far for some 18 years, one day there is going to be an explosion. I can only blame them both, they foolishly went into this knowing that there will never be a real love for eith of them. It isalso too easy the blame the LGBT person. as for depression. There was a good line in the movie “Torch Song Trilogy” those who dont know what I am alking about, please get the movie, it is near the beginning

  3. I hope the CSA catch up with the father and make him pay up. Why should I have to support his kids.

    1. Nowhere in the article does it say that the father isn’t helping to support the children – the case is about the mother’s employer.

  4. Timo Fjordson 5 Jan 2013, 2:44pm

    I agree with the rest, we are all human and i do not think that Olga Gofmane thought of her life going this way when she was a young girl, who are WE to judge someone?, in my mind, if you can not give repect, you do not deserve it.

  5. Robert in S. Kensington 5 Jan 2013, 3:22pm

    The ex-gay ministries promote the absurd notion that a gay man or woman can pray away the gay through aversion therapy and marry someone of the opposite sex. Yet another example of living proof that it doesn’t work. Sooner or later, someone gets hurt, in this case, the wife. Sad.

    1. Indeed. Honestly? I’d love to see those ex-gay snake-oil sellers wired to a lie detector and asked if they would REALLY be contented if their own son or daughter married someone “ex-gay” because I suspect they know that they are peddling nonsense.

      And I agree – no one could ever want life to work out this way. Some of us always know, some struggle (due to social pressures, for which society gets the blame) but some really come to a later realisation. It’s a shame that she got hurt, I feel genuine sympathy for her, and I think that there is a wrongful emphasis on the real story here to even try to define WHY she is depressed.

      1. Robert in S. Kensington 5 Jan 2013, 4:53pm

        Agree with that. Everyone gets hurt including the husband in a way arguably through no fault of his own. Very sad. That’s why I strongly believe in equal marriage. It’s going to make it a lot better for those struggling with their orientation and better for society as a whole, knowing that we are treated equally and fairly, a trickle down effect that can only be a positive thing for everyone and good for one’s mental health and stability.

  6. This is an unfortunate situation for all involved. I really don’t think the woman’s husband meant to make her feel this way and shouldn’t be blamed for it, but neither should the woman be blamed for becoming depressed. I just don’t think it can be helped. For all we know it could have been building up for a long time and her husband coming out just pushed her over the edge. As someone who suffers from depression it took a lot of things getting on top of me before I even started to show the severe symptoms of depression. As for Holland and Barrett, well they are disgraceful and should be ashamed of the way they have treated her. Too many people, especially employers, ignore depression as a casual and insignificant thing when it is a major illness with devastating effects on one’s ability to function properly in everyday life. I hope they get sued or disciplined for this.

    1. ‘…I really don’t think the woman’s husband meant to make her feel this way and shouldn’t be blamed for…’

      Yea right, bringing his new boyfriend to martial house supposed to be very comforting for her.

  7. That’s why closet is so wrong.

  8. Divorce is one of the most life changing and difficult thing to endure, and even harder when childen are involved. This is a winding and hilly road to navigate through. My thoughs go out to this this family, and I hope they can come together in a healthy agreement that benefits everyone involves, expecially for the children.

  9. Dan Filson 5 Jan 2013, 4:10pm

    Perhaps we should hold judging in this case until the employer’s side is reported. The alleged unfair dismissal is over the recovery of sick pay – quite hgh the employer did so is as yet unstated, but it may be because employer sick pay is not paid if the state is paying.

  10. GingerlyColors 5 Jan 2013, 4:28pm

    Would the man be considered bisexual rather than gay if he entered into a marriage with a woman? Surely a genuinely gay man would have difficulty having sex with a woman. Bisexual people are caught between the two sexes and while some may have a preference for women, others may prefer men. You may wish to refer to the Kinsey Scale of sexuality for more info about this subject.

    1. Lots of Men who identify as Gay have had sexual relationships with women, myself included. I have never thought if myself as Bisexual as its not what I do sexually that defines me but whom I can Love. I can have sex with women, but I can Love a man.

      1. that is still techincally bisexual

        1. Technically, Bisexuality is romantic or sexual attraction or behavior toward males and females. Im not sure the technical definition applies as I was only having sex with women because I was too afraid to ‘come out’ and be true to myself, I was not romantically or sexually attracted to them. What does apply is my right to choose how I identify sexually with out you or anyone else telling me I am Bisexual!

  11. Seems a ‘tad’ insensitive bringing your new partner round to your former marital home – rubbing salt in the wound!

  12. Suddenly Last Bummer 5 Jan 2013, 5:22pm

    LOLZ. They come to the UK and the husband realises what he’s been suppressing all his life can be sated here. He musta been on Grindr and Gaydar 24/7.

    1. she is a victim of different social attitudes, both those in her native country which forced her husband to marry her and those in UK where her ex felt that he doesn’t have to pretend any longer

  13. He’s avictim too. Difficult situation. I wonder would she have got the money too if her husband had left her for a woman – or is her distress considered greater because it was a man.

  14. Carl Rowlands 5 Jan 2013, 7:39pm

    the age old saying ‘there are two sides to every story’ rings true here!

  15. Why are most of the comments being aimed at the ex husband ? The story is about the employer not paying her sick pay . People split up for all types of reasons and is sometimes devastating for one partner regardless of whether he/she left for a new straight or gay partner – this is not really a gay matter it’s about a broken down relationship leading to depression
    I do feel for the lady in question and hope she finds a new loving partner .At least her ex has given her the chance to find “Real” love with somebody else

  16. Can’t think why they moved here from Latvia.

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