Welsh Tory MPs are a rare breed. There’s a total of eight of them – one more than Snow White ever needed, four fewer than would have satisfied Jesus. But one of these sacred lovies has made rather more headlines than the other seven. The honourable member for Monmouth in south Wales, David Davies has created waves with his views on homosexual relationships. Davies has claimed same-sex marriage to be “barking mad” and that, apparently, “most parents would prefer their children not to be gay”. Which begs the retort: most parents would prefer their children not to be Tory MPs.

But in a Guardian interview published over the Christmas break (that time of good will to all men, er, beside those who fancy other men) Davies said that same-sex marriage could lead to the teaching of anal sex methods in schools. Bah humbug! Davies claims: “if children are going to be taught that [heterosexuality] isn’t necessarily the norm, and that you can carry on doing all sorts of other things, are we going to have a situation where the teacher’s saying, ‘Right, this is straight sex, this is gay sex, feel free to choose, it’s perfectly normal to want to do both. And you know, why not try both out?’”

Of course. I frequently thought, as a closeted teenager dealing with my emotional and sexual identity, that if only teachers had informed the six-pack baring, chisel-jawed jocks in P.E. that they could take it from behind, they would immediately begin doing so. Had the biology teacher so much as mentioned the basics of anal intercourse, the rugby team would have been piling in and requesting my assistance. Given just basic ‘gay’ sex education I would have been submitting plans to the PTA for the locker rooms to be converted into saunas. Like the ones you get in Vauxhall with the complimentary lube.

Well actually that isn’t true. You can’t be indoctrinated into a sexual practice or sexuality – even though some go to extreme and cruel extents to try and fulfill this fallacy. A fallacy David Davies’ comments are pushing; however bumbling he may wish to claim to be. When I was at school, all I knew was that I enjoyed acting, occasionally fashioned my shower towel like a dress… and got turned on by men. The choice was basically a binary between being a homosexual or a Catholic Priest.

Now the only one of those ever mentioned at school was the church, yet I ended up an atheist homosexual. Probably because the pubescent may be moody, but they are plenty capable of making their own decisions. Teaching young people about different sexual practices does not mean they will all-of-a-sudden become Oscar Wilde quoting, queer theory readers wandering school corridors like a lost cast of Priscilla Queen of the Desert. It means they are informed of the options, differences and risks that sexual maturity brings.

I recall my first propositioning. My male companion and I were at a house party, not far from Davies’ Monmouthshire constituency, when he asked if I am a “top or bottom?” I was fairly confused, but assumed this meant we were sharing bunk beds. He repeatedly asked the question, to which I repeatedly avoided answering for confusion. It was a whole year, and a number of searches on the home computer (which taught me of the need to delete ‘recently visited’) before I understood the very basics of so-called ‘gay sex’. (Heaven forbid if someone told David Davies some heteros do it like us, too.)

The fact I could complete the full length of compulsory education, yet have never been taught the principle shape of my future sexual experiences is nothing short of an outrage. I was not prepared for my first sexual encounter. I did not know how it worked, where things went, or crucially: what the dangers were.

It’s no surprise, when you consider the lack of education, that the rate of young gay and bisexual men being diagnosed with HIV is on a sharp incline. Health Protection Agency (HPA) statistics reveal 2011 saw the highest number of new diagnoses since records began, with 3,010 men’s lives changed irreconcilably – that’s a new diagnosis every three hours. Not to mention the estimated 25,000 who are unaware of their status.

David Cameron says more needs to be done to prevent the spread of HIV. But the tough truth is that our education system is letting young men who have sex with men down. Going into the world without the tools to understand your own sexuality and its potential risks is a situation that needs, like so many things, to be wrapped up. It may be awkward or ‘un-British’ to discuss the finer matters our private’s private encounters, but it can save lives.

David Davies believes schools teaching that some of his constituents have sex in a different way to him will end in some kind of heterosexual apocalypse. We’ll be having sex ed lessons taught by a resurrected Dale Winton and Carry On videos added to the national curriculum.

But, really, this is a matter of decency to young people. To provide them with the full facts of life, not just those an outdated sexual conservatism thinks are appropriate. So long as women can birth, schools should teach about contraception. So long as gays are having sex, schools should teach about anal sex. We are dangerously overdue a sex education revolution in this country.

Benjamin Butterworth writes for GT (Gay Times) magazine and is a member of LGBT Labour. He Tweets at @BenjaminButter