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US Radio host: Same-sex marriage laws might force a resurrected Jesus to marry a man

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  1. Idiot, or grifter pandering to idiots?

    Either way that is the biggest steamiest pile of utter preposterous BS that I’ve heard in a long time.

    But whatever drives the reasonable, rational or questioning away from the mental incontinence of religion is fine by me. The more the “devout” make themselves hopelessly unpalatable and horrifying to people, the quicker they hasten the demise of their nonsensical magical nonsense.

    1. Anyway it’s obvious if jesus came back he would just pick another 12 fishermen to hang around with.

    2. “Idiot, or grifter pandering to idiots? ”

      I’m guessing the former…

      1. I think that she is connected to an NPO, which is a license to print money if you blow your hater whistle loud enough. If she’s on the pay roll, then she has a vested interest in perpetuating a hatred model, and opposing federal change or social evolution.

        Honestly, Iris, don’t trust these god-botherers are far as you could toss one. In the US, follow the money.

    3. Calling this person an idiot insults idiots

  2. If only Mary had used contraception…

    1. Cardinal Capone 21 Dec 2012, 12:03am

      Doesn’t work with immaculate conceptions.

      1. Ive heard said Mary was actually Jesus’ wife, not mother. And seeing as how she was displayed as a whore in the bible, I dont see why she wouldnt have been his lover and wife. Either way… The bible is a load of CRAP

        1. nonchrisitan 21 Dec 2012, 9:44am

          Um, Jesus’ mother was called Mary, but he did associate with a prostitute named Mary Magdalene, a different person. It’s a bit rich to say something is crap if you haven’t actually read it.

  3. Shock horror, Jesus might marry a man! Feck me. Paranoia Alert.

    HELLO!!!!! In marriage, you can either say “I do” or “I do not” Jesus would have that choice too, the same choice exists for man-woman marriages!

    Dumbo, did you not know that?

    1. To be fair, he never voiced a single objection to homosexuality or gay marriage if I remember it right. Didn’t he spent all his time with 12 guys anyway?

      1. 12 guys and a prostitute…

    2. What the H—– is she talking about?!?! Lord~ have mercy on the ignorant who think they are spreading your word!

  4. IDIOT!! THE BIBLE ALSO STATES THAT THEY’LL BE NO MARRIAGE ONCE THE RESURRECTION HAS HAPPENED!!
    Gah, I’m gay and christian and these people piss me off at their lack of actual biblical knowledge!!

  5. He might come back and marry the “disciple whom Jesus loved” (Who identifies himself as the author of the Gospel of John)

    1. Amen, brother

    2. That’s the answer then, he is waiting until gay marriage is available before he comes back. This is the true test of humanity.

      I see a new sect starting tomorrow. The church of christs return for gay marriage.

  6. That There Other David 20 Dec 2012, 10:50pm

    When she says Jesus will marry “the church” does she mean a particular church, all the churches in the world, or all the members of all the churches?

    Sounds like the slippery slope to polygamy to me ;-)

  7. What does she mean ‘force’, if He came back He would in all probability marry his belvoved disciple John. Tut, tut, these conservative bigots don’t know their Bible!!

  8. So let me see if I’ve got this right. Marriage is between a man and a woman, no exceptions.

    Apart from when it’s between a magic zombie carpenter and a drafty building with pointy windows.

    Yup, makes sense to me…

    1. Though, actually, come to think of it, this particular piece of scriptural metaphor demonstrates undeniably that the word marriage does not have an irreducible heterosexual implication.

      After all, when you even admit the possibility that the term can be used metaphorically, between two things that don’t have genders, you admit that gender is not an essential component of its meaning. If it were then the metaphor would simply not work. Last time I checked, churches don’t have genders.

      So thanks for admitting that you agree with us on the gender-neutrality of the term “marriage” Mrs. Bigot.

  9. Best not too look too closely at the Bible. In Matthew, Mark and Luke if you note down all the specific details of the resurrection, whatever you do, don’t compare them – they don’t match.

    See Bart Erhman on Youtube and you’ll know why you can’t really trust anything you read in the Bible.

    Note that the word homosexuality didn’t appear in the Bible until 1946, and there are very many interpretations of the clobber passages – the ones I’ve seen clearly relate to pagan rituals, abuse of youths, and bisexuality and adultery in marriages. Nothing to do with loving same-sex relationships.

    As for Linda Harvey, she’s like Anita Bryant was. On the one hand I’m outraged she gets a voice, because she causes a lot of suffering the world, on the other hand I pity her for not having the intelligence to see how batty she comes across, and worry about the sanity of people who listen to her. Surely they can figure out she’s nuts – if not, why not?

    1. Do you think she is on LSD?

      1. No… she’s high on the, Holy Spirit!
        That poor excuse for a smile comes
        from looking into the face of Jesus
        all day long.

      2. I’ve no idea. I was sort of expecting to find out she’d been a heavy crack user for 30 years, found Jesus, and become a born-again Evangelical. Isn’t that how these freaks normally end up getting there?

        Whilst we on this subject, did you know that doctors have higher suicide rates than the general public (I bet you did), but did you know there’s a serious problem with alcoholism in priests / bishops (I didn’t, until about a year ago). Also Evangelicals have much higher divorce rates than the general population – but I guess when you’ve heard some of them speak / rant, who could really put up with that for life.

    2. Any day now one of her relatives will come out as gay.

    3. The interesting thing is that it condemns paganism and there is plenty of animal sacrifice instructions in Leviticus …

  10. Lieberdavid 20 Dec 2012, 11:27pm

    Jesus might marry a man? Well, considering that Jesus was probably gay himself, it makes a lot of sense.

    1. I think the odds are that he probably was gay…
      As stated before he hung around with twelve men…
      The only women in his life, were either related to
      him or Mary Magdalene, who was hardly a paragon
      of virtue…

  11. OMG! What a silly lady.

  12. Oh Come On Linda-THINK! considering the average life expectancy in that era; you’re talking about a late middle aged man that never married and preferred the company of other men (disciples? girlfriends more like!) who talks about his bf John .Get the cogs turning in that atrophied organ hidden under that tonsorial rats nest. God he might have been but GAY he was.

  13. I think Linda needs to go now and take her medication !

    This woman does nothing but talk utter nonsense and gets off with it.! she shouldn’t.

  14. Sounds like this woman needs to be taken off air asap, and locked up in a looney bin.

    1. I think perhaps that’s what they intend to do…
      But they haven’t built a facility secure enough
      to place her in…

      Truly, every time they find a place for her…
      she just wonders off…

  15. Linda Harvey is clearly barking mad.

  16. This nice looking lady doesn’t think I am human. Shocking.

  17. johnny33308 21 Dec 2012, 12:24am

    Last I heard no one was FORCED to marry anyone….hetero or LGBT, except in arranged marriages…so WTF is this KKKristian wh0re of Satan talking about anyway? She’s obviously not capable of real thinking…..

  18. “It certainly doesn’t work as sound Christian doctrine and it will be shown before long not to work as revolutionary secular law either.”

    Give it 15 years, she will deny she ever said those words.

  19. Christopher Ramirez 21 Dec 2012, 1:25am

    Has she ever heard of a thing called choice and free will? I thought that was something Jesus said. Well I guess Jesus lied about having a choice and if gay marriage is approve he HAS to marry a man. READ THE DAMN BIBLE AGAIN!!! Your taking the bits and pieces convenient to you.

    1. But Christopher, as a “good, devout christian” isn’t that what she’s supposed to do? *snark*!

  20. Alright. So if the body of the people of the church is supposed to marry the “Bridegroom” Jesus (who could be man or woman) Would either way be marrying men AND women. I see the body of the people of the church as everyone that goes. This is completely IDIOTIC! Shes offended for her jesus being gay? I am offended by her being such a closed minded bumbling MORON!!!!

    1. Marie Smith 21 Dec 2012, 6:22am

      Jesus was a man, he was a real person. God is a spirit, who could be man or woman :)

      1. Dave North 21 Dec 2012, 9:17am

        Prove it.

  21. I didn’t know there was a need to discuss such a 19th century point of view. I thought it was pretty much a done deal as junk religion and/or junk science. I didn’t know there was a need to discuss neanderthals and their preferences for the place they come form…you know, Duh-merica.

  22. I see somebody wound the faux-christian cuckoo clock again.

  23. That’s about the STUPIDEST article I’ve ever read! God made some people homosexual and we should just accept that. Get over your hate and fear, homophobes!

  24. Tuesday Wang 21 Dec 2012, 4:41am

    I think she needs to be committed.

    1. Why punish the insane?

      1. Clarification: Why punish the other people in the insane asylum?

  25. Marie Smith 21 Dec 2012, 6:16am

    Marriage has encouraged children to have premarital sex – should we just outlaw marriage in general?

  26. Marie Smith 21 Dec 2012, 6:26am

    Linda, put the kool-aid down and walk away.

  27. you are an idiot

  28. I thank God that I dumped all religion 50 years ago.

    Keith
    SALFORD

  29. This woman talks some twaddle.

  30. Carl Rowlands 21 Dec 2012, 9:38am

    I always thought that The Waltons was fictional!

  31. This article is really poorly written. The woman is quite clearly a loony but all the more reason to puzzle over why you have to stretch her comments out of context. She was pretty clear about discussing the metaphor of Christ as the bride groom, not something that would literally happen.

    It’s so unnecessary to twist the words of these people. They’re already low-hanging fruit.

  32. What? That host doesnt even make a lick of sense. I suppose that because I am married and the US president is also married that must mean I am the first lady? *shakes head* Christian radio,brainwashing an entire generation of noe-conservatives.

  33. Hold on everyone, I am on the phone to the men & women in white coats, they will be here shortly to take this loon away!

  34. Most of what she said didn’t even make sense.

    Was it really worth reporting?

  35. No it’s true, if marriage equality is introduced then when Jesus comes back to Ohio? he will be forced to marry another man just to fit in… because opposite sex marriages will simply have died out by then.
    I think when Jesus comes back he will polygamously marry the hottest guys in world, he will probably design a dozen or so of these really hot guys in advance so that they are in their prime and ready to marry when Jesus makes his big 2nd debut. They will have no trouble finding surrogate mothers for their offspring. (lol)

  36. Forget Jim Davidson, get her in th Big Brtoher house (depsite alsoo being homophobic) she’s a comedy gold mine.

    So what if Jesus DID marry/enter a civil partnership with another man, its not like he married or procreated the first time round. If he’s happy let him do it. I think his opinions and actions would out rank this intolerant’s, after all its not what you know but who you know.

  37. Where do they get this stuff from? It certainly adds to my theory that many devoutly religious people are beyond just delusional and actually mentally ill.

  38. Ricardo Duarte 21 Dec 2012, 10:55am

    Same sex marriage might force a resurrected Jesus to marry a man …? Then darling what are you waiting for, bring in same sex marriage and revoke bigotry.

  39. Keith Francis Farrell 21 Dec 2012, 11:08am

    I wonder where all these stupid christians who agree with her, will be sent to on judgement day. I would think that christ’s comandment to love ne another is going to be the judgement and as they have failed to do that, they will find a nice warm place for ever.

  40. Um… if Jesus married a man, that would definitively show that God is pro-gay. May be this dumb twat needs to revisit the concept of the Trinity.

  41. Is she still dribbling on? Sweetie Jesus would take one look at you and run into the arms of the first gay he sees.

  42. You can see why people are starting to see the light and express their honest atheism. Christians, muslims et al are an offensive bunch of sick, twisted individuals bent on maintaining control and subjugating pretty much everyone (women, gay people, other faiths) and all based on bronze aged writings mostly derived from previous pagan and multi-theistic works. Atheists not only appreciate science and truth but often as not each other. Live and let live.

  43. Whata Crock 21 Dec 2012, 1:04pm

    Pandering to idiots. Their Bible is quite clear about marriage in the afterlife. Matthew 22:30. For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

  44. This voice on radio is so dull.
    She glosses over scripture in a way that doesn’t bring any life to the insights of the words written about Christ and marriage. I remember fondly my teachers at school who could bring a classes attention to a subject alive and interested. Allowing us to discover ourselves the hidden wisdom in things as explorers.
    Sitting through this woman’s talk show, I probbably wouldn’t imagine anyone notices the difference between when she is on air or another bland advertisement is being played.

    It is trivial to her to discuss marriage. To me it is a sacred thing. So I am pleased to put forward my own point publicly like her and say this.

    “Christ will marry his church”
    “He is the bridegroom”
    In the times of writing these ideas Bridegroom was the word to describe the man who performs the ceremony over the couple. The confusion lies with the custom of the husband to be usually taking the role as they couldn’t in the moment of marriage have another man present.

  45. I support what this woman says. Lol jokes no one does.

  46. Funny how even men in the church are considered ‘the bride’, go figure

  47. What incoherent nonsense.

  48. Chris Avant Smith 21 Dec 2012, 7:28pm

    Great, for 2000 years Christians have been awaiting the return of Christ, and if it means he returns to marry a man, more power to him. I hope that he doesn’t jump at the first man he sees, but rather gets to know a whole lot of different men in can I say it the “biblical” sense before he decides to settle down. One more thing, do you think his mother would want to him to marry into the Jewish faith??

    1. he’s not your type – much more likely to settle down with a slightly balding average guy from the north of England :)

  49. she should check the governments report on the consultation – 72% of christians supported same-sex marriage. Guess she would accuse them of not being real christians.

  50. “pretenders to the throne”, eh?

    Yes, that’s the true ‘christian’ meaning here – just good old heterosexual superiority complex. With a bloody great dash of looniness too, of course. I don’t know whether to laugh at her or pity her. She’s clearly in need of help.

  51. “When Jesus returns”
    If I suspend the logical/rational side of my brain and pretend that *If* Jesus was to return…I think he would have a lot more to worry about than gay marriage.
    Like..I don’t know. Maybe like the fact that many of those claiming to be following in his name and nature have committed some of the worst acts on mankind ever. The fact that they use his name to promote their hateful & bigoted propaganda against those who’re vulnerable and defenseless.
    I don’t follow the Jesus mythology, but if I had, I would be thoroughly embarrassed by many other Christians’ actions over the years.

  52. Diepiriye Kuku 22 Dec 2012, 11:34am

    If Jesus came back today, they’d crucify him! I’m pretty sure Jesus, the prince of peace, would be all about dialogue and reconciliation based on mutual forgiveness, and there’s little of that spoken by the most vocal Christians leaders. So yeah, they’d get him all over again (unless the real Jesus followers stand up and demand that we focus on love).

  53. Joshua Travis McGraw 22 Dec 2012, 9:29pm

    As a supporter of gay rights, I am also a supporter of accuracy and this publication is often misleading in their headlines. The headline of this article is never adhered to in any of the quotes offered. It is one thing to be offended by the fact that she does not obviously support your lifestyle bit you’ve provided not one quote of her stating that it “might lead to a homosexual Jesus.” It is disingenuous bullshit. I’m all about the good fight but fucking do better at it, guys. You don’t help yourselves at all when you allow yourselves to be riled by inaccuracies.

  54. SB_Australia 23 Dec 2012, 6:07am

    Wait. So is she saying that Jesus is a closet gay just waiting for the opportunity to marry a guy?

    Merry Christdoesntexistmas everyone!

  55. azasos org 23 Dec 2012, 9:24am

    The nicest thing about “God/s” and “Jesus” is the divine fact that we can make them say anything we want them to say! Better chance for Batman’s second coming… a myth cannot have a “second Coming”! Gays are real, gods aren’t!

  56. Since Jesus hung with the 12 dead beat dads who had left their families to follow him around the countryside how do you know he wasn’t already boffing a guy as well as Mary Magdalen ??? Jesus as a bi-sexual, imagine that!!!

    1. God is imaginary. Who cares what this Goofus thinks, or says?

  57. Christianity is a mish-mash of mystical tosh which would leave Jesus completely baffled.

  58. Heck, Jesus was running around with a dozen guys as it was….and just was was he doing with Timothy in the other room….no explanation of that at all!

  59. Jesus is about Love. If there is Love, who cares about the gender?

    1. Michael Barber 24 Dec 2012, 9:12pm

      Jesus is a myth about love and about murder, genocide, control of your mind, and a whole lot of bullshit that cannot be proven.

  60. Dollie Auntie 24 Dec 2012, 8:15pm

    You can’t force Jesus Christ to do “anything” — He’s friggin’ GOD, okay??

    …although he might do it to piss off some of these nutrolls taking His name in vain.

  61. Michael Barber 24 Dec 2012, 9:11pm

    Harvey; You need 24 hour psychiatric care and a lithium drip. Please don’t breed.

  62. If the body of the chruch is the bride that Christ seeks, it’s not an issue of gender at all. He’s looking to unite with his church. You COULD call it his groom if you wanted to. It’s just an analogy. You’d have to be an idiot to fall for her logic.

  63. Wayne A. Schneider 12 Jan 2013, 3:57pm

    Why do Conservatives such as yourself equate the government ALLOWING you to do something with the government FORCING you to do something? They are not at all the same thing, yet that’s how you’re interpreting it.

  64. Tony Smith 12 Jan 2013, 4:36pm

    that’s not what she said. i’m pro-gay; i am gay; but i believe in truthful reporting.

  65. James Thompson 12 Jan 2013, 8:24pm

    How do we know if he wasn’t in the closet while he was alive? After all most men at his age had a wife back then.

  66. This woman’s stupidity helps the cause of
    gay equality.

  67. Gay Activist Paul Mitchell 13 Jan 2013, 12:19am

    More BS coming out of her own mouth, does she listen to herself (perhaps not). What a dumb, dopey stupid bigoted bitch!

    More loopy than a old Kellogg’s packet of fruit loops in the back of the bedroom closet encouraging vermin who spread trash all over the globe with mindless and gutter dribble!

  68. Paul from Tacoma, WA 13 Jan 2013, 12:26am

    Gay Activist Paul Mitchell,

    She can not help it I suppose, because she is addicted and hooked on crack cocaine or meth or something!

    2 months ago we won in four states – that that bigots! Bigots will never get over that now, build a bridge and get over it my mother would say! Gay marriage or marriage equality is coming whether you like it or not to all 50 states sooner or later – so just move on and accept it you dumb and stupid bigots!

  69. Elaine McAuliffe 13 Jan 2013, 10:49pm

    OMG! Actually to have a “biblical” marriage it would have to be polygamous. These nutters keep conveniently overlooking that fact. These idiots keeping clinging to outdated ideas to keep the future at bay. Sad and scary since too many ignorant people listen and thing these nutters know something.

  70. “Same-sex marriage laws might force a resurrected Jesus to marry a man”

    Who’s forcing him to marry anyone?
    Why would he want to marry anyone?

    His father never married his mother, never mind she was 14 at the time.
    The only reason for him to be “forced” to “marry a man” is that he was pressured by some congregation or another to marry, and decided that he’d prefer a bloke. That’s very sexist, is not entirely without truth.

  71. Ok, she’s bat-shit crazy, but this article actually distorts what she said. She didn’t say Jesus would be forced to marry a man. She says same-sex laws ruin the ‘beautiful’ Christian analogy of Jesus being like a bridegroom to his Church. She obviously doesn’t comprehend the difference between metaphor and literal sense, but that’s another matter.

  72. Linda’s concerns are justified. In the depths of her soul she’s certainly aware that Jesus is pro-gay marriage. ^^

  73. ….I don’t even have to ask if she’s retarded, her comments just… she’s beyond a facepalm response….

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