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Comment: Why I’m no longer Gay but still want to marry someone of the same sex

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  1. l am the same i am in love with a wonderful person that he is another man has nothing to do with anyone else.and why should 2men in love be any different from an abusive relationship twixt a man and a woman

    1. Ben Foster 31 Oct 2012, 4:18pm

      Why is this marked down? I see nothing wrong with this statement.

      1. Look again at the comparison being made.

        1. Ben, I think it’s the ‘abusive relationship’ bit that’s the problem. Maybe you read it a bit too quick. He’s suggesting that 2 men in love is equivalent to an abusive hetero relationship.

        2. Ben Foster 7 Nov 2012, 7:32pm

          Yes, I misread that one through being too impatient to read them all. I accept the marking down. My bad!

      2. GingerlyColors 1 Nov 2012, 6:51am

        Domestic abuse and violence can also affect gay relationships as well. A friend of my mother’s was in a Lesbian relationship where they had monumental rows – believe me because I have witnessed it myself when I was staying with them while my parents were away on holiday (I was still a teenager then). It is unfortunate that we have to have a charity like Broken Rainbow to deal with gay relationships that turn violent.

  2. I’m not reading this. I’ve met this guy and, to put it mildly, I didn’t like him.

    1. Suddenly Last Bummer 31 Oct 2012, 8:23pm

      Tell us more, this guy really needs to have a hatchet job done on him. The fact he classifies himself as a life coach highlights the issue that people in his position doling out advice or suggestions to others should be better qualified than just downloading a qualification off some website.

      1. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 8:59pm

        Yes, this article is all a bit “woo-ey”, isn’t it. Particularly at the end. Everything was explained though when I read the “Life Coach” bit! (Takes your money and mostly talks nonsense.)

        I remember this guy from his early days in Manchester. He used to be always covered in a thick layer of make-up. (And everybody pretended they couldn’t see it and looked the other way.) But the guy had pluck and he was prepared to be the centre of attention and to speak up for gay rights.

        Of course, despite his playing with terminology he’s GAY. I’m glad he’s found a life-partner. But I do hope he doesn’t get the chance to fill young LGBTs’ heads with his woo-ey nonsense!

    2. Well, that’s helpful and insightful to the argument.

  3. Wow, you sound like a complete sociopath.

    1. My sentiments exactly!

    2. Not hard to spot is it?

  4. i respectfully suggest that it was possible for Chris to `choose’ his sexuality, in the same way i may have `chosen’ mine as the one that suited me most emotionally and sexually, but this doesnt apply to everyone. some people only find themselves drawn emotionally or sexually to one gender.

    1. He didn’t choose his sexuality, he chose his identity. The word “gay” means a whole lot more than just being an androphile male:

      Gay == homosexual + [a whole load of cultural crap]

      He simply dismissed the cultural crap as irrelevent to his sexuality. He’s still androphile. He’s still homosexual (or bisexual).

  5. What an absolutely fantastic piece. Well done. What matters is that our choices are respected when they’re made freely and harm no one. Be proud of them. This position is so much richer than the “born this way” one and actually chimes better with gay rights jurisprudence.

    1. The article isn’t about being ‘born this way’ or not. It’s not about choosing sexuality it’s about choosing to live under the label of being gay.

  6. Suddenly Last Bummer 31 Oct 2012, 2:12pm

    “Chris Morris is a life coach and meditation teacher”. What can he teach us about life? That he is a shallow superficial individual? All I got from his dribble of an article was he got to sleep with lots of hot guys and ‘chose’ to be gay to get some attention at school.

    1. I’m not sure I believe that part – many 15 year olds boast about their sex lives, but few are sexually active, and extremely few have gay relationships. This guy boasts of both! Didn’t ring true somehow, but that may be me being envious!

  7. Midnighter 31 Oct 2012, 2:13pm

    Nice sentiments, and I don’t believe labels should define or limit our sexuality.

    The premise of “choosing” is nevertheless disingenuous. If you are bisexual (having had sex with boys and girls suggests to me that this may describe the author) I can see that you may well “chose” to only express one aspect of your sexuality and suppress the other.

    Those of us who have never had attraction other than for one particular sex do not have that “choice”,

    1. Midnighter 31 Oct 2012, 2:14pm

      ^”choose” (sp)

    2. But Midnighter, Chris Morris believes you do have the choice to be attracted to the opposite sex. In another article on his website he says:

      “I know a lot of people will feel the same when I say you can choose who you’re attracted to and who you’re propelled to seek relationships with. I don’t mean it’s a simple and conscious choice like how you want to have your steak cooked. I mean that you’re a human being and you’re capable of anything human beings are capable of, and the labels we use to feel secure are also the fences that keep us penned in.

      I work with people who want to explore what else they’re capable of. We explore their potential from the perspective of fascination, not desperation. It’s about expanding, not changing. My experience is increasingly that we can be whoever we choose to be, from the inside out..” (http://www.chrismorris.com/blog/2011/05/are-we-sure-that-being-gay-isnt-a-choice/)

      If you want to waste your time, his introductory appointments are free.

      1. Midnighter 1 Nov 2012, 5:18pm

        Thank you for that clarification. So perhaps “deluded” is more apt than “disingenuous” on that basis. Good to know about these people, I suppose.

        I say “deluded”, given the lack of acceptance and eventual retraction and apology of Dr Robert Spitzer’s paper, and the multiple U-turns from ‘ex-gay’ proponents now stating that it doesn’t work (Bussee, Cooper, Chambers etc from ‘Exodus’ alone) who have already looked at this for decades.

  8. What an inspiring piece. What matters is that our choices are respected provided that they’re made freely and harm no one. Be proud of them and live them freely. This is a far richer stance than the “born this way” one. Well done.

  9. Best article I have ever read on gay as a construct:- an identity you choose but one that cannot and should not be fostered onto others simply because they are attracted to members of the same sex.

    The gay lobby should leave people like sports stars and actors alone and not demand they come out.

    Out of what exactly?

    Just because they physically perform sexually with others of the same sex, that fact alone does not define them as being gay and they should stop being berated for choosing not to buy into the so-called gay lifestyle with all its trappings or simply not wanting to identifying as gay.

    As Chris astutely espouses, being and doing are two entirely different things:- the first defines you as gay if you choose that to be an aspect of your personality, the latter is just an expression of a physical act between those of the same sex.

    BIG difference!!

    More thought-provoking articles like these please, PN!

    People who sometimes or always sleep with men do

    1. “Just because they physically perform sexually with others of the same sex, that fact alone does not define them as being gay”

      Um, yes it does. You can’t define yourself as A when factually you are B. I have blue eyes so defining myself as having green eyes is ridiculous. Similarly, if you only sleep with and form sexual/romantic relationships with men, you are gay and to define yourself as anything else is absurd.

      It sounds like your issue is with what society associates with being gay, and that is a legitimate debate. But ‘gay’ is not just a construct/identity, it’s a biological fact like hair colour, height or blood type. A blonde woman can’t just define herself as a brunette because she doesn’t like the stereotype of blonde people. Similarly, a man who sleeps with men can’t define himself as anything but gay simply because he doesn’t like gay stereotypes.

      1. If you are blonde you can pretend to be brunette by secretly dying your hair. Hiding your blonde roots will become tedious but maybe blondes are being discriminated against. Then you find out that a huge amount of seemingly dark haired people are actually blonde!!!

        1. spookiewon 3 Mar 2013, 11:11pm

          But you won’t BE a brunette, any more than pretending you are attracted to women will make you straight.

    2. I would add that I mean construct as in label, and the gay label is only a relatively recent construct, and one that has tribalism and togetherness/oneness as its core value as we are stronger and safer in numbers.

      The fact remains, however, that not everyone exclusively attracted to their own sex either desires or feels a need to belong to a tribe and we should respect their choices and stop harrassing them out of our perceived need to make our tribe stronger.

      1. There are many labels of recent origin – Asian, Muslim, Afro-Caribbean. Many very recent, such as “autistic”.
        We all have many labels, male, father, white, Christian, sportsman. Gay is just one more. It is only a defining label if you let it be. I am English, but that does not define me as a person. Nor is it a label I shy away from. It is simply a fact, one aspect of me. Being gay is not “tribalism”, but I feel better for being able to talk about it with other gay men. It’s called “empathy”, I think.

    3. Eek, sorry, for “personality” read “identity”…

    4. Sammy, you are so naive. Ignorant too. “Gay” became a political term of solidarity, not a random label to promote difference for difference sake. The premise of this article is unbelievably shallow and attention seeking. Pathetic.

  10. What I struggle with in the article is Chris Morris’s saying, firstly, that “I’m in love with a wonderful man” and secondly, that “I don’t think I’m gay anymore”.

    I find these two statements inherently contradictory. If you are a man with the capacity for profound emotional, affectional and sexual attraction to, and intimate and sexual relations with men, then you are gay, or at least bisexual if you have the same capacity with women.

    It’s like somebody saying “My birthday is 1st January but I don’t think I’m a capricorn”. It’s contradictory.

    1. He us is making a loose association of personal awareness against societal constructs about love and relationships. He is say, his expressing love for another is unpegging it from gender or sex. He seems to have awareness of his feelings and thoughts but lacks the psychological termanology to get it accross well.

      He means well.

      1. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:03pm

        Yeah, a lot of loose talkers and woo-ey people “mean well”, Ray, but they’re actually, at the end of the day, rather dangerous.

        This one has always been a bit of an exhibitionist too.

        1. spookiewon 3 Mar 2013, 11:14pm

          VERY dangerous.

  11. ruffscouse 31 Oct 2012, 2:23pm

    You made a “choice” when you were 15??, thats all very well. Your hormones dont settle down til you are 21 and your predetermined “Choice” was premature. Should you have waited until you were a little older you would not have had that “choice” your body would have told you ” I’M GAY and I was born that way” So no Mr Morris you never made that choice, It was made and determined for you long before you had time wipe your arse for the first time!

  12. He’s bisexual, isn’t he?

    1. yeah basically.

    2. Two of us called Neil – this could get confusing! – think I will rename myself “the other Neil”.

    3. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:05pm

      He claims he used to sleep with as many girls as boys prior to his becoming a public figure but when he surfaced in Manchester let me tell you I can’t think of a single Manchester lass that would have craved to sleep with him. He was very effeminate and as I mention above he was always covered in a thick layer of slap.

    4. I don’t think there is such a thing as a bisexual. Bi now, Gay later! It’s just a ruse for those men and women who want their cake and eat it!

  13. Good to see Chris Morris is as nutty and gay-hating as ever, but that’s public school for you I guess.

    “I think shame is at the root of our current financial crisis and all the problems in our country.”

    If David Icke came up with crap like that the world would die laughing.

    PS You might also want to explain what your hocus pocus “life coaching” involves.

  14. Robert in S. Kensington 31 Oct 2012, 2:32pm

    I’m waiting now for a wired in the blood straight to tell us when he or she chose to be heterosexual. Can heterosexuals become gay I wonder, by choice?

    1. Ben Foster 31 Oct 2012, 4:17pm

      I’ve met a few ‘straights’ who want to find out what ‘it’s like’ – meaning the sex. I suppose they’re ‘choosing’ but I think most of them just want a quick thrill.

      1. Is there any gay man who hasn’t met a straight who wants to find out what it’s all about? The trouble is, to put it as delicately as possible, in an open forum, they want to know what it’s like to sh*g another man. They don’t want to be the one bein sh*gged. That’s when they choose to be straight again.

  15. “I’m gay but i chose to be gay” no you’re bisexual! both gay and straight people don’t have the luxury of being able to choose.

    1. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:07pm

      I don’t think he’s bisexual at all. Him just saying he is doesn’t make it so, does it.

  16. So he had sex with a lot of men and is in love with a man, yet he’s not gay?…emmm.
    Lets get another take on it. He was brought up in care spent most of the time on his own and he desperately wanted to be loved. or at least have attention.He also says he invented himself and being gay.= This type of behaviour and mind is the type of mind,generally suffering from dissociation disorder on top of a few others . His up bringing meant he was separate from his actual emotions because he never had anyone to teach him anything other then sex.. When this happens you think everything you do is an act because you can’t feel it as strongly,you are on the outside looking in. You also tend to be a control freak. Sexuality,sex mixed with disorders always turns out wonky,however it still doesn’t get rid of the fact he is pretty much gay ,no matter what his detached self says.

    1. Superb comment. This, exactly.

    2. Agree entirely. Based on the clues in the article, I suspect he’d meet the criteria for Histrionic Personality Disorder.

      1. Extremely astute insight into this strange ‘life coach’. I’m afraid I’d run a mile…

  17. I don’t see any ‘choice’ in this at all. This wasn’t a straight man who chose to somehow make himself sleep with men, it’s just a man who is either gay or bisexual.

    Weird article, in my opinion. Yes, you can choose how you label yourself, but you can’t deny reality.

    Also, I hate the idea that being gay is somehow a lifestyle, that all gay people are clones of each other and do exactly the same thing. No, we don’t – nor should any LGBT person feel they need to be a certain way to fit in.

    I get the feeling this was written to be ‘provocative’ but it just comes across as muddled and superficial to me. If there was a point to it, it got lost in there somewhere.

  18. ‘Gay’ is not a sexual orientation. It is an identity.

    Homo-; hetero or bi are sexual orientations.

    This ‘life-coach’ does not seem to be able to vocalise that he is bi, but identifies as gay.

    And he is being massively irresponsible by confirming to the bigots what they always say – that orientation is a choice.

    Has anyone been to his ‘life-coaching’ classes?

    I’ll bet they were as terrible as this article.

  19. Just because he “chose” his sexuality it doesn’t mean he can brand anyone else as making a “choice”
    The only choice i made was to come out.

  20. Nicolas Chinardet 31 Oct 2012, 2:42pm

    I think the author is splitting hair for effect here. He may not be “gay” but he is still “homosexual” (or bi by the sound of it): ie attracted by his own gender and he has no choice whatsoever in that.

    That sort of poorly explained identity rhetoric is also dangerous as it will be seized upon by the ex-gay movement.

    1. He’s spouting nonsense for publicity but will ultimately be responsible for the negative attention, homophobia and hate crimes this causes the rest of us.

    2. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:10pm

      Yes, Nicolas, bang on!

      I know him from when he surfaced in Manchester and it was clear to me he was a troubled lad who loved being the centre of attention.

    3. > I think the author is splitting hair for effect here

      I disagree. The gay identity has been thrust upon homosexuals for decades whether they want it or not, and many of us are sick of it. i’m homosexual, I’m an androphile male, but I am loathe to call myself “gay”, and doubly so “queer”.

      Jack Donovan articulates this sentiment in his book “Androphilia”, and the Gaybros forum on reddit is evidence that the gay identity is unwanted by many others.

  21. Robert in S. Kensington 31 Oct 2012, 2:48pm

    On the downside, Chris, saying that you can “choose” to be gay only plays into the hands of the ex-gay religion based ministries. This doesn’t help matters even though there may be some among us who share your view of sexual orientation. The majority of us don’t I think.

    1. He’s an irresponsible idiot.

      And people PAY this idiot to give them life-coaching?

  22. The problem here is entirely a semantic one. And as usual there is very rarely any recognition that semantics is fuzzy – different people understand different things by the same words.

    To some people “gay” simply means “attracted to members of one’s own gender”. To them it is puzzling when a man says “I love men but I’m not gay”, because by their understanding of the term the statement is a paradox.

    But to others “gay” means not just a sexual orientation but a cultural group-identity – a “gay” person is someone who makes a conscious decision to project a particular sexual identity to others and makes it an important part of their self-image. Of course, by these lights, “I’m not gay, i just sleep with men” is just as much a consciously chosen mode of self-definiton as “I’m gay” is.

    Neither of these is the “correct” definition of the word “gay”, however. Both are valid usages. And when one understands the semantic diversity here, there’s not much worth arguing over.

    1. Except that when we are constantly being bombarded with the message that we ‘choose’ to be what we are, and therefore deserve less rights, then it is entirely predictable that this ‘life-coach’ will be regarded as an irresponsible idiot.

      1. Only if one ignores the subtleties of semantic variation. Which a lot of people do, granted, and a lot of people need to stop doing.

        Because this is not an article that puts across the notion that our underlying sexual biology is a matter of choice, it’s an article saying that we have a choice in how we present and project our sexual identity to the world, and the extent to which we make it a defining characteristic of who we are.

        This article implicitly rejects the notion that one’s underlying sexual orientation can be chosen. The only way it can be interpreted otherwise is if one fails to understand the different uses the word “gay” has in our linguistic culture.

        1. In that case – he’s simply a very bad writer; incapable to writing a coherent arguement.

    2. Well put VP, to some gay is a cultural or group identity:- a necessary construct for those who feel the need to be a part of a tribe.

      And with our history of persecution and marginalization it is easy to see why many gay-identified people would assume anyone who inhibits same sex attraction to be gay per se.

      I long for the day when we can just confine divisive labels – gay/straight/bi/whatever – in the dustbin of history and just accept each other for who we ARE and not what we do in bed!

      1. We don’t live in that perfect world.

        So for a man with a bi orientation to be making incoherent statements about how he CHOOSES to be gay; is playing right into the hands of the bigots.

        This life-coach is no friend to the equality movement.

    3. I think you are spot on.

      In an article of this nature, the author should have made his definitions clearer. Perhaps they were clearer in the blog version.

      I submit that the ‘attracted to members of one’s own gender’ meaning of ‘gay’ is the predominant definition in most places, replacing the horribly clinical term “homosexual”. This should have been made clear.

    4. The best comment here by far. Erudite and concise.

  23. I don’t choose to be gay; I choose to label myself as gay. And I think that’s Chris’s point.

    My difference is that I don’t use that as a barrier between myself and the world. I’m perfectly capable of putting up barriers without involving sex.

    1. Well why didn’t he simply state that then?

      Oh silly me – he’s a ‘life-coach’ – he clearly likes the sound of his own voice.

      1. Ultimately, he’s got a service to sell. I’m also aware that the purpose of a Comment piece is to stimulate debate – a sort of paid, planned trolling.

        I don’t begrudge him either of those things.

        However, the potential misuse of the concept of choice is quite serious, and he should be much more careful with his language.

      2. I thought he did state that. Seems to me to be what the whole article is about. Not sure everyone really read it.

    2. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:17pm

      You say you didn’t choose to be gay. Presumably you mean that you ARE gay and that you didn’t choose it. If that is so, you don’t then “choose” whether or not to label yourself as gay. You ARE bloody gay! Now get on with your life.

      1. I could choose to label myself as a Friend of Dorothy or a Queer or a Homosexual or a Turnip or a Princess or a Transparent Ointment for Peeling Brickwork. Or (gasp) a Human Being.

  24. He recognises he had sex with girls. I’m gay and have never had sex with girls. My body doesn’t respond to the stimulus of a woman’s body. He’s bisexual. So, he can choose. However, he shouldn’t talk about fully homosexual or heterosexual people from his self-centered bisexual perspective if he doesn’t know anything about that condition. Nothing in your body is chosen, not sexual orientation nor happiness nor sadness nor anything. We’re all subjects of what’s going on in our body.

    Apart from that, homosexuality is not a question of “doing sex” occasionally with men. A celibate gay man is still a gay man lol Homosexuality determines the way you are. If a gay man is slightly girlish, it’s because of his homosexuality, not because of “doing sex occasionally with men” lol You don’t really need to ask him if he prefers guys or girls :P He’s just gay.

    I think this guy just has problems with his identity like many bi guys. I’m fully gay and happy with the way I am :)

    1. “If a gay man is slightly girlish, it’s because of his homosexuality”
      But not all gay men act girlish!! :(
      A lot of gay men act extremely manly. If a man acts girly, it’s because of his personality, not his sexuality…

  25. Chris Morris 31 Oct 2012, 3:08pm

    This wasn’t a comment piece for PinkNews.co.uk. I wrote it for my own blog and PinkNews.co.uk is welcome to post a copy but I’m surprised it has been edited and given this misleading introduction. I’ve asked the editor to change it to the original or remove it entirely.

    The article is about choosing your self-image, not sexuality. It was written primarily for people I know; an honest explanation of where I’m at in my own life. It’s about my experiences and nobody else’s.

    1. Please post the link to your blog.

      1. I saw the article on the blog but I can’t see any edits except that the author capitalised the word ‘gay’, perhaps in a way to distinguish gay (the sexual orientation) from Gay (the identity). I don’t know. It’s not clear.

        As VP says, the problem is probably a semantic one. But it’s important to remember that to the overwhelming majority of people, including gay people (and I use the word ‘gay’ here to refer to their sexual orientation) gay is simply a synonym for homosexual.

        If I’m correct about the way the article was written, then the post is simply about a gay (or bisexual) man who doesn’t want to be defined by his sexual orientation. Big deal. I suspect very few of us do. But obfuscation of these issues is dangerous. I think the author has deliberately avoiding clearly distinguishing sexual orientation from self-image to provoke and to attract attention. Doing so gives ammo to those who say being gay is a choice, that we can change it, and that we are thus less equal.

    2. That explains a great deal.

    3. A lot of comments here that are ignorant of the fact that bisexuality isn’t necessarily a choice either. I think this should be addressed. Bisexuals don’t choose what they find attractive anymore than heterosexuals or homosexuals. The only difference is that there’s more than one gender from which they may find someone attractive. So it’s not a choice.

      Scientific research (see LeVay, Kinsey, Bailey research) has suggested that our sexuality is pre-disposed, but even if it IS a choice – so what?

      I don’t think choice undermines any argument for gay rights. Anti-gay people don’t like homosexuality because it’s homosexuality, not because someone chose to be homosexual. It seems to me that the ‘born this way’ argument is still playing on the anti-gay premise, when it needs to go beyond this and say ‘You have no grounds for thinking that being gay is wrong, so we can disregard this.’ Therefore it doesn’t matter if it is a choice, because there’s nothing wrong with it in the first place!

      1. Right on.

        It feels like giving into the bigots to say “sorry I can’t help it I was born this way” (even if it’s true).

        F that. People have every right to do it with whoever they please as long as they both (or all) agree.

    4. Staircase2 31 Oct 2012, 3:45pm

      Well said Chris

      It’s the salacious nature of the headline which I too took exception to. What the fcvk is going on with Pink News of late…?

      It’s like they swallowed the Daily Mail and came up smelling of horse poo…

      This isn’t the first salacious headline we’ve had from them recently…

      Sort it out, Pink News for fcvks sake!

      1. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:22pm

        Don’t be fooled by Chris Morris’s “gracious” intervention. Put the headline aside. The content of this piece of writing is confused. And Chris Morris should not be permitted to work with anyone who has identity issues.

        There are a lot of individuals like him setting up business as “psychological experts” when they are nothing of the kind. They’re just individuals who need to have power over others. They have a “Messianic” need.

      2. Did Pink News change the headline? The headline on this piece is exactly the same as the headline on his website.

    5. Where is the link to your blog?

      You have made a statement that Pink News edited your article into the piece of irresponsible drivel that appears on the website currently.

      We want to see your original article.

  26. Indeed, I would venture to say that “I’m in love with another man” is a statement of personal identity that implicitly projects “I’m gay” to the world, if “gay” is to be taken as a mode of presentation of one’s underlying biology, rather than that underlying biology itself.

    Those in committed loving relationships clearly have less need to project their sexuality by other means – because it’s patently obvious what that is from the man hanging off your arm. The relationship is a very obvious means of self-identification.

    But for people like me, who are deeply in love but cannot yet be with their beloved thanks to circumstance, a different expedient is necessary. I want to tell the world how important my love is to my identity, but I can’t show it yet because my beloved is not currently available. Hence other signals must be used, and an affirmation of my gay identity is a good one for starters.

    When we are finally together, I expect I too will have less reason to shout about it.

  27. Garry Cassell 31 Oct 2012, 3:10pm

    At best, this is “hog wash”…

  28. Christopher Hobe Morrison 31 Oct 2012, 3:22pm

    I agree completely. There are gays and there are heterosexuals, and there are bisexuals, and I don’t think anybody is really entirely at one end or another. Why should anybody be restricted by a label? There is sexuality which is very wide, and there is eros and who you fall in love with and they are different although people really need to listen to their heart. If they are responsible and don’t harm others intentionally people should follow what is in their heart.

    1. I am a man. That is an inescapable fact. It was not my choice. The fact that people label me as a man does not restrict me. The fact that I have a penis does, in some areas of my life. Labels are just that, just labels.
      If it walks like a duck, and swims like a duck, we label it as a duck. If a man loves and sleeps with men, we label them gay.

    2. “Why should anybody be restricted by a label? ”

      I’m sorry, labels are a part of life, it helps us describe ourselves and how others describe us and the world around us. Not wanting to be called gay when you are, is just kinda silly.

  29. Tom Cotner 31 Oct 2012, 3:24pm

    I suppose that anyone can switch from sex with women to sex with men, or vice versa – and back and forth at will — but he should call it what it really is – bisexuality — and I’ve known several people of that ilk. Nothing particularly good or particularly bad about being bisexual – in fact, my friends who are state they have the best of both worlds.
    In this regard, yes, he is choosing his sexuality du jour —
    In connecting that with whether most of us can choose our sexuality, however, the man is severely confused.
    I knew I was gay by the time I was an early teen – if not before that – I never gave it a thought – and the idea of sex with the opposite sex, when it did cross my mind, was totally absurd – for me.
    I suspect all this hoo haw will do is provide those who claim they can “cure” people’s sexuality with fodder for the hate mill.
    That’s pitiful!

    1. well i don’t know necessarily about the best of both worlds they have to deal with homophobia from straight people and the way certain gay people like to shun bisexual people and label them “greedy”.

  30. “I can remember the first time I chose to be gay. I was 15 and bored on my way home from school”.

    Hahahaha~~~

    1. Well, frankly I think being gay and openly so is much more serious than a way of relieving boredom. That comment utterly trivialises all our experiences in that sentence..

      1. Yes exactly… that’s why I quoted it..

    2. “Even when some boys smashed a glass bottle over my head, I felt untouchable”. Please, that’s just insensitive to those who have suffered physical attacks because of their sexuality.

      1. Danny Dan Dan Dan 5 Nov 2012, 1:08pm

        Knowing Chris as the arrogant and utterly detestable human being that he is, there may well have been plenty of other reasons why some boys smashed a glass over his head. No excuse for that kind of violence, admittedly, but just saying.

  31. Paul Brownsey 31 Oct 2012, 3:35pm

    There’s a lot of silliness in this article.

    Morris thinks choosing to be gay is a matter of (a) choosing to act as a gay man, and (b) choosing to label himself gay.

    Fundamentally, being gay is about the feelings you have and you can’t choose what feelings you’re going to have.

    1. When I was younger, I felt being gay was more about the feelings other people had about me – the ones calling me names because I was ‘different’ to them. They chose the ‘gay’ label rather than me.

      1. Paul Brownsey 31 Oct 2012, 7:49pm

        They may have chosen to pick you out by a label, but they didn’t choose your feelings. They didn’t choose your feeling sexual desire for some men. Or did they?

      2. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:26pm

        That may have been so. It’s possible for a young lad not to recognise that he’s gay before those around him do.

        1. Paul Brownsey 1 Nov 2012, 9:46am

          Jesus Mohammed, I am not denying that what you say may be true. The point is that in such a case other people don’t *cause* him to have the desires that he has; they merely recognise what his desires are before he recognises them himself. Once he realises the nature of his desires, he may then make a decision to live a life in which satisfying those desires has a place: but that isn’t a decision to *be* gay but is instead a decision to *act* on the gay desires which he did not choose to have.

          People like Morris talk as though choosing to be gay is like choosing to be, say, a Goth–is choosing to adopt certain modes of behaviour, dress, etc. This ignores the fact that fundamental to being gay is a certain sort of desire, and while you can choose whether or not to act on your desires, you can’t choose the desires themselves.

          1. Jesus Mohammed 1 Nov 2012, 1:23pm

            Hi Paul. I wonder if you realised that my comment, above, was in response not to yours, which with I agreed, but in response to that of “Bent Pin”. I agree with your latest comment (directly above) too.

  32. Staircase2 31 Oct 2012, 3:39pm

    The thing the article misses as it goes along is his opening statement which is effectively saying he’s bisexual.

    So when he then later says ‘I’m no longer gay’ (what a load of bollocks) what he means is he’s no longer identifying with that ‘sexual identity group’ any more…

    On that basis the article is disingenuous, as is the misleading headline which really should know better already.

    I would expect The Daily Mail to write it, I don’t expect Pink News to be writing it.

    1. Exactly. You’ve got it spot on. And don’t even get me started on the phrase “the ripple will be infinite…” which even a schoolkid would cringe at in shame. Better writing please.

  33. This is just a rehash of the age-old “I don’t believe in labelling” argument. Simon Hughes used it when the papers found out about him.

  34. Andrew John 31 Oct 2012, 3:46pm

    As I think is borne out by some of the comments here, Chris is saying not that he chose to be gay, chose a sexuality as such, but that he chose a sexual identity. This is assuming there is such a thing as bisexuality, which I’m inclined to think there is, but that itself is controversial and probably a subject best treated in a dedicated article rather than comments. I’d posit that he has no reason to hide the gay side of himself, given his history, so feels that what he’s saying is the truth, unless there’s a motive we’re not aware of, but I can’t think of one. I’m sure this article will give rise to some degree of comment and controversy.

    1. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:42pm

      He’s an attention-seeker, Andrew. Always has been. This guys got a long and rather odd history.

  35. Ben Foster 31 Oct 2012, 4:23pm

    I GET that he disagrees with labels like ‘gay’, ‘bi’, ‘straight’ etc. In a perfect world we would all just be humans and it wouldn’t matter who we love. But that perfect world only seems to exist in the sci fi far future where Captain Jack Harkness comes from. The rest of us live in a world of labels and definitions and Chris Morris is being disingenuous about his own relationships and really unhelpful to those of us fighting against the ‘chosen lifestyle’ label that allows Christians and their ilk to justify their opposition to our equal rights.

    1. As far as I can see, that ‘perfect world’ you speak of will remain in the ‘sci fi far future’ as long as articles like this are slated to the extent they have been on these comments. If we don’t allow these debates to take place then we’ll never bring the perfect future to us.

  36. Like when celebrities wear dark sunglasses at night, he seems to be saying “Look at me..no don’t!”
    Chris Morris is sort of saying rather “Look at me I’m gay..er no actually I’m not!

    Maybe it’s more complicated than this but he could have abbreviated the whole article by simply saying “I don’t want to be put in a box labelled gay”…fine by me.

    1. That supposedly previously straight rugby player who fell over and hit his head and suddenly turned into a camp homosexual hairdresser comes to mind for some reason, I don’t know why exactly.
      The connection may be one of opposites, that Chris Morris has perhaps been doing too much navel gazing while the other has done much too little, life is complicated, if it makes sense of their lives and works for them that’s fine .
      Myself, I’m a bisexual man in a long-term monogamous gay relationship, it works for me.

  37. He is basically repeating what the ‘Conversion therapists’ say. There is a difference between sexual orientation and sexual identity. Sexual identity can change, so far there is not evidence that sexual orientation can.

  38. I DIDN’T REALISE THAT YOU CHOOSE TO BE GAY…

  39. This is premised on mystical religious notions of a ‘real essential self’ discoverable under all our social labels and conditioning. I submit that this is supernatural nonsense and that all that would be there to be found would be the remains of a pre-verbal baby. Our identities are not Platonic fixtures but emerge and develop through our social experiences. I am a Northern Englishman of working class origins and these things are forever part of who I am – not detachable accessories to some distill able ‘soul’. My sexuality is also inseparable from this complex tangle of who I am (wherever it ‘comes from’) – and in practice is only experienced and mediated through all the other things in me. In a word, I think Chris’ position is philosophically untenable. And I’m afraid the voodoo tosh about the financial crisis does not help his case.

  40. Sad little twat

  41. I like the twist at the end “im not gay i just am” … thats the best way of doing it breaking down the barriers between “gay” and “straight” and just be seen as people rather then a class of people.

    but his description of himself makes him sound very attention seeking – theres plenty of people who didn’t want everyone to know when they came out, theres plenty of people who don’t like the insults and didn’t like the over the top name dropping.

  42. This is all a bore and not deserving of the workspace. Ms Morris’ is just precocious lingustic shadow-pupptry. He’s a gay homo faggot queen queer but can’t face choosing to be just that.

    1. Suddenly Last Bummer 31 Oct 2012, 8:33pm

      Maybe he caught sight of his reflection with some guy in his @ss and didn’t like the angle of the pose. An emphasis should be placed on ‘pose’. His whole schtick seems to be nothing other than; having people at school pay attention to him, dancing with Robbie Williams, befriending Ian McKellan and a plethora of self-centred events. I am mortified for him, he’s a f*%k!ng imbecile.

  43. And so what if sexuality would be a choice. Religion is. Deal with it. Man said he choose. Sue him. He sounds sane and clever and I bless his relationship and his lucky partner.

    1. Sometimes religion isn’t. Sometimes it become deeply ingrained as a youngster. Also having lack of religion isn’t always a choice. I’m atheist. I could try and believe in an afterlife, but it is virtually impossible for me to.
      I personally see him talking about choosing a label (gay) not his state of sexual orientation (homosexuality) so I have no qualms. If people cherry pick his work, so what? We have a deeper understanding of the article.

  44. Very interesting article on the whole idea of identity and masks. I myself can fully understand why someone would change their identity.

    For what I assume is most people, they find the thought of everyone of a certain gender in a sexual manner as unpleasent, for everyone else it’s more complicated. There’s some that had little flings when they were younger but had no further feelings for that gender later in life. There’s some that are almost exclusively gay or straight but have the odd crush here and there for the genders they would say they aren’t attracted to. There’s also the problem of when you’re sexual attraction can be different from romantic attraction. And then there’s also the case of when you’re sexual or possibly romantic feelings towards a gender change over time. And I could even imagine there’s other things that I haven’t mentioned that also complicate things.

    Though I would say the article is less bout orientation and more about identity in general.

    1. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:38pm

      Blondie, you’re getting negatives for your comment from people because while you’re absolutely correct to say that sexuality can be fluid for some people, for most people it is not, and in the case of Chris Morris there’s a lot of rewriting of his personal history going on. He’s describing how he wants things to be, not how they actually are or have been for him. (I knew him years ago. He wasn’t choosing to sport designer-stubble back then and claim that while living with a man he wasn’t gay. No, back then, he was always covered in a thick layer of makeup and claiming that he was GAY.)

      1. Thank you for explaining, I did wander that.

        Admittedly, while I was trying to describe why some people refuse to label their sexuality I found the article not really to be about his sexuality and thus my comment not really about the article and was probably more aimed at all the comments with very finite definitions on sexualities. I personally found the article to be about how he coped with his childhood and people’s rejections by using the “gay label” as a shield. And at the end when he says about not being gay, I see that as him trying to say, he’s dropping the mask and just going to be himself though I myself would still not speculate on his sexuality.

        But it was interesting to hear about how he was back then. I did imagine him being a very over the top, stereotypical gay guy.

        1. Jesus Mohammed 1 Nov 2012, 1:33pm

          Hi Blondie. I hear you. Julian Clary was in his heyday at the time that Chris Morris was exhibiting himself in public in the late 80s as a mascot for gay rights. In fact Clary’s performances in Manchester were a big hit at the very time that Morris came forward as the willing mascot of the anti-section 28 movement that was really strong in that city.

          I am pleased to see that most of the readers of PinkNews fully support the view that one’s sexuality is only a part of one’s personality while at the same time it is vital for our acceptance in society that we honestly identify to others what our sexuality is.

          For example, in my community many people know me for all sorts of things that I do and get involved in. However, I know that well over half of the members of my community are homophobic and prefer not to acknowledge that I am “a homosexual”. For that very reason I refer to “my partner”, and I occasionally speak of “gay people” and “lesbian people” &, occasionally, of “trans”.

  45. Remember earlier this year when Cynthia Nixon (from Sex & The City) caused an uproar by claiming that she chose to be gay when she met her now wife. Previously she’d been married to a man for over 10 years, and had identified (chosen?) to be straight during that time.

    When it was pointed out to her that her careless and irresponsible use of language added fuel to the fire of homophobic bigots who claimed that was a choice (and therefore ‘curable’) she quickly backtracked.

    She released a statement that her orientation was bisexual and that it was her relationship that she chose and not her orientation.

    Chris Morris, I presume is trying to make a similar point, but like Nixon’s original statements, he comes across as incoherent and expresses himself very poorly, and irresponsibly.

  46. Spanner1960 31 Oct 2012, 6:40pm

    “I can remember the first time I chose to be Gay.”

    Fckwit

    1. Irony perhaps? a poe? who can tell?

  47. Neuro-linguistic programming

    Chris Morris employs the techniques of Neuro-linguistic programming, which are largely discredited. Check out this –

    http://goo.gl/zFI3s

    1. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:34pm

      Well done, dave! Yes, NLP is, indeed, pseudo-scientific. Basically it amounts to just convincing yourself of things by repetition and various long-practised traditional pegging techniques and claiming that you’re actually “re-wiring” your brain.

      Of course, we hardly know a thing about the complex workings of the brain.

    2. Seems that he attempted to jump onboard this Amercian personal development group but they didn’t embrace him. After setting up NLP Connections for followers he disbanded it recently to try to become a life coach. After being rejected by the NLP guru and followers, he posted

      On Richard Bandler and Master Trainers

      “When I decided to stop training with Richard, back last Spring, was when I saw the new generation of master trainers in action at the Amsterdam training. Master trainers? They each did about ten minutes and most were very poor. It was embarrassing. If those are the best of the best – the cream of the field – then it doesn’t say much for Richard’s teaching. So with that in mind, and other things too of course, I decided there wasn’t much to hang around for.”

      On Bandler

      I think Richard’s approach to changework is rather paternal and patronising.

      I think everything that Richard Bandler has ‘invented’ is offered with more wisdom in its original form…

      Richard is a master at smearing people. And often it’s not so subtle.

  48. This article is going to be badly misquoted by right-wing media. I can just imagine it now – this high ranking, high profile ga ycampaigner confesses to making the choice to become homosexual. Shame on PN for giving them this obvious ammunition. ._.

  49. “Fourteen years later, I don’t think I’m Gay anymore; I just think I’m in love with a wonderful man.”

    I’m not a writer of comments on PinkNews. I just write comments on PinkNews.

  50. Was there a point to this drivel? It sounds like the kind of crap you get from a drunk sociology student who wants to appear “deep”.

  51. Dangermouse 31 Oct 2012, 8:04pm

    What a load of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. !!!

  52. My spine shivers at the thought of this man providing life coaching!

    1. Suddenly Last Bummer 31 Oct 2012, 8:18pm

      Plenty of shallow gay guys with deep pockets would really buy into Chris’s bull$h1t. He reminds me very much of a certain tv presenter who is also openly gay but dodges that bullet in interviews with his Buddhism, yoga and faux spiritual dronings.

      1. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:30pm

        True! I met a guy who was setting himself up as a gay life-coach. Yuck! I quickly saw he was an inadequate who needed feelings of superiority over others. Dropped him quick. Then noticed for years after that he was advertising regularly in the gay press as a “counsellor”.

        As you say, there are, sadly, lots of lost lads out there who will actually turn to people like this . . . instead of going to their GP and getting referred to a professional psychologist.

    2. Stephen Reynolds 9 Nov 2012, 6:12pm

      Unfortunately anyone can call themselves a life coach and one poster pointed out that Chris Morris has in the past fabricated memberships of various concerns to suggest a level of qualification he does not have. One example of this is The British School of Clinical Hypnosis – http://www.bsch.org.uk/ who have never heard of Chris Morris, yet here he displays a logo from this company on his site in 2007 before being instructed to remove it – http://web.archive.org/web/20070805055727/http://www.chrismorris.com/ His response was that his webmaster just decided to add it without his permission! Yeah sure…LOL This is one of many examples since the days of Stonewall of spin and smoke and mirrors. He also has claimed to be a psychotherapist and now a meditation teacher.

  53. Suddenly Last Bummer 31 Oct 2012, 8:13pm

    Can Chris Morris the name dropping, student sh@gg1ng, attention seeking life coach who is straight guy but f””ks men please explain the differences between his blog and what what Pink News reprinted? Goon.

  54. Said this already in a reply but worth saying again here.
    Gay became a political term of solidarity for a persecuted group of people. It was never a random label to promote difference. The premise of this article is unbelievably shallow and attention seeking. Pathetic. No doubt he’ll be squirming with delight at the indignant reaction. The child prodigy is missing the applause, obviously.

  55. This article seems like a deliberately controversial, muddled stream of consciousness which is designed to make the author look ‘interesting’ and boundary-pushing. The result is a pretentious pile of sh*te with worrying undertones.

    While he may not *mean* that people choose their sexuality, the headline and first paragraph are clearly meant to give that impression, which is basically mimicking what the ‘christians’ say.

    This is a grotesque betrayal of the gay community, in the name of getting some cheap attention. Shame on you.

  56. I saw “life coach” the article then really made sense. Just not in the way it was intended. If it was intended to make any sense. I think he needs help. I felt sorry for him.

  57. I think Chris Morris’ experience is unusual amongst men who love other men, and I certainly don’t share it. However, those of us who do count our same sex attraction as crucial to our identity do not need to feel threatened by someone who does not. I suspect this irrational reaction – feeling threatened – may lie behind some of the angry responses to the article and heavy down-voting of those who have expressed appreciation in their reactions.

    Interesting article. Thankyou.

    1. Jesus Mohammed 1 Nov 2012, 1:14pm

      Brian, having read through this whole thread, I feel confident in suggesting to you that you have based your judgement entirely on what Chris Morris has said in his screed rather than on the facts of his history.

      There are a lot of fraudsters in this world, you know. And beneath the fraudsters there are diminishing levels of individuals who engage in some degree of fraudulence and self-delusion.

    2. You’ve got it wrong, Bri. There is a movement at the moment that is trying to promote and bring about equality for GLBT people. Most of the people working the hardest in this quest are GLBT people. Those from within that group who use their positions to undermine the movement are worthy of contempt. Your amateur stab at psychiatry does you no favours.

  58. Jesus Mohammed 31 Oct 2012, 9:48pm

    At the very least it’s nice to see him showing his real face to the world, even though, clearly, it looks like he feels the need to sport stubble in order to prove a degree of masculinity. Back in Manchester in 1987 one always wondered what he would like without his constant application of makeup. (The makeup always alerted everyone to the fact that he had image issues.)

    1. Suddenly Last Bummer 31 Oct 2012, 9:54pm

      From reading what he says it looks like he’s lost the image issues and instead has mental health issues.

      1. Jesus Mohammed 1 Nov 2012, 1:11pm

        Well, I would say that the poor lad is still on a journey of self-discovery – and that’s a bit sad given that he must now be touching 40 years of age. By now he should have sorted out himself, and his career, and actually be getting on with actually be productive. Maybe I’m to blame. He wasn’t a pupil at the school I was teaching at in Manchester but I suppose I could have contacted his school and urged them to give him the help and counselling he so clearly needed at that time.

  59. Um. I’ve read some of the article. I don’t see him saying he ‘chose to be gay’ in the way people are making him out to have said it.

    I believe he is talking about how he labels himself. He doesn’t really want to be seen with the label (he probably doesn’t like labels). He chose the label young.

    Now he doesn’t really care for the label he just wants to love and marry who he loves. He may be homosexual or bisexual but he will be homosexual as a state or as a label. “Forget the label ‘gay’. I just love who I love”.
    I exist in a state as asexual, there’s no real label beyond the state of being asexual that I know of.

    So he may not be “gay” as a label, but he is homosexual.

    1. Just to dissociate myself from “Eddie”, I will agree with him that people have a right to label themselves as they wish, just as people have the right to be named as they have named themselves. Hence, I have the right to insist that people call me “Eddy” and NOT “Eddie”.

      However, this Chris Morris, judging by his history stretching back to his early days of cosmetics and self-image issues in Manchester, is simply rewriting his past and playing with definitions and probably in order to drum up publicity for his new role as a self-appointed “Life Coach”.

  60. “I can remember the first time I chose to be Gay. I was 15 and bored on my way home from school.”
    Way to mess it up for other LGBTs Mr. Morris.
    Place your bets people.
    How long will it be before some bunch of anti-gays pull this one up in the ongoing marriage equality debate?

  61. He’s probably buzzing off the negative attention generated by this article; in a similar way that fed his ego at school. I would have grave concerns about receiving therapy from this person.

    Chris, You should never name drop; Cher told me that!

  62. you can’t chose your sexuality, sure I accept there are bisexual people, but I did not chose to be gay, I just am attracted to men. You can’t wake up in bed and say I want to be straight today it just does not work that way. Your either gay, straight or Bi, you can’t change your mind every morning

  63. PinkPolitico 1 Nov 2012, 1:21am

    I agree and strongly disagree with parts of this article. The author is right in that we should all get to define our identities on our own terms and reject labels if we find them uncomfortable. But I also feel he is being somewhat flippant and disingeneous when he says he ‘choose’ to be gay. He didn’t. We do not determine our sexual orientation, that is an innate characteristic and fixed. We may choose to give expression to our sexual orientation in different ways but that is an entirely different issue. The fact is, all the mainstream organisations working in this area have made clear (in the face of distortions and smears from homophobic groups) that sexuality is absolutely not a choice. And finally, for many of us, being LGBT is an identity, and not just about sex, and one we happily embrace. It is about a sense of solidarity, borne out of the struggles we continue to to be involved in in order to secure full equality.

  64. PinkPolitico 1 Nov 2012, 1:32am

    I should also add that fully embracing your gay identity does not make you one dimensional or give others the right to put you in a ‘gay box’ as if you have nothing to contribute on other topics or issues. Unfortunately, some LGBT people run a mile from gay issues precisely because they are afraid of being pigeonholed. But that is unfair and wrong. We should be able to fully embrace our LGBT identities without being labelled single issue – a lazy and simplistic approach on the part of others.

  65. GingerlyColors 1 Nov 2012, 6:45am

    That guy seems to be in self-denial about his sexuality. He obviously is still gay if he wishes to marry another man. The truth is that you cannot make a gay man straight. Bisexuals may decide between deciding whether or not they wish to settle down with someone of the same sex for the rest of their lives but if you are gay, you got to accept what you are and you should not succumb to social pressure to ‘conform’.

  66. Why are you capitalising the word ‘gay’?

  67. Two Words

    “ATTENTION SEEKING”….

    and of course we are giving it to him…. poor thing ..lol

  68. I suspect that Chris Morris and his partner have studiously read through everyone of the above comments and added two negatives to every comment that has pointed to the article’s glaring deficiencies.

  69. My fella and I call people like Chris ‘fraggles’.

  70. burningworm 1 Nov 2012, 4:40pm

    This piece reads of selective memory and sensory dysphasia.

    Who selects these comments?

  71. burningworm 1 Nov 2012, 4:59pm

    If only he knew how he is being used to puppeteer that ole hat.

  72. I have had sex with both, and am stuck in a marriage, but dream of men all of the time, and want to have an intimate relationship with them, I have at least 5 I think about all of the time and my body responds to them when I think about them,
    does this make me gay or does it make me bi?
    I thought there was something wrong with me, but in the mean time until I get the courage, I will continue to use my male inflate a mate, I do want to go them them and tell them how I feel and also get some hot sex in, I am getting good at oral
    I will keep you posted

    1. Hmm. Are you being serious. Or are you just having us on? (Seriously.)

  73. So a hetero man saying “I’m not straight anymore – but I’m going to marry a woman” would work! Complete nut job. Pal, loosen up. It’s fine to be gay. In fact, it’s great to be gay. Stop overanalysing it and get on with life. And drop the “choose” to be gay bit. Do people “choose” to be straight? You do more damage to the community for such crass comments. Talk about giving religious nuts ammunition. Life coach…….get a life!

  74. This article has appeared in The Guardian, but examine The Guardian version closely and you find it’s been tweaked, cleaned up, and sanitised in places! No mention of the Life-Coach thing either!

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/nov/02/gay-marry-man

    1. Danny Dan Dan Dan 5 Nov 2012, 1:33pm

      “The Beautiful Chas” works for The Guardian, so no surprises there. Anyway, Chris Morris isn’t a Life Coach – he has “conversations”. Hardly an original idea, it’s the title of a book by Richard Bandler, the same man who provided Chris with the whole “namaste” thing that he preaches on his website. Chris doesn’t think of himself as a devotee of Bandler though, despite the NLP scene, as Chris has been long known to be derisory about Bandler, NLP and NLP acolytes in general, because Chris is above all that. He’s far too Christ-Like to show respect for his teachers and keeps himself turning tables.

      Curiously, Richard Bandler’s former no.2 in command, Gabriel Guerrero even refers to Morris affectionately as “The Chosen One” on his facebook pages.

  75. Has anyone actually read this article? Maybe I’m wrong but to me he’s not writing about choosing his orientation but the label (and all that brings with it) of being ‘gay’.

    I’m gay but I don’t feel like I fit into the whole ‘gay’ thing at all anymore. I’m just a bloke who loves blokes. Boy, do I love men but I don’t do the scene or listen to the music. Gay just doesn’t sum me up. Sometimes, calling myself gay is like calling myself a mod or rocker. It’s a gang I don’t feel I belong to. Thing is, the label seems forced on me (and I’m not going to go around calling myself homosexual!). That gay mask Morris talks about in the article, I know that feeling. So many times when I’m out (in ‘straight’ bars), women get talking and when they hear ‘gay’ they expect me to start camping it up and flapping about that gaga lady or something. I hate it!

    Also, if we (straight, gay AND bi) were all seen as just people that love not by who we love then there would be no homophobia.

    1. Jesus Mohammed 2 Nov 2012, 8:57pm

      Charlie, I’m like you, I don’t follow popular gay fashion, as dictated by the gay magazines and other media. My interests centre around cultivating a beautiful garden, the countryside, and literature. However, I am GAY. I am that kind of GAY man and I’m not going to hoodwink myself, like the writer of this article, into thinking that I am not.

      I have also to tell you that IN SPITE of my not following gay fashions, or being camp, I know that well over 50% of the neighbours who smile at me are homophobic. One of my neighbours is a lesbian. She never DARES to speak to our neighbours of her partner. She knows that they require her to speak only of her “friend”.

      1. Sam D. Maloney 5 Nov 2012, 6:06pm

        To both Charlie and Jesus: I’m a middle aged cattle rancher, horse breeder, skier, biker, hiker and car enthusiast. I don’t fit the gay stereotypes, but I’m still proudly out and unafraid, unashamed to call myself gay.
        Some of my friends are marvelously flaming and I cherish and celebrate them for it, but most gay men would be pretty hard to pick out of a line up.
        Live your sexuality proudly, and please don’t reject the word gay. Just be an example to your still closeted acquaintances that they can be honest about their orientation without subscribing to the media created stereotypes.

  76. Life coach? Pah. I wouldn’t even want a conversation with this very confused and attention-seeking git.

    1. Pete Botherer 4 Nov 2012, 5:08pm

      The very same man who lowered the age of consent for homosexuals, script writer for peter mandelson and profiteer from teenage gay pornography….. Isn’t gay.

      Buaaaaahahahahanahaaa!

  77. Stephen Reynolds 4 Nov 2012, 5:35pm

    This is the same person that worked with Peter Mandelson and was caught running gay websites? Also presents himself as a psychologist, life coach?
    Also Dizzy Thinks uncovered the Mandelson connection http://dizzythinks.net/2009/08/first-secretary-of-state-and-photos.html

    1. Stephen, thanks a lot for this! Amazing!

      Chris Morris + gay porn website + Peter Mandelson
      Proof of them all being closely linked!

      And the little fabricator declared he’s not gay!

      Sickening.

      He clearly loves notoriety and attention.

      Thanks for posting the link!

  78. Danny Dan Dan Dan 5 Nov 2012, 8:30am

    “I think shame is at the root of our current financial crisis and all the problems in our country.”

    So this explains why Chris Morris Ltd and NLP Connections Ltd never filed accounts and taxes? Chris Morris Ltd is motioned for “striking off” and “NLP Connections Ltd” never filed any paperwork despite trading.

    And this from a name dropping little twat desperate for attention who claims all sorts of affiliationss with the famous and powerful.

    One can only wonder what those judges at the European Court of Human Rights would make of this little runt now.

    And there is of course the “beautiful Chas” who fabricates his own book reviews on Amazon (as revealed by Private Eye – google it)

    And the gay porn sites.

    This is a nasty little man getting rich off the whole gay thing whilst pretending to be “deep” and spiritual.

    I have no surprise that he sees shame everywhere he looks.

    It is called “projection”.

    1. Paul Stokes 5 Nov 2012, 11:41am

      I thought like many at first that this was “The Chris Morris” and was a wonderful satirical spoof. Unfortunately it’s actually meant as a serious article!

      One poster points out the Mandelson connection and the rather strange personal development movement called NLP which originates in the USA but seems big in London.

      A quick search online suggests that Morris claims to be a hypnotist, magician, psychotherapist, life coach, political activist even fabricating a host of credentials in an attempt to attract customers, see http://web.archive.org/web/20070807002751/http://www.chrismorris.com/

      As many have indicated the article is from a very confused mind and someone who is clearly attention seeking. Helen described this article best as

      ” a deliberately controversial, muddled stream of consciousness which is designed to make the author look ‘interesting’ and boundary-pushing. The result is a pretentious pile of sh*te with worrying undertones. “

      1. Danny Dan Dan Dan 5 Nov 2012, 6:45pm

        He sure likes to name drop, here’s quite a list from his old website: With my background originally in journalism and political speechwriting […] I became fascinated by the structure of language and linguistics; how words could be used to influence people. My boss at the time sent me to learn from Paul McKenna. Paul was famous for his hypnosis shows on television but the idea was that I’d learn from him how to use hypnotic language to become a better writer. As it turned out, I enjoyed learning about hypnosis so much, I quit my job in Westminster and Paul trained me to become a hypnotherapist […] I began assisting Paul at his weight loss events in London and seeing the results gave me a real buzz […]

        1. Danny Dan Dan Dan 5 Nov 2012, 6:47pm

          […] NLP is another of Richard’s creations (together with Dr John Grinder). I’m licensed as a master practitioner, advanced specialist and trainer. Together with Richard Bandler and John Grinder, some of my other teachers include: John LaValle (president of the Society of NLP), Eric Robbie, Robert Dilts, Owen Fitzpatrick, Michael Neill, Carmen Bostic St Clair, Gabriel Guerrero, Stever Robbins, Kate Benson, Mark Hayley, Michael Carroll, Mark Tyrell, Jill Wooten, Donald Robertson, Jonathan Altfeld, Susanna Bellini and Doug O’Brien.

          To broaden my knowledge, I have also studied many related fields, including Provocative Therapy (with its creator, Frank Farrelly), Self Relations Psychotherapy (with its creator, Dr Stephen Gilligan), basic neurology, art and music therapies, sports and performance coaching, counselling, meditation, Native American and Mexican shamanic traditions, Reiki, energy balancing, alpha states and Chinese acupressure. I continue to train and explore new ideas[…]

    2. It seems there is probably a legal action to keep this in play – http://wck2.companieshouse.gov.uk/35c39a8b8e0491cc9525a0bf8ae191be/wcprodorder?ft=1

      and to have a suspended status.

      NLP Connections seems to be under scrutiny as well

  79. Danny Dan Dan Dan 5 Nov 2012, 1:53pm

    Some classic Chris Morris quotes:

    On Richard Bandler and NLP Master Trainers: “When I decided to stop training with Richard, back last Spring, was when I saw the new generation of master trainers in action at the Amsterdam training. Master trainers? They each did about ten minutes and most were very poor. It was embarrassing. If those are the best of the best – the cream of the field – then it doesn’t say much for Richard’s teaching. So with that in mind, and other things too of course, I decided there wasn’t much to hang around for.”

    On Richard Bandler (The NLP ‘God’): “I think Richard’s approach to changework is rather paternal and patronising.”

    On the Home Secretary: “The Home Secretary is being more paranoid than any stoner I’ve known. And more irresponsible too.”

  80. Danny Dan Dan Dan 5 Nov 2012, 1:56pm

    More Chris Morris quotes:
    On Jonathan Altfeld (NLP Trainer): “The problem with Jonathan is all the huffing and the puffing. He’s desperate to be seen as one of the top trainers. His posts are dense with 1st/2nd-order presuppositions that are meant to make you think he’s really good and successful and influential, and if those presuppositions are ever challenged – even indirectly – then he goes nuclear.”

    On John Lavalle (President of The Society of NLP) “I was disillusioned on my first master prac course. John La Valle was doing his usual schtick about “brain juice” and frankly I thought it was a rip off to charge people hundreds of pounds per day to learn about neurology (neuro linguistic programming) and then pitch it at a level that would patronise an eight year old.”

    More on Richard Bandler –”He knows the game he’s playing these days, and it’s a clever game – for him. He doesn’t have many clever students though, have you noticed?”

  81. Sam D. Maloney 5 Nov 2012, 5:57pm

    I am deeply skeptical of men who have sex with men but reject the label ‘gay’.

    Let me quickly add that I do think sexuality is a spectrum, and that most of people are capable of functioning sexually with a partners of either genders under the right circumstances, so I mean no disrespect to bisexuals.

    But this author isn’t make a case for ‘bi’, he’s asserting that he’s not really gay, despite being in love with a man who is also his life partner and [presumably] lover.

    To me, it sounds as though he still has some internalized self hatred if he’s making this big a deal over the label ‘gay’.

  82. Chris Morris – “I didn’t read many comments on The Guardian, but I did read all the e-mails I got yesterday, seeing how each person’s perspective makes sense and is true from that perspective. I also saw reflections of a wider truth in the messages and I learnt a lot from exploring the stories people told me. Even when one guy said I was an idiot and should kill myself, I thought there was such elegance in that. Our constructed personalities do block the flow of intelligence, and I find my personality evaporates whenever I’m present to here and now. I’m almost always trying to kill that constructed self. That’s my meditation. That’s my life. He knew me so well!”

    I think we have discovered a new level of delusion. Attention seeking self publicist, sociapath

  83. The Chris Morris article is full of very confused thinking which as many have pointed out is very odd. Chris Morris self-declared coach and now “meditation teacher” seems to be reinventing himself on a weekly basis. He is constantly revising his web page and making all manner of proclamations about himself as a coach, an “NLP” person, a hypnotist, a therapist, a political adviser, a political activist, a life trainer, a happiness coach, the list is endless. The kid seems at best very insecure and at worst really manipulative and quite spiteful as has been revealed in his comments about others. On the one hand he proclaims love and happiness and on the other hand he is described by many who have encountered him as “a nasty piece of work” My information is that his original name is not actually Chris Morris and I would be interested in any clarification whether this too is an adopted name along with so many other adopted identities which seek to dictate how others ‘should” behave

  84. (kind of a reflection on how messed up life can get) you cant choose who you fall in love with, you cant choose a feeling, you can only choose your behaviors with respect to a feeling…..

  85. Interesting perspective.! It sounds as if Chris Morris has made the transcendence into living his life for himself, and not on behalf of others opinions and their perspectives. It’s not about everyone else! There should never be a mask, or the wearing of an identity. That immediately makes it about everyone else.

    It’s the experience. In the end that’s all we have.

    1. Stephen Reynolds 10 Nov 2012, 11:48am

      Sounds like the same old publicity, attention seeking Morris that will latch onto anything and anyone for self promotion. Just look at the number of people posting here that see through the facade he presents.

  86. Chrissy Egg 11 Nov 2012, 12:41am

    I got as far as ” chose to be gay ” and knew he was a dickhead. the end .

    1. Stephen Reynolds 11 Nov 2012, 9:22am

      The problem is not that he’s a dickhead (that’s a given) but how he portrays the gay community and tries to position himself as a spokesperson, but only when it suits him. In recent years he tried to present himself as a political activist, then joined the American self help NLP group to court attention, after falling out with them he has returned to his gay agenda while also presenting himself as a life coach (no formal qualifications needed for that) and meditation teacher! He rewrote his Wikipedia entry to remove all NLP references and still ducks the questions posed in relation to Mandelson and his gay porn sites which came to light here http://dizzythinks.net/2009/08/first-secretary-of-state-and-photos.html

  87. It is not condradictory,in my opinion.
    What Chris Morris means,I think,is that he considers himself to be,above all,a Person who refuses to be labeled as gay or bisexual or anything else at all.

  88. Stephen Reynolds 15 Nov 2012, 1:16pm

    What do you make of all this

    Group Coaching

    An exclusive coaching program with Chris Morris and Katie Abbott.

    This is a unique opportunity to work with two coaches and experience the power of transformative group work. We’re very excited to offer this program for up to four people.

    You’ll benefit from personal coaching as well as your connection with the whole group. Group work can be extremely powerful. People often find it wonderfully freeing, healing old problems as well as opening up to new possibilities in a supportive and intimate environment.

    We want to bring together people who are ready to experience greater peace of mind and feel what it’s like to be really present to those around them.

    Creating the space for miracles to happen.

    While forming a deeper connection with your own wisdom, you can expect uniquely personal insights. It’s about slowing down the chatter and clearing away the clutter; then the elusive obvious is revealed with beautiful clarity, and life shifts.

  89. Stephen Reynolds 18 Nov 2012, 9:51pm

    If you have a spare 180 quid for a 7 hour conversation that “doesn’t go anywhere” then Chris Morris life coach will happily take your money which will flow from your to his bank account. Are people really this stupid?

    “Katie Abbott and I will be hosting another group exploration on Saturday 24th November.

    It will be an opportunity to step away from the model of self-improvement and the notion that there is anywhere to get to.

    It will be opportunity to pause, reflect and explore more of who you are.

    ** Saturday 24th November, 10am – 5pm. £180.

    Every experience of life is varied. Our experience is always changing from one moment to the next.

    So let’s explore how our vision of ourselves and the world is open to evolution.

    Katie and I will share from our hearts and invite you to go with the flow”

    1. We have a lot of this kind of activity in the US, often people who have failed careers set themselves up as “life coaches” It’s a bit tragic

  90. Drew Merritt 26 Nov 2012, 3:19pm

    You have no idea how much damage this will do to young gay, and in my case has.

    My bf is/was 17. I am 19. He has been a regular church attender with a strong faith. He believed the church was wrong about Gayness being a choice, and that his god loved him.

    This article has convinced him that the church was actually right. He has told me I am and will always be his closest friend but he has decided to not be gay any longer and so there can never be anything physical between us again.

    He has been torn apart over his sexuality but I have NO doubt that he IS gay and was born that way and will always be gay. All this article has done is to make him deny what he is and that is going to cause him to stress badly and maybe even suffer from depression, and just before his A level exams when he has a provisional place at Oxford!!!!

    This so called Life Coach has destroyed his life now, ruined mine, and the article is going to have the same effect on may many other young gays.

  91. I gave up reading the comments. It seems I am the odd one out because I didn’t read the same article! Or at least the words in it conveyed something completely different to me. he didn’t once say that he chose his sexuality but that he chose the label ‘gay’ That is really a very different thing and his comments about shame seem born out by these hateful comments.

  92. i’m pretty sure this guy has some kind of personality disorder

  93. The fact that the author of this article is in practice as a life coach is nothing short of scandalous. It is very easy to forget, and yet is so obvious also, that people such as life coaches and therapists have a great deal of power over their clients. So often, people who seek out therapy are extremely vulnerable and raw on so many levels. They are also giving their hard earned money, sometimes taken from savings. A person’s sexuality is so fragile and precious, and a person seeking a therapist/life coach for the purposes of coming to terms with their sexuality, and also paying for that, deserves the very best in terms of affirmation, acceptance and nurturing, to name but a few. The author cannot offer any of those things, acting and speaking as he is from his own deluded views. The sheer lack of integrity and compassion is deeply upsetting and nothing short of abusive.

  94. Jason Brown 4 Mar 2013, 3:58pm

    He sounds batshit insane.

  95. For me, the issue Chris is discussing has to do with the fact that ones desires are a different thing from ones identity. Being a homosexual or a heterosexual as an identity is a fairly recent social invention. Before that, one was either a man or a woman, and who we slept with didn’t affect that identity at all. That said, I’m not sure it’s possible in the world today to forgo having a sexual identity. This is why I came out as gay myself. If I have to call myself something, then gay is the closest fit for me.

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