Famous gay bar in Los Angeles bans bachelorette parties until marriage becomes equal

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  1. D.McCabe  25 May 2012, 10:04pm  Report
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    OK, one small matter, as this news site is a UK based site, shouldn’t you be referring to it as hen parties, after all that is what we call them here! Rant over.

    I am glad that the bar is willing to take such a stand, after all hen parties can spend big in venues. Let’s hope that their actions will make a difference in the fight for equality.

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    1. I think we should call them hen parties over here (US) too. It describes the situation to a tee. And you’re right about the spending if their drunkenness is any indication. They also seem to take over venues like an entitlement. Lots of groping and “you just need the right woman” type of talk. Ugh!!

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    2. Robert in S. Kensington  25 May 2012, 11:33pm  Report
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      As they say, action speaks louder than words! About time our own started drawing a line in the sand for a change! I wholly support the venue’s stand.

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  2. Well done for making a stand.

    Sometimes I find hen parties in gay bars frustrating partly because they are rubbing salt in the wound of them being about to do something I am prohibited from doing and partly because some of the drunk girls get a little harrassing (usually in good jest and its fun, but sometimes its very annoying!)

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  3. Good. It really is the height of rudeness to bring a hen party to a gay bar – do they enjoy rubbing everyone’s nose in it

    “Hey, guys, come party with me! I’m celebrating the wonderful thing YOU CAN’T HAVE!!!”

    Does they go to health spas and eat chocolate cake as well?

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  4. Shake Spear  25 May 2012, 10:33pm  Report
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    Why not? Straights suspended our ‘privileges’ a very long time ago.

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    1. Robert in S. Kensington  25 May 2012, 11:32pm  Report
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      Exactly right! I’m also tired of hearing straight women say “what a waste” when they find out a man happens ot be gay, good looking and very “hot”!

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      1. With the attitude of if that person was straight they would definitely be interested in me, lol. I seen it so many times its like they need to take a look at themself and ask why they are single – they spend too long chasing what they can’t have and refuse the guys that want to be with them.

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    1. duty of care anyone? His repeated attempts at conversion therapy are making the problem of depression worse which is why hes originally there – perhaps its all basic greed push them to the brink of suicide so they keep coming to see you and giving you money?

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  5. Hater of Douple Standards  26 May 2012, 2:08am  Report
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    Yay so it’s OK to ban people because we feel we live in a an unjust society and need to get even? So if a bar bans gay wedding showers because they don’t want them there that would be A-OK, right? Oh and before anyone comes up with the whine ‘but the man has been talking stuff away from us for a long time’ which is true but you shouldn’t punish children for the acts of their father. This is just petty and if it was reversed there would be so much crying discrimination. And finally this is illegal since you can’t discriminate based on gender. Guess if you really cared about PEOPLE’S rights you would know that.

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    1. Look up the word INEQUALITY in a dictionary, then come back to this website

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    2. Robert in S. Kensington  26 May 2012, 12:16pm  Report
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      Well, here in the UK you CAN discriminate against gender when you consider we don’t yet have equal marriage, you know, marrying someone of the same gender. Did that not occur to you?

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    3. Jock S. Trap  26 May 2012, 1:10pm  Report
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      Yeah I have douple standards too!! lol

      You say all that but isn’t the discrimination there already in that they can party to celebrate in venues where the clientele can’t?!

      I’m happy to share a venue that promotes marriage but at least let it be equal enough to promote it in the first place.

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  6. radical53  26 May 2012, 3:59am  Report
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    This has been a problem for you in Canal Street, Manchester for a long time.

    Are you going to follow suit. Recommended.

    But also remember you want inclusion and acceptance, so you have to accept the behaviour of straights in gay venues.

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    1. I’m sorry, but if I’m enjoying myself out with the bois at a gay establishment, I don’t have to accept the behavior of straights if they’re being obnoxious and demeaning. Do you honestly think that if I and my bois went to a straight establishment and made lewd comments to the straight clientele, started feeling some up, or told them that “all they need is the right man”, that we wouldn’t be banned (and probably set precedence for the banning of future gay parties), not to mention getting our heinies kicked?
      If some girls want to come into a gay bar, have a few cocktails, dance a little dance, engage in some conversation, then I’d be more than welcoming. It’s the almost universal douchiness of these hen parties that I object to.

      I don’t want to beg pretty please for inclusion and acceptance from the straights “I’ll be a good gay, just let me have some scraps from the table, please Mr/Mrs Straight person”, since they don’t own it. It belongs to all of us. We just need to realize that.

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    2. Jock S. Trap  26 May 2012, 1:18pm  Report
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      Sorry radical53 but that rubbish.

      In most straight venues we cannot hold hands with out partner or cuddle or kiss without problems arising. Trouble is when a number of straight people particularly men (not all, I have a few straight friends who enjoy a drink without discriminating) go to Gay bars they get threatened by seeing us be ourselves and still expect us to act like we something to be ashamed of.

      How many of us have heard the comment in a bar from women who fancy us “Oh what a waste!”? Just because of who we are. It may be a joke but it is still offensive.

      What this bar is doing is correct… why should we have rubbed in our faces the one thing we cannot do because a group of girls think we’re cool and fun to be around?

      Wouldn’t it be nicer that with equality bars and venue can have such parties for all who wish to have them? I think so.

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    3. @radical53 — how do you know ?

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  7. I’m going to make myself unpopular here but I think hen parties are the wrong target. I am sure these groups can be a pain in the a*se but I don’t think it is a good idea to politicise this. If straight groups want to celebrate in Gay establishments, good for them. Many are probably keen supporters of equal rights. These “flaunting it in our faces” comments are sulky and absurd. Let’s not start alienating our friends.

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    1. I thought the explanation that The Abbey gave was this was not about stigmatising potential customers,, regardless of orientation.

      This was about evidencing that there is inequality and they are protecting their core customers from having their noses rubbed in this inequality (even though that is probably not the intention of most hen parties it is a side effect of them celebrating in gay bars!).

      If straight groups who wish to celebrate in a gay bar are genuinely supportive, then they will understand the stance that comes from campaigning against inequality and they will support it.

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  8. What on earth is a bachelorette party? never heard of this term. Sounds a made-up word – Can Pink News start a translation service?

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    1. Robert in S. Kensington  26 May 2012, 12:18pm  Report
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      It’s an American term apparently, describing single women some of whom are about to be married.

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    2. A bachelorette party is simply a party, given in honor of the bride-to-be by her friends. Traditionally a rather sedate affair but in more recent years emulating the groom’s “bachelor party”. You all know the bit…strippers, getting drunk, perhaps one last meaningless sexual encounter, etc. Supposedly a way of saying good bye to being single.

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  9. Batmanz  26 May 2012, 2:26pm  Report
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    Vigilant security is the key.

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  10. Inspector General  26 May 2012, 4:52pm  Report
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    What’s this ? Gays discriminating against people because of their sexual orientation towards heterosexuality. And yet, when it happens the other way round…

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    1. Look at why it is being done. The Abbey is doing it to highlight the enequality that LGBT people have had to suffer for decades because of legislation.

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    2. Interesting how the Inspector will not stand against discrimination of LGBT people, in fact tacitly encourages it – but when he perceives discrimination against heterosexuals (in what is a protest to protect LGBT people) then he throws his teddy out of the pram. He can handle dsicriminating against others but finds it unfair when this is done to his club. Hypocrite!

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  11. It seems dramatic to have attached the prohibition against gay marriage as the reason for a gay bar to ban bachelorette parties. Was the owner looking for publicity? His announcement creates a pathetic view of gay people. As if we exist only in relation to what heterosexual society does. I’m against large groups of straight people in gay bars because of the impracticality of it. Gay bars will always be needed, regardless of gay marriage or not. When I’ve read similar stories to this one, the responders always sound like they’re saying that gay bars are a consequence of lack of equal rights (for gays). I love our gay subculture, the good and the bad. We should celebrate what we have and not always sound like victims when we’re speaking publicly. This “grand announcement” comes off as petty. It wasn’t necessary to take a stand on gay marriage in order to establish order in your gay bar.

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  12. This is fantastic news. I wish all gay venues would take the same stance!

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  13. I welcome the decision of this bar. I wish gaybars in the UK did the same.

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