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Comment: Do alternative parenting arrangements work?

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  1. Robert in S. Kensington 29 Mar 2012, 3:27pm

    No doubt, more fodder for the C4M rabble.

    1. My putative father was gay ! To be honest I think a child’s best interests are served by the mother and the mother alone !

  2. alright pinknews, get responsible with the headline. Here’s your golden opportunity to put forward that healthy interaction is the key to good familial relationships regardless of gender (which seems to me to be common sense), and you went for entertaining the argument against it by giving a choice?

    1. Spanner1960 29 Mar 2012, 3:55pm

      Hmm. The thing is, I for one couldn’t answer that question either way, and I doubt many others for or against could either.

      I don’t know about the stats and ‘alternative’ families are a relatively new concept so nobody really knows the long-term outcome of such situations.

      1. Well *I* can very simply. It’s just like any relationship; you have to work for it. As I’d said before: healthy interaction is the key. Do “alternate” parenting arrangements work? With healthy interaction, yes. Without it, no. Just like non-“alternate” parenting arrangements. Gender of the parents doesn’t enter into it, but their interaction with each other does.

        1. Spanner1960 29 Mar 2012, 6:20pm

          “Gender of the parents doesn’t enter into it, but their interaction with each other does.”

          Sorry to play Devil’s advocate here, but how do you know?
          Give it 50 years when those kids are into multiple generations, then, I hope, it will be safe enough to say that you are right; but right now the jury is still out on this one. Maybe kids *do* need mixed parenting, maybe they don’t – only time will tell.

          1. Common sense.

  3. The case of the lesbian couple and the custody dispute they have with the father of their child is not a reflection on whether alternative family arrangements work.

    it is simply a reflection on the utter stupidity of trying to make a contract to cover human emotions.

    That lesbian couple should have sought an anonymous sperm donor from a sperm bank if they wanted a child and did not want the biological father involved,.

    They asked their male friend to donate sperm, then once the child was born and he developed feelings for his child, the mothers tried to cut him out.

    They are idiots,

    Anonymous sperm donation would have prevented this very preventable problem.

    BUt they lacked the foresight to realise that you cannot legislate for human emotions.

    1. Only probelm here now is that a child conceived through an annonymous sperm donation is now able to track their donor father! I belive the law changed just a few years ago.

      I do agree with your points though!

  4. “I can honestly say that none of the clients we have advised at the planning stage has ever come back for legal representation later. Equally, not one of the clients we have represented in disputes took legal advice at the outset.”

    I think this sums it up.

    The article gives excellent advice about how to prepare for a coparenting set-up. It’s crazy to think that some people don’t really think it through, but then I am sure there are loads more straight couples becoming parents where it is not thought through (or even thought of) at all. With coparenting there has to be some planning and with three or four parents there is more time and money to be contributed to the child’s upbringing.

  5. article only explore one option of gay parenting, where sperm donor is involved. the situation in this kind of scenario where there are more then 2 people involved in child’s live is not exclusively unique to gay parenting, many divorced families are in similar situation. sperm/egg donor or surrogacy are not the only options available to potential gay parents.

  6. There are so many single parent families struggling out there, it’s refreshing to learn that there are those with three parents to share the responsibility and give even more love to the child.

    Of corse, this is not new to straight families either, as divorce and remarriage can often result in having four parental figures.

  7. I know a lesbian couple with kids 18 & 14, and they’re a perfectly balanced family – whatever that really is the means to the end can vary wildly and still end up excellent.

    I think they key problem with this case is that they chose not to use an anonymous donor. In which case I think you’re asking for trouble because chances are they’ll become attached.

  8. Do we call single mothers an “alternative families” or situations where one parent has died and a child is being brought up with the help of Grandparents? A family is a family, gender is irrelevant. I know a lesbian couple with two wonderful children and a single gay dad with three happy boys. Also a “perfect family” with a kid permanently on the edge of suicide. All that matters is that the child feels safe and loved.

  9. johnny33308 29 Mar 2012, 5:54pm

    Sorry, but the gay man involved in this is terribly wrong for many reasons, but the fact that he proceeded with legal action shows that he is completely selfish and does not care about the fallout for Our People, only about HIS wants. It is likely that this sort of thing directly harms our struggle for equality for all LGBTIQ people. His actions appear to be entirely selfish as it is “HIS” child, even though he AGREED to only be a sperm donor. Beware using friends as sperm donors is the lesson he has taught ALL of us….to our detriment, sadly…..

    1. Spanner1960 29 Mar 2012, 6:24pm

      “Our” people?
      Get real. Gay men are the most selfish breed on the planet. They sure as hell weren’t doing this for the so-called ‘LGBT community’ – whatever the hell that is.

      It is man’s prime directive to spread his seed as wide and far as possible – the fact he is gay doesn’t really come into it, as I am sure many gay men would want kids if the right opportunity arose. It is an underlying primal force, and no law in the land is going to prevent it.

  10. A little more tolerance and less selfishness on the part of all the adults involved just might resolve the issue – that, and the fact that the child’s interests must be paramount at all times.

  11. This video covers the breast feeding dilemma that occurred at Target in a quite humorous manner, but offers some good insight – how that’s an issue, but fat, hairy men walking around shirtless is not? Worth a watch for sure.

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