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Blogger’s son, 7, ‘comes out’

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  1. That is the youngest I have ever heard anyone come out. It could young mistake and the boy might not be gay, but either way, it sounds like he has loving and supportive parents which is all that matters!

    1. Even if he’s not later in life, it’s still not a mistake. All he’s saying is that right now, he fancies boys. Just like some of the girls in his class, who might like some actor or pop star, and no one thinks anything of it.

      1. It’s not just gay kids that ‘come out’ surely? We’re only shocked by this because it’s a gay kid but there are loads of kids out there who develop crushes on TV characters and express it. Straight or gay, it’s still sexuality. Some people just get pissy about it because it’s not the ‘normal’ sexuality.

        1. Mr. Ripley's Asscrack 17 Feb 2012, 5:35pm

          I’m not shocked, speak for yourself! ;-)

    2. I came out quite early, to my friends atleast. I didn’t realise what being gay was, I assume its probably the same for this boy.

  2. I knew I was gay from as young as that. Always wanted to play “daddies and daddies” in the playground instead of “mummies and daddies”. And indeed experienced sexual attraction to people of the same gender. Doesn’t apply to everyone and we shouldn’t pressure a child to express or suppress who they are. But if this child knows who he is at this age then so be it!

  3. I knew at 7.

    1. Larry Reynolds 17 Feb 2012, 3:07pm

      I also knew at 7, and that was in 1959.

      1. I also knew at 7 and began having sex at 8 with my friend who was the same age!

        1. I also knew when I was 7. I remember the TV stars I fancied back then.

          1. Jock S. Trap 19 Feb 2012, 8:58am

            Same here!

  4. my lesbian friend came out when she was 8 saying she doesn’t like boys but it seems like hes getting the idea that hes gay from glee so id just wait afew years to truly see if he is….

    i knew i was different at like 8-9 but i didnt know the name of what i was…long story that goes along with me LOL…

  5. Although I didn’t know the term for it, I felt attracted to both men and women (well, boys and girls) at the age of 7. Some will know at that age, some will never be sure.

    Quizzing children on their sexual identity doesn’t sound like a good idea; we never asked people, “Do you like people of the opposite gender?” when they were kids, either.

  6. I suppose I “knew” at 11, but before that I had no attraction to anyone in that way. My first attractions were to men. It is on this basis that I find the ECHR’s suggestion quite reasonable. As the blogger says though, the idea of children having a sexual orientation makes people uncomfortable, and I’m quite understanding of that. It doesn’t make it less true though that children do have sexual desires at a younger age than we as a society are prepared to allow them, and as the ECHR point out by the time they reach an age “we” deem acceptable, the damage has been done.

    It’s a no brainer to me that children be allowed to express themselves verbally, with parents/guardians or approved medical officials only of course, and be talked to in an approved (and healthy) fashion about these issues, rather than the current system we have which is to lie and preserve false innocence. It only leads to feelings of disappointment, suppression, embarrassment and so forth 5-7 years down the line.

    1. Hindsight truly is 20-20. Looking back, I didn’t know I was gay, just that I never grew out of hanging with the guys. By high school, girls were more of an alien race, something I had nothing in common. By 16, I could tune-up a car, change the brake shoes and pads, cook fairly well, and sew my own clothes (from patterns). Today I am still very well-rounded; Quantum theories, dog trainer, relationship councelor, Mac computer tech, instructor, website designer, retail manager. And poor. I never could find my niche in life. “Jack of all trades, master of none” I suppose… sigh! Apple was an awesome blend of my skills and interests until the “Family Values” store manager refused to move me to full-time, advancing many college kids without any Mac customer service skills and experience above me (all legal avenues resulted in silence). Now, I can’t get an Apple job anywhere… blackballed? Welcome to my world. If you need someone intelligent, creative and diverse, I’m open to all offers.

      1. Spanner1960 18 Feb 2012, 8:53am

        “By 16, I could tune-up a car, change the brake shoes and pads…”
        Sounds like you are str8 to me. Never mind. ;)

        1. Sounds ike she’s a lesbian girl to me. 0_o
          Anyways, I don’t think that personality and ability has anything to do with sexuality (although, many stereotypes eems to find so).

  7. So glad that he has loving and supportive parents. I didn’t know my sexual orientation as early as that, but I did know that I liked the Beano and not Twinkle, and I liked playing the sort of games that were supposed to be the preserve of boys.

    I discovered my sexual orientation when I was 11 or 12.

  8. When I cast my mind back to my last years at infant school and first year of primary school (age 6-7) I knew that I was more interested in the same sex than the opposite sex – even though at that age there wasn’t really any hormones to drive behaviour. It might well be that in this case the boy just has a crush on a TV character. It might be that he has recognised that he is gay. Either way, it sounds like his family are supportive and love him for who he is – and that, really, is what matters to a child whether they are gay, straight, bi, trans, intersex, asexual, or any other I’ve missed off the list.

  9. I remember a childhood friend and I walking up to my mum hand in hand asking her if two guys could get married, “because if so, we would”(!) This must have been in 1979-1980 when we were about 6 years old. She, quite liberally for the time, said we couldn’t get married, but we could live together when we grew up.
    I turned out gay (always known I was), he is married with children (to a woman) and, I am quite sure, is straight.
    Cute story about her 7 year old son, but it doesn’t have to mean anything more than society (the educated/informed at least) becoming more tolerant, depicting gay people/relationships more positively which young people and kids can consider whilst trying to find themselves.

    1. What makes you think he is straight when he could just as easily be bi and happily married to a woman?

  10. Well my mum said I was more of a girly tomboy than a manly boy when I was a kid so I do not doubt that someone so young can identify with a sexuality. Am so glad he has parents like mine who just accepts him for who he is and tells him that. Hope there is not too much fall out for them and blaming of media for forcing him to think this as I wish there was more positive gay role models on tv when I was a kid, would of made things more understandable for me

  11. I knew I felt a bit different at a young age but I didn’t understand or even think much about what that difference was. I didn’t really know about gay people and children growing up today do know about gay people and see examples of gay couples around them so they will be more clued up and able to recognise those feelings in themselves. I think that most poeple aren’t really sure of their sexuality until they go through puberty though as you don’t have genuine adult sexual feelings until your body starts producing the hormones that drive those feelings. I think the important thing to do if a child says they are gay is to be supportive and not to tell them that they aren’t. If that then changes be supportive of that decision again but don’t tell a child to think what you think they should be thinking or that their feelings or opinions are invalid.

    1. adults tend to forget how aware kids can be, they think them as these bundles of energy that have little to no awareness. They tend to be very aware and just do not have the udnerstanding of what it is they are aware of, like the way children can pick up on tension between parents who decide to stay to together for the childrens sake.

  12. At least two 6-yr old boys on BBC children’s TV series have claimed they have feelings for a girl or girls.

    1. In this clip 6 yr old Little Howard visits an expert, who explains to him about girls:-

  13. Adam Thomas 17 Feb 2012, 3:44pm

    Well I didn’t “Know” at 7. I probably didn’t understand the concept of sexual orientation. What I did know though was that I wasn’t interested in girls, only boys. I knew this was different to the norm but I just thought that it was no big deal – totally innocent. I didn’t even stop to consider the situation. I just thought what I thought, and that was that. It only becomes a problem when you realise that you really are different, and become self-concious of it.

  14. Well like a lot of others on here I knew I was different long before I had words to describe it, the play yard in 1st year secondary school did that…in a negative way. I heard ‘queer’ and ‘fruit’ and decided to get very very hidden about my desires. So I opened myself to abuse just to experience sex with older guys. I was a father to a wonderful son who is now 27yo, and I was 28yo before I faced the truth. I also involved his mumin a farce of a relationship just to hide my sexuality…SHE came out to ME just a few years after we split up….Ta Da!! Our son however is str8…very str8…lol! Go Figure!

  15. Believe it or not, looking back, I have consistently had exclusively same sex attraction ever since I was 4.. and I know I wasn’t the only one too……..

    But I thought nothing of it until I first learnt the word ‘gay’ at 10.

    At 12-13 I began to think ‘hang on… these feelings mean that I’M gay!!!!’… (but at the time I decided I didn’t need the grief of thinking about it at that time)

    1. Suddenly Last Bummer 17 Feb 2012, 4:23pm

      Peter S is quite hot! That is all.

      1. Agreed

  16. Suddenly Last Bummer 17 Feb 2012, 4:22pm

    If the blogger didn’t have her son plonked in front of ‘Glee’ would he be as quick to identify as gay?

    1. If a mother didn’t have her son plonked in front of Baywatch would he be as quick to identify as straight?

    2. I think it is great to have a nice normal positive gay rolemodel to balance the stereo typical ones and the highly sexualised straight ones

    3. Mr. Ripley's Asscrack 17 Feb 2012, 5:57pm

      If you’d bothered to read any of the comments here, you’d have realised that most gay people knew they were gay from an early age. Ain’t nobody gonna stop being gay cause you think they should be straight, womble.

    4. Spanner1960 18 Feb 2012, 8:56am

      No, he probably wouldn’t have, so all thanks to a show that demonstrates people we can associate with. When I was a kid all we had was John Inman and Larry Grayson, and I thought “I’m not like them, so I can’t be gay.” and it was years before I figured it out.

      1. Dave North 18 Feb 2012, 8:32pm

        That pair were the reason I stayed IN the closet until I was 24.

        Dick Emery and all the other 70’s cliched crap were not exactly positive role models.

        Even now I cringe when I see them on old videos.

        Christ, even Fawlty Towers has a lot of negative references to gay people.

  17. I developed a non-sexual crush on Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman at the age of six. After that, I became obsessed with the “principal boy” (a woman) at a panto that my parents took me too. I have always been drawn to women, never to men. It is something that I never had a word for and could not have expressed to anyone. And I realised – in a world where heterosexuality is everywhere – that I was different. And I lived with that difference and came to terms with it alone. It might have been easier to have someone I could talk to (in fairness, I have no idea what my folks would have done if I had said anything). So many people get hung up with the sex act, that they cannot accept or recognise that many LGBT people knew from a VERY young age, and that what we felt wasn’t about sex. It was about a connection.

  18. Jeff Gladu 17 Feb 2012, 4:30pm

    I knew in Kindergarten that I liked boys. When we played house on the playground, I told the other kids that when I grew up I would be the mommy in my house. In first grade I had my first “crush”; ran home from school and told my Mom that “When I grow up I’m going to marry Greg!”. Crushed on him all through grade school. I thought everyone was similar to me until fifth grade, when all of a sudden all the other boys stopped saying that girls had cooties. I knew they still did! I was pretty much out starting in Seventh Grade. There was some bullying; the usual sissy and fairy comments in Seventh and Eighth Grades. High school is where the real problems started. I was egged, teased, pushed around, urinated on, called names, etc. but I was able to see that other kids were getting harassed for their own issues also. So I claimed my favorite Bible Passage, Philippians 4:4-7 & 13 and carried on in peace! Once in college, everything was fine, and I have lived “My Life” ever since.

  19. It’s nice for him to feel comfortable. But I think he’s to young to start putting himself in a box. He may like girls later, he may not, he might like both.

    I wish him all the best and praise his parents.

  20. I have 3 brothers and new from the age of 4 or 5 that I was different from them but it was much later when I able to put a name to that difference and identify as gay.

    1. ‘knew’ even!

  21. Mr. Ripley's Asscrack 17 Feb 2012, 5:50pm

    Sorry to join in on the whole I was young when I knew I was gay, but I was way young when I knew I was gay (5ish). I didn’t have the luxury of the g-word then though! So I’m not shocked or surprised at all by this article.

    I’m more shocked at Amelia’s definition of gay being “when boys want to marry boys and girls want to marry girls, we call that “gay” – phew, I’m not gay after all! Joking aside, I wish my parents were more like Amelia. But then you don’t miss what you didn’t have. Ho hum.

  22. 26! Oh well – better late than never…

    Looking back I can remember things from when I was young – up to the age of about 7 actually – that pointed to my being gay.

    Dressing up in Mum’s clothes, noticing in the mirror the way I stood was different to other boys etc.

    Unfortunately then the campaign started from my parents, and I was unable to identify who I was until my mid 20s…

    1. Glad I’m not the only one who didn’t figure it out until their mid-twenties!

    2. Spanner1960 18 Feb 2012, 8:58am

      Well I didn’t work it out until I was 31. Takes all kinds I guess.

  23. I knew was gay when I was 8. I had to wait 13 years more before I felt comfortable enough to tell my parents. Isn’t this normal? It was for me. Well done Amelia for being such a great parent.

  24. In my schooL at that age there would have been a commotion if a boy played with girls in the playground or vice versa. We were expected to be in gender seperated peer groups – with gender seperated games. What I thought about boys or girls wasn’t an issue. Nobody asked. I never had any inclination to play in the Wendy House, so no alarm bells rang about me. Nobody worried that I might be ‘different’.

  25. Just adding to the general chorus here. I knew when I was seven that I was ‘different’, but I didn’t know I was gay because I had no idea what gay was.
    And just as boringly, I’m with everyone else here who’s commending the parents on being open-minded and supportive.
    Thinking about it, I have no idea why I’ve bothered commenting if I’m just going to agree with everyone and not call anyone a scumbag. Will my Pink News membership be revoked?

    1. Adding your voice is important, I’m glad you did. Thank you.

  26. “But here’s the thing: straight children have nothing to announce. Straight is the assumption.”

    And this is something people who poo poo adults who come out need to remember! Not a truer word spoken.

    As for the suprise…although I had no word or complete understanding I knew I was different from other kids from about 8 or 9. When I think back on my childhood, even at that tender age, if I’d known the word gay and understood it’s meaning, I would have identified myself as gay.

  27. I wonder if there’s a bit of early puberty or transgender issues going on here… but I don’t worry – the child in question seems to have really awesome parents :) Only time will tell what’s happening, and they’re doing things just right :)

  28. This is proof that God makes gay to be born on earth everyday. Mothers and fathers know their children are gay and would be smart to let them be gay and not “try to change” them using the Christians pray the gay away mixed with psychiatry which has been proven to do more harm to a gay child if done.

    1. Spanner1960 18 Feb 2012, 9:01am

      It is not “proof”.
      I appreciate your comments on preventing religionists imposing their dogma on children, but equally you assume that some deity put us all here in the first place which is damaged thinking.

    2. Jock S. Trap 18 Feb 2012, 1:57pm

      Exactly. Yet these people who believe in God sure go against God’s creation. Thought questioning God was a sin… still what do I know? Well I know it’s bigotted people that do all the harm and most of them do it in the name of religion.

  29. I am skeptical that you can be fully aware of your sexual orientation at 7. Normally this can be felt during puberty, and I think 7 is a little early for that.

    1. Having a crush at an early age and being able to express it is healthy, even if that changes as you reach puberty or later in life. You were obviously not a sexually aware 7 year old, that’s fine. I on the other was not only extremely aware of my attraction to boys at 7, I was also VERY sexually active too. Oddly as I reach my late 40s I often find myself thinking it would be nice to find the right woman to settle down and retire with, go figure.

  30. My kitten is 8 months old, she’s just come into her first season. She rolls around and keeps presenting herself to us, it’s perfectly natural…

    Humans come into their first season usually around the age of 9, just because we don’t allow children to ‘mate’ at that age doesn’t mean it’s un-natural… I see no reason why we should question a 7 year old about who they’re attracted to… I knew at 8 myself when I fancied my primary school teacher!

  31. I think I realized in the last year of junior school around 11. Although before that I did used to do wonder woman impersonations and charlies angels impersonations….. It just sort of dawned on me at 11 …..

  32. Jock S. Trap 18 Feb 2012, 1:54pm

    I never who I was at 7. Kinda always did. It was only bigotted people who told me I was wrong and should change. Why though? What has my live got to do with them? Nothing thats what, just like everyones.

    1. Jock S. Trap 18 Feb 2012, 1:55pm

      Correction that should have read I alway knew who I was…

  33. In retrospect, I know that from a very early age, perhaps as early as 6, I knew that I was attracted to other boys in a way that was different from my friendships with girls. However, I did not have a word for those feelings. Either this child is unusually precocious or the national conversations we have had about equality has percolated through the culture in such a way that even the young are aware of such terms and their meanings. As John said, the important thing is that this child has supportive parents regardless of what his actual sexual orientation turns out to be.

  34. Münchausen syndrome by proxy (MSbP or MBP) is a label for a pattern of behavior in which a caregiver deliberately exaggerates, fabricates, and/or induces physical, psychological, behavioral, and/or mental health problems in those who are in their care.[1] With deception at its core, this behavior is an elusive, potentially lethal, and frequently misunderstood form of child abuse[2] or medical neglect[3] that has been difficult to define, detect and confirm.

    1. James Pittman 19 Feb 2012, 2:55am

      Well done for copying and pasting the characteristics of Münchausen syndrome by proxy. Since you clearly got it from another website I take it you’re not a psychiatrist or have any expertise in that field. Also, what on earth does it have to with the article?

      1. Keith - not the nutter one 19 Feb 2012, 4:07pm

        sweet fanny adams is what it has to do with it. probably some spambot copying stuff from wikipedia. jim the javascript.

  35. I always knew that I was different, wanting to play doctor with the boys and not the girls. Didn’t understand it back then, not until going to church and you hear that what you are and how you feel is wrong and your going to hell. Then you realize what it is and how society views you. You learn quickly how to hide it all to survive. I’m sure this boy if he is gay has just learned at an early age what the name for it is and he is comfortable enough to express that to his parents. I wish him and his family the best of happiness and live.

  36. I too knew the score from as far back as I remember – before seven – btw – not sure if I like the “turn into” a gay adult. Do people “turn into” heterosexuals?

  37. Münchausen syndrome by proxy is a label for a pattern of behavior in which a caregiver deliberately exaggerates, fabricates, and/or induces physical, psychological, behavioral, and/or mental health problems in those who are in their care.[1] With deception at its core, this behavior is an elusive, potentially lethal, and frequently misunderstood form of child abuse[2] or medical neglect[3] that has been difficult to define, detect and confirm.
    The mom needs help as she is using her child to promote an agenda for huffington post,of which she blogs for, of which censors every legitimate counterpoint I have posted that displays the mom in a negative manner and promotes child abuse IMO.of a 7yo watching adult material that he mimics.

  38. GingerlyColors 19 Feb 2012, 2:23am

    Children of that age are still years off puberty and therefore do not express sexual feelings. It is normal for boys to like boys things like climbing trees, playing football and dismiss girls and girlie things as ‘sissy’. Anybody who read the Beano back in the 1970’s and 1980’s will remember Dennis The Menace not wanting to be around girls because he saw them as ‘soppy’ but that didn’t necessarily make him gay. On the other hand Walter the softie played with dolls but he enjoyed the company of girls. I see children as assexual and that they are entitled to their childhood innocence end enjoy life with no strings attatched before entering puberty and discovering the delights of the opposite, or in our case the same sex and the hassles of adult life.

    1. James Pittman 19 Feb 2012, 3:09am

      I wasn’t asexual at that age and my feelings towards my same sex peers didn’t feel like strings. There is certainly no conclusive evidence of your claims, and plenty of evidence against them; just read the comments above. I think it is understandably an awkward subject for some people, the idea that children may have sexual feelings. You’re right, children shouldn’t be forced in either direction but rather discover it on their own. But it seems by the why the mother described the situation, this child discovered it on their own.

      1. Jock S. Trap 19 Feb 2012, 11:35am

        Totally Agree James. GingerlyColors is an opinion and right so but one of those opinion who’d rather not think about the facts.

        1. Jock S. Trap 19 Feb 2012, 11:39am

          It’s that attitude that causes problems coz clearly people don’t want the ackwardness of talking about the fact that a lot of children do know but are slammed with silence.

          1. GingerlyColors 19 Feb 2012, 7:23pm

            Okay, children no doubt do have some sexual feelings before puberty but when those hormones start to run riot as they reach their teens then sexual interests will go into overdrive. As for my ‘no strings attatched’ comment I believe that children should enjoy their early years without having the world’s problems on their shoulders. Children have a right to uncondtional love from their parents, education, healthcare and life without poverty. We should not be social engineering our children in order to conform with our lifestyles. Someone tried to do that with children in Germany back in the 1930’s. Some children will grow up to be gay, most won’t and it has been happening since life evolved on Earth and will continue to happen millions of years after we are gone.

  39. James Pittman 19 Feb 2012, 2:33am

    It’s good to know he has supportive parents who accept his feelings which are perfectly natural to him at this time. I first described myself as gay when I was 10, but I was attracted to a boy in my class when I was younger than 10. I hope people realise that there may be very young children who believe they are gay and at the same time may be exposed to anti gay remarks from their peers. It’s good the mother told her son that those people are wrong. But the education system should tackle this issue as well…

  40. All these cute stories of you guys already knowing you were gay or lesbian at such young ages and I get a little ashamed to admit that I am 24 years old now and discovered I am bisexual only last last year and transgender only last year having being mostly asexual my whole life. Well, better late than more late (since never is not an option, I would end up discovering these sometime).

  41. I’m a Transfemale and I knew when I was 5 years old. So this really doesn’t come as a surprise.

  42. He has supportive parents and just needs unpressured space to decide what he feels and whom he is attracted to as he matures, and it looks like he’ll get it. lucky boy. Most of us don’t.

  43. Bill Nicholl 19 Feb 2012, 1:20pm

    My son at 3 knew that he was transgender lesbian but never knew what to call himself until he was 13/14. I do believe that most kids know their sexuality at an early age but need to learn about the different sexualities so they can say what their real sexuality is.

  44. Keith - not the nutter one 19 Feb 2012, 4:11pm

    Well to add my 2 pence when I was 12 I knew I was gay AND wanted to drive trains – now that’s what I do.

  45. I didn’t personally know until I was about 14. I was bullied when I was younger so I didn’t really hang out with anyone, kind of makes it hard to tell who you prefered being with!

  46. I knew I was gay when I was 6 years old so I am not surprised by this at all.

  47. More and more gays join the dating site→ stdster.,.c0m to look for partner.

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  49. Looking back I see I had indicating behaviour and thoughts from this age but i wasnt able to identify it, maybe in this newer world it’s better acknowledged so children that age can understand it, but then maybe she is right in saying he might think it now but realise he was wrong later? I mean we all felt close to same sex friends at that age. I’m just happy for him to have such a loving mother ! The way she ends with “and im so proud” is touching !

  50. this is WRONG ! htf can a 7 yr old know his/her sexuality ???? NO WAY !

    1. If you read the comments a lot of people knew there sexuality at that age, you wouldn’t say it was wrong if he/she had said they had a crush on someone of the opposite sex so why is it a problem they have a crush on someone of the same sex?

  51. Our 8 year old boy has told us he is straight. he has know since he was 6 when he got his first crush on a girl. And I can tell you his two mums are very proud of him! He has a healthy respect for everyone and even at his age knows that a relationship is about love and respect not just attraction. As his parents we talk about everything, at an age appropriate level, and most importantly listen to him as well. Its a great family when the child is comfortable enough to share that.

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