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Cynthia Nixon: My bisexuality was not a choice, my gay relationship is

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  1. Finally a coherent statement Cynthia Nixon.

    Her comments about her sexualorientation and the ‘choice’ she had was very poorly articulated and gave ammunition to homophobic bigots who like to pretend that we choose our orientation.

    I know that Cynthia Nixon is not a bigot and that she means well,

    But through her damaging and absurd statements last week she proved beyond all doubt the reason she is an actor and not a writer.

    I’d suggest she remember that in future as well.

    1. Father Ted 31 Jan 2012, 5:00pm

      It occurs to me that maybe some of the bigots are closet bisexuals, so that’s maybe why they think it is a choice…

  2. Who wrote that for her? I’m pleased she cleared it up.

    1. Her PR people of course.

      Her initial statements were off the cuff and hence they were so damaging. The further she tried to clarifty the more offensive they became.

      I think her PR person stepped in to try to minimise the damage she’d done.

  3. And yet the damage is done, as those who seek to vilify us, condemn us, send us away to be “re-educated” don’t read retractions or listen to common sense. Good grief, we STILL get Anne bloody Heche waved at us to prove their point.

    1. so should we lie about ourselves? or fear going into detail because somebody else will missinterprate it? i dont think so, its ‘i am what i am’ not ‘i am what they say i am’.

      1. Yes but this person said ‘I choose to be gay’ which is a barefaced lie.

        She is a bisexual woman who rather than acknowledge that fact pretended that she was now gay as a result of a personal choice she made.

        She was bisexual when she was in a straight relationship. She is bisexual now that she is in a lesbian relationship.

        There was never a choice in her sexual orientation, and she was being remarkably foolish by pretending there was.

        She needs to stop commenting on these issues now. She clearly lacks the skill to be a spokeswoman for these issues.

        1. Father Ted 31 Jan 2012, 5:05pm

          She’s an actor, it should start and end there. George Clooney is the only actor who should speak publicly about anything that requires a brain to be engaged. And Sir Ian of course.

      2. But Nixon had already said she was bisexual in an article with The Daily Beast in which she made it clear that she didn’t like to call herself bi because bi people are “dumped on” (apparently without noticing that her action was not exactly flattering to bisexual men and women, and should outrage them too).

    2. Doesn’t matter if they don’t read retractions, all we have to be able to do is when they say its a choice Cynthia Nixon said so, we can just point out she clarified herself afterwards and there argument is dead in the water.

  4. Another brainless bimbo (a.k.a actress) heard from!

  5. ohh a ball well dodged Ms Nixon…but lets face it…can you read/feel a genuine desire to clarify the situation or a PR EXERCISE known as damage limitation??

  6. i feel sorry for her. she has stated that it is her experience from the get go, and she has been very vocal about the fact that for many people this is not the case. the fault is with those that refused to read into the details that she made more than clear.

    great work has been done in the name of gay rights, its the people who suggest that being gay is a choice for everybody that we wanna point our finger at. if they use cynthia nixon as an example then shame on them not her.

    1. Yes it is her experience.

      But she made the bold statement ‘I used to be straight but then I CHOSE to be gay’.

      That is simply not possible.

      And the assistance she gave to the homophobic bigots through her ludicrously asinine comments could not be ignored.

      She made a series of incredibly harmful and foolish comments. BUt at least she had the sense to hire a PR company to minimise the damage she had (unwttingly) caused.

    2. she stated that it was her experience… despite it patently NOT being her experience.

      No matter how she worded her original statement, as long as she denied that she was bisexual, her statement was a lie. At no point was she heterosexual and “decided” to become gay.

      THAT is the issue with her comment. And at no point is it factually “her experience” either.

      She was always bisexual. She admitted it. The only “choice” she made was to choose to be with a woman (whom she was sexually attracted to) instead of a man (to whom she was also sexually attracted). That does not a “choice of sexual attraction” make.

      1. Agreed, Mikey and dAVID. When I read Cynthia’s original comment I was astounded. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she was simply making a statement of commitment and love to her current partner, but I can’t understand how it didn’t occur to her that her words might be damaging. And that’s being kind. She said so much that it’s hard to believe it was all just a misunderstanding.

        Now she’s just confirmed what many people were saying at the time – that she’s bisexual and thus only ‘choosing’ within her orientation. So yeah, like we said…. Still at least she’s issued this clarification and it’s clear and relatively quick.

  7. Can we have some news that isn’t about this woman?!
    After 3 statements she finally got it right, hurrah!
    Now onto something/someone that actually matters…

  8. Gay people often make the same sort of confusion when they say things like “homosexuality used to be illegal” when homosexuality was never illegal though homosexual acts were. People use language carelessly.

    1. You make a very fair point, however from the view of the law homosexuality was only considered acts, There was no thought given to loving relationships, it was seen primarily as a mental health issue. You could go as far to say theat the 1967 sexual offences act was passed not so much for liberal social reasons, but so that homosexuals could be ‘treated’ without fear of prosecution.

  9. Well this is far more clear than her last statement. She can’t “choose to be gay” because she is not gay! Being gay means being sexually/romantically attracted to ONLY the same sex. She she is not gay because she is still attracted to both sexes, whether she acts on the opposite sex attractions or not.

    She is not choosing to be gay, she is bisexual who is choosing to have only pursue gay relationships. There’s a big difference!

    1. AlterPride Project 1 Feb 2012, 5:33pm

      If that is the case then how does the fight for “gay marriage” apply to a bisexual person?

      1. Simple. It’s a fight for ‘same-sex’ or ‘any gender’ marriage… or as I like to call it: “marriage”

  10. I still think she is out of order for what she has said, and has done damage to our community. She could have easily made a better use of words. She might not be a bigot, but she sure should not be a spokesperson.

  11. Father Ted 31 Jan 2012, 5:07pm

    It’s all over the Daily Hail of course.

  12. I’m not going to congratulate Nixon for this statement – although I do think it brings clarity (at last) to her views.

    Yes, she made off the cuff comments which were potential dynamite for those who seek to damage LGBT people and LGBT rights …. that they were off the cuff is not really the point … She made those comments and its right she should clarify her views …

    Some have sought to excuse her on the grounds she is “only an actress” … I would personally view her with more culpability for being in the public view (she should be more aware of media manipulation and cautious over use of words ….) …

  13. many bisexual people in same sex relationships ‘choose’ to describe themselves as gay. maybe this is what she was trying to explain. although i think she caused lots of confusion and has to be more careful because she’s in media etc.

    1. Traveller23 6 Feb 2012, 1:03am

      Totally agree with the first part of your comment. I’m a guy and I’m bisexual. But if I happened to be dating a guy, it’d be much easier to just tell/let people assume I’m gay rather than go through an explanation of how I’m bi etc. etc. since it can get really confusing for some people especially if they’re not LGBT themselves.

  14. This entire episode shows that although there are minorities of exclusive homosexuals and heterosexuals, perhaps the majority of individuals are bisexuals, an orientation that rarely makes the headlines, and that is confusing.

    1. I would imagine that in the interests of survival that the majority of individuals are heterosexual.

      But you’re free to speculate.

    2. @Jonpol

      I have to disagree

      I can not see how this episode gives any indiciation as to the prevalence of any orientation …

      All it shows is careless use of language by Nixon and the debate that ensued in connection to it …

      No one made any estimation of how widespread homosexuality, heterosexuality, bisexuality or asexuality were …

  15. The staggering bigotry that has been displayed by these readers comments are the most insulting to me rather than the comments made by Cynthia Nixon. Notice that almost every single comment that has been made on these boards are by ‘pure’ homosexuals, or gay people, shall we put it, rather than by bisexual people. I absoluetly agree with her to define her relationship as gay if she so wishes, and her sexuality as gay. The amount of times that I say I am gay rather than bisexual is not worth counting. In fact I call myself gay, not for the purposes of ensuring that straight people understand that I have a different sexuality rather than being completely straight, but I call myself gay rather than bisexual because as Nixon has said, ‘We get dumped on’, most often by the gay community. It’s completely true. Every time I say I am bi, the usual response from people in the gay community is a derogatory remark, implying that somehow I am unwilling to say I am gay because I am scared.

    1. Ultimately it is a question of semantics and always was. When cynthia nixon said that she was gay, she was saying it because she is in a gay relationship. As a bi person, the fact that she meant it was completely clear. To be honest why can there only be one response or understanding of what it means to be gay/bi. Personally my sexuality does not feel like it can be encapsulated by any term, either gay/bi/straight. To be subject to the autocracy of language here and anytime is what we should be fighting against. The way in which everyone is expecting only one way of thinking about being gay/bi, is the same way that many straight people are blinkered into thinking that everyone actually should think like them also. You are all as close minded as the worst dictatorial bigoted straight person who cannot accept the validity of other people’s views/feelings and try and make people apologise for their means of expression. Shame on all of you!!!

      1. I love being gay, I love being bi, and i feel I can own both those terms. I am not straight and I think that is what cynthia nixon was trying in her roundabout way to talk about. Somehow everyone is so closeted in their way of thinking here. Also I think it is pure hypocrisy that we as a gay community hope that straight people are partially gay, like in kinsey’s tests about how some people are 30% gay, 70% straight etc…, and say sexuality is fluid, but then at the same time demand that their homosexuality is completely exclusive, discrete and in and of itself. That they cannot be even slightly thought of as having an iota of heterosexuality within them. It is galling that the same autocratic methods of thinking and feeling are used by sections of our gay community, sorry, LGBT community, as many die-hard heterosexuals. Seriously, open your eyes and taste the rainbow. And Cynthia Nixon has probably done a whole load more for making homosexuality acceptable than any of you.

        1. But she wasn’t saying that. What YOU said makes perfect sense and it’s what many other people said on previous threads, but Cynthia implied that her sexual orientation NOT her choice of partners was a choice. THAT was what people were annoyed about.

          Clearly she can describe herself as bisexual or refer to her relationships with the same sex as gay relationships and the ones with the opposite sex as straight relationships – absolutely no problem. But she was most definitely suggesting that her orientation was something she CHOSE. Whether she did that because she didn’t speak clearly or because she actually meant something else, who knows. But I don’t understand why you’re angry at people’s responses here as Cynthia’s words were, at best, confusing.

          She obviously realised that and clarified what she meant:

          “I believe bisexuality is not a choice, it is a fact. What I have ‘chosen’ is to be in a gay relationship.”

          That’s what people were saying here so now we’re all clear.

        2. I’m sorry that you’ve met with gay people thinking autocratically, and I do get shocked sometimes at the biphobia from a small number of people here, but most people I’ve met are understanding of bisexuality, and certainly I’ve found gay people are more understanding than straight people in general.

          1. I must credit both you and Iris for your replies. It is just that reading so many prejorative remarks regarding Nixon created such a cumulative expression of disregard and admonishment which in my mind was utterly undeserved. It is so easy for us to not tolerate other people’s remarks and be disparaging all the time on sites like these, which I consider to be a shame. I agree most with Katy B and jonpol who have stated quite calmly the situation here. But I still adhere to my position that her use of the word ‘homosexuality’ in her original marks was used both to express her sexuality (homosexuality being encompassing of bisexuality here) and sexual relationship choice (which is incidentally homosexual), and that while confusing, it was clear to me, and the level of people’s anger and disgust for her conflating these two terms is utterly unmerited, unjustified, and undignified.

          2. And credit to you for putting your argument across calmly and in detail. I agree that courteous debate is best – and most useful too. It’d be boring if we all agreed, but we can disagree politely :)

          3. @bi-as

            I hear what you say, and I can begin to appreciate (not fully) the sense that it may well make in some peoples situations …

            I can’t help but come back to the point that you are describing someone who is attracted to both sexes (thus – by definition – bisexual) as gay (which is – by definitiion – attracted to only the same sex) … a bisexual person is not gay, they may have sexual encounters which could legitimately be described as gay – but it does not mean their orientation is gay …

            I would prefer a society where sexuality is fluid and accepted for whatever it is (provided consensual etc) … but there are situations where terminology to describe ones attractions etc are useful …

        3. A bi person who describes themselves as gay has no right to whine about the fact that bisexual people are allegedly ‘invisible’. You are part of the problem of invisibility.

          A bi person who whines about biphobia but then refuses to challenge biphobia is a coward and a hypocrite.

          Cynthia Nixon made some shockingly biphobic comments as well as massively irresponsible and stupid comments about her ‘choice’ to be gay (even though she’s not).

          But that does not alter the fact that her statement ‘I used to be straight but then I chose to be gay’ is staggerlngly irresponsible.

          I really don’t understand the point you are trying to make.

          Do you also agree that bi people in straight relationships who remain in the closet and identify publicly as straight are biphobic.

          What percentage of bi folk are in the closet about being bi while in straight relationships I wonder.

          Because these people are practically invisible, despite the fact that they have the power to challenge biphobia?

          1. I am not a coward and hypocrite when I fundamentally disagree with the belief that I should not have to consign myself to a strict definition and label in the first place.

            While her statement was incredibly irresponsible to those in the gay community, her comments may not have necessarily been so irresponsibly interpreted by those in the bi community. It is clear the gay community only see the use of the words straight and gay as being with regards sexual attraction and not with regards sexual behaviour as well, when clearly it encapsulates both and can have both contexts. The word gay and straight can be applied to not only sexual orientation, but sexual behaviour as well as sexual identity. Now when I am defending Nixon, it is because I understood that she was referring to sexual behaviour.

            You do not understand the point that I am making because the same as many bigoted people you are only thinking in terms of absolutes. the world is a far more complicated contextual place.

          2. My right to whine is not predicated on the fact that if I am or am not being invisible. Complaining about prejudice is allowed under any circumstance surely. I deserve to complain about prejudice whatever the circumstance surely?

          3. Apparently though I have been admonished unless I think in terms of being bi and cannot be open about my understanding of sexuality. Please tell me exactly what is the proper way in terms of strict definition that I am supposed to identify myself and express my self determination. I am glad that my way of expressing myself can only be considered wrong unless in a fixed gay/straight/bi category. But I am glad that you are the man to tell me how I should approach this issue and place me on the right path.

            To be honest I consider myself as less of a coward and hypocrite than yourself since I am actually standing up for my viewpoint, and also not being hypocritical in thinking that people can only think in strict terms. I thought that the beauty of the LGBT movement was in its way of thinking ‘alter’natively. Not just about thinking in the same old paradigms. Well it is being let down by such autocratic ways of thinking.

        4. Traveller23 6 Feb 2012, 1:12am

          @ bi-as, dunno if you’ll get to read this, but you’re my new hero :)

  16. I know some people feel she didn’t need to clarify anything. But people look to those like herself and they’ll be many confused by her original statement.

    And for pities sake..What is this thing about not being labeled? Straight people are straight, Gay/lesbian are gay and bi is bisexual. It denotes our sexuality! If we don’t except who we are, as straight people have, how can we expect others to except us! I am gay/lesbian and I am proud of who I am. I was born this way, this is who I am. I get frustrated by people who say they don’t want to be labeled gay or bisexual then promptly call themselves Pan-sexual or Omnisexual and it’s just another damned word for bisexual!

    1. People can define themselves however they want as far as I’m concerned.

      My (and most people’s) issue was that she said being gay was a choice, which it is not.

      And the main reason that’s so damaging is that the stupid religious right define their bigotry in those terms.

      I feel a bit sorry for her to be honest, she just said something off the cuff without realising the implications, and she (or her PR person) has cleared it up now…

      1. her being gay is a choice, if you consider the fact that ‘gay’ as a word is interchangeable for ‘bisexuality’. People should have been more willing and open to understand exactly what she meant. The limited fashion in which her words were interpreted. It is the same way in which sex and gender can always be conflated. Here sexuality and Sexual partnership were conflated, which was also confused when homosexuality and bisexuality were used interchangeably. The fact is, these ideas are always confused and used interchangeably when we speak. We should recognise that and not disparage Nixon for doing something we all do ourselves.

        1. Fair enough – I agree it’s a lot about semantics / a slip of the tongue / interpretation / whatever.

          The frustrating thing is that the bigots focus on the semantics so much, because they have no reasonable argument so have to resort to tactics like that.

          But she clarified it now (in their narrow terms), which is good.

          If she hadn’t you can bet your bottom dollar those idiots (like Margaret Court) would have quoted it ad nauseum. And even if 100 other gay celebrities had said “ok, but my sexual orientation isn’t a choice” it wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference.

          Because they are dumb losers.

    2. PumpkinPie 1 Feb 2012, 2:51am

      I, for one, wish my fellow bisexuals were more fond of “labelling” themselves. If you’re attracted to people of either gender, you’re bisexual. End of story. It’s not an oppressive label, it’s just something that is literally true. As in, that’s what that word actually means. So, if it fits you, wear it with pride. If you insist on being called pansexual, why not treat it as a sub-category of bisexuality? Gay guys who like twinks or bears still consider themselves gay and not “twinksexual” or “bearsexual”, after all.

      I might be sounding like a bit of a grump here, but the reason I take such an interest in how other bisexuals choose to define themselves is because we have virtually no community. There’s so many of us, and yet we have so little presence. As someone who values community, I feel that, maybe if people stopped worrying about being “oppressed” by labels and stopped trying to run away from them, then maybe we might actually have something.

      1. I would just like to clarify that in no way was I stating that I prefer on being known as pansexual. I consider it rather redundant when I am given any kind of label as to whether it describes that much of me, that is all. I know that in order to diminish power and dominant ideologies the structures of power have to first be found, and then named (Foucault), hence creating labels of straight, gay, bi etc…, but if these forms of labelling leave us in the grasp of the same understandings of power, then I choose to not recognise such labels unswervingly and absolutely. Labelling’?? We are not a product! Therefore I do not wish to enhance and systematically categorise myself into a label. It’s just all too convenient. I did not come out so that I left the label of ‘straight’ to enter another label of ‘bi’ or ‘gay’ for that matter. I am not omnisexual or pansexual.

        1. The point is just the fact that being so enslaved for our need to label our sexual proclivities into absolute categories makes us miss the point that we shouldn’t be fighting ourselves into categories in the first place. I might be a bit of an optimist but us being human and sharing that connection means we all deserve recognition and our own voice, and tolerance. We do not have to fit any ideology whether it is gay, straight, communist, class, racial etc…(Note I am referring to ideologies in terms of the gay movement, and not with reference to people’s orientation which is not an ideology but a reality.) The dominant gay ideology and discourse here having been that there is only one way of seeing Nixon’s comments as egregious and that we have to ensure that ‘gay’, ‘bisexual’ etc.. have fixed unswerving and shackling definitions which unless used properly will lead to people like NIxon being vilified.

          1. The fact of the matter is, we should be hoping to move beyond having to put ourselves into categories and labels in order to make the world around us more understandable and controllable. Citing Foucault once more, he noted that it has only been since the 17th century, there has been a fixation with sexuality creating a discourse around sexuality. It is this discourse that has created sexual minorities. Before that in Ancient Greece for example, there wer no such definitions of sexuality, and gay behaviour was not sanctioned. This would be a better world to live in, where it is more open and tolerant. I know that right now we still have a long way till we can ascertain our full rights and so terms such as gay and bisexuality must exist so we can stand up to be counted, but hopefully one day we will not have to take recourse into such words for our rights/feelings/sexual attraction to be validated. We all deserve better, but if I need to be labelled, label me bi, and have done with it.

          2. PumpkinPie 1 Feb 2012, 3:06pm

            I agree with you in spirit, regarding the idea of not boxing ourselves into narrow categories, but without some means of identification, sexual minorities would find it very hard to have any unity or community.

            Ancient Athens is, unfortunately, a good example of that. While it may have sounded idyllic, the reality is that homosexuality wasn’t treated with any sort of respect. The men may not have had hang-ups over who they were boinking, but that’s all it was. A powerful older man having a bit of fun on the side with a young lad, who would only acquiesce in exchange for favours. The idea of any sort of reciprocative, loving relationship was scoffed at, and any who embarked on one would be treated with disdain. Furthermore, being “penetrated” was not something to be proud of. A necessary evil for an ambitious youth, but pretty unthinkable and shameful for a grown man, because it was considered emasculating.

          3. PumpkinPie 1 Feb 2012, 3:06pm

            If we’re to be treated seriously, labels are a necessary evil. Just imagine your sexuality as something that can’t be hidden, such as race, and it won’t seem so unpalatable. And race isn’t always “black or white” (har-har), either. There’s so many mixed race people in this world, yet they still adopt somewhat inadequate labels for the sake of describing themselves.

            Also, I do actually think Cynthia Nixon’s being treated too harshly here. I get what she meant and have no issues with it. I just felt like going off on a tangent with my original post! And I was perhaps a little insensitive to pansexuals, too. I realise that it’s problematic for someone who rejects the gender binary to adopt a label that explicitly supports it, but we live in a world which is obssessed with that binary. I’d just be happier to hear people say “I’m what you might call bisexual, but I’m more accurately pansexual” than “I’m not bisexual, I’m pansexual”, that’s all.

      2. One of the problems I have with the term bisexual is that I don’t agree with the gender binary that implies. I’m attracted to people not their plumbing, but I personally don’t like the term pansexual either so I lable myself as queer.

        I also avoid using the term bisexual as there are so many misunderstandings over the term by both hetro & homo. There are so many negatives spoken about being bi from all walks of life. I’m also poly with both a female & a male partner. The amount of times I’m asked if its a ‘phase’ or when I’m going to choose between my two partners is insane! I’ve got to the point where I’m so sick of the negative questions that I avoid those conversations.

        Labeling myself a queer seems to cover off everything and doesn’t invite the gross questions or comments.

  17. Everybody has one and she can have hers but I know for a fact that God created me bisexual to be born on earth and to love one another, I am a gay Christian. However she is playing into the Christian propaganda that gay is as choice and that is a false statement and false propaganda supported by money paying gay hating Christians who use prayer and psychiatry to destroy LGBT people trying to make the straight and it does not work and has been proven to not work and also is a lie forwarded by the Christians for their own agenda. I know I was born gay and raised as a Christian and I am a member of the Christian church. I also happen to know that the Right Wing Christians are paying anti gay people to watch the internet for LGBT people to get information about who they are and where they are to be used against them, these Christians pretend to be gay to get your private information, etc. These Christians have also stalked me to see who I go on dates with and to try and convert us.

    1. ‘God’ created you bisexual did it?

      How nice for you.

      My parents had unprotected sex – that’s how I was created.

  18. brown fudge fingers 31 Jan 2012, 9:48pm

    My heterosexuality was a choice, an easy one since I never fancied blokes penises. I think I mad the right choice morally speaking.

    1. Yes I think you mad too.

      1. brown fudge fingers 31 Jan 2012, 10:49pm

        Thanks for the reply ‘Jphn’!

        1. Thanks for the drunken comment, Keith!

          No tantrum’s today then?

  19. A bi person who claims to be either gay or straight has no right to whine about biphobia, as these people are part of the problem of invisibility.

    I absolutely detest when people say ‘I don’t apply labels to myself’.

    FFS – the world applies labels to everyone and everything – black, white, gay straight, male, female, young old.

    These are descriptors. If you don’t like them then fine. But others use them and will continue to do so.

    Each and every bi person needs to come out as bi – and this means that they need to come out to the parents of their opposite sex partner as well.

    If bi people want to be fully accepted into society then they should all come out.

    Bi invisibility can only be addressed by bi people.

    It is beyond foolish to blame gays and lesbians for bi invisibility unless bi people are out en masse.

    1. partly agree with you but think you’re being a bit harsh and lacking in understanding. many bi people in long term opposite sex relationships may be isolated and not have any links with bi ‘community’. also its much easier to come out if you have or are looking for a same sex partner because then you can make reference to them as a way of coming out.

    2. AlterPride Project 1 Feb 2012, 5:47pm

      While your points are valid, it is not nearly as easy as this. With stigmas still at play and the continual sense of repression many bi people have been conditioned with a negative self-image of their sexuality. When words like “gay and lesbian” adorn so many LGBT campaigns, it is even more difficult to embrace your sexuality. When even the President himself singles out gay and lesbian service members without any mention of brave bisexual soldiers, it is even more discouraging. When “gay marriage” news blasts across every TV channel, you start to wonder whether your sexuality is really that worthless. And we won’t even go into all of the negative, dismissive stereotypes. It truly does get to a point where you start to not care any more, and unfortunately feel compelled to identify as simply gay or straight and be done with it.


      1. My own issue with how I choose to label myself does not mean that I cannot condemn biphobia. Such a belief would imply that a closeted gay man who is labelling himself as straight is not allowed to complain about homophobia because he is not standing up and being counted. Dear me. He has as much of a right as anyone else to whine about prejudice. We are not all perfect and many of us when we were in the closet, I am certain we complained about homophobia and biphobia, wishing that they did not exist, and we were more than fully allowed to do so.
        We are not only allowed to complain about homophobia or biphobia or transphobia if we ourselves are living a life full of virtue and honesty and advertising our label left right and centre. Complaining about injustice is not predicated on us acting in a way determined by you or any other person.

        1. And ALL bi people who know they are bi, need to come out if biphobia is to be addressed.

          And that means coming out to everyone – including the parents of your opposite-sex spouse.

          It’s not complicated. Bi people need to address biphobia. Gay and lesbian people can help. But it’s not our job to do it for you.

          1. So much for a collective LGBT spirit. I’m not asking for it to be your job, but that doesn’t mean either that unless we were to take up the job of tackling biphobia, that people are permitted to be biphobic until that time, gay people included.

      2. Agreed. Plus saying you are bisexual and having an opposite sex partner is an invitation to be ridiculed.

        1. This was in response to AlterPride

    3. I am openly bi-sexual. I am in a straight relationship. I have had a few long term relationships with men & women in my life. My husband is aware of my bi-sexuality. I am sure his family is too, as most of them are my friends on FB & I am listed as Bi. But realistically, it is no ones business but mine. Do your in-laws know what you prefer sexually? do your parents know what your spouse prefers in bed? NO..know why? it is none of their business. Bi-sexuals, I think a lot of times are ostracized in both gay & straight communities. The gays are disgusted with the idea that you are “too weak to be gay full time” or they think you are unwilling to sacrifice your pride to be happy. They forever see you as someone who gave up the dream & is living a lie. Then the straight community treats you like you are a prostitute. Touting bi’s as “easy” because they do move so freely between the sexes. Ultimately they MUST make a choice as to which lifestyle suits them better

  20. Ironic for someone famous for being in Sex and the City to say they don’t like labels…What would Carrie and Mr Manolo Blahnik THINK!
    Ok Flippant I know but bully for you Ms Nixon from your position of privilege and fame to announce that you don’t like labels, some people before you fought long & hard for those labels …some of us wear them with Pride and self respect. Try it sometime…you might like it

  21. Wow!! Her explanation was so dead on, and concise. Very well put and I do appreciate that she took time to do so and to clear up all the confusion. Also thank her for the plug for rights for all of us!!

  22. Very well put Cynthia!!

  23. People need to evolve. I’m sick of sugar coating my orientation by explaining that I “can’t help it”, as if, if it were a choice, of course I would chose to be heterosexual. Screw that. I don’t need to make excuses for who I am in order to make it more palatable for those that have a problem with it. I’m gay because I CHOSE to live my life according to what makes me happy. That should be all the information anyone needs.

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