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Cynthia Nixon: ‘My homosexuality is a choice’

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  1. maybe she can’t be denied but I don’t see how she’s claiming it’s choice either,

  2. She is evidently bisexual if she feels she is attracted to both men and women.
    It’s not about others defining her sexuality for her. If she was genuinely lesbian it would be a case of ‘going through the motions’ if she went with a man.
    ‘Choice’ implies you can turn same sex attraction on and off like a lightswitch, at will. Not my experience, or the experience of countless others.

    1. I was just about to say the same! It’s like you get those who’ll say they were ‘turned’ gay, no you are bi, simple as that, and hadn’t met the right person to show you you liked those of the same sex too!

    2. I entirely agree.

      If you are gay then you are attracted sexually only to the same sex, and thats how you are – its not a choice.

      If you are heterosexual then you are attracted sexually only to the opposite sex, and thats how you are – its not a choice.

      If you are bisexual then you are attracted sexually to both sexes, and thats how you are – its not a choice … now some bisexuals may be equally desiring of both sexes and some may have a stronger preference for one – but they are still bisexual regardless of where in the sexual spectrum they are …

  3. A bisexual choosing to be in a gay relationship is not the same thing as a gay person who has no choice.

    1. Well said!

  4. Why do people have trouble grasping the difference between identity and orientation?

    I’m grateful Ms Nixon lobbied for marriage equality in New York. And she’s not the only woman with bisexual attractions who has chosen to identify as gay.

    But if she has a “choice” about whether to assume a gay or straight identity, then her orientation (her innate attraction) is bisexual.

    She might ask herself why she never considered a possible bisexual identity – at least not in this interview.

    She might also take a minute to realise that by calling her gay identity a choice, she is reinforcing the dangerous myth that all lesbians can desire a man.

    Before embarrassing herself by speaking on this subject again, she should do a bit of reading.

    1. Well said!

    2. Exactly.

      Why would she say such a thing if not to attract attention?

      1. Exactly my thoughts too!

      2. Maybe to reassure herself and validate her previous relationships? Or maybe to reassure her fans? Who knows? But I don’t understand why she’s not considering that she may be bisexual.

    3. Cut this issue any way you want, plead your case before God for eternity…we changed the moral rules and not God.

      As a human this endangers western civilization as history bears testimony to.

      I respect your choice but do not flaunt it in my or my chilren’s face. And when you politically make it so, then we have a fight as deviancy in any form has proven a risk to society and our children.

  5. What an idiot. She’s not homosexual, she’s bisexual and made a choice.

    1. Dr Robin Guthrie 24 Jan 2012, 2:41pm


      As a self identified gay man, I could no more say I chose to be this way and I most definitely could not choose to be heterosexual.

      The very thought of women’s bits makes me want to barf….

      1. Spanner1960 24 Jan 2012, 3:25pm

        How misogynistic.
        Someone should put you on a cunnilingual reprogramming course. ;)

        1. Dr Robin Guthrie 24 Jan 2012, 3:28pm

          I will not enter into a master debate with you….:-)

    2. An obsessed Christian anti-gay troll with $hit for brains.

  6. I agree with Aravosis, one does not choose to be gay. If we had a choice to be gay, be ridiculed by others, beaten because we are different who on this planet would ‘choose’ to be gay. It’s a much harder life. Nixon is clearly bi-sexual and simply prefers woman.

    1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 2:55pm

      I’m sorry but why do you choose suffering over celebration? This is exactly what the ‘born that way’ argument engenders.

  7. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 2:54pm

    I’m sorry she’s perfectly right.

    people choose how they live their lifes, she chose to be with a man for years and then chose to be with a woman.

    we, as she argues, have allowed our sexuality to be defined by those who hate us and this has to stop.

    1. so you chose your sexuality? making the choice of being with man or woman does not make you gay. It makes you bi. I have never had sex with a woman in my life, since I’ve never had a desire. It’s been proven that it’s part of your DNA, not a matter of choice.

      1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 4:02pm

        I didn’t say that and I don’t see why you’re so eager to hand out definitions of other people’s sexuality without knowing them. I could just as easily say that you’re Heterosexual but just scared of women.

        ‘ It’s been proven that it’s part of your DNA’ so are strands of DNA that code for a tail but we don’t have tails.

        1. no but you have a coccyx, which is the remnants of a tails our ancestor had… learn your biology 101 please and stop embarrassing yourself.

          1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 4:30pm

            *sigh* we do not however grow a full tail that being my point.

            the genetic argument is far from proven as there have been no studies which show a 100% correlation between a series of genetic codes and sexuality.

    2. Dr Robin Guthrie 24 Jan 2012, 3:29pm


      If you are not sexually attracted to someone it is a no-brainer.

    3. @theotherone

      People who are bisexual are attracted to both sexes (whether or not they like that label)

      Nixon has clearly disclosed she has been attracted and involved (not for appearances sake or out of duress – but out of desire) with people of both sexes …

      She might not choose to identify by the label …

      But the definition is clear from what she describes … she is bisexual …

  8. Wow…what a narrow minded bitch.
    If she can choose to be gay then please choose to be straight again Cynthia so we don’t have to listen to your stupid opinions.

  9. Wow, has every one missed the point? Regardless if someone is pro-Gay, anti-Gay, bisexual, or can only do it with teddy bears…
    The thoughts or opinions of any group (much less, that of ONE person) has absolutely no bearing on the scientific facts.
    Take your Kardashian-addicted brains out of your southern port, and just move on. Her words have NO affect on an entire population. Geez, people, wake up! What scares me is that too many people care.

    1. Unfortunately politicians and religions ignore these “scientific facts” for their own opinions/religions/word of god etc so your statement means nothing.

      1. gaymenwithsense 24 Jan 2012, 3:27pm

        yeah, but they DO! somebody will quote her as an example of a gay choosing to be that way sooner or later.

        1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 4:11pm

          and they quote the ‘born that way’ argument to define us as a group that suffers.

          I’d rather have freedom myself.

          1. i thought i was born gay by the same dna lottery that made me a brunnette. i’m not suffering, just part of life’s diversity

          2. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 4:38pm

            I’d have to check on Hair Colour and inheritance (I think there’s a fairly high correlation particularly with red hair which is double recessive – meaning you need two parents who carry the gene to have red hair) but there is no proven Genetic link in sexuality.

    2. To me the danger I see here are the kids that will care, campaigns like it gets better have worked hard to get kids to accept themselves, to stop the bullying, one this tells these kids (who unfortunately are influenced by celebrity culture) that people are right they can choose not to be gay. Then there are the parents, bullies and other people who would prefer to believe their son, daughter, sister, brother could choose not to be gay, it encourages this ignorance.

    3. No simple, single cause for the sexual orientation of homosexuals (or even heterosexuals) have been conclusively demonstrated, but several studies has indicated various contributing factors such as genetic influence or a combination of genetic, hormonal and environmental influences. Biological factors which may be related to the development of a heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or asexual orientation include genes, prenatal hormones, and brain structure. This is an ongoing study and several key indicators are being assessed or have been identified as future or current research areas.

      In a 1991 study, Simon LeVay demonstrated that a tiny clump of neurons of the anterior hypothalamus — which is believed to control sexual behavior and linked to prenatal hormones — was on average more than twice the size in heterosexual men when contrasted to homosexual men. These results have been confirmed by later studies.

      Girls with congenital adrenal hyperplasia (an autosomal recessive ….

    4. … condition which results in high androgen levels during fetal development) have more masculinized sex role identities and are more likely to have a homosexual sexual orientation as adults than controls.

      Hormonal exposure in the prenatal development appears to be an extremely strong indicator and influence on sexual orientation.

      There is significant physiological, brain, perceptual and cognitive differences – between heterosexuals and homosexuals – reported within the past six years by various researchers around the world. Chromosome linkage and Epigenetics studies have also indicate definitive differences between hetero and homo-sexuals.

  10. The problem here is Actress’s seem to be intelligent – but clearly they are as dumb as a pile of poo – Someone explain to Ms Nixon that she is probably Bisexual – she chose women over men – there in lies the choice.

    Either that or Nixon is suffering from ‘anne heche syndrome’

    1. Bi or gay – immoral she be along with narcissim…who cares about this crap as it is immoral and threatens the fabric of civilization.

      Keep your garbage and freakish lifestyle to yourself…save the show for God.

  11. Robert in S. Kensington 24 Jan 2012, 3:13pm

    She obviously is conflicted about her bisexuality. I’ve never chosen to be straight and wouldn’t want to be anway, so that in a way debunks her statement. She ought to ask heterosexuals when they chose to be straight and see what their answer is. Not too bright this lady.

    1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 4:03pm

      and you know she’s Bisexual do you?

      1. She has been attracted to and had sexual relationships with both sexes ….

        Unless I am very much mistaken that fits the definition of bisexuality

        1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 7:02pm

          many lesbians I know have had children to men they stayed with – are they bisexual too?

          1. Were they sexually attracted to the men they had children with?

          2. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 7:39pm

            they stayed with them for long enough and loved them

          3. In other words I would say that they have been bisexual and choose not to identify as such now – but they orientation by loving and being sexually attracted to both sexes is clearly bisexual (whether thats how they wish to identify or not)

          4. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 8:44pm

            you would damn half the Lesbians in the world by those rules but then it seems all about setting rules.

          5. Not rules, theotherone – people can do what they like. The only person I know who identifies now as a lesbian but has previously slept with a man is a lady who says that she became aware of her true sexuality later in life. Some people believe they’re bisexual but then realise they’re only attracted to the same sex, others realise that they’re attracted to both, etc, etc. All different, all fine, of course.

            But one cannot choose – that is, make a conscious mental decision – to be attracted to a sex that someone’s not actually attracted to. A person may possibly meet someone of a sex that they didn’t think they were attracted to and find that they are attracted, but they can’t just DECIDE to be attracted.

          6. I am not condemning anyone …

            I am not setting any rules …

            I am merely saying that if a person is (not through choice but through who they are) attracted to both sexes then they are bisexual …

            They may choose for a multitude of reasons to concentrate on one sex … that may even change at another stage in life … but if they are attracted to both sexes they are bisexual … they may choose to live a heterosexual, gay, bisexual or asexual life – but their orienatation is bisexual if they are attracted to both sexes

          7. @thoetherone

            I have just re-read your comment

            Staying with someone and loving someone does not mean being sexually attracted to someone (necessarily) …

            You could stay with someone out of guilt, cover story, etc etc

            I love my best friend Clare – I am not sexually attracted to her …

            So, if they were sexually attracted to men, then I would say the dictionary definition is bisexual – if they were not then they were behaving in a sexual manner contrary to their orientation …

  12. Everything is a choice though, the choice to be honest or lie, the choice to do something about a situation or to ignore it.

  13. I think you got lost.

  14. Spanner1960 24 Jan 2012, 3:22pm

    Cynthia who?
    Why does PN pander to these fruitloops?

    1. Mr. Ripley's Asscrack 24 Jan 2012, 4:35pm

      It gets the juices flowing – but pander??? They are just reporting on something newsworthy (to some).

    2. I must admit myview is kind of Cynthia who …?

      Although I know my ex would slap me hard if I said that in his presence …

  15. Your nickname says more about you than anything else. Pervert.

    1. Also, you are a liar. Scientists can only state that there is no SINGLE gene likely to be responsible for sexual orientation. Even that is a generalisation applying to sampling statistics of twin studies etc. Since ultimate causation is unknown then there is no reason why a single gene might not be responsible in a particular person – although unlikely, we are not drosophila.

      All the latest credible evidence points to a combination of genetic, hormonal and environmental (esp. embryonic environment) factors. Given your ignorance I’ll remind you that genes are in fact DNA.

  16. well, frankly i think women ARE naturally bi. they can cuddle up to girlfriends and then go to bed with men. its interchangeable. Different for gay men.

    1. Monty Crisco 24 Jan 2012, 3:38pm

      There are plenty of women who are just lesbian, but there does seem to be a broader spectrum of bisexuality/fluidity for women than men, if we can believe the TV documentaries.

    2. I disagree. Most women don’t find men and women interchangeable. If it was that easy, I wouldn’t have had all those rejections from women who were very much straight! (and no, the beer/lager thing doesn’t work with girls before someone suggests it! :p )

    3. Maybe you are bi …. doesnt mean everyone else female is …

      Or is that the bi female equivalent of the gay male definition of a straight man?

      1. I wish I had read your comment first, Iris … lol

  17. catch up on your science

  18. Monty Crisco 24 Jan 2012, 3:31pm

    I’ve seen progs on TV where it showed the sexuality of some women was fluid over their lifetime, but for men it wasn’t.

    She’s either bi, or has experienced some fluidity, but in any event she doesn’t choose who she’s attracted to physically and emotionally, nobody does. She’s being as naive as Peter Tatchell in some of his pontifications.

  19. Dr Robin Guthrie 24 Jan 2012, 3:31pm

    You really are a vile excuse for a human aren’t you ..

  20. As a Christian homophobic troll you really do wallow in filth, $hit for brains.
    We all pity you.

  21. bobbleobble 24 Jan 2012, 3:33pm

    Paedophilia is not a sexuality, paedophiles often have an adult sexuality which is totally unrelated to their sexual attraction to children. Gay people control their urges all the time, I don’t leap on every man that I find attractive. However, when I meet someone who I am attracted to and who is also attracted to me and we have sex then no one is being harmed, unlike a child who is being abused by a paedophile, which is why paedophiles are required to control their urges or else face punishment.

    PS – you’d be hard pressed to find a scientist who would state with any certainty what causes sexuality of any variety but they certainly have not ruled out DNA as being a contributing factor as you seem to believe. And even if DNA is ruled out, that does not preclude the idea of us being born gay, many scientists believe that inutero hormones are an important contributing factor in determining someone’s sexuality. So we’re still born gay even if it isn’t in our genetic make up

    1. Exactly!

    2. May I ask you why do you consider homosexuality to be wrong?
      I do not believe in God, so don’t make that story your excuse.
      If reproduction is the excuse, I believe there are many heterosexual couples having enough babies to fill up a planet or two.

      1. I think you missed the I don’t believe in god so don’t use that excuse with me part. God has a lot of rules do you follow them all or only the ones who fit with your own fear of gay men?

  22. “she said “you don’t get to define my gayness for me”.”

    This is the important thing for every individual to remember, now go inform all anti-gay homophobes everywhere with that message.

    1. Monty Crisco 24 Jan 2012, 3:44pm

      She’s a public figure, so some people will always give her words some weight. That carries a responsibility not to mislead.

      Nobody is defining her gayness, that’s just a glib line to deflect well deserved criticism.

      1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 4:04pm

        ‘Nobody is defining her gayness’

        funny, they’re on here saying she’s obviously Bi.

        1. Strange being bi is different from being gay …

    2. Larry Estrada 24 Jan 2012, 4:00pm

      it’s not that simple by defining herself this way she just defined the entire gay community to the small minded homophobes.

      1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 4:08pm

        no she defined herself.

        why do we have to define our sexuality in relation to those that hate us?

        1. You’re not even gay.

          1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 7:23pm

            my lesbian partner would disagree with that

  23. Bisexuality appears as others have said to be Nixon’s orientation and therefore in her case she has chosen to fall in love with someone of the same sex – That’s not the same as being gay by orientation, that’s being in a Gay relationship

    I am one of those who believe that the majority of us are all born bisexual, it just makes sense to me from a biological & evolutionary aspect and is to do with forming bonded family and social groups but unlike most believe bisexuality is a sliding scale with totally hetero and totally homosexual at either end and the rest of us sit somewhere in the middle – some more gay that straight, others more straight than gay and that I accept is still a complete over-simplification of the beautiful variety that is seen in healthy human sexual relationships

    Obviously Nixon should identify as a bi woman with a preference for woman and by not embracing that – she devalues the whole LGBT movement

    1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 4:06pm

      no you and others have chosen to define her sexuality for her because you don’t like what she said, it’s not the same thing.

      1. Not at all …

        She states she has made a choice, having had sexual encounters whcih she desired with both sexes …

        She has had gay relationships – that was a choice she made, she could have chosen to find a man to have a straight relationship with …

        None of this changes the fact, that if she is able to choose – because she genuinely feels attractions to both sexes then she is by definition (whether she likes it, you like it or anyone else likes it or not) bisexual …

  24. A choice? So she woke up one day and decided to be attracted to women? I don’t think so.

    As for the “I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay” line, then either she’s bi as others have said or had repressed her gayness (not a criticism – she may not even have realised herself).

    1. Monty Crisco 24 Jan 2012, 3:46pm

      Or is one of the women that have experienced some fluidity over their lifetime.

      1. Possibly, Monty Crisco, but even if that were so it wouldn’t be a choice, it would be something that happened and which resulted in her attraction being different not in her choosing to be sexually attracted to the same sex.

        She has children. That’s one possibility that the fluidity idea explores – that some women are focussed on having children and that that desire overrides their self-assessment of their sexual attraction causing them to subconsciously ignore their sexual orientation in order to fulfil their priority – children. This sounds calculating but for a small number of women, it’s just a genuine natural thing. Even if Cynthia were one of these women, she still didn’t choose how she felt – then or now.

        You can’t CHOOSE what sex you’re going to be attracted to – you either are or you aren’t. For a small number of women (and men too?) there may be shifts during one’s lifetime as you’ve mentioned, but those are determined by other things (hormones or the like) not by choice.

      2. @Monty

        If there is that fluidity … would that not suggest an element of bisexuality …

  25. “However, the majority ARE able to control their sexual urges and not abuse children.” – I have no sexual urges to abuse children, do you?

  26. About a hundred years ago, sexologists believed that the only way they could convince the establishment of the need for gay rights was by demonstrating the biological basis for sexuality. It’s a shame that the debate has not moved on all this time later. We absolutely, and increasingly, have the debate around sexuality shaped for us by those who oppose us. The point is not whether it’s a choice or not, it’s that there is no proper moral or ethical reason to oppose same-sex attraction or love. To suggest that we are ‘born this way’ is a massive over-simplification; there may very well be genetic elements involved in determining sexuality, but like most things, it’s probably a mixture of biological and environmental factors. This is an interesting but ethically unimportant debate. We have to take the moral high-ground on this and say regardless of how my penchant for cocksucking came to pass, it’s absolutely my right to engage in such activity in a modern, liberal society…

    1. Monty Crisco 24 Jan 2012, 3:53pm

      You’re right about the moral debate, but not about the basis of sexuality. “it’s probably a mixture of biological and environmental factors. ” – this has so far only proven to be a myth. I wish people would stop repeating it like a mantra that will become true if you repeat it enough. About 160 years of research has produced zero evidence for environmental factors outside the womb, but there is clear evidence that sexual orientation is created by genetic factors and/or uterine environment.

      1. “but there is clear evidence that sexual orientation is created by genetic factors and/or uterine environment.”


        1. Another very familiar straight troll. Do they never tire of all the gay action?

        2. Same dreary $hit fir brains troll, different asinine name.

          But no straight gene has been shown to exist, it’s very unlikely there would be one gene switch for sexual orientation it is thought there would be a much more complicated interaction of inherited genetic material combined with environmental hormonal conditions the foetus is exposed to within the mothers womb.

      2. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 4:19pm

        ‘About 160 years of research has produced zero evidence for environmental factors outside the womb, but there is clear evidence that sexual orientation is created by genetic factors and/or uterine environment.’

        Cn you point to any study that finds a 100% correlation between a gene or series of genes and sexuality? If not then the argument (unlike with some genetic illnesses) is not proven.

      3. Kindly point me in the direction of this. I am a medic and I have seen none. Where high indices of homosexuality within the same family are cited, it’s very difficult to prove that this is genetic, given the high number of environmental factors that family members are likely to have in common. The nature/nature debate is a long way from being solved, in pretty much every domain in which it’s being discussed.

      4. Totally agreed

    2. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 4:17pm

      thank you for some common sense.

      Even finding a ‘gay gene’ does not mean that sexuality is innate as the genotype is not the phenotype or, to put it another way, we are not our genes.

      1. you have DNA but does that make you human? don’t think so

        1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 8:45pm

          what are you on about?

  27. Ignore the keith troll – it craves attention. Don’t feed it!

  28. Mr. Ripley's Asscrack 24 Jan 2012, 3:47pm

    Barking! Woof-woof. Someone should physically remove her from all limelight and smack her until her stupid head bleeds.

    I’ve always pitied those people who look up to actors (hollywood ones in particular!) as ROLE MODELS, and this is why! Please people, be your own role model and save a-hole-listers from La-la-land having to think for themselves whilst giving praying bibble-bashers ammunition.

    If gay were my club, Noxious would’ve just been barred for life. A*hole.

    1. Someone please delete this comment, advocating assault is not appropriate.

      1. Mr. Ripley's Asscrack 24 Jan 2012, 5:35pm

        Gabrielle, I do not advocate assault. I intended a comedic device. That bibble-bashers get round the argument of god-making gays (some believe that he created us all- although I don’t know where they get any evidence to support this theory) by espousing that I CHOSE to be gay, only for Noxious to believe the same, drives me utterly mad with comedic rage. I do apologise unreservedly for wrenching your political correctness from your tiny, little hands.

        1. Mr. Ripley's Asscrack 25 Jan 2012, 9:40pm

          Hey hey hey! My first negatively-scored comment! Weirdly, I feel chuffed! Oh the power of it – honestly I may never be the same! If smacking someone ever brought sense to them (ah, yesteryear and corporal punishments from mentally-infirm nuns!!), then pinch me I AM that nun. Clearly, my good humour at these slings and arrows will not directly benefit me, but let it be a lesson to everyone else! Don’t say things like ‘slap’ in the same sense sentence as ‘head’, and defo, not ‘bleed’, as humans do bleed but not as a result of slapping! Clearly, I am getting a life now and have seen the error of such dealings. :-)

  29. I have to agree that it is naive and counter-productive for a relatively high profile ‘celeb’ to add fuel to the ignorants’ fire in the US, when the equality debate is still so delicately balanced. The US is not like the UK or Europe where protective equality legislation has pushed the acceptance agenda favourably (not that this journey is yet anywhere near complete; there is a very long way to go).

    Whether ultimately this interview has any long term negative impact is impossible to tell, but the content and timing are unhelpful to say the least.

  30. Irrelevant tosh.
    Whether or not an ‘urge’ is controlable or chosen has nothing to do with the legitimacy of its expression. Paedophiles should control their urges because the expression of it, other than masturbatory fantasy, is abusive. There is no reason per se why two adults of the same sex should not engage in consenting sexual relations. You simply don’t approve of it, which is tough. Sorry.

    1. Keith, you are identifiable by your obsessions. And yes, it is perfectly acceptable to me for two adults who are closely related to have consensual sex. The only qualification I would put on this is that they should prevent conception if they are heterosexual, because of the high health risks to children of genetic proximity between their parents. Your remarks about my mind are puerile and gratuitious, and a sign of desperation in your defence of arbitrary taboos.

      1. This is what your not understanding, along as there is no negative consequences, then you could jack off over a gay news site for all I care.

        And as your pointless and ridiculous rants don’t particularly effect anyone on this site, it means no-one cares about what you do in the slightest so get your mind out of our bedrooms and back into that excellent job you are doing at being the low end of the average IQ.

        1. “the penis an transmit IV trough promoscuous sex.”

          Drunk again, I see.

  31. Gustavo Martins 24 Jan 2012, 3:56pm

    We can all choose! As per her statement, she can choose between straight and gay relationship, but what she cannot choose is the fact that even though she thinks it´s a choice, It´s better with another woman- that she cannot choose. |She was born this way.
    I am gay, i could choose to live a unhappy life with a woman- having occasional sex partners on the side. My CHOICE was to come out and be happy with the preference I born with – GAY

    1. As some of them say, “Why be happy when you can be “normal”?” (lol)

  32. Larry Estrada 24 Jan 2012, 3:57pm

    Cynthia Nixon thanks for making My homosexuality a choice By making the false statement that your’s is.By undermining everything that has been worked for over the past 40 or 50 years.Thank You for making it all a choice,In doing so you have made my indianess a choice my mexicaness a choice I no longer am who I am because I now have a choice thank you for your ignorance thank you for your blatant disreguard for the truth thank you for all of this and thank you and the rest of your white counterparts for ruining my country over the past 500 years because of you my sexuality is a very bad and dark and sinister thing when long before your kind came to my tribal and traditional lands my sexuality would have been looked upon as a mark of honor instead of a mark of shame I am not nor will not ask for anything from the government that my people did not already have the right to be with who I want to be with was a right granted by the creator HE MADE ME THIS WAY. This is not a choice

    1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 5:17pm

      we have worked for a situation in which our only defence is ‘we can’t help it!’ well pitty us then, we went seriously wrong somewhere.

      1. The only people who might see it as “We can’t help it!” are those who perceive gayness as being a negative quality. I’d hope most gay people who say that they’re born gay would see that as either a simple statement of what they believe or a positive thing.

        1. Absolutely, Iris

          Why if there was a choice – would we choose to be anything but gay (yes there is a lot of societal baggage to contend with – but its such a fantastic thing to be!)

          Now, others may have a different view and make a different choice (if it were possible) …

          The fact remains if you are able to make a choice about attraction then each sex has an element of (or possibly equal) attraction … ergo if you can choose you are bisexual …

        2. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 8:46pm

          seems people on here would disagree with you on that.

          1. Seems people on here would agree with me on that too …

            Seems some people are prepared to accept definitions and some are not …

            You do not need to accept the definition or utilise it … but if you are some attracted to both sexes then you are bisexual …

            The OED seems quite clear on the issue:

            Pronunciation: /bʌɪˈsɛksjʊəl, -ʃʊəl/
            sexually attracted to both men and women.

            Now you can choose whether you wish to describe yourself as that or not, but if the definition fits then others can legitimately describe you that way ….

            I may be from Newcastle and thus be a Geordie but may choose to describe myself as English rather than Geordie – it does not stop the fact I am a Geordie whether I want to describe myself that way or not

      2. I am glad I’m gay, god if I had to be straight and jump through all the hoops straight people have to jump through I think I’d kill myself, being gay I get to choose how I want my relationship to be without judgement or “normality” shoved down my throat.

        However I also accept that being gay was not my choice, I didn’t wake up one morning and think, you know what actually it looks more fun over there! So no don’t pity me for being gay but you sure as hell shouldn’t blame me for it either.

        1. I think there are pro’s and con’s of being gay and of being straight (and presumably some different ones being bi) ….

          Although it is not a choice in any way, shape or form … I am glad that my biology made me gay … Life is better without the expectations that people place on most straight people and more freedom and flexibility

  33. Cynthia Nixon is missing the point. She’s not choosing to be gay or straight, she’s just choosing within her bisexuality. Maybe she needs to ask herself whether she chose to be bisexual.

  34. I don’t think anyone ‘chooses’ a sexual orientation, anymore than he or she chooses a personality. As others have suggested, I think Nixon has ‘chosen’ to act upon desires she already had, and, like many others, sees and defines sexuality purely in functional terms. It is confusing and unhelpful, but not really the point, which is the alacrity with which lgbt activists scream that we must all insist we were born this way in order to legitimate the claim for equal rights. This colludes directly with the homophobic view that our lives and loves cannot be a valid choice, and that choice is fair game for discrimination and inequality. The point of fact that it in practice is NOT a choice is irrelevant to the issue.

  35. What do you expect? She’s an actor and all actors are brainless dimwits. So don’t expect anything intelligent coming from them.

  36. Cynthia Nixon’s stupidity and irresponsibility is quite breath-taking.

    Her sexual orientation is not a choice.

    She says that she has had proper relationships with men, and that now she is in a relationship with a woman.

    That does NOT make her gay. It makes her bisexual.

    If she was not attracted to women then she would not now be in a same-sex relationship.

    She has no choice in terms of where her attractions like. The only ‘choice’ she made is when she decided to act out on her natural same-sex attractions.

    Alll the religious lunatic and bigots are going to jump on her incredibly irresponsible words and use them as an excuse to bash us all.

    There is no choice in terms of sexual orientation.

    Such a pity Cynthia Nixon chose to make such harmful, untrue, and dangerous comments. She is such an idiot.

    1. Absolutely.

    2. and how one would describe relationship of two bisexuals…..?

      1. Probably a bit complicated. But hey, some people love a challenge.

      2. a choice …?

        1. I only mean that because they are both bisexual they could choose whether to follow a male or female attraction … therefore finding each other was/is a choice

          1. and that choice would be called…?

          2. It would be a definition of their relationship not their orientation …

          3. i was asking for definition of that particular relationship, so not sure why you came up with the sexual orientation thing

          4. @Kane

            I came back with the orientation thing because thats what msot people on here have been discussing …

            as for the relationship I would define it as a two bisexuals that engaged in either a male-male, male-female or female-female relationship …

            Of course, it could be complicated if they are not monogamous and that may change the descriptor in some way

      3. As a relationship which is within the bounds of each of their sexualities whatever their gender.

      4. Wouldn’t it depend on their sex?

        1. But anyway, isn’t it people not relationships that we ‘label’?

      5. “and how one would describe relationship of two bisexuals…..?”

        A relationship…

        1. Perfect :)

  37. michael nadin 24 Jan 2012, 4:19pm

    twat !

  38. Kerry Hollowell 24 Jan 2012, 4:31pm

    she clearly has a friend in Margaret Court

  39. i think it is difficult to know what is it like to be bisexual, especially if you not one and equally it is difficult to know what is it like to be gay if your not one, so maybe people shouldn’t really talk about something they haven’t experienced, it will only confuse others not familiar with the subject

  40. Another Hannah 24 Jan 2012, 5:16pm

    what rubbish – she means she could choose hide it, and live an uncomfortable lie!!! I think from this she is too thick to really understand what is going on in her own mind, or else she hasn’t really considered it properly.

  41. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 5:30pm


    usualy you have to say something really ofensive to have your comment hidden.

    All i said was that i agreed with this woman. That puts me in the same category as Homophobes trolling this board.

    Yea to freedom of thought…

    1. Speech and thought are not the same thing. Duh!

    2. A fitting category for you and this lousy actor.

  42. She is bisexual, she has children so of course she feels it is a choice but in fact God made gays the same as he made straights to be born on earth to love one another. God loves all LGBT and straight people. Don’t confuse the Christian propaganda that it is a choice with her choice to say it is a choice because she does not speak for God or all of the born this way gays. Know she is speaking only for herself. Too bad she is pushing the Christian propaganda that it is a choice perhaps she is really an agent for them and using her celebrity to push her agenda. Be on the look out for this type of action to go on now that the Christians are using psychological warfare on the LGBT people to weaken their push for Equal Rights and Civil Rights and gay marriage. Think about it, there are a lot of government agents who are CIA, FBI and others who are Christians who use their covert training in psychological operations and teach it to Christians in their war on gays.

    1. …er…saying that we are born this way does not automatically mean that we believe ‘God’ made us this way, right?

      just saying…

  43. GemmaGemGem 24 Jan 2012, 5:46pm

    I’m bisexual.

    I’m married to a man now, but have had sexual urges toward/experiences with women in the past.

    It doesn’t mean I was CHOOSING to be gay then and am CHOOSING to be straight now. It means that I’m bisexual and acting within those bounds.

    I like men, I like women.

    I met my husband, we fell in love and got married- but if he had been a ‘she’, my choice to marry ‘her’ would have been the same regardless of gender.

    I’m a fan of Cynthia from ‘Sex in the City’ but I find that her narrow view on her own sexuality needs to be addressed personally by her before making such rash statements.

    1. Clear explanation, GemmaGemGem – thank you.

    2. Thank you. This is one of the big misconceptions of being bisexual. I don’t choose to be straight when I’m with my male partner and I certainly don’t choose to be gay when I’m with my female partner. I’m bi regardless of what gender I have sex/relationships with.

      1. @Oonai

        Absolutely …

        The only “choice” is who the relationship(s) you develop are with …

        There may be what could be described as gay sex or straight sex involved – but throughout it all you remain bi ,….

  44. Homosexuality IS a choice. You can change, you just need to try. It is easy

    1. Yes just ask all those Republican senators and pastors married to long suffering wives for years then caught in the act, and of course those leaders of the ex-gay movement who now fully admit it is impossible to change your orientation.

    2. so when you did decide to stop having affairs with other men

    3. Yeah you can prove it too, come and “walk on the wild side” baby! you know you want to choose a different lifestyle to the straight hell you are living in while haunting gay comments boards. Wake up to yourself!

    4. Why do we need to try?

    5. Yeah, like you maybe? Straight but haunting gay sites?

      1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 7:06pm

        fine I chose it but why would I choose hetrosexuality? indeed why do you choose hetrosexuality?

        1. he had a divine intervention, a burning bush spoke to him ‘pj you must choose heterosexuality’

          1. theotherone 24 Jan 2012, 8:48pm

            must have been

            I should insert a joke about ‘burning bushes’ here.

    6. Yeah, cause i chose to be a lesbian. I chose to hate myself for years because of my attraction to women. I chose to attempt suicide, because of bullying, yeah, completly my choice. And i chose to be alone in a mainly straight college, being single while the rest of my girl friends had boyfriends every ten seconds. Get some perspective mate!

  45. It makes no difference to the morality of homosexuality. Choice or not. It makes no difference whatsoever.

  46. This is what hap pens when celebs are given p power to speak for all of us because they are famous. I think gareth thomas has the potential to do something like this. He has an exalted status but has done nothing to earn it, just like her y

  47. Joseph Adam 24 Jan 2012, 10:10pm

    Wow. Don’t hate on her. You don’t hate her. She is simply a women expressing the way she has experienced her sexuality. Most of you are just scared of conservatives using it to oppose gay equality. But seriously be the bigger person and stop being so frikin scared. If she wants to identify as gay awesome, the more the merrier. If you think she’s bi you are entitled to your opinion… But reserve it for your gossip mags.

  48. If that is the case then thank God I have the ‘choice’ not to be heterosexual or vote Conservative!

    1. Spanner1960 25 Jan 2012, 11:37pm

      I can’t help it if I was born Tory. ;)

      1. You just coming out of the closet now …?

  49. Maybe a CHOICE for her, but the vast majority of us were BORN this way.

    So she cannot speak for all of us.

    To me this reads as internalised homophobia and she cannot accept her sexuality.

  50. Cynthia Nixon says: I’ve ben staright and I’ve been gay; for me being gay is a choice.

    Tranlstion: I’m bisexual.

  51. I wonder why she chose to be a Lesbian then.

  52. Cynthia, did you choose to be a bisexual or were you born that way?

  53. Good for her. Whoever she is. But I would say this in response; as a man who tried very hard for a variety of unpleasant reasons to be straight, and failed utterly in the end, I know for an absolute fact that I cannot change or choose my sexuality. I imagine the same is for everyone else. People like her saying things like this make people like me struggle to do the impossible for far too long before learning to be happy. As it turns out, if someone could give me a pill to turn me straight now I wouldn’t take it, I love being gay and I’d choose it if I had a choice, but you can’t learn that until you learn to accept that you are who you are – which is made very hard by people pushing the “choice” nonsense. I wish people would consider the struggles of the next generation of gay kids before making fatuous and harmful statements like this.

    1. Excellent points, sven.

  54. I have read an interview where she did say she was bi, and from the quote “I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice.” what I interpreted her saying is that it’s not always a choice for people but for her she feels that it’s her choice to be with a woman. Personally I dort have a problem with what she said as she was only speaking for herself and not the whole LGBT community.

    1. Dr Robin Guthrie 25 Jan 2012, 10:25am

      Unfortunately the media do not interpret it that way and it feeds the bigots.

  55. I think Ms Nixon’s correct. I am attracted to men, but I choose to live an openly homosexual lifestyle as opposed to say living in a ‘sham marriage’ type situation. She has every right to use the label as she wants. That our actions may not be a direct result of genetics, does not make them any less valid or any more immoral. She raises important points about how we use labels in the gay community. We should not use our genes as the twinky defence. Go Cynthia! I choose my label too. I’m glad you’re on my team Sister.

    1. If she is able to choose then she is not gay … if it is a definitie choice then she has the option to be in a relationship where the gender is of no relevance because she is attracted to both sexes … thus she is bisexual … she may choose to be in a gay relationship, but thats not her orientation …

      I am gay, if I went into a “straight relationship” then it would be false and irrational as I am not attracted to women … My orientation is homosexual – not bisexual or heterosexual, I dont have a choice over who I am attracted to …

      If you have a choice – then you are or can be attracted to both … you are therefore bisexual …

      Its not about boxes or relationships, its about genuine orientation …

      You may be bisexual and choose to live as gay or straight or bisexual, but your orientation remains bisexual …

      1. Agreed. We all make choices in our lifes but sexual attraction/orientation is not one of them.

        Paoul, I was interested that you mentioned the option of a ‘sham marriage’ in your post – yes, that would be a conscious choice, but there are also those who suppress their true sexuality and try to be normal. Were you suggesting the possibility that that applied to Cynthia in some way? That is, that her use of the words ‘straight’ and ‘gay’ applied more to the sex of the people she was in relationships with than her own innate sexuality?

        I can accept that but I can’t accept her statement that attraction is a choice – acting on it, ignoring it might be, but sexual attraction is something ‘out of our control’ (even though we can choose to disregard it for whatever reasons, be they personal or cultural, religious, moral etc ).

  56. Stupid woman, if your attracted to both genders a) obviously your not gay b) its still not a choice.

    No human has ever choosen who they love or are attracted to. Once we feel for someone our choice is to persue the feelings. Thats it.

    We all know shes an idiot but groups of people will use her ill thought words against us all to bring suffering to many.

  57. You will often hear religious folk making statements such as “the lifestyle they chose” or “they have made their choice”. Sexual orientation is as much as choice as your natural hair color or whether you are right or left handed (incidentally gays have far more prevalent occurrences of left-handedness than straights). As studies and science have indicated, sexual orientation is not a choice, not even at a subconscious level.

    People also seem to confuse the embracing of their sexual orientation by gays with choosing to sexual orientation. In the first instance you are accepting what you are, in the latter you are deciding to switch sexual orientation on a whim.

    A recent functional magnetic resonance imaging study has demonstrated that upon viewing of both heterosexual and homosexual erotic visual stimuli, only those images corresponding to the subject’s sexual orientation produced hypothalamic activation patterns associated with sexual arousal. This is the utter antithesis of …

    1. … of people “choosing” a sexual orientation, and means that sexual orientation is not a choice, but a slave and function of their biology.

      (from African News 2011)

  58. it is apparent that people not only use their religious conviction and scripture to justify (and have done so for millennia) their own prejudice and fear of the unknown and xenophobic tendencies, but unfortunately religion is in many instances a massive source of this prejudice. No matter what message of love or forgiveness a religion preaches, there seem to be no end to the damnation and prejudice against gays from these communities, in many instances bordering on outright hatred. I have always maintained that religion is one of the biggest contributors to hatred in this world. Some religions (or some of their denominations) have embraced gays, while others know no bounds in their bigotry and prejudice, outrightly refusing to accept gays as human beings.

    There is also an very definite evangelical blackout of research on sexual orientation, as has been admitted by several of these adherents. In other words, whether delibarate or not, evangelicals tend to be ignoring the facts …

    1. … surrounding homosexuality and tend to simple fall back on scripture.

      This (prejudice) has been a tendency from most religious, and we have seen this prejudice from its adherents against women, other races, other nations and anyone different, from millennia, and only recently have most of these cults been forced to give some ground as to the humane treatment of these individuals in society. For me it just once again confirms that religion is an utterly and undeniably cultural construct.

      But luckily the outcry against homophobic statements is on the increase, and not only from secular society. But just as we still see the maltreatment and oppression of women in many cultures and countries – which very often is theocratic or highly religious in nature – we still see vast amounts of this ignorance and prejudice against the gay community.

      1. Let’s cut to the fact that western civilization and Christianity labeled such moral deviancy due to the preservation of their civilizations. TO date not one culture has survived long after tweaking its religious or moral norms to accomodate deviancy in any form just to be “fair”. As a Republic and not a Democracy we have minimized the majority for the minorities – something our nation was not founded on.

        If you want to do with your private life do so, but do not flaunt it in my face as it is my right to my beliefs as well as you do. When your norms intrude on my and my children’s healthy well-being, it is time to take these outliners out of the political and social equation to preserve something they simply do not get.

        FInd a gay gene or some social reason for a behavior aside from the child’s upbringing prior to the age or 14 y.o. or simply put, personal choice.

        Aside from God, this behavior is just an excuse by choice…respect my American moral space and children on and off TV.

        1. @ Joe Yuma –

          As a matter of fact, the persistence of ambisexuality throughout the age of homophobic repression, the age of Abrahamic religions combined with Greek ascetic philosophy, proves that homosexuality is a legitimate and natural aspect of human sexuality, an aspect of human sexuality which is now protected by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

        2. Yet you let your ignorance and hate intrude on many other decent people’s lives and that of their children and flaunt them in public. Thank god most Americans don’t have such venomous views.

          Your children’s well-being will be FAR more affected by your own issues and ill-concealed bitterness and hate than a few gay people spending their lives with the one they love.

        3. This does not effect you, thats the point it is not in your face and it is nothing to do with you. If you want to believe in god fine believe in it but I don’t and I don’t care what your god has to say about my sexuality, who I love is who I love so unless you fancy someone telling you who you are and aren’t allowed to love I suggest you stop trying to tell us who we can and can’t love!!

        4. – and here’s some proof it isn’t a choice.

  59. Daniel Johnston 25 Jan 2012, 3:32pm

    This is totally fair, if she sees it as a choice, then that’s fair enough.
    The whole Gaga ‘Born this way’ annoys me.
    where did it all come from – it’s all deluding!
    She debuted herself as this ‘futuristic, yet retro’ party girl who likes to get drunk yet have a good time – fair enough – i quite like that attitude.
    then the whole ‘born this way’
    well, if you were, why didn’t you debut that way? You can’t just evolve into something like that.
    That’s just my assumption anyway – I never believe ‘your born gay’ never do i ever.
    I’m sexually attracted to men, but I still admire the beauty of women and think “Am I actually bisexual?” – but looking at the bigger picture, and taking the ‘sexual’ aspect into consideration; no it turns me off!
    Anyway, enough of my rant!
    But I believe, it’s to do with your upbringing; your own adaption to things, and how you perceeve things. Be who YOU want to be. It’s how you WORK and MATURE – not how your born.

    1. There is a difference (is there not?) between admiring someone who is good looking and sexual attraction?

      I can admire many good looking women, but I don’t want to get into bed with any of them …

    2. “I’m sexually attracted to men, but I still admire the beauty of women and think “Am I actually bisexual?” – but looking at the bigger picture, and taking the ‘sexual’ aspect into consideration; no it turns me off!”

      Absolutely. Those kind of feelings about boys – liking their company, appreciating the aesthetic qualities of the more handsome ones – confused me too when I was younger. But if you don’t want to sleep with someone, or do and find it unsatisfactory, then that informs your own sexuality, and you cannot choose to change that. That’s why I don’t agree with what Cynthia said – you can’t just CHOOSE to find someone or one gender attractive when you really don’t.

  60. Cynthia Nixon say, “For me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me,” she said.

    “Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate?” she continued. “It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate.”

  61. A PROUD CANADIAN 25 Jan 2012, 7:38pm


  62. This woman makes mad and all the bigots are clapping their hands right now because of this rediculous and dangerous statement.

    I am gay, that’s my sexuailty. I want to sleep with women and NOT men. I struggled as a teenager and young adult with this. All the girls around me marrying men and having kids and I knew this wasn’t what I wanted and couldn’t understand why.

    I am always reading in pink news etc where someone who’s gay has been tormented, bullied etc because of their sexuality!

    Why the HELL would you ‘choose’ that?! Such talk is damn well dangerous and should be encouraged. She just want admit she is bisexual! Yes dear you like both! Don’t give it a nice fairytale name such a fluidity! It’s nonsense! You are bisexual…get over it! AND it wasn’t a choice. All that happened is you spent a part of your life with men then one day the right women walked into your life! Simple as!

    1. Sorry I meant it ‘shouldn’t’ be encouraged! Got in a rant and made an error! lol

  63. Ignore the troll. It’s desperate for attention now its other abusive posts were removed. Sad really.

  64. Biological Essentialism may not be the best place to hang your hat. I’m queer because I am and I haven’t spent much time asking why. I should have equal rights under the law because it is my right to practice my sexuality as I see fit as long as I am not harming others in the process (harm does not include homophobic reactions). To claim that I should have equal rights because I was born with a queer sexuality in my mind is an assimilist argument. Why I am the way I am and why I want what I want is of no consequence. Some of us may feel we were born this way and others like myself feel differently about it. Feeling differently about it does not mean however that I think it is a choice. Biological essentialism perpetuates an over-simplified and dichotomous understanding of both gender and sexuality. I am not against the notion that sexuality is biological. I do however oppose the idea that biology itself tells the whole story. Furthermore I am against basing rights and equality on biol

  65. One thing that annoys me a bit with the whole “born this way” thing is that it sort of buys into the religious right (wrong?) idea that if it is a choice, then it is the wrong choice and therefore wrong because some almighty imaginary dude says so in a 2000 year old book written by another culture – in the bronze ages.

    As a transsexual and lesbian I can safely say that it is not a choice for me. I cannot imagine anyone would just choose that path in life. If she think it’s a choice, it shouldn’t really matter. She’s free to choose or believe that she’s choosing. It probably is a choice to some extent for bisexuals.

    At the end of the day I’m not so sure about the whole free will idea in the first place.

  66. “This clealy demonstrates the lack of morality in the homosexua disordr community.”

    Drunk again, are we?

  67. Burningworm 30 Jan 2012, 9:53am

    Choice isn’t a dirty word.

  68. Burningworm 30 Jan 2012, 10:05am

    There is a simplification going on that so many seem to have swallowed. Maybe it was the marketability of ‘born this way’ or the cry for authentic personhood that found its way into our minds. Where we rally around surveys and neurological findings.

    Choice shouldn’t be viewed as a dirty word.

    I’m male. Gay. Queer. And chose to be gay. I could choose something else. We aren’t primates. Some of us aren’t bound to the conditions of our birth. Its mindless reasoning that dictates that we are born a certain way. Life is for the choosing. Affirm the choice, what is the need in piddling around searching for a stamp that relieves you of ownership.

  69. Jason Brown 31 Jan 2012, 11:17am

    Why is everyone telling her what her sexuality is? Everyone keeps treating sexuality as black and white but if we look at every other species in the world it isn’t, why do you think we’re so special to have a binary sexuality system?
    As a gay man I’m backing Cynthia.

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